Filipe Moura

¬© 2015  por Filipe Moura

SUN KU  LIGHT OF TRUTH 

Considerations are made in good unpretentious disposition, enough dose of independence, deep, interesting as we see the interplay of ideas which resulted very good step to tell a story with a moral that is, the moral of the story ... a story that on two workhorses who made a journey through ancient Japan, since the time of discovery, the gray donkey was loaded with salt, very heavy load, black ass guided to the destination because the caravan had a very light load, took sponge boasting of his luck being very rude the way the gray had enough and was about to die when the effort falls into stumbling big puddle of water melting at half load, black ass watching astonished the incredible luck that fellow there goes up, hastening taking what remained of the cargo. Driven by jealousy, throws himself into the water the same sort of hopeful. 
The sponge soaked with water making it almost impossible to black even stand up, eventually succumbing to tiredness logically and die. 
Stories from Grandpa 
love is like a rainbow, is not always present, always appears! The utopian chaos theory formulated a = 1 +1 = 2:2 = first utopia spiral rainbow multifactorial love ends in the maximum radiation energy entity, blooms in the sun - the land expires, the sun draws the same colors to paint the world - I breathe, you inspire the same air and I'm loving all the colors to paint your world! All part of how we feel things and there are things that come together, others split up but the truth does not hide facts. My first recollection I have only simply reminiscing, I wake immersed in a bright day, and prepared me with the power of light out of darkness and will distribute power and energy for the whole community constellation. I put myself wondering if one day be a hell? If a day is a ray, it would be destructive, scary, noisy, relentless or was bright, beautiful, radiant and energetic. Each ray is how humans different characteristics, different modes of action, different light, ie each beam / be unique and exclusive. Well if one day be a minimum radius was unique. Each ray has the form of action, as in people at any time such action appears in fractions of moments. Do we have the radius of action / being, it might change its direction and destination. In relation to targets and for the first time I invoke the name of god, one day appeared to have a conversation of beliefs and faith with a follower of the Koran that told me the following story which I shall describe, you are given a game for hands and ask God that you vehemently skirt and the top score went up a bit. My dear, the story boils down but he finally threw the dice? But apart from this story I will tell you that we share and we spoke / to be acting with the environment, each one throws the dice with your energy / shape / behavior. I knew it would be a transformer and that things were going to have a balance of forces that would transform the shining reality. A revitalized energy and dissatisfaction that people living with satisfaction would become in all colors to paint your mundo.acordei a reality different from the usual fields of writing and explore through this book going to expand my being. I reflect on how the transmission of thought and equate it to a light and power. We all think about multiple perspectives need to follow a stream and the soul has moments of disturbance, the way we look is not always naive and energy expands. Troubled minds with misdemeanors and are perpetuated in unison voice is louder than many voice, words are an expression of art, from this moment will be inspiration. The heartbeat is the rhythm that expands the veins. The prosecution is done because all the dead have their q. We all believe in evil, and sometimes make us shut up, "but we all think" the recollections are not always present and say that not because pratiques hatred is bad. We all have freedom of speech but not all have the right timing, and nothing more honest than the truth, we have various forms of expression and well being is to have balance. Balance is a series of routines, being nervous is an imbalance. People like commenting. All are pure universal love generates compassion. The sun is a source of energy, the abnormal is nothing happens, everyone forgets when they want and there are always several perspectives, many ideas, few convictions ... There are things hopeless, as all are subject to injustice. Love is a source of pleasure and always alone and protected, that people do not like to think but awareness is a torch that enlightens us. 
There are vices that we all sometimes have fears, they all say and do stupid things. Do not write to anyone, we all have something we do not want to remember, but it's nice to know when we are sad and always admit it and not hide anything because we all have vulnerabilities, we all feel the pleasure of something lurking and when the opportunity opens the door for him . There is always a feeling toward the other, but "nobody is nobody" so everyone has the right to shine. Friendship is always a good beginning to a friend another self. Follow your instinct that you see the positive. All we can be loved and to love love is light generator, when we are loved we must respect that feeling, love each other and increase the birth rate, always with the words in games crossroads undoubtedly an antagonistic expression but with his logic to avoid suffering. "What the old have not wisdom, but prudence" so listen! Everybody knows the good and evil? We have our hand in this decision to be good or bad, some sanity is madness, the knowledge is really important! " If possible be in graduate school of life ... I'll turn for you, by me and who likes me. Change to evolution. A shaft through which passes a current of anxiety vibrant, electric, travel bodies, feeders and hope for something new and amazing that let's static movements but with racing thoughts and anxiety. Paralyzed from moving up the tension in the falls in reality and with movements controlled and measured, down the stairs of thought where we connect to each other. It is on this ladder of thoughts which we categorize behaviors, faces and movements enquadradam on the descent and ascent of the moments of life, lights feed the treadmill without stopping this madness take you to the reality of sec. Xxi, energy, magic, costumes, all with apparent harmony, but watch your step, not everyone is going up the escalator of life, there are beings who climb stairs that rise above all the moves and supports someone, will that be enough or a question of balance? Balance of forces is key to balancing movements, ups and downs of every level, but not all deserve to go down and support us on the climb, effort and perseverance are essential, then raise yourself to the spirit of sacrifice, no injuries or stops and it will take in light of the thinking being. Without balance of outside forces that might give way, the rungs are dry and fed by cables of hope come to the cord most important cycle of life, this energy that feeds the earth. My electrical panel was the one who would command positions and destinations of current universal. It was a sun that would illuminate the dark bowels of the earth nature. What was happening I felt sad for the dawn a suit that came with nightfall, lived, revived and reborn is it the powerful sun (sun) * a radiant source as drops falling on the floor, this source of life and light. My lighthouse, who searches diligently, so the rotary motion of the abnormality. Beginning to feel the first electrocution and nerves electrocution with cardiac noisy blink. Electromagnetic waves that come and go thoughts waveforms around the circle of waves. Electricity runs through my body the chain that leads me to the circuit wave. The electrical pulse fell and am shaken by impulses circulating in electric mode, always knew the truth when discovered by impulse shines brightly, there is a blackout and shut up the voices tormented by the feeling of being light, lights a candle to light accumulated pain of melted wax. Electric doors open softly playing, but no closing time to open. The electric chainsaw cuts to the roots of hatred vibrant obscure. Electrocuted in smoke light that erases the memory, electromagnetic turbulence nasmentes bubbling, turbulent electromagnetism endless. Extend like spokes electrifying that paralyze the mind, have a light, black electrifying of flashes, flashing lights plaguing me the uninterrupted flow of current. The lights illuminate opaque outlandish beings in the dim light. Electrical wires run through my body vibrantecheipode energy. Rise and move towards the 10th circuit and there is a power failure, 'incorruptible even the dark there is a decrease electric power and fell on the words of ecstasy and sensations. Cut bright sharp and bright echoes, bright light grabbing voice breaking, dark lightning flashes where dark beings with errant eye orientation. There is a fluorescence and flourish and fall, not thunder in all directions and senses. The "ofuscul√™ncia" and these piercing lightning overshadow the pleasure of others feelings and perspectives. Glowing and intersecting arcs deep into your soul that hold the atoms, shock and dynamic glow. As a hint to me hammer the incongruity of the sentiments that appeal to a light strong and determined, in my absence twilight when I roll smoothly, acute at the lights of my being, I delight and gently like a thunderbolt. There is an ominous light, these lights convalescent threaten that torment us and let foresee the danger? There is a lamp, the light that follows you in moments of bucolic and unable to confront you intimacy in secrecy. There is a bright red light and blocking nerve accelerators. Shocks sails and minds of contaminants to spread without impulses, light company, which was not illuminated and not give the light feel of the company. Thunder crunch and shatter-thirsty pleasure noises. Lights powerful statement to condemn the lives of others by voices. How powerful rays and lacerating cutting ties impossible to tie the dim light in which overshadowed the awareness that penetrate bulky bundles. Intensely lit up the mists of black light in the cosmic light, a pervasive and deep cosmos which relieves the oblivion of the soul. Lightning heats and darkens and becomes still and silent, but range and noise when it happens is breathless and overwhelming that infects the rage to live and be present in other lamps and lighting or even simple but striking fleeting darkness of sighs and breaks silences the most electrifying. That lightning that you erase the issue of consciousness marked by groans and eloquent that precipitate action neglected sense of opportunity to stand still when they fell another lightning in this world. I remember the photo taken with my brother (now hanging in my room) and I ate at the place where the hosts of hell which I refer later. After the ashes of light, these ashes that mark you heat the irons fierce and strong of a hit are only contaminated by ash light of past and future ubiquitous not forget. Cut up the spur of the moment and spreads slowly tearing profusely and telling you controls you, and you throw into a pool of light that drowns in memory of the words incontinent and spilling their place of birth. In turmoil are the burning ashes of a magnetic body that flickers and hisses in your heart burning with desire for something manly and masculine or feminine and sexy then this affront dual personality that does not sag or to one side or the other. The ashes of light and heat the dark frivolous in their heat and have the protection of rain and eaten, that spread across continents and timeless space invades us and presents us with luxurious and gives insights into the many pleasures and depressing. The anxiety of the chemistry of pleasure sedentary but not encrusted, but printed on the naive side. Oblivious to the thrill of feeling and being, you feel bright and dazzling and relieves contractions felt by the excesses, excesses that we redirect them to another dimension, develops, feeds an addiction does not shy no bounces or runs up crazy hair denial. The light hypnotic and groping experience feelings felt in the face that promise to yield to the desire leads us to believe that there is dynamic and, for without it we are taken without credit debt, stagnant life as hypnotic transcendent beings who are caught in sources droughts, rave brow of indecency and idleness. Lead us to new challenges in the same thought in different reactions, these reactions sometimes unreasonable where we face with the pure desire to have, can be fed by it and not conducted as separate pieces of clay that come together when heated. 
My second recollection is just a picture dressed in a suit where I am in the same outfit from the first picture that is now in my room, I'm a√ßoreira on top of a car I remember falling down the stairs where my grandmother had some tapes used at the entrance to the flies. I remember to call my grandmother to the land of the land of the flies was much excitement when the donkeys or horses to pass. My father, who owns a blue car where he was born my second recall, was a datsun. My "old" used to tell a story, this story he said, between my grandmother and a donkey that does not comply, the old woman bit off his ear. Today after reading the story you will not fell him any teeth. I saw the breasts of my grandfather and was once the mirror was under the bed of my parents was that he had better play from childhood until the worst nightmare, nightmare I used to have a terrrivel down a stream and came in a pot, I think this may be the worst one can dream of that child and death in the end the death and just as immortal or die before that light which is divided between bodies disposed of motion and oscillates between two easy ways to illuminate, but without any life, subsists in bitterness and disappointment of hypnosis systemic that feeds and develops. Consciously, it is so intense that it is extinguished and there is even erased. Psychedelics loops intertwine in the noise of angry thunder that support and enhance the anomaly that arises from being covered by all this psychedelic thunderstorm. Well here it remains consistent with no powers or scales, the transfer would only be a pretext for the abnormality, thunder black, caged and emitting grunts strangest and most profound of the absorbance of the reason he goes out, and range shifts without the least secretive, seemingly in a world of psychedelic lighting that afflict those who want him to mislead or enjoy pleasures staggered prejudiced by the colors dyed oblique stagnant, with no intention of creating or mere indulgence. Imbued with the spirit of the fragments of thought, in fact fragmented are those who imagine another world, away from disturbances, such as when we scratch ourselves irritate the eye, or simply blink. This move alienated from other movement glows and spray away the minds and oblivious to the simple fact of what is being moved or shaken. Thunder is psychedelic and drive away spirits, without which they manifest and why are not there, is a parallel reality of rumors and intransigence as the bogeyman, and nobody here eats weird personalities and aliases of preexisting even in the absence of fact. Hence, all that is unreal is timeless story, but it does anything, afraid, afraid that we deport a horizon to 5 dimensions, polygons and linear, but not likely or even capable of any trait, this trait that represents the hemispheres apotheotic and transcendent thought. Not flower or grow in filaments of reason abstract ideas, but impulses are born characters ever seen, decorated movement imitation and appropriateness to the moment, but all made aware and minimally calculated. Without calculation is real and unpredictable so it is a genuine spontaneity that is absurd to think of anything. Creak and grind the heads of old and already vanishing in yellow 

leaves and eaten by bibli√≥fagos that without perseverance intimidate obsolete memory and made and counterfeited to its measure. Surrounded by measuring devices, welcome the rotulantes abexins and laugh at the thunder of the Abyssinian. - To exhort those who live in the light of the past, those dying of celestial bodies in addition to invade prominent that happens, the immediate. But all technical issues are, more or less intense, but are energy radiation that are not compatible with the past, even the moment before. Memories that emit harmful radiation so that it does not blind but any thought that wants to ignite at any moment, momentum or moment. For the past intersects with the present, moment, momentum, or the second tranche, but the influences are not always so in time for the powerful light is a pure stream of ecstasy that cuts like wind on your face, something hitherto deprived of intent and movement around the pleasure of doing or being, as what exists and the account of our being is the click, that by simply looking forward to the light of its past, more or less intense light, sweating from past lives, but not the principle guiding the movement triggered pulse remaining unmasked, in the second lived in the moment and those who simply do not crawl around lights of the past and who cling to anything. Well that is synonymous with pollution, radiation, no thanks! Hence, anything stronger than light at the moment, and be at all times with all his might, but nobody is better than anyone, is a question of fighting, and I do not come with these lights because everyone has innate, weary of will and imagination and pure energy development and creation, magic colors reflected in shades of yellow sun. In fact there is not much light, there are only pockets of remaining life and balanced way to objectify, which can not be seen. So there is not real, is the result of something that helps us raise awareness. But the ray that is consciousness? What is really conscious or unconscious? Here is one that assumes no barrier to materialize and that makes much sense to understand, we all headed for the moment. This to put preconceived barriers and say a current insurmountable when in fact there are no barriers in real!? Everything is imaginary so we all live in the same chain of illusions, the seat of other spirits that does not affect us because actually there, or in fact there is no barrier between the unconscious desire of the ever-present in the conscious and that we reserve for ourselves , only empty, but there are imaginary heavenly creatures living as they say in light of the past, the majority ruled that it had to have weight or measure, but then again who are they to interfere. There was and is to look at the days until he desbater nothing more natural than that light shining on it with pleasure that we conform. Conformance, adversity, conflict, serving as a mere indulgence accumulator conscious attitudes and problems but not as deep as they are so natural. Between natural and the transcendent there is no shock here that the minimum standard involves us and makes us feel at ease and quiet, everything is natural: air, joy that surrounds us, the one that hits and runs and especially touch, gentle touch for those who enjoying puffs of lightness. Energy managed in the nucleus, potent source radiates in transforming ourselves, psychological changes, let us consider this then hit by a nuclear power. This vibrant light grows in expectation be that in reality but does not suffer as a peacock that seeps in and seized impulses that lead us to act to act or not act, impulse, this dynamic and clear explosion. Hence us to take advantage of the pinnacle of his strength, are common agents that correct, pillars crumble because it is impossible to destabilize the power of transformation. And nothing stronger than being processed, this change in something that elevates and protects us from contamicao. I remember crying and not wanting to go to preschool the first day but especially after I enjoyed my friends, playing with my friends. It was normal kid in high causes illness FREB nightmare of custom, such as it was attached to some chains and descended into a fiery cauldron but delirium was thought to hell but suddenly woke up and was saved at the final count that stemmed. I know because I also learned to distinguish hot from cold, according to my brother who put a hand on it the second heater in the coldest part and he the hottest part, result: I just burned a right wrist that reminds me of the 666 or the mark of the beast out of curiosity my last phone ended in 666. - Something we will not stop if we want to continue, but why stop if it is action that takes place and generates emotions, sensations and stimuli, when someone responds and reacts, action my friends, patience and intelligence to understand the other being confrontational. Why let the negative energies paralyze us as if we were children with no response, courage, my dear, the word is that the order has to be judged and who will be the judge of reason, who will be the normal or abnormal, nobody! We all have faith and I have to give fezada cases of concern the wish and desire and this omniscient, but as a harp and alludes that eludes transmits sounds with echoes delusional mermaid. Nothing more than relaxing to hear listen twice as much as we speak and the silence is action, not naivete or lack of control, and few resist the silence-is to experience itself. It might even be torturous but will answer many questions both subjective and objective, the sociable silence is mute but can serve as the perfect weapon uncontrollable, impulsive and willing to sequeciosos, those who can not control. Calm down and listen, listen to the silence within you. 
I once caught a bird tied him to a wire iron an ironing board would give him food, water ... And died that day my living toy. My first play the game of picking the wrong result have my brother behind me so that I hurried to that "corner" where he cracked his head until the whitish tissue that was watching. I walked about 4 km to climb the mountain and the smoke kentucky to $ 12.50 at these meetings a friend of mine ate lamps, glasses, which appeared, the circus had passed recently in the village. My first exercise in exhibitionism cyclists was longer my brother, the two failed to pass just about bricks and taken by him to the hospital. Almost at the same time took a ferradela of a bitch pregnant and after the theft of marbles that I have involved my brother avenging me of the burglar who was later to be my friend and brother who had the craziest of the earth. This friend was not invited to my birthday but was keen to offer me my first lego single and in life. Days before the 1st communion went with a friend at the local community center and steal the sin hosts. It was only the beginning. Then I started to play hide and seek and so it hid from my mother's best friend leaving him alone in the house after knowing that he was terrified and calling for us there we open the door. With his friends were playing with bikes, cars, marbles, and we liked adventure ... Eventually happen one day going to sing the janeiras the day of kings and getting some cash ganta it right away I remember offering sausages and other smoked, we were in third grade and though the teacher was replaced, the schoolyard was works with sand hills and holes, but I ventured, when I came into the room and went for the first time for such audacity "to take a ruler" I dared and took her hand before the teacher hit me, the second in front of students and pretended to forgive . In the 4th year sold my colleagues covers collections of his father, as these supplements coming out in today's newspapers. I remember the first wizard aa where my mother took me and my father and my brother and I saw the wizard you touch them in the genitals to me he did not dare and I threw him the hatred that was the first in disgust life. I am a native over my cousin and my brother and he gets one of the first lp of Pink Floyd - The Wall, Primac cool. 
Remember the 1st May 1986 the communion in the church of ash sword at his side, was already an intense walk with tight shoes. Time to leave for the county of Estarreja back let friends and acquaintances, I conceal my departure at all with the benefit of leaving a little before the school year the 4th year being offset by a subsequent letter from the teacher who expressed his astonishment at my silence. When I arrived at the county Estarreja Pardilh√≥ I moved to where I spent a few months, begun here my day-to-day, I know that at the time what we now call it bullying I was the victim and feared, feared even while traveling from home to the school bus, which had had a taste of "watering the soup! The 1st job that I remember was the car wash to my father and spending bill now on the typewriter and he paid me. I arrived at 5 years with a special permit or a signed waiver by my guardian to enter the 5th year in school c + s advanced they still lacked the minimum age. - Reached only toilet paper roll and smoked-came to wish that everyone would stop in time for me to enjoy a bank robbery, etc ... But this year I get my first degree in which he mentions that the student participated in the 1988/89 school cross country running in 15th place, not bad for anyone who has not grown, has also felt grown to jump the net and go buy cigarettes. - Rode a bicycle without brakes and spent the soles of my sneakers at the beginning of smoking seriously I owe a sg giant neighbor to the best tavern early estarrejae preferred the buffet and not eat in the canteen. I remember the 1st rite funeral I attended was my parakeet to this poor guy had been cut the wings ... He had been playing in the backyard and climbed a medlar tree when I jumped to the ground, trampled the parakeet! Here begin my sequels, even fell asleep crying over losing that animal, I ended up joining a mosaic and there he did the burial. All very well not be a cat the next day go get him! Result of this story ends with a dog who had asked for Christmas gift but was found as a stray at the door of my house, we welcome this "teko" and just being instructed to attack the cat question, just my teko for killing the cat. I even hit a stone on a lighter out of curiosity and it broke out. 
In my early working days, divvertia me in the bakery where he worked, who scolded ... Used to take the newspaper to the bathroom to read and smoked a cigarette or two but at the time not to be caught by my brother and my sister arrived with the fear of throwing the packet out the window in the car. 
I had an experience with Shadow Wolf: I was lost but found. Protected, but only by choice. Feed your dexterity of solid chemicals and essential water. In the purity of their own "shadow" for adventure dives and had a touchdown, Caricuao. As the wolf was protected, but by attitude alone, plunged in solitude apparent. Today I write as a wolf Caricuao, face their world and interpret it. Friend does not live independently without their wild nature, but a real newbie charitable life, an embryo in Caricuao where I graduated as a young blood has loyal, honest, above all, a fearless nature, fierce in its essence but fair and respectful of your friend companion and friend. So faithful traveling companion and always interpreted with care complicity and silence. I lived a little to get to know the shadows of Caricuao "streets" and company. But I saw courage in the wolf and he established link confidant and statutory change as to its freedom. One thing that the wolf had was freedom, he was, lonely, lonely! And free! Shadow Wolf shimmering energy extra-human in their way of being. With his barking imposed on its independence from the wild nature of genes. I decided to share their spiritual cod, wolf alone with the supper, or rather shadow wolf Caricuao that while connected by a single dish free in unison fraternal sharing also their drink. We are alone by choice? Sure! We are free to think about how nature shapes us. It was a present for me this Christmas, Caricuao wolf, but he wild for inborn genetic environment is driven by their chromosomes to the sensation of a pure state free of its own nature. Enigmatic as the way of life but powered home to live and enjoy your lonely side but free of any restriction or imposition. Shadow wolf and I are friends, as it is uncharacteristic act of unconventional coercion of others, we free the hands of mother nature and so what we have grown and induced in infiltram.havana club is at the heart of the madness of the same seat of revolution, we take account of our being here is free but a covenant of collaboration with solitary animal instinct.
When I was younger my grandmother called bushmaster, one day playing football the teko I had jumped what seemed like 30 inches because it was low and fell 2 feet tall, I was running to call my parents when there I got the small pequenois had survived for Christmas were my grandparents home, got into an argument with my parents and even said to my grandmother before she died that dog. I come to the village where I am today Estarreja city and start to attend the 6th year in school Donaciano, here I met my great passion for teen who would mark me throughout my youth. I came to be more than 10 minutes standing there looking at my father's mistress, and thought, thought that at least she made a noise would have some problems. 
I always liked my brother but he once beat me with his fist and struck the identity of my father when he ran into the street in pajamas Pardilh√≥, county Estarreja and ended up in the backyard near the brambles. Until I had to put makeup on output due to the usual Sunday marks on his face. He had no brakes and spent to stop the slippers, I sold the bike on which he walked without tires offer just the rim of my grandfather and sold it to the weight where I made $ 300 for it. At this school with just two negatives, one mathematics to other crafts, I had never realized that was so bad in the crafts. Naturally embraced by society and their customs in early 1989 to play football to finish this career in 1998 as an athlete's sports club in Estarreja, as I started practicing football as tip-coming striker to score a goal in three of my long career, but it was a training game against Ovarense. Then as he grew up going backwards in the position of center forward, I traveled to far-left, then to right middle, then the average center to get protection in central and libero positions. It was known at the end of my career as an athlete of an anti-fair play evident, even from registering the 2nd goal scored in the day that I ask the coach to be the team captain and play center midfield in that game scored a goal I made a difference and the distance traveled through the field to the opposing goal by making a "panties" to the goalkeeper. Meant to take pins to football games in order to make the plays in the field. 
In 1990/91 I attended the 7th grade in middle school Estarreja, I was not well integrated in this school for being a rebel and went the story that one day I masturbated in the classroom, being dubbed by history professor and holder of the Patriot missile - this time in the war in Iraq, inevitably disapprove of negative 4 years. What hurt me most was the Portuguese, and it was the first one on my schooling. I decided to return to school had made advances, whose grade 5. After the academic year 1991/92 School Year 7 + c s hurtled towards being dubbed the "AIDS" among colleagues, I even had a reputation for misbehaving in school but the successes would allow me a passing grade, since the then when confronted about why she came from Estarreja to advance said to have been expelled from school Estarreja. Punctured low-density floppy disks for double the capacity of those he did it with a manual drill, came to go to school to advance in Estarreja "bicycle, even purposely go after ovar, stealing candy and gum to the hypermarket. The best game I've done throughout my career was after a direct and was against the seaside club until the van came to fetch me home. I put a fly in a butter sandwich with a friend called "minette", the first porno I saw amazed me, a woman had dick and tits at the same time something that made him think, another era of snakes and eels, scenes from my father ... Among the trips Estarreja and advances of the pass had to make but cp as tobacco addiction is beginning to aggravate, rather than buying the pass ... I was already a stage only to hitchhiking to get change for tobacco and went to the bakery to eat half regueifa drink a liter of beer at half with colleagues. In my grandfather's house shot from an airgun and lead it backfired and nearly hit me and I heard the hum of the projectile. Once I went to a birthday party, already with the mania of drugs burned a black gum and was doing in their own party after believing that it was hashish. Before going to train my friends called the house and stole bottles of champagne and drank to my father before training came several times to be expelled. One day one of these friends got drunk that such had to be hospitalized. His father came to call my doing queixa.no within the football club had a special training, this was our opponent's team selection of Aveiro in search of new talent. I accomplished a great workout and that was when I put the train on the same selection Aveiro and got a placement. Football Association of Aveiro 91/92 season playing as a striker, tilts down to the left, was a substitute for a player who later went to fc Porto. On 11 - 07-1992 selecting sub-13 would have a meeting in which they faced the choice of the selection of Aveiro Leiria ending the season 91-92, was here in this game that I had my chance and went in the second part as reported by the Daily Aveiro, Tuesday, July 14, 1992 - Aveiro, 2 - Leiria, a "game in the field of sports complex s. Jacinto. "The return of the resorts, the selection Aveiro took the field with another determination. Unlike the first part where the leirienses dominated, aveiro proceeded to take account of the game and exploring the best defense of the adversary, gave a "face" of the result. He reached the goal of the tie, by filipe Moorish arch who shot to the back of the goal. " I do not know what he was doing in that game, I remember having had very little to the point of not picking up the balls, it was either too slow or was very fast, but in the end there I scored what would be the 3rd goal of my football career, this year there was no inter tournament teams for financial reasons, you could have evolved more? You never know. Come the 1992/93 academic year where I attended the 8th grade in school c + s advances and smoked all intervals, it was a rebel with deviant behavior. She told a friend who was in military school, I got to get inside a classroom in support of French with a toilet seat on his head saying he was lord toilet, had no courage to face the eyes of my father until the first hospitalization, chewed herbs before entering the house after football practice first and last time he took punches, threw in a training started, "I took one and assaulted him and told him to wait for me outside it still took more, and he waited ... Even my head was against the tar he was nicknamed the "Pardilhó. I have the first club in my attic giving it the name ku *. - Climbed through a skylight at the top of the building and came to have blankets on the roof among other things, with my friends smoked it several times with my friend mary got me to the brink of bounds near a chimney, he left an owl I was off balance and causing me to almost fall off the roof. The blue ray blue ray invades infuriated me be resplendent with energy that flows into the pores of dirty prejudice and intolerance that this blue ray will hit. The light produced by all beings curls in a shameless tricks are not difficult to convoluted artificialities innocuous. This laser light is invisible so pervasive and penetrates to the unseen and undetected. It is a light seer and teacher assumptions and crossroads outside the seer himself. Inconspicuous and innocuous prorovoca through its beam a Suction poisonous thoughts and preconceived ideas to their own poison and antídoto.luz your attic, this smoke that the light pierces the mind of memories shrouded in rags in broken heads without direction and action, action this motor that cools the frenetic level of thought and slowness of mass mind uncoordinated. Penetrating the idle time is enthusiastic and is distributed by the lights and exciting in brain electrical stimulation wandering. Intensifies in body mass and paralyzing hiptonizadora as one will set in rhyming gibberish.

These lights come in the attic any head-end engineering. "Some people have monkeys, others only attics! "Other lamps that obscure the main entrance, I wish to penetrate the attic of memories, thoughts, short lived lives without great causes but with many memories. Memories are those that illuminate the mind to always open or closed in trunks ... Fetched from VHS tapes and having no money to pay the rent on time spreading and increasing Adiva rarely slept thinking about what it should. I even have the tapes months to accumulate. In 1993 I began to want to take my money and decided to go to work after a call to a game room. At the time he was 15 years old and had already seen a lot of authority that held the order of space and prohibiting those under 16 from entering. Came the first contact with hashish and that has proved to be the ultimate consumption over the next 17 years. In this environment I came into contact with other realities, but always refused and denied the use of heroin and cocaine, making it know that I did throughout my life was not with the intent or purpose or I may have been "mined" but never consumed . He was unfit for consumption and attitudes was already a famous "artist" being the presenter of the festival's final school year of the finalists for the 9th year em1993/1994. 
Generator, generator or generator love love what fuels this carnal desire not virtual, and this emotional link kissing transparent and thirsty for something vital to the development of energy ties emotive and trams. This generator feeds egos and personalities with hidden faces daily as the representation takes on the breakfast or dinner, or water that feeds the energy of the day to day. Without masks or agonizing thoughts, enquadramo us in reality the power of love or love the energy of electric and sharp glares and representative of love and loneliness that lives fueled by a cable that never shuts down, an energy incorruptible, but true, always! Always thirsty electrifying look of desire and some patience invented by the monotony of days and oblique face that nothing in this account through electrical wires are loose. Adventure up the imagination of the motor and innate realities but cleared of choking with instant contact. Contact indispensable to life motor, motor, that the consensus reality of being and not being there, but oblivious to other realities almost imperceptible to the conscious desire, but there it is! There is always this sense of opportunity in the immediate future, so the media can not be watery, if not slide in the thoughts of love generator means and resources available and how to love and generator is always on the lookout for other means not virtual and controlled this very being of condescend, then it can not divest themselves of the pleasure it generates, and proliferates in these ever-present faces of the piece of soul you always wanted to stifle. Because you can not sell any piece, as energy is one and multicultural in its sense of satisfaction, satisfaction, developing several realities, because we are imaginary and virtual, only the presence of others or on the mirror to hide the new energy regulator in the spirit of neutrons, that those are the real animals of light. Dragons lights can light up, and this current that runs through us and revitalize daily give us strength and mimicry of gleaming errant beings, yes! Errant because it can stand the force of light or convalescent sick and oppression that affront to reality dualistic and oppressive. Do not weigh upon this stream of negative poles who infiltrate deep pain and reducing the subconscious personality negativistic criticism, but the feed yourself positive and transcendent reality of chemical and chemical anti circuit feeds the spirit of innovation and achievement, this realization that is not transferable as feeders frantic race towards any pleasure, but that draws the mind to the waves of thought and this transmission. The transmission of thoughts is real and develops circuits and nobody can deny that these circuits have current spreads in the air of timeless sensations and pleasures oppressed because we are all starting to beta-blockers, but external stimuli that enhance our thirst for living. These pulses therefore affect our reasoning and sometimes conflicts occur or develop in thought, but that can bring happiness, that the excitation of protons will lead to external reality. Blue light triggered strong emotions blue light that goes through bridges and ladders and infiltrating the feelings of power that feeds on developing this potential with its witty host beam where ultra sensitive to the beauty of friendship eloquent transparency of wishing for something "blue" stronger, more intense, and develops in us constellations with feeling and profound ramifications of being alienated in this wave Hertzian. This power affects oblique minds bereft of feeling of living, turquoise affecting deep and lasting friendship, he carries in itself magical beams of madness and delight lovers of rare beauty and invigorating. Twilight of the intensity in the filaments, it develops and transmits energy and warm protective evils and pleasures with agony and silence, there is not a mask that eludes us and alludes to the abstract thought, but rather a strong light and intensifying pleasure real and imaginary, but it affects and who it affects always be transported and run out of bounds for the intrinsic and lasting friendship. She falls in love and almost bereft of reason but which serves food to the excitement, come and bring pleasure and delight of lust, that pleasure is all calories and invades a frenzy of excitement this primary color that lies down and rolls clasp the accumulation of energies which were empty over time but that does not disappear in the future present, that is always present, protective, does not allow us to evolve the level of uncontrollable pleasure brilliant. 
In 1994 I started learning electrician and along comes a nickname as I still am known by some as the "Faiska" because it got a shock on a loose thread and in the end there was no electrical power. I went to the night and on the first trip to the disco eclipse in 1994, I became the "catch-cups" I still remember that day you have made a breathalyser test and the result before you start to office was over 2.0. This night was fantastic, I just grabbed all the bottles of the club and be carried by one of the managers at home with his head out, and there left me at home, was a marvel, this summer of last year's eclipse as a bartender get to the final shot'sea replace bartenders doing the middle of the night who have not stand. I left to move forward and get ovar, I joined the academic year 1994/95 in year 10 area school sports fragateiro Jos√© Macedo, was always the worst level of ed. Physics and sport it also was due to my bad behavior, I even have a medical certificate at the time of swim practice meant an allergic reaction to chlorine, but what I did not know how to swim! He had a football team that was called "les bufons" or peidolas and they got the funds in the commercial angrariar Estarreja. With the drinking made me go through the pj in Aveiro with another friend, was global stage before the tests in the secondary where submarines' mixture of beer and cake became in jest. 
In the journey of the finalists in Bayou exit super market with the affection born of beers which led him to an apartment where we met We said flat bottom of the empty bottles. On the occasion of the birthday of my girlfriend at the time I got drunk furadouro so I just fell asleep at the table I had only been agreed soup and when I vomited at the dinner table after they gave me a ride home and I wanted to be a party and not at home. In my eighteen saw the movie thought tranpotting always great fun because of man diving into a toilet and a sea of ‚Äč‚Äčturds and often the conversation with my grandfather liked to talk about what comes out of me that is the only shit that is cagalhao ETA of my secondary that did the same bullying older they were even threatening, in celebration of my brother's wedding with three bottles of rum and many shots and grabbed the blinds this morning to throw up. I became a champion for the team nicknamed the "Chechens" in the football tournament and I continued my progress in 1995/96 already in 11th grade school jos√© macedo fragateiro obtained the transition to year 12 but with mathematics and physical chemistry back, never able to recover. I jumped out the window of a classroom and walked through the door saying he had gone to the bathroom the teacher who was the class director said he would tell my parents and I prayed that he had problems at home. However rode the running and I complained a lot of muscle and I later came to be operated in the case of a hernia in the year 1996/97, one year after failing to looming military service to which the military inspection consider me unfit , complained to me that I could not run because my legs ached. He made friends with the tri-turbos or joints of three filters. Provoking situations of bullying influence the group "back" of the school were those who nicknamed eta. Meetings promoted to 4 and 5 people in the city of ovar at lunchtime, real attacks on freedom of expression and guests who gathered with my best ally nuno coagiamos groups in gender usual. Declaration hall Estarreja, I'm copying: he served as a monitor in occupational program for children in the 1st cycle of basic education "active holidays" during the months of July, August and September 1997. "More states that the services provided have been widely recognized and praised, both by interest and commitment shown, either by merit of his work. In santar√©m after saying it would expose the house went to some friends coming to give a fart and smudging me all the boxers having thrown out the window repeated in the year 1997/1998 the 12th grade where I am reproached for their dedication to the faults association of students who started driving this year. The waiting and he rode well wishing, wanting jumping, skipping and smoking was walking without travel destination Anxiety, varies with age although it is always live so very anxious waiting for something, you always want something, all in the stands as we will own involuntariamente.nesse years prepared the following proposal election: it is with great determination and sense of responsibility that we contest these elections to the association of secondary school students fragateiro Joseph Macedo. We aim to promote cultural and recreational activities in order to dignify this school, it badly needs to assert itself both internally and externally. To achieve this goal we suggest: - making a prom-promoting sporting and cultural days allocated to the entire student population, including a week of youth soccer tournaments, basketball and volleyball (masc. / fem.) .- Elaborate discussions monthly, with the aim of educating and informing students about the problems of society, encourage the creation of a school newspaper - training-associated acquisition of a billiard table football - completion of the week the youth, with various activities - establish contact with "average" in order to publicize the activities of our school, and in particular the initiatives of the student association. "count on your vote" list - this is your membership list - we face for distributing campaign voc√™s.na condoms by students and kept contact with the health center for the forthcoming debates that do not come to realize why the health center wanted the students to stay private lessons assistir.sob the campaign slogan, "give the guy for you! "" follow our steps, "and even" plays our music, "with posters of the socialist party that supported this campaign by providing the venue wanted a contrast, ie campaigner for the party, the chips of a militant were distributed but not even a militant political force that won our association. For other projects, the executive board Buy billiard table football and gets half of that cost 20 shields each game. On the day of inauguration and I quote: following the election took place in the last days between January 14, 1998 10 and 20 hours. Participated in two lists, a and b whose representatives are listed in the application process, noting that the act took place within the normal range. Following the closing of the polls, where 740 students voted, we proceeded to count the votos.obtendo the following results: ten white votes invalid votes-fifteen-five hundred and seven votes list-two hundred and eight votes according to the list b the voting lists was the winner in the first round absolute possession was granted by the association elected the following year that provides an assessment of the association over the school year nineteen hundred and ninety-seven. After this presentation there is no surplus. 
It should also be noted that the previous association has in its heritage a desk, a metal cabinet, a chair, a bench and two games of chess (incomplete). And nothing else to add closed session from which these minutes were drawn after that deal will be signed and approved by members presentes.dias campaign comes after an anonymous complaint to move the school where I was nicknamed the Lion King and Al Capone because sometimes made me go through such characters in the classes, the thing complicates up to my side because it was also seen by the executive board as a consumer of hashish and a second school psychologist the ringleader. At the end of 1998 to psp ovar open inquiry and police investigation is reportedly the anonymous complaint of child I was mayor of Estarreja and was the head of a trafficking network. He had just finished smoking a joint when I entered the premises of the cops, I denied it consumed and had tried and had not liked it since then had no more contact or information on my interrogation at the police station that ovar. This year on prom fall suspicions and allegations of non-payment of that dinner, something immoral because it was paid in the following days with # 1 Working from my best friend at the time, the list has applied the following year she was afraid that we do not we paid for dinner, something that was made, rumors. In January 1998 I am invited to a week of education, brought memories of his exa. Jorge Sampaio President of the republic which has provided a picture with the dedication "to the group of Aveiro, in particular in e Joseph Macedo fragateiro the school with a friendly hug "Education Week January 24, 1998 - President of the Republic, had lunch standing in the museum where the electricity greeted the President. That same year, comes the opportunity to work at a nightclub in pildrinha furadouro, there as a bartender entertained guests with bottles and juggling tricks, they do remember the movie "cocktail" was a night I blotted and all had the feeling that the club had burned up believing it even after when I am awake all smudged the underwear shoot through the window, fall upon an umbrella of a cafe, days after the mother is a friend of mine to return the already washed underwear saying that maybe had fallen from above. It was common to drink two bottles of absinthe a golden strike along with my partner. Until I'm at a party to serve a customer in front of the boss and start to fill the glasses spreading the liquid around the counter and was immediately fired. In short he was a manager of a client and I served them two shots are throwing everything he told me Get out here and today more than ever talked to this man. I attended a wedding of my brother's best friend, I smoked weed in the bathroom and I got drunk so much that I put on the table and made a shoe phone. The night always accompanied by glasses and consuming hashish used to write the formula of Einstein on the cover of the 1998-1999 school monho bar - bartender was here a few months to serve cups. Realized a final party of 2nd period, as usual rival nightclub phoenix he struck 900 people, at the first party of 700 people monho hit against almost 200 other people at the party rival, was a success. After the party took all the elements of the association by paying out to dinner the owner of monho not giving this dinner, no more money for the party. This year I started my employee discount as the philips factory worker where I worked two months with almost two weeks of absences. At that time got a job at Unitec / Quimigal. I was bartender / entertainer with my juggling tricks at the disco Dacascos was here that consumed my first "insert" participating in two days and took in different halves seemed that nothing I did was to speed the body, such as defoliate an entire magazine and not read anything or get home and put music and failing to keep pace. It was the first and only experience with these substances. At the disco Dacascos public relations and security when they picked me for one more day at work told me that I the day before with my juggling bottles and had hit on the head of a client who had gone to the hospital exiting news in the newspaper after all it was all a lie and I had believed. For a delay of 3 hours I was with a girlfriend and I get there pick up cups and replaced by fired on the spot. Opened a new bar where I was in Estarreja in the 1998/99 year as a bartender / bar porter heroes, one of those nights borrow a book on "the doors" and killed the "American" convoy was collected by him and my book. I even make a deposit of $ 100 in order to raise $ 1,000 for 2 years ... as a janitor and even burnt the door with petrol bike but never provoked even got involved with anyone. Organize a New Year 1998/1999 in the bar organization Faiska heroes & friends call all their friends to the New Year. Mando all customers leave the pub before midnight and ended up closing the bar and the New Year. I go to the bar ovar stones where I am assaulted by advertising within the establishment to another event, lodged a complaint with the police and they go to a bar where they are told that walked ashtrays from inside, pure lie. I even go to the prosecutor but did not give sequence to the case for lack of witnesses. New Year's Eve of 98/99 - heroes of the bar av. Viscount Salreu Estarreja rode a program in which: the 12 strokes in one night [days and] ... dj's on resident control sergius guest dj Vitinho and incognito. In the middle of the party and in order for me to go home to dress for the party and my friends show up, put away all the customers of the bar that night where he was porter at the end of the year. In my thoughts I question the order of the alphabet and come to think that the ab or abba were very forward thinking to create a security system for men type blink or touch and feel each other and walking speed in all to see who was ill or suffering and help. I watch television and I think the footnotes contain messages to my mind I see the channel ftv and I think that day will receive the Nobel Prize. I have thought being given to eat human organs and it was a food store to the pound that day thought the broken glass on the street were diamonds, was watching the movie snatch / pigs and diamonds in the cinema when I think aveiro be the actor of the film, beginning to take off their shoes and enter and leave the theater, it was my movie. Estarreja ran as an act of ultimate freedom to near the river and think of climbing the trees, using meth body in the river and I think I am a genius and that Mr.. President of the republic is to watch me, I have contacts with the cows that were grazing and try to communicate to them my thoughts. I think they are stealing the ideas and I want to do bad things start to feel weird, to isolate myself, doing things like turning the whole room, reading books on psychology to realize what was happening to me, I started delirium, delusions of persecution, or who was being monitored and controlled either by television or the newspapers of the day, come to think that my father would buy me a bar, and that was the world's largest, was only taking the odd things my parents to be seriously concerned, this general hubbub gnr someone calls and firefighters still transport me to the hospital which ran adrift hours walking until I found the military gnr which I say: "we were actually looking for you" I am taken to the hospital in Aveiro, subsequent to the psychiatric emergency Coimbatore. Driven by firefighters strapped to a gurney after the conversation I'm thinking I'll take an injection and I will have with the girls after talks with the chief of psychiatry, but only took the injection ... When I wake up I'm in a room of the psychiatric ward!? Flee, I took a taxi and went to the Coimbatore Estarreja where he said the taxi driver to wait and went to tell my mother ... The next day I had to take a tablet sent by psychiatrists not knowing it was purposeful to feel bad, asking to take me to the hospital, stayed over 20 days under the regime of physical restraint that is tied with a belt to bed! Estarreja welcome the Intermarch√© seemed to me an invitation to enter a nearby house, came into the garden they thought I was a thief and even managed to make a complaint but then gnr said he was even looking for me and took me to the hospital. The HUC - University Hospitals of Coimbra second bulletin hospital - psychiatric service men - this patient was admitted to hospital and discharged 03/01/1999 02/15/1999 - ordinary illness. At the hospital in Coimbatore received the first number of very interesting in which he was the man to turn over the papers and the name sparks. He participated in football tournament held in psychiatric service - men HUC February 11, 1999 in Coimbatore am approached by the chief psychiatrist who smoked gray to me and put a plastic cup and deceived me saying he would succeed, women and travel, when the nurse comes in late and I thought to myself going to take me to some party and will be ftv sex only when the end was a shot that took the next day when I wake I find myself in a room I know where it came from, I left the confines of Hospital going towards the passing cars and houses illuminated contained movement that is where the police were thinking that interact with me, I ended up being taken home by a man who went by car and saw me in my pajamas, and asked him to let go that would give the disclaimer to sign, a fact ignored by the entire medical team even though I am of legal age. The output from there is compared to an earthquake in social life, being weakened in the next few years, I have fears such as: go to the cafe, fearing that the cup fell and people started to mention my name. 
As the 3rd clerk in 1999 was the delivery of mail and registration of licenses at the time discolor the hair, distributing the mail car without even a letter, within the perimeter of the factory where it was moving at 30km / h, wanted to feel the first time a car coming to have an accident leaving the bumper and I had to justify. 

I do not sleep because I do not want to sleep but living here is a hurdle that keeps me awake I face it with sleeplessness. 
I enrolled in private school Lu√≠s de Cam√Ķes, the Portuguese asked for an equivalence of 11 values ‚Äč‚Äčand retraced the route by credit units of secondary education. Ipj statement, he served as animator of information, a scholarship of 01 March 1999 to February 5, 2000 went to schools advertising for healthy behaviors for youth. I begin to see online pornography and have contact with chats. "In carrying out its functions was interested and dynamic performing its duties properly, including the service to users, the dissemination of information of interest to young people, the updating of information support and contact with the Portuguese Institute of Youth , Aveiro, March 9, 2000. I went to Tenerife in the last days alone start thinking about the woman of my life and write three postcards with the name Rachel s.mamede - bombarral Portugal and last day I get a call from her in a bad mood simulate reservoir along with a girlfriend at the time I have at the apartment to be with Rachel and a few hours ago I find myself with the ex girlfriend to put a spoon in the fixed ring and see a friend of mine jumping from one balcony to another telling me that the former is well past time she jumped and come to me I ran to the living room and hid myself under the sheets of my best friend at the time and she asked where was Philip and I left the sheets and said I'm here she fled the apartment I chased through the streets coming to give him a trick for staying calm her down. Can the secondary school diploma 1999/2000 applicant with a final grade of 16 points - ovar December 11, 2000, did a survey in the interdisciplinary area and collusion in the middle left out here then I surrender to another teacher, spent two days going to your office apologizing for the lack of honesty makes the teacher assigns the new exam and score of 20, the highest grade teacher was the usual 16 points. I got the notes of the 11 Portuguese, 15 in English, the French 15, 17 to interdisciplinary area, 18 to 18 to computer science and philosophy, copying in the examinations thereby obtaining approval for the course. While studying I worked in the hotel half moon was official, the job category of "intern receiving the 2nd year" since the day February 8, 2000 until May 31, 2000 "acquired knowledge in this hotel in sections reception / concierge and bar. Demonstrated throughout this period great capacity to learn, unusual dedication and sense of responsibility. We applaud their willingness and their relationship with us. Ovar 28/07/00.aqui slept in the hotel rooms, had parties at the bar and went to the pool in the absence of those responsible. Had disciplinary proceedings for assault on fellow bar because it made me feel lessened because he knew that he had been hospitalized in psychiatry. Then I went to Lisbon and got a job as a bartender in a caf√© in the shopping center was imaviz the year 2000 had a habit of attending a disco at the mall where I danced until the wee hours imagining myself the best dancer at the time had with me a bottle popper'so which inhaled before entering the job he liked to smell and look to the sky in front of the hotel sheraton, this bottle was my 2nd experience with chemicals, but one went back to do it no more I tried this in my life . Paticipei staff in Estarreja Carnival 2001 - Carnival or nothing! Carnival or nothing!. Declaration of ovar town hall - a division of culture, heritage and library. States that he served in administrative assistant in the regime of fixed-term contract, between August 6, 2001 to May 30, 2002, the services of public attendance at the public library of the museum and ovar Julio Dinis - a house Ovarense "which he did with great sense of responsibility and commitment" documents had disappeared from the library and did the recording of "hopeless cases" 2001 - gnr hospital between Leiria Leiria and the battle there is a complaint by radio from a trucker who was going to disrupt traffic , bt is called to the scene to tow the car after say there is no penalty, call for reinforcements and take me to the hospital handcuffed to Leiria. In Caldas da Rainha thought see snipers and people who watched the windows 26/11 to 07/12, 2000, d. infant in hospital Peter 2001 - I am without a license by DGV return home with the vehicle without a license but has never come back and get the drive letter of the court penalizing me with a very serious infringement fine (no minimum) period of cancellation 30 days, I take the DGV letter that will get it out and tell others because of that law of conductor to be less than 2 years. I even roll my room and thinking that had cameras filming me and I was being watched by spies. In Leiria think interpol rode to work with me since I put 5.01 cent. Gasoline and paying ‚ā¨ 5 thinking that he had discovered the formula to win and become a millionaire. In those days I thought it was Russian spies under the car. I think I'm magical and I'm controlling the car with the mind and brain of the car glued to the machine at a constant speed which makes me venture to the road in his underwear with a bouncing ball to venture me that ball was thrown Caldas da Rainha and hit the ground in front of the court and went to his roof. I am challenged by the brigade's command gnr b5 considered regions of Coimbra and Aveiro beginning to have ideas of persecution and newspapers in the lap car being towed by order of bt leiria. Liscont Statement - operators of container, with the category of worker practicing in the administrative area. During moments lay me in the bathroom Liscont, I had two months without smoking hashish and when I hurt my head off the problems started with an early departure Liscont deep love, the love was felt also been forgotten in the bottom half lived and lost sorry . Traveled under the clouds flew under the heavens was the planets Mars and Jupiter in on Mars, I decided to love you and wanted to Jupiter 've my being here, flying from planet to planet pen was no power, there was energy, joy was something that conveyed the love-shaped flower. Had the force of the sun, moved like sunflower, had willingly in constant search of something burning was a dream, an accomplishment, a goal, all with passion, without size was great, amazing last very loving. I looked out the window on the horizon I noticed his eyes looked across the hill I saw your star, was brilliant sparkling lifted my gaze I saw the moon was mine and yours was a landscape, a journey via you to travel over land and under the sea, followed up winning We traveled over land and under the sea was only the luar.tinha that nostalgia, of wanting, wishing, loving, thinking, feeling. I'm missing you and is wanting to have you here, you want the meeting to love you, always thinking of you and feel your presence, and I miss being there without you, think, want, feel you and love you without see you, wish you with all 5 senses: sight that sees you without being, without smell smell you, hear you and not make noise, delighting taste without taste and touch you without touching you. A reminder for you that I suffered, felt, loved, lived, never loved another I kissed in thee, I saw, I got the love that you are always remember. May 30, 2003, marriage - love mr philip Moorish June 2 lisbon - madrid madrid madrid havana lisbon June 9 June 10, 2003 go to cuba and havana buy $ 100 of marijuana that actually sucks. I was 4 months without smoking joints before joining, then smoked and it hurt my head was the beginning of the intrigue with his boss and ended up in sick and go seek employment. Faculty of Letters slept in classrooms and smoked my joints. Town Hall Library lisbon orlando Brook frightened by contact with the latest create the phobia of doing business with them, worked one month saying good-bye. Following want to clarify some issues with the technique above, I say I quit and present sick - I sent a letter to the President of isel with the discrimination of particular facts can not go into the bathroom and leave cheese in the toaster, got out .. . Wrote lives dissatisfaction with satisfaction on a postcard of the ctt and sent myself to receive it. Sending a letter to the President of the Republic of realizing my last 8 years. Unemployment, social security contact the store to the citizen of Lisbon that tells me I have no right to unemployment benefit when they actually had to argue with mother and wife and I go by train to nose with the idea of ‚Äč‚Äčgoing to catch a plane to luxembourg to talk with Barroso in the European Union in order to give me this job. The highlights just a moment, a moment that your thoughts come, probably not all exist only as virtuous image but in terms of appearance or a state, the brain does not die when they cease all physical existence, and suddenly everything fades or may lead. 
I heard voices saying that the command to kill myself, moments before had told my wife it was a "hacker" who had the profession, wrote a paper saying that I always loved the supermarket to buy two bottles of bitter almonds and drank it all together with multiple tablets. My wife when he entered and found himself hugging with that situation called for firefighters inem arrived shortly after and gave me olive oil when I'm in a diaper according to the hospital. Days later told my neighbors that had been a drug interaaccao reached me to say a cafe close to the cafes that would not be taking 02/2007 1st suicide attempt. 
If evaporated to me if my soul, nothing left but rubble secret, outside the fantasy. In a subversion emerged, floats to idle a moment longer, particularly. The absence, if I played and see your world, would be unclean, without a touch of sensitivity change, at least believe that anyone beyond my reality. My sadness is simple as all the happiness attainable and unattainable. By magic, without irony in a day you say, sounds and feels to me like you look at me and see who I am not and never felt that much pain, wanting nothing more, dying for you by me for you I wrote that I suffered for so and never died and you'll never feel lost only to yourself in a fiery match the pain that burns in me when everything closes burn. Never took you out, in fact I would say that you suffer because you never left you and know that I loved you and always love you. It is treated in the hospital and curry cabral where he was in "coma" and is awake and sees only a diaper, can not remember the conversation with the psychiatrist who however gives me release order after signing the waiver. - Thought about shooting animals from the windows of the floors and had thoughts of killing people or destroying disturbances felt amazing cuts and lacerations on the body moods very disturbing and emotionally stirred a desire, I beg you give me a kiss like the ones you know? Give me a kiss hidden, as those who robbed one another when the desire grew gives me a kiss, soft, of those, you know. Gentle and sweet to know you. I give you a kiss from me. With all due respect, allow you to you and me! What do you think of me and I of you? I am grateful to him for me to have read, understood perhaps! Turning to some of the considerations I have already taken their already read at least eloquent elationships unwrapped this cool since the time the midnight mass or game cock that is the terrible question!? Reflection to ecstasy intelligible communication to a minimum and mere echo of the silence that separates us from acts are words even in a single stinging pain of rejection. Physically but not insurmountable obstacle for the hormonal chemistry and spiritual being of light. Celestial bodies invade us for the flowering of pansy. In search of love clover, because the wealth is to understand the multifaceted beings, and always with something to add to this view. Another addition, a further increase, this desire for compassion and tenderness for us exiles representative self-esteem in social media. I view the prospect of one and indivisible, will not alienate any more by desires that arise in the circle. This circle of gold, covenant of good faith and loyalty and respect, especially the duty does not exist. We are pure and savage mode of action, and nothing more selfish than me, who only to be so always invades the other with his point of view. Inflamed the minds capable of a simple clash of ideas, it is urgent appeal to common sense. When should I bring the yield or the other. Nothing more trivial reject what we do not want is easy. Yes it is love and love to feel the other and not me. Constructive attitude of being the link between us. Printed in instinctive behavior only think of me, then at me, and now I again. Conflict is why I turned into a "me" and never knows how many selves we must give support to each other. It's kind of come to us that is always open. Note to selves with their own masks to be you own and what level of selfishness is. Well the armor of self one day it will be so broken by the "thou's" that exist and are "I's" more "I's" popping the armor. Love: love conquers all. August 2007 divorce ... Light fizzy - and falls fizz, dilute and expands into branches of an unconquerable desire for it is an illusion as all eyes which then collapse when confronted with external reality. Endowed with malice and counterfeit sporadic effervescent madness of desire as the love that grows and contaminates, occupies all thoughts and leave it to dominate and be overbearing, it is the exchange of revitalizing energy, the content is light there. Illuminated sky, nothing stronger than the desire to achieve the perfect balance of bright sky, for they are the stars that give them life and thoughts move ideas or facts, the desire to concrete, nothing more beautiful than the sky lit by energy constellation that call for a constant interaction between the star and the star power is unique. It frightens me how energies vanish in smoke without a flame, this is not wanting to interpret the cosmic reality. I was disappointed when the vitality is suppressed by crystallization of accommodation and feelings is certainly a mask of political correctness. O soul turns you into a spell and fly over the minds that have no current impulse to the truth of the facts and the constant mutation of things, the changes are steps and cycles for which all start and develop, but never in the way of fear and suffering of feelings. Free yourself up and expands and especially the changing nature of life suffers, the change that propels us. Light of life, the passions engulfing madness. Why? Instinctively we want to love and be loved, passions and disappointments pave the way for many illusions. Deluded and love me focus and concentrate on all the methodology of how to truly love, that pierces any falsehood. Naked in the field of action to be loved this is the true identity of being, thus requires us to be loved deeper awareness of why we loved and yet there is a dichotomy necessary than happy to reciprocate and love too, this interaction is assumed that 1 +1 = 1, when logically one can not enjoy anything. So logically 1 +1 = 2, correct, but the conduct will not be productive if the result is not the technical tie the attitudes and values ‚Äč‚Äčand behavior in general, hence there is a position which then join in the middle of lovemaking. Understood this truth and will only source of pleasure, or be an individualist or other action, one should consider action as true freedom. Well, I have not lived enough to overcome the following steps, logical or illogical to be chosen from several of you do not want to be absolutely sure, so I imagine that ass once in a while, and today there is hardly dumb themselves, but the donkeys are artificial, that fool who truly stands for times in this paper, draw your own conclusions. 
I'm not here for that, in fact I have misgivings about madness, and attitudes that do not make, since the fool is the only under certain circumstances and when judged by others, that is often depends on the habitat. Diverting some of that reasoning then I say I'm crazy, I assume that many people liked and then, we are never satisfied, we want more love and more and more why so much love ambition, as I put the question. Retreat by saying the following, all are free to run amuck in love, we are vulnerable and often manipulated. We believe that it is true that we love, why, because we loved that feeling affection and triggers that awaken the wisdom of life 
11/2007 2nd suicide attempt with pills, an escalation in the hospital and curry cabral bad enter enter the ward I am approached by nurses "then tries to kill these hours with benzodiapezinas?", After the analysis I am shooting the intravenous needle and gushing blood. 
Dying to live, to live or die? Ouch! Forgiveness, it arises? Obvious, who never killed anyone? All we have to live a moment all without exception think how unfortunate pleasure and we will die soon after going live is so contradictory to the ridiculous. After my birthday I try to go "beyond" agreement 20 hours later completely disfigured and sedated, I survived again. I am taking part in a tender valued for a wave of administrative technician for a medical team of three and has a memorandum of 17.41 valore placing second in the contest, the night before had not slept and had smoked more than 10 joints, the interview been the morning. This medical school of the port. Where days later I got to go because he was with thoughts of suicide and where not even been served, waited, but I had enough of waiting. The light guided me in the direction of current ecstasy of everyday life, the future brightened me sick and pointless to then yes, thunder cut down on me and flashes like dynamite stripped of pleasure fatal. So yes I left healed bowel calorie of rigor and accuracy. But I do not know if I will illuminate the past for fear that she has no energy. Hence there are two poles, two extremes and I was struck by the positive and healing rather than the dark and haunting. This light comes from the clarity of emotions and rationality of the twilight of the immediate and impulsive, without transition and opaque meanings, not feelings or embedded nailed the emotion, the pleasure of living and enjoying the maximum force that moves us on earth and gives us power not, grab the talent and strength as you have a sharp blue ray fan and not lived bad moments and malicious thoughts and penetrating that victimize us like shadows, everything is moving, but it is present and how it unfolds, infiltrates in senses of vision and shows us the clarity of thought through the silence of the times, and is silent as to harden and enjoy the view of the disabilities that inglorious others pass through negative energies or positivas.√† speed of thought, the immediate, the second, the fraction of time moment it is instantaneous and hence there will be no cuts under the most ridiculous behavior because all rights, be they positive or negative effect. The influence of lacerating black Faiska happens in neutral pole of wisdom and carries the insanity of vibrant energy and hungry for pleasure and luminary, so I advise you use your own energy to be reaching for the light and fade like a smile burning ash, deprived of heat, but frantic when shaken. Of another quadrant have the blue ray with imperturbable thought of Christmas tree lights and stressed that drive us to distraction. It is in this transition are facing energy pragmatic but not effusive obstructions that prevent us from living the flash, the thunder shakes and prominently affect the sound wave producing supersonic speeds but not so powerful as well. What is real and it seems unreal. Life in the eternal guard she gets there and then there is no way to fight it, around it or manipulate it is the terror of dissident burble and culminates in a single point strike the mind of creation, imagination, or just paint one stroke fluorescent green hue and tone that grab life to live bloom, here is the bookmark you've always wanted to point out, live intensely. 
01/2008 do a tattoo with the letters 
Darklightning and a spark in the shoulder blade and the power of saying this tattoo after luz'08 never purposed against life 

2007-11/2008-01 - fast commercial handset'm the best customer of the employer to purchase 5 mobile phone company, fails to appear at work. Estarreja in the library parking space reserved for disabled people sat and lay down on the place allusive to my protest regarding the manner in which being different means not being different in a claim that is just the size of the book itself was started and completed and filled plagiarized from a book about "being different" that was in the entry Escaparate which last one day was filled with rules of good manners and etiquette more than 20 volumes on the standard. In the library Estarreja 02/2008 hang with the blue helmet of the works and as an employee of public works, write the following on the door of the room: silence reigns in me by suffering. Threaten the brother of death and I am led authorities under this charge for evaluation psiqui√°trica.vou his own initiative to hospital Viscount Salreu where I am admitted as a patient, it will generate a discussion about where and ill or not, is that the computer system only allowed the entry as being sick?! I intend to go into psychiatric hospital coimbatore coming to see gnr with the military they gave me a ride home the next day. I strike words and I'm speechless over 10 hours. I bought light and sound devices with amplified speakers 100watts cd with the manifest anti-dantas maximum volume was placed in the window of my room, on the Joseph almada slave-poet Orpheus d'futuristic and everything. Huc - University Hospitals of Coimbra bulletin hospital - psychiatric service men - this patient was admitted to hospital were discharged on 2008-02-02 2008 - 02-18 - normal illness, changes the diaper to the roommate, another controversy with he came out after the middle of treatment. Led by the authorities to the hospital I am handcuffed and not even being seen by a psychiatrist forced to adhere to treatment against my will, tied to a gurney and taking an injection. I took the books he had borrowed and threw them into the lake of the municipal council took the sweater that day, I showed a mass in front of my tattoo on the outside who had the drawing power of the light, I got to leave 15 euros in the procession. I came to be summoned by Alderman Estarreja culture that did not deliver the books taken from the library instituted criminal proceedings would be the worst cd is scratched up and the day of the procession were thrown into the books to the light source of the municipal square. 
When I was mute because of illness conceived a plan, stay with a multimillion-dollar secret I thought I will not say why not, I'll stay silent, my son with an Arab book handwritten by me will have the greatest treasure in the world. 
In the role of ward Coimbatore, I was diagnosed schizophrenic psychosis is probably just think I'm schizophrenic now ... He listened to the conversations at the meeting of nurses, auxiliary smarter realized I was listening to colleagues say it was my turn ... He had written in the form `" danger of flight "keep pajamas" I find that ridiculous, ever going to escape in his pajamas?! To unsubscribe from this compulsory detention I have to sign a document on how the court will follow the treatment. In the interview for admission to a hospital aveiro said he wanted to be treated with my nickname "the lord of light," which would only eat fallen fruit from trees and did not like butter and jam morango.o that were in the normal meals. He thought about ways of suicide, how to shoot me from the pattern of discovery etc ... 
Live, I feel a suffering that prevents me from seeing, like being with real behavior but always loyal like a sad clown'm fake smile, the joy of the interior, does not conform to the exterior. I feel a float that makes me leave the normal place to travel and stay at a point where the very sight dista. I feel a big step abysmal, unnatural phenomenon, but as a savage animal feel the ferocity and speed, pull choke and kill as an innate force doomed to failure at this time. On one trip, without a trace is the image of rebellious, hateful and truly sinful, here's a swear in the sky at high temperature, flourishes and grows violent rush that is just a bad moment all the fierceness and culminated enhanced I dressed as a clown and with a cap of itn - Portugal inform the cafe venezuela. I'll get to ctt a letter from court clerk to say that because of my illness I can not sign, I took my fingerprint, ie I was not writing. In Coimbra, the hospital like a hotel, you find a paper card for the door handles by saying, do not bother! Do not bother with it and walked the perimeter of the wrist hospital.dou me to pick up leaves in the tree, leaves and pollen make cigarettes with papers requested to tom√°s nickname the "paratrooper". 
I left the hospital after a week I am taken to the hospital again with a history of psychiatric evaluation under the command of the ovar gnr - Coimbatore put on an exhibition of a restraint chair with the constitution offered by the assembly of the republic and open at the defense in the absence of authorities. I turn out the light and saying the power of erasing light switches from hospital to hospital in coimbatore coimbra buy the very interesting and has a great theme tackled on the origins of the devil. What about the consumption of hashashin is what happens. As the psychiatric ward is mixed enough to have oral sex with a patient in the men's bathroom and bedroom. He was in hospital in Aveiro and breathed through the open window 5 cm. And just wanted to breathe the air that was blowing and the garden and saw people running and just wanted to breathe and enjoy .. . .... Feel the freedom 
continued to be: way of life 
Continuation of Being: Way of Life 


Publisher LivroPronto http://www.livropronto.com.br/ 


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Editorial Production 
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Review 
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Continuation of Being: Way of Life 
Copyright ¬© Filipe Moura 
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Data Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication (CIP) 
Sa Moura, Filipe Alexandre Andrade 
Continuation of Being: Way of Life / Filipe Moura 
- London: LivroPronto, 2010. ISBN 978-85-7869-175 
1. Literature. I. Title. 
S√£o Paulo, 2010 
1st Edition 


Continuation of Being: Way of Life 
True accounts of 
Nelson Pereira Braz 
Filipe Alexandre de Moura Andrade S√° 




Lifestyle 
One who is proclaimed, by which is meant ... way of life, or is everything that we inherited from our ancestors, then we have the task of breed when we reach adulthood, one that is proclaimed by the laws of society, where people live in a democracy. 
That is, everything we can acquire the knowledge, that is all that we seek when we know what we build. 
Why? 
Because when we treat the society in which we operate by force of reason, we always have to live to be a way be acceptable to us to be seen by society itself as a master, it can not be evil, just that we can be more worthy; that's what we live, we also know that there is mutual aid. 


Why? 
Because we are beings for us to serve each other, so the problem is that there is acquired, to be honest when me are greater evils. 
Why? 
Because we can be a social being, but one can live to be wild. 
When we are not defeated by their equals. 
But there always exists and doubt, distrust that always haunts us, whereby we are taught, for which we are taught and that is where we move as we are sure that you really trust, then we serve us well because we practice well. 
We want to please all readers that can read books, these my books, they can find at any bookstore where you can dazzle the topics they want to hear and read in your bed. 


Is a good company, never will read and view these reports as true. 
As those who feel that giving the true experience of those who have erred, but he knew me to heal all the evils that pursued me. 
What will be the theme of this edition? 
Flying Reports is perhaps a topic that is not shocking, we do not want to shock readers, but the reports are true and are reported in a way that was lived in a legal way. 
Because I had an experience within the law, believe, imagine a thousand things, feel the real feeling on the skin of the animal instinct. 
We want to win by force, and we feel as such. 
Outside the law, that being that we all learned that we can find the weight that comes the way we used to live, because despite all the harm we can do, can never be regarded as evil. 
I think there will be one in each reincarnation. 


Ambition to live, we live in is an easy way to find, but it is not easy and it becomes difficult when we fall on the bars of the law and when we do not have money for good lawyers, we pay a higher price. 
Why? 
If we do not fall from grace, we can not be funny. 
This is my story, the narration of the story of a young father is Portuguese, but born in Africa, I was raised in Pontinha after a separation from my father to my mother. 
From there began my real life to want to live easy and as I mentioned above, the easier it can become difficult. 
Why? 
Why have always believed that the law favors us when we show repentance. 
But when the facts are proven 100%, make the law, which is governed by the courts, where crime can only 


truly be proven, it really just happened, that part of various factors, which would perhaps confuse the reader. 
Why? 
Because it would be difficult to move the reader the true sense of the pain of not being forgiven and opportunity to prove terms of committing a crime and feel the evil that we are practicing. 
When we are abandoned by society and that we look at the neighborhood, we all like to look. 
Why? 
Have a look at search, it comes from individual capacities. Because when we are born with a legacy of progress in life, so we also teach and impart a bitter experience of life, and I'm still paying for it! 


I was born in Africa, had three sisters, Elvira, and Candida are. Yeah there a good beginning, a story that could be a brilliant story, but happened to be a less good life. 
I did not feel very evil men who carry out this function, called the prison guards, always judged them not to have enemies that want to accept that I could have really clear ahead at the trial. 
Committed various crimes along my path as I walked in life. 
That term was used in the jargon, with whom we dealt, was a form of slang, or we can also term oriented. 
Were the places we were looking for and the way of life that we took were always the pier, where there was no violence or that violence was not found so alluring or provocative, because we really feel good in what we do. Is not acceptable in the eyes of society, because no society can accept that others might live the crime, if not seen as a need for substance abuse that may 


look terribly bad, but they exist. 
And as such we all have vices, but as such we always take it badly when we do not like a thing that has always been noticeable, as bad, but it has a great vision of where we are all created, are our means and cohabitation makes our training we want and having the ambition to live well and be better than the other. 
Are there many kids as the mischievousness of my creation, but among these kids there was a girl, I always liked her since I met, made year on the same day as me. 
As always liked her since the day I met her, I always liked her, she lived very much with me and lived with my sisters, had a long relationship it was not love at first sight, think and believe that there will never be a woman how I loved that, the first time that I kissed her, I felt the real lion, we all like to see us in the savannah. 
He who has the right to an equal life to all men have a wife and family. 


Even if she accepts the way of life I have lived there and love only once in a lifetime, I am not the wise, and never considered myself as such, but I met them all, were integrated in one way or another, all we have to connect, I paid a large bill but it's all because I wanted a good life. 
He was good at what he did, I started doing burglaries, robberies began in the simplest, did some of armed robbery. But then downgraded me with excessive consumption of cocaine, I felt good about smoking and not want to leave. 
It took me delirious, but never assaulted anyone in my raids, if there was no reaction, would not need to use violence, they would always mitigate the bars of the court. 
I know who walks in the rain water it is simply 
sought to obtain money or get the values ‚Äč‚Äčthat brought them. 
Varied locations, such as Pontinha grew up in Lisbon was always fun for me, regarded this city as I have already read books on history, city of historical and cultural value. 


I saw the progression from having a good life, to live a life encordeirada, as such, or just wanted the money, I knew I was fine, just wanted money and I was wrong in these acts, was only intended to satisfy the my addiction and feel social in the social environment, to be good with people and feel normal, normal in the midst of living in relationship with people. 
I was dominating, I thought the lion's mane in 
conquest of territory and dominion of life. Faced was how to have a woman's life! 
Well ... I faced this way of life in a positive way in which evil could do to people, never harmed anyone in a way to ruin the other in a brutal way and leave them with nothing. 
I was just enjoying the fact of the moment and just did it for money, to quickly get to smoke cocaine, but elongated always what was inevitable, which is what a man is not born with, or perhaps we may inherit, to study the cause as is the man who drinks alcohol and smokes drug reacts in the procreation of genes in heredity that is left by the result of fertilization. 


I am not the "expert" on this matter in order to decipher all this and be able to give readers this parable, like talking about it because I had to talk about it, are ways of life. Sometimes they are seen well, others are barely seen. 
Why? 
Because the way of life that we learned more as I referenced above, you can not always act with malice, it should be forgiven, to be well acclaimed! 
Why? 
Because we live it, the standards we live 
of feeling and sentiment leads to life is a form of ambition to be able to have a good life. 
The relationship began when I was 22, was joined in the army but did not want to go, but the law had said so. And that was when I had the true relationship, the passion that I have never equal to Christina, and here began the relationship that we all aspire, we all want to find our true soul mate. 


He lived intensely, I felt that she was away from me I was not feeling well, and it was there that perhaps she had took a little more power over me. 
He loved the girl, she was jealous, but it was insanely jealous, jealousy was a healthy and jealousy that there was no real malice sick that I could take to force someone to stay with me for my imposition. 
Why? 
Thought I was alone and if I lose it will lose the woman of my life, but it happened. I wanted to go to her neighborhood high and go to a disco in the small field, we discussed and it was there that we might not have been her will, the elder brother never accepted the relationship as well. I had a fight with him, but it was before starting to love Tina, but now was a moment of circumstance, but I liked him, but he did not accept my way of life, never told me, but that was never shown the my side, knowing that I was good. 


Did not harm much, but he did not accept my relationship with his sister. He only lived with me for the circumstance of the context, we lived in the same neighborhood so we kept that relationship, that of our creation. 
Her mother was coming from There, Ms. Concepcion's father did not know, but it was good man, Raul. 
Learned to live only at the expense of women, come a time in the neighborhood to proclaim it's fiscal quarter, was a child, but had a sense of time, as he walked to school. 
And it was that time that I saw quickly, despite the small age, who could have had to struggle for life and he had: a father, mother, house, food not failed me and never failed me. Because despite the low salary that my mother received, 11 were tales that he paid income tax and there's my dad only paid the rent, there is, but never lacked food. 
So was the beginning of the end, that is, the removal can lead to forgetfulness, I think it was me who was left in learning to lose my father had to react the same way as him. 


I looked at him as a hero, a son fighting man 
of humble, grandmother, Elvira, was with whom I lived until the 
6 years old until I went to school, what happens ... I got used to my grandmother, was to graduate, regardless of the direct monitoring of my father, but not at the time still had its eyes wide open, but had the sense of time. 
He had the notion of time. 
They are the purest of reports that may exist in the world. Why? 
Today anyone can come to the fore by their way of life regardless of the position he holds or the social hierarchy. 
So part of this, the notion that nobody can really be accused of anything without concrete evidence, or concretely. 
Why? 
So are governed the laws and we all have access, we 
no killing, stealing and raping. 


But we can go back to the beginnings of mankind and such events have succeeded, because the story is based on that. 
We are the continuity, that continuity that will always be continuous, one that is destined. 
And it is absolutely certain that we live for a cause, we are not continuing to remain and exist on earth. 
I do not know, could vary the theme but could disrupt the reading of the reader, could divert attention from the true story that happened. 
But these are parables that during the entire book will always exist because we do understand and clarify situations that were experienced. 
Why? 
So you can see that everything was within a society where there were always healthy lives and understanding from society because in the eyes of others until we can be Judas, but there is a very important thing in life, what we sow is the fruit that we will reap. 

But in front, must be treated well, to be the exemplar, my father always saw me and wanted to see how a king, but I'm the king, the warrior who can not always win and I started very young. 
When I pointed out that easy is not easy, but difficult, that's when I dubbed the hunt. 
Having beaten with a crack in the face what I felt was that he had lost, I felt it in her eyes, she later tried to revive me, but I refused and that was when he began the true story of crime, but had a history , was already separated when fulfilling six months in military prison in Santarem, was the military prison. 
At the time Arnold was condemned, that is the story of this guy fits in my way in the prison environment, an extension of the book the reader will understand the real social environment, in this case prison, was given six months to fulfill the pardon by the Pope. 
It was all I could invest to lead a good life, I had already separated from Tina. And what did I do? I tried their luck. 


Still got to work on the subway Pontinha as an assistant carpenter. Blacks feared me, I worked with black people in Cape Verde, good people who wanted a better life than they had at home. 
Portugal sought to have a better life in their country could not therefore have to demand that led them to immigrate from the country itself. 
It was easier to search by proximity to Portugal. 
I began to feel the proximity of Cape Verdeans and live with them, Cape Verde was dubbed the worst because they had to fight inequality and when they came here to Portugal were beings who were not well accepted because they had spent the war overseas and then still was a kid, was a Chavalit was waking up and got what was that nobody wants a child, I began to wander, I was never vadiador, I was a vagueador. 
Already had the domain expertise that had past, I saw the divorce of my parents at age 8, already abroad to study, and as such I knew that I would not go down too well, I felt the departure of the man who was a hero . 


Seeing this lost, even at a young age I realized I had to help my mom, but I truly loved my father. 
All would spend summers with him until 17 years later still continue while in the army, but then began the removal that is natural. 
At the time he was in Figueira da Foz in the practice of school transportation service where I vacationed with him. 
My father was a hard man, had a rough childhood, lost her father with 14 years was the ambition of my grandmother grow in life, having more support and have more money. 
My father reported that his parting was loving, he liked it was because it was a hasty farewell, since the farewell, never again see his father, but grew very hard to help her mother, who was the son lived at home longer the mother. 
6 years I lived with my grandmother, but how hard, had grown hard from below, never let the children starve. 


At the time he was a miner. Looking for ore business, but nothing came out there was also cyclist at the time he joined the army and continued his career there. 
It became a normal man, joined there by the necessity of life, as it ensured that we all have to ensure self-sufficiency. 
This happened as he was a hard man, friend of friend, friend of children, but was not of many words, but it was respectful and honest. 
That's what he always wanted me to leave, but was, there is, was the separation, I retreated a bit, not proceeded with a more thorough way of living and way of life, overcome difficulties and obstacles in life secured a job to secure the future in order to procreate, they're all good kids, we are worthy to be his children, but also there was a lack of understanding and loyalty on my part, I've become on being mean-spirited as he said. 
The psychological whiplash sensation only aggravated me because I could never see that good is to be practiced, but only got as evil only by the separation 


I had thought wrong. 
And so it all went by the act of condemnation. It began where? 
Had passed the separation was when I started 
to join the solitude, but it was my way of life had past and there I felt safe from the preoccupation of the disappointment he had felt, but I swore there, you leave me, never gonna give me. 
I went on my way of life was drinking and stealing and there was still the tried and I tried it several times and it was there that she came to want to accept me, I know you made me suffer, I will not want to get back to that feeling was painful, but always had to live and still have it. 
I still have it in my mind was why I lived so many years in jail always thought it always had this in my being so I have much appreciation for this passion, there lived an equal. 


Line, after three months of preventive Linh√≥ entered the chain of convicts, then my story begins with the bravery of being restricted by a brave, so where we have to deal with the alien world, what happens is this, as I knew that the path could be very long in confinement, I will come to manage the forest, was the easiest way to deal with those who commit crimes and are within the chain is a world in which the prevailing law of stupidity, and when we deal donkeys have to deal with them, but if we're too smart can fall, so life then life must be taken not so much the land or the sea, that was my salvation, I chose this method was that I did win, but my start was going to be a long and troubled early because I saw no women, no freedom I found myself stuck, lost and he was young, I thought about everything that could be the year that could go there. So what did I do? Then I start getting respect, it is not easy, not even wanting to get into conflicts of violence, because they happen to go through a routine that after I came to realize later, after the routine that I loathe to see live, I never thought that beings humans could do so much harm to each other because one selling drug, to other consumers because life inside the jail that revolves around the monopoly is the drug because that's how I started smoking heroin, as I had entered the 


chain by the excessive consumption of cocaine, heroin decided to start, but a form of play, I'll look smoking heroin, but I realized it was holding could not do anything, but I learned to do, but it will be reported later, then the this was beginning to have a life in jail despite the reality that escapes the pleasures, I just resigned myself to heroin knowing that I would ignore the idea of ‚Äč‚Äčhaving sex, was powered by a chemist that I did not think so. I had platonic love as it is legitimate and got great loves, but one thing is guaranteed, but not enough experience, do not you just want to smoke, there's always the aspect we want to be leaders of seeing others in a hierarchy to control what You know that does not, it's painful, it is hard to crack, I decided not to take pity on anyone, because I was also there, was paying a debt of justice, but my journey was very bad, if I had learned this lesson earlier would won and lost because he did not leave in the middle of the pen, but my image was burned, it was pretty referenced, there is an account of my passage through these years in jail, was the beginning of the end a hard principle, by which I can not regret I smoked for years that the drug has helped me to release a great need we all feel it is a pleasure logical terms, terms of freedom to be able to walk fine taste in these years 


I also love all that built in there, but it'll be for later, now I will speak of the journey is long, do not know how everyone gets when they are convicted by the entry that is to seek well-being, even within the cloistered life, but that's all subjective, because in our well-being may not please those who look at us, can dislike at various points, the first may be stolen, the second can become a slave, work, love can become the third or housewife days, there is much variety of men within the chain that you can not always know what goes inside the soul or that everyone likes, and many choose not to be prejudiced, but besides that there is a point most importantly, never, never be bought a friendship, even though she paid into the jail, the confrontation is very hard within the chain, there are those who have nothing, the confrontation within the chain is loose, loose on one side and is strong as a whole, would provide billion or I had to give back, to get away, but wanted to walk so I wanted to walk the hard way was the way I always took me to understand, my side has always been more psychological. 
It was since then never found the right road in the chain, did not believe in good, saw only evil. Why? Because I felt disgusted with myself, because 


the eyes of others was just a bitch, bitch is a slang term that we were using, meaning sluggard, who did not want to commit to any cause other than what is resigned to do, always pursue the path that giving always in the divine, the power comes from that, the belief of hope and faith, and always moved in with me, saw homicide in there. 
But as I was the marimba for that, and let me live, I never tried to harm, truth be told, and that's exactly how it all started, I was very unstable, unpredictable, and the school principal encourages me to continue his studies, but conclude that, just not all studying, had family support, guaranteed. 
This is ensured when there is always a cool way to live and be able to claim what is evil, why is it called support guaranteed, within the law are those that give us the evil when we are being pushed and beaten by the system, because for money terms are not pushed into a system where there is money all goes well, justice works, because if there ever was. 


As much as we believe in you, can do nothing to change because they are officials, and they only have to communicate can not act without the requirements that are stipulated by the courts, with a complaint to an open investigation, but if they were to open a inquiry I was always clear ahead because I knew walking in the movement within the jail, the guards knew corrupt, those who transported drugs to jail, some others have got away to jail. 
Some of those cops who have been arrested already knew, and had one episode stands out with one of Alfredo, was a man of the night, the king of the night, explorer hostess bar that is the true king of the mafia, this deserves a life best was a former police goe only that the crime has taken the path I happy to mention it in my book because I learned some things from him, despite him being a cop and had less positive episode in my life with him, they tried to kill me in the prison of the line only at that time was already a veteran, had completed five years there. He knew every agent, and all knew me and this episode fell ill the whole chain, related to the prisoners, because I was an incentive for them all, was the example they see in me, to ensure continuity within the enclosure because we had 


be there, and when I mentioned earlier that Cape Verdeans would be my marriage, I was not wrong, they were, moreover, they wanted to avenge that episode, they tried to kill me, I was invited to be the man to the head, but not me wanted to enforce the union of only one made you do that if I wished he was dead. 
But in an ironic twist of fate none of this happened in only beat them, not kill him he redeemed himself and tried to strengthen my friendship with him, but he knew within himself that he would never forget this episode, only forgave him because he has humility and have been deceived by what we talked about me, not by the prisoners, but the prison service, and direction, for he knew that I could not defeat, could pay the price in advance of death, so that was let him go and when I realized he was humble learned to accept and respect him because he would not be alive if I wanted, but not valuable, it was just a high price to pay, 
I was criticized by ordinary prisoners who hated cops, 
I made fools of. 
- Nelson as you accept this guy? 


I accepted it because he above all he was a professional, earned powerful enemies in the environment they lived, being a cop, had many acquaintances, knew people who knew the top and powerful people who could help, threatened me to stop talking with that individual or so longer have our respect and they ours, but I let him live, was one of our era, the Cape Verdeans that I mentioned were Nelson and Charles, lived in exactly the area where I grew up were they shoulder to avenge me and outbursts came after, and they wanted to see it butchered this individual, but I let let him go, not do anything of that individual, though I have nothing against him, and the story of the brothers Carlos , was shot by an agent of the PSP, it was referenced, he was beaten too, played chess with me, he was an expert in the field, could play only the money, I always told him, not worth it, played by love the sweater, but by then he was well, he was being sponsored by Manuel and Rom√£o and Badon, we dealt as brothers, there was mutual, was foremost among us, in the middle where crime lurks at any second the thousandth of a second, there much and sometimes we get caught in the middle and after having done that, I decided to pursue my way, I did many escorts in the chain, ie ensure the welfare of some and 


to earn my own, that is, one hand washes the other. 
Was the motto, the motto of helping each other, but there was always a risk in a situation metermos if we were called to this, a homicide occurred on the line, never put it in question were good days and happy because I decided to went for it, I could not do, always thought of me, I never thought in others. 
It all happened very fast until my transfer to the valley after eight years of the Jews completed in line, they never wanted me and accepted me well, they wanted to harm me, but I respected him, always waited for my carelessness, which he never gave them . There was a woman who was employed in the legal industry, she liked me and I forgave her, but forgave it with gusto, the day I rode the trap was exactly at the time I was more powerful than ever, never talked much them with the cops, he was a danger, I walked up for anything. 
Regardless of evil, the evil that could happen to me because, having taken an education based on the future and can live with it, is a strong factor to be so, and we used to and we take the teaching that life is so we just live to die 


lead, but when I was transferred to Valley Jews, but all that was left behind began a new cycle this was my way of life and way of thinking does not allow any kind of abuse, had my character, simmered in a little water, and when I arrived in the valley of the Jews, decided to take a new course, wanted to get rid of the nightmares of the past, though I had, the past really had was not a simple way to say, that there is going there, but not quite, what goes there, goes there, just let go, let yourself be rocked in the fantasy that we really are a being domineering and spent the owner of the entire galaxy, that is dysfunctional and everything is all ready for it because they are employers and employees do not control their adventures and to say that stealing is legal, is a form of cheating, one of the moments that I glorify the most Linh√≥ was my achievement because in addition to ensuring my name in the square . 
He had one more thing was the timing of everything, or nothing with no breakthrough win or die was the motto that had within me the strength to live and to enjoy what I had while I was locked up, never used for gratuitous violence my mates got almost crying tears, I saw the wickedness of being carried by the other fellows who were dominated by violence and were 


maybe forced to do whatever they wanted traffickers, but I embarked on a path harder, although I had hooked to heroin, I swore to myself to live within the chain is willing to kill and live a dignified I could not bother to finish the cable are all adversity of the moment are those with which we have to handle everything, though not my desire to create enemies where there are no floor and bad about myself, some people tried to harm me, the direction did not like me, then that's when they did, they sent their informants are present at all times that would be open to if they can be better informed of everything that I could ever do, they had a guilty conscience, but a something sparked my attention and made me change, basieie me a lot in the teachers I had, I felt for a few platonic love, and that was when I was running well, but the boat then turned, grabbed me and put me Jews in the valley, it was difficult after eight years of imprisonment in line, let a vast history at prison, because he knew everyone and they knew me and that's why I never wanted to punish one hundred percent, I went many sometimes punished with disciplinary sanctions, one for assault and other verbal abuse by guards and that's how I realized that really was dealing with a mafia more 


powerful than I, but in reality were no more than I had only the books and the law, which made a different being from me, because once gone, time to throw the ball much to my amusement, indeed played everything there was to play the trump card played louder than ever when you can play, ace of spades, there was nobody to tell me he could understand that would have bad luck with this letter, and told me they could have bad luck with this letter, the Times change and that's when I began to realize that life is not in the chain, but outside, but never wanted to internalize, but I knew this was my strong point, and began a dramatic story was ending in murder, were three brothers and they all heroin and heroin for them was the need of the hour, or were dependent on what they were drug addicts. 
But deep down, people were humble, had a good heart, for they needed to be helped because they took in life and I also took, was a hard life, we can even say it was a bondage, the way life was, every day we had to smoke but we would redraw. 
But all this is the result of a lifestyle, one that moves the question because I even do poetry in relation to 


experience and context of the situation, all they asked me a poem, was to write to his girlfriend, was like they were always asking for a poem, but I lost myself and was at the time of consumption that have adopted this way of life, I know what I know and am not willing to teach anyone because it had experience of the past, made me a hero of someone who was in the trash and we managed to raise. 
All of this was summed up by way of experience, by way of living, the way we had to obtain the drug for smoking, because if he had offered and given would not buy, I became a pimp and say a drug dealers to sell had to assure me my daily surf, dusty for me to smoke, it was then that I became a pimp of traffickers, have been dubbed so they all wanted to help me, gave me drugs to sell and I ate, I had the greater pleasure than any addict can have, being addicted to drugs and smoking. 
But I was known by my sportsmanship by my practice in training because trained every day and it confused people who saw me looked at me and they always had a paranoia, the paranoia that I mentioned in this book and the mistrust that is doubtful, when we do evil we are always afflicted me is that evil will happen. 


It's always the unexpected forecast, honestly I got used to this way of life and it was difficult for me to prison after integration into the social, because it is a medium that we know, is a very small space where the coexistence leads to daily We all know one another, but physically. 
We all want to lead because we felt the right to conquer a space in which we provide security for ourselves, for being inserted in a medium in which we always deal with the fear, but it's not a fear, is simply the Making sure we can overcome the situation knowing being, knowing talk, knowing the business being darker than you think think, in the drug world, is very wide, is an immensity and vastness of a huge all you can think of when talking about crime at all that may be expected in that business are not for profit, said in a way that we correct or acceptable by society and the eyes of the law, then the race starts all want to win or that it has to invent, in this case stealing, smuggling, last collection difficult, hard things to do, is also undergoing an operation when there is a chronic dependence on their own that they know they have enough output Cowing the dependence factor, are controlled, are subjugated to extort money to the family feel the pain of seeing a 


son addicted to heroin and assumes that everything might be lost to human dignity, or lose all the values ‚Äč‚Äčof education that we take to be someone in life, to live the way they were taught to live because those are the values ‚Äč‚Äčthat are used to meet the social and ethical values ‚Äč‚Äčthat our parents left us and we will be proclaiming how many children we will generate, is this the education that we teach is always the life extension. 
Now starting to unwind the cycle that gives us life, is written in the bible, born to procreate, but also able to read the Bible Cain slew Abel, his brother, but was blessed and forgiven, was misled. It sometimes happens in life, being induced into error, fatal, one that is writing itself, because it was written by the experience and the way the laws that lived and grew. 
Why? 
The force of reason always wins, and all judgments which may make life may sometimes not be the most accurate weighing everything by a factor: the libel, not to be funny and not fall from grace, be one that everyone 

want to despise, humiliate, feel so good and when there is a lack of economic power are always limited to play, because we also share that this is a game, that is, some say it has to learn to play are dictated popular that we are lucky maybe we can hit a good thing, and that luck can give us what we demand, the well-being, be good about it, because we were taught to help for that too, share a living together with our parents, our brothers, sisters, grandmothers and grandfathers, for there is, this is our generation because we are the result of the extension of them seeing us created beings of their offspring, ie, we know that the ability to know ourselves, we know that are ours and ours that are always on our side, but never like to look, to have a member in a family that can not please them, they have an image to preserve the life was made so the progression, marriage, welfare, nobody likes to have or to see someone who is our family or someone close to us because at the end, after we are all human, we have to deal with each other and family, sometimes we want to welcome others, feel they own what they have generated and make it a way of life that is written in all theological readings that can be read, or study of religions. 


All of us bring with moral lessons, it is proper that those who feel a closeness so faithful, who do everything around to see our good, our loved ones see them well, in der der, and never want to harm them before the image and preserve that which you were taught, the values ‚Äč‚Äčthey are governed not allow them to look good for a situation that could perhaps be resolved were not sometimes misunderstood. That is, pretty much everything and the media also transmits thus equal to the facade we show a pretty picture, they are also pressured by a power that we all accept the governance issue very hard, but it has to do with all this going be reported there, we exist, we will continue to exist, education is also given to those who call themselves masters of reason and sometimes they want to convey and disunity, they all have one thing in common to keep: a welfare well-being that they can provide an area for everything they covet and want welfare for society, but they all lived and were raised with a father and a mother, they were given the right conditions in order to advancing in a career that aspires to be, but also fail, but always forget and are governed by the image, I kept this because my speech is huge expanse in this life, I learned a lot, I developed what I had to develop 


although I never thought in leash to the end, aim to always have direct contact with employees of establishments where I was, my career might appeal her prison it will be better understood in terms of say so, but must be, be interpreted as honestly and frankly that there is in life. There is related bilateral relations are relations that govern all nations, are matters of community interest to safeguard the property, so they can give a well-being that was well established in the world, the theme of freedom harder to speak, we give all our freedom, most beautiful thing in the world, is the greatest pleasure one can have in life is to be released, we know that is overcoming all obstacles that we have throughout life and can find them. There is a huge variety of them, I can get the line: social good, we all have one thing in common, like ourselves, we can be ugly, handsome, no matter, we get used to living together, the appearance is not everything, by Sometimes, behind a good looking can find a down side, but it was the hand of Apollo, the side of beauty, described by Nietzsche that I followed his autobiography, there is no more, the side of beauty is that which makes you dream, that makes us love it, brings all good, but there is, the well goes hand in hand with evil, as Nietzsche 


described there was the Dionysian side, ie, good and evil embodied in the instincts of human being, when it comes to all beings that exist at the top of the Earth who they are, whether political, are judges, whether mayors, presidents are associations all can be, even television presenters to have a charisma and gratitude, but no one can be forgiven, said the proper word, pardon all have a reason and when we put the issues we are taking everything we do on behalf these laws that govern a society and we can do justice to the word law. 
It was there that got the right not to be punished and be defined by law because it all fits, the abuse exists, existed and exists is the prologue. 
And the prologue comes from transcendence, a learning beyond, we all live because we know that transcendence is more than that, it can be, it can be, is able to teach, you have everything, but there is a keyword that means anything this: philosophy, lifestyle, enjoyment of life is this that forms one of the factors of transcendence, we remain and continue to live as equals in the evolution of be have been generated, to be abandoned does not make anyone evil blessed well we can perform is the divine, that we learn, we learn is our destiny 


everything is left us a legacy great values, so they are exalted in the words they write, but that is all glorification of maintaining power and being in exaltation, because all this could be cute if they really were all met and was written very good. 
Why? 
We would get in the way of the broader human rot, are slaves of democracy legalized the use of the situation to be enclosed and be subjugated to stricter rules, sometimes do not react the same way as the normal form of a soothing, is called the transcendence of being, the transformation to be the cruelest side, it was felt that I learned from experience that anger is a living to live, to live and survive and so is seen're proven by the values ‚Äč‚Äčof science that is dominated as a safe way to live when so must be, we can not evade the question, our characteristics that make up is different, but all come from the same, the mystification, there are beings more perfect than anyone else, everyone knows live for this need of support and guaranteed to all be credible, work cooperatively, we discount that others may have a better life, unemployment, an issue 


fair, this is an experience that you will all share with me, I called this story of continuing to be, will be the extension of this issue. 
It all started after the divorce of my parents, I was admitted to a convent school of St. Michael was the name of the college, on vacation with my father was around there, but after the separation has not faced a good relationship with my father, and onwards was that it all started, my mother had gone to live for the tip after the separation, I had about 10 years ago when I arrived and I went to the Pontinha, fled the college, not accept that way of life, but caught up I was an innocent, I knew the force of law existed, my father was a soldier dared me in the way the stories that my father had, being a man to be integrated into military service, serving the nation, a hard man as I mentioned, but let herself be carried away by their passion to love another woman, a good man, physically powerful, intellectually as well, it should take advantage of having inherited their genes, had him as a hero, it was all about learning who later came to be transformed. 


Why? 
The area I knew I could do from the moment of separation, as I was with my mother, I became independent, a lover of my mother, a working man, working in post and work, is a man of value, also began so, I needed help my mother and I became the ruler of all concerned was treated well, I repented and cried, but I won, I think this is the most appropriate topic, I loved them like no one, thankfully they are fine, have a life of its own, it was normal to have discussions, but they always had reason is that I was asleep by the transcendence of wanting more, I wanted to do nothing, thinking that it was easy. 
I started working to help my mother, but soon realized that I was not about to let it dominate, I started working as Casqueiro ie upholsterer's assistant, which is what makes the structure to be shaped and padded, worked, was right in twinge in my neighborhood, worked there with the Tom boy of my generation, had several brothers, but I was the favorite. 
A guy who worked there was the man Casqueiro structure in order to upholster the couch, sturdy-looking, and I no longer wanted to endure more, aggressive forms of 


speak, had already experienced this with my father, so I opted to reverse the situation, I felt capable of the progression of life, not weighed myself, but I could have doomed that day, as a matter of not wanting hurt or injure, but to protect myself I threw a stone the size of a hand, but I shot deflected wanted to give the warning. 
Still took me there, I continued to work after I left by choice, but the owner died consumed by HIV disease, a situation that was not like I saw him suffer in sickness, but I always respected him, I lost my job, I started in the active ie, in the jargon is being used as a guiding, not put up with bosses, want independence, I was the son of a lion, and behaved as such. 
In March 1996 I was found in the subway of the avenue, had had a string of robberies in the subway, there were denunciations of the crimes that were there and happened to pass the time spent on a PSP that came to ask for identification, and it was there already had an antecedent, a week before had been at Benfica superesquadra accused of stealing a player, but the boy who accompanied me, Ricardo, was cautious, inexperienced, he had come from Ovar not know the city, but he knew himself to be guided was an addict, and at the time 


how I used cocaine, I felt like having a crutch security, ie safeguarding me well for the future, ie to have a force, a union for progression. 
But now here comes the structure, a major factor in the ability of loyalty to each one, begins to rant, that's how I discovered what I already knew that you can not trust if you do not know, but my experience was vast, was enormous, he was sure of myself, was good at what he did, had already made several armed robberies, I chose a path not to harm anyone, just get the money. 
Why? 
To live, I joined this way of life and in March 
1996 over 28 days was properly notified of an arrest warrant allegedly denounced, just add the missing introduction to this subject, one week before had been arrested in superesquadra Benfica, I was sleeping in a car, the owner of what was a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force, a man who had passed through overseas, I was dozing by habituation there, but still had a house in Pontinha really was that night with friends, and steal a player and fell asleep in the car, were 


surprised and agreed by the PSP, superesquadra belonged to Benfica, but I do not make me afraid and told friends not to frighten would have to be strong and say no to the end, there was no evidence to the contrary, but he warned me that the cops could show up, but I reassured him, told him it's okay, I drank lots of whiskey and wanted to sleep and not feel like I was going home and lived nearby. So it was, was certainly the worst that a man can feel when he teaches and trains the current situation that can happen on that day safei me. He managed to obey my rule of having nothing to say but they were not convinced and fetch all the nearby parking lot attendants to see if they knew of any assault, a CD player blue, but we had already committed several crimes before and all were engaged in robbery and kidnapping, were investigated in the Avenue subway, the squadron was in the Marquis of Pombal, Lisbon metropolitan police station, we were interviewed, I said nothing, I do not know the conversation of friends, but as I had a history of having gone through one week earlier in a similar situation, I trusted. 
That day, we left the station, had nothing to say, relying on his testimony that I could get away, was taking at the time the license was working, but I was already receiving the unemployment fund, continued 


take the letter, I did the code, I was already driving, I felt well, enjoyed myself a lot and it was then that I served, I took with an arrest warrant from the judicial, were to get me home, had coming from the gym, trained more than a month ago when I entered the judiciary, I realized, when I inquired at the police station when I asked the marquis in the squadron of the Marquis de loft I said nothing, but all the friends spoke, I continued the interrogation phase of education was the judicial inquiry, they had nothing to say, nothing had been proven by striking factor. So I could not accept such a decision, I would like to deliver, maybe it was better to have had a different attitude, to speak the truth, be cooperative, to repent, but judged me for my wisdom, also wanted to play with justice, the judge who sentenced me was a man who had troubles in life, one of the daughters died from overdose and other remaining children also went to the drug seized, I was advised by a lawyer, or telling the truth or it would be hard to crack, but I trusted me. 
She had not defended me as she stood, she could be operational in the legitimacy of the duties which must fulfill as a representative of the law at that time had no personal lawyer nor have I ever been given, I had to hire After the arrest, after being convicted, after 


convicted, hired this lawyer, was everything I wanted to accumulate power, he knew he was at the crossroads had not wanted to take testimony, I paid a heavy price for the lack of collaboration and summed up everything on my original conviction to even think in kill me. 
It was a sad day for me I swore to myself that I would survive all the adverse situations that I might appear, was the beginning of my end of everything, I lost my freedom for some time, took a heavy chain and managed to survive. 
It was time to win that I learned the art of self defense can raise through me, respected me including all the administrative power which is what performs the duties of the prison as it is with this when we want to win something we have to deal with, are the owners of the piece, that is, they own the territory they dominate, they think themselves so, are commanded to do what needs to be done, continue the path on loyalty, regardless of how it may seem, can be and that all may have, but there is a subjugation that is disqualification, when exercising this office believe that they can be masters of the situation, do not resign themselves to be more straightforward and has to live, what is the prognosis 


They studied and the disasters they committed, were not one, not two, not four, were many, widely varying dubbed them the crucifixion of the most unfortunate, but I raised my morale was always high because, everything started when I arrived at my doorstep to IP Linh√≥ the entrance was a tough, tough, I was full of anger and desire to win, even thought about running away if I had the opportunity to do so, I managed to keep me, all because I got the respect of veterans who were IP, and they were the true pillars for me to learn the cloistered life, war, battle, could, if so would not be forgotten, all I remember, everyone likes to remind me, I was the typical images, I became a leader gloomy and cold did not know was how to love and won glory in the chain, were acts of cold who had to learn to live and remain at the top of the earth to win. Quickly demonstrated to educators, assistants, guards and to direct you to help me win the uphill battle, I felt no support just looked at the circumstance of time and care was barbaric, what happened could not have happened, I became the devil in me same, but the trouble was not looking just wanted to live and survive, was the moment of circumstance. 


Isabel was the name of the school principal in which I had respect for healthy and pleasant always accompanied me, has always helped me, but later came to become a rage in me, but always respected. And all this was due to strong pressure was being exerted by the administrative system of the director whose name was John G. the man who had come from overseas, got away when they tried to kill, his story is known, had several years in charge of the administration line, until after my transfer, I knew him well until he was a man who could talk , communicator was interested in the subject, I barely played perhaps the fault of the deputies, I was well-regarded professional in the cycle, the level of companionship all respected me and the director wanted the height of his career, that is, I'm here to dominate, I'm here to win at all costs, will be okay because that was the purpose of it, among other things he could say more. One of the causes he championed was more drug trafficking, he liked to help drug users, but demanded in return a coin, played with the law, had a power supple for the assessment of implementation of precarious and conditional outputs and outputs open system, it was not bad guy, who goes only to its non-degenerate and I chose the hard way that nobody likes the way to go, but I chose to follow, follow the path that would 


was meant when talking sometimes we hit the target, do not walk very far from reality, he had many dreams when I was young and dreams were made in a nightmare, a passage in the desert had predicted, had already seen my future, but was I pictured everything in a dream, I was down to monitoring by the witches who were dubbed as, the dreams came to me because they had to pass, the woman's power was great, helped me, but arouses curiosity in the wake of my detention, I had a dispute with my brother and wanted to be better than him, a healthy challenge and he wanted to be just like me. At that time, we used to go hunting against water snakes to aim, we would play pool sometimes faced tough opponents, but always were winning, I knew he was good, today is an army lieutenant. My father managed the most direct support that could give me, gave them helped him in training, because all this because there is a separa√ß√£o.Estamos in the middle of my input line, was angry, at the entrance, the guards wanted I know the background, was a normal-speak of the environment that we lived there was an environment of demand for both guards and prisoners wanted to win, there existed a good director, Manuel, but it was corrupt, but did not harm anyone limited to win and do his job and also helped during three years been under purview 


that director from 1996 to 1999, he was removed from the post of director, but now the president of the parish, but could never get rid of what had led him to leave the line, it was a good man meant well-being all the while not harming anyone had need to work on ward B considered the wing assassin, killer was dubbed the wing, for all the infrastructure up and receive a visit in the parlor was the result of falling water lack of scale of the infrastructure, we had to be the umbrella open, because he lived in a corrupt environment to point to the director to accept a proposal based on money that could explore the direction of the prison, got away well The proposal was based on the arrangement of training camp, or the soccer field, dirt was muddy from heavy Bu√© was also the nickname you could call him esgui√ßa, but also knew how to ride was good, knew how to manipulate the system if there was corruption that brought seize the moment, went out to the middle of a sentence of condemnation 
16 years, eight fulfilled the confidence of secrecy, but it would not finish in the best way because there were those who were harmed as well would be part of the system, the system is in place so there must be a justification, and with it went one more year, was the third year that I was in line came the real dilemma 


corruption of the sale of drugs approved by the chief director, maneuvered it using the inmate trust them, was a powerful drug dealer who had straightened out in life by selling drugs his name Luis Torres, came to make a child within the chain, there was a company proposal to make SKIP and fill the bags xis paid, I got to be invited to work there, did not accept the fact that men who were to perform this function to authorize payment in drugs and they got the money which was soon transferred electronically, that's where the real problem was given by Manuel T. director until then, there was not much to do, there was a judicial inquiry, there was deliberate or transfers, we will clean our image, but could not clear the whole, been to court, the judicial inquiry was accused, and a large vastness of testimonials, but I did not witness, even got called for it, also would not say too much, would only protect the baby, I felt I was better chart the question could still win something with that if I kept silent, I hardly knew that I would pay the price hard to chew. 
The guard Sparrow was out of prison services, the head Amorim had to take early retirement, Manuel T. still managed to win the presidency in a parish. 

There was a change of direction, John G. was the next name that followed in the administration of EP featured an ambitious, too big even for the context, as they began the work on ward B for remodeling of the conditions, half the ward was closed for renovations, I was in jail with Charles was the son of the mother of a college professor, was secretary to the school principal, but he was an addict, on occasion, he stole the bag of the teacher to afford to consume, was a chronic drug addict I felt compassion of his being, because to see him keep losing, I could not move was resigned to consumption, but was smart, he was an astute marketing that only the traffic that is sent blacks, had problems with them came to ask for protection as I was with him in his cell, but it's funny no one ever told me or demanded money, he had debts to pay, even defended him, but was betrayed left me a debt of heroin to the man who has beaten the type of debt, I accepted and became the duty, not feared as the heroine has made me be a wild, total domination, it was from there that I had to chew a hard life, was the height of my fury to see someone suffer because they all gave me the reason, I various melee fights, I could not win, I won the case, then all they needed my support to operate and sell and be well with 


themselves, had the heroin for free, meet me, because he values ‚Äč‚Äčspectacular, was a companion and a friend and defended the cause, but one thing was very angry that nobody contradicted them were in heroin use. They all learned to respect me guys were the life of crime, everyone knew where we were placed in the middle, were respected, they themselves hated me, offered me heroin to go and study, was the only way that they thought I had to have a healthy occupation and learn, was the continuation of the cycle of consumption was feeling well, was used to and took me to want to feed me and have sex, it was the perfect way to spend time in seclusion without me upset with the problem of having sex and feed me. 
I was transferred to Valley of Jews in 1998, I was taking a course in carpentry, not the conclusion I reached after ten months I returned to the lineup. 
I went straight to the punishment was the so called 111 the tough regime, where we expect an investigation that might place in sanctions or disciplinary consequences, paid, paid the price to claim a right that I had was to have TV, radio but to me they took me back, and everyone knew everyone's name that called to my 


Television, Susan had been offered to me by my mother, was spectacular as always had the television in my cell. Sometimes invented, took it strove it, rented it to consume power in the days when I felt weak, but had an undying love to her, would be willing to kill if someone spoil me, I did this a few times I did not feel well. 
I got in 111 was heard by the prison warden, the chief Amorim descendant of Mozambique, but Portuguese, a tall but skinny, was not a bad guy just wanted the territory dominated, wanted it quiet, that's how he told me to leave talk like this or we are bored, I said yes it could be upset were willing, at the time that was left in the boss's office, or your desk, as did service for many years, the guard Baptist drank a lot, but honest, did not intend the evil one was like the boss wanted to have a well-being, was surprised by this guard, tried to attack me failed, there were a few more guards who were there on site, and saw PBX confusion, they surrounded me tried to attack me again, failed, lasted a few more minutes, but the insistence of them was my strength, that was when a guard came already the home of his 50 years, the Iron Guard, spoke me, 


told me to stop and no one would harm me, but I had already attacked the guard and Baptist prison warden, the chief Amorim, they caused no major dent, he knew he would lose, so he told me, you'll be handcuffed to safety flag, was handcuffed by the presence of the head, it is ordered that he ordered the guard Iron and drove me to the flag of security, the boss told me to take the handcuffs and told me to get inside the cell, as would be under security until the investigation is completed. 
Honestly, I gained respect for man, man was the chief, gave example of how the institutions that represent the forces of repression, should be well controlled at all, to make everyone feel good. For me the most was the head man I ever met, fulfilling punishment as would be logical, would have to pay for the act itself, but also won their respect, they let themselves to meddle directly in life, that of having to survive, even within the chain you live, I called him the inhospitable place, being identical phrase itself, to a place where there is nothing, we only live to live, but we believe, had heard the murder, there have been several marea√ß√Ķes, this word is slang for use in crime, that is to say murder itself, so I had already committed some situations that could fall ill in prison, accompanied 


to Hugo Rasta, Rasta is nicknamed, came with 16 years inside the prison, lived in the neighborhood of the Hungarians I met him at a time when it meets a penalty flag on security, I saw a couple already had several years of linen, and caught a contact with him 
Give me a cigarette, but I left it to see it because we were muitashorasfechados, foiumconhecimentode fact, was a moment, well had seen him there, he was there in the B wing, the wing considered murder, he was on the wing , a quiet ward, housed prisoners who worked and wanted to be calm in jail, but there were consumers, dealers and there was still a prisoner who is now the name is Dolphin, I will explain his story, he came to me, quickly I saw that first time I met him, he was shrewd, good dude, but he had also taken a wild childhood, the way the parents did, back to Cape Verde, I seek a better life, the historical ties that exist knowledge and perceived as such had the hardness of having lived, not leading a life that was very easy, they had to live in the neighborhood of Hungarians, a neighborhood with mostly people coming from Cape Verde, the construction of the houses were not very good, but they offer the minimum conditions of not sleeping on the street, having a roof, for more misery 


had education that is, the houses were kept clean and had a storage of one who had a real education, but there is, there was social inequality, had to work hard and these people are good people, they liked to indulge their children, but not had time for them, they had to work to make an honest living, wellness, and is itself sometimes can cause the removal of a shock, children begin to grow, spend time away from parents, the legitimate power of attorney when would be great to have an independence, have a self-sufficiency, seeking what was good, but fell into drugs, was equal to a contact that I had while serving punishment, but later let go, as I lost visual contact and as there was, had time to have a more direct contact, I do not remember him, but he came to me was in ward B and made a lot of sports and he passes me and asked whether he would play cards, play the gob, typically , Cape Verdean, and won him friends there, but came to last for much longer, lasts until today, but then he has already consumed heroin, and that's when I remembered I had already seen the superintendent, did business there is dark, the black market where everything is all right, provided that no harm to anyone, was angry at a time that saw the first sight that the kid was smart, had a soul, its appearance had a rasta 


large, 
wild, but treated well, that was the image of the first moment when I saw him, and realized it was a boy in the eyes of society, was seen as such, the outlaw, the man who lives on the margins of society, but all we like to have a well-being ensured in order to ensure we can to guard our welfare, equality, human dignity which is to say that we all live with all this we have created, but we also know that goes well side by side with evil, the actions which this may bring the most difficult way to live, he had been moved from wing to wing The pair B, was in the cell next to mine, he was with the Tiquinho in the cell, another Cape Verde, Bravo also was already in jail for a while, then you know it, knew he was in jail already for some time, were to have different histories, later will relate the story of Tiquinho that morning after night of the transfer Tiquinho returned to the ward, had made an agreement with the board, putting in the work to another bull's head, another expression is also used in slang that means letting the other hang, for him to save himself, was not bad was seen within the middle and we got along well, but Hugo was in ward B, the window that night talked pudemo contact us so we were very close, and hear a lot of noise in the cell, called my attention within the chain have to have the perception of 


danger is that what makes us live and that helps us win, brings us the heart of wanting to be the soul that we all like to embody a strong soul full of courage and skill and cunning. 
On that night before the next morning, we talked for 
window, as I heard noises asked: 
- Who's there? 
He had heard noise that happened, he told me: 
- I'm Hank, I'm here more Tiquinho. 
It was the way to attest, by the fact that they had committed the same day they were transferred to B wing, was routine was then he told me when they open the doors in this case the cells come with me to the ward, but said me to be quiet, but I thought, it was the Hugo, was the star, was the man of the moment, I was addicted to heroin, required to provide it with drug dealers out of money, was an obligation, he required it, a rebellious boy in a huge, that's when the assault happened, I left the door open is not off, but knew he would, knew he had some embers in the ward, also slang word of the coals, you can understand how in the jargon of the crime a routine occurrence for those who walk 


rain wets himself. 
After leaving the cell, did my normal routine of taking breakfast and then go train, go to school, go to school that morning's breakfast, not strange to see them because this was my routine was to seek too, was hooked, but it was not truly addicted, but I had already done some assaults and had already extorted money during the morning came after me, boys who were also consumers were called piranhas, sought a way of life more honest, but always tricky because the addiction also led them to this, Hugo was for the safety flag with Tiquinho, but there appeared another Ze ball, Angola had never lived in Chelas good "feeling" with him because he have given some pants of a tracksuit, the Emilio neighborhood high and he wanted to steal the Emilio, he knew that my pants were already had caused me several times but I never called, never gave importance they had a big fight Emilio neighborhood High grew even around the block top was fresh, we were in the same building and he wanted to defend what was mine either, I wanted to defend the honor of being parochial terms of a bond of childhood, then followed by several others, the Prophet, also from neighborhood and it was there that took the big fight: Z√© was sturdy ball weighed about 90 kg., Emilio 


was a boy dry, typical African as it was thinner defended the honor, he faced the situation, Ze ball wanted him to send the 3rd floor was where his discussion, it was not easy, but he knew he had the cunning to live and having to survive the issue. After Ze ball had taken the pants of a tracksuit and being with them in hand, argued, and I knew that Emilio would win, but never thought it would end up like Ze ball wanted to send him the 3rd floor, grabbed his legs, Emile has done what he learned in the latter case, I who have to save me, grabbed his neck forced him to break, ie when it grabs the neck not wide, it had a handrail faces or enters the cells, as anything and did not offer great security, in this case became the unpredictable, from the first moment I thought they were going to fall, that is predicted to advance the action, but then I thought and still had a few seconds after I saw and thought and predicted that it would not happen, but it happened, the Emilio grabbed his neck and not let go more, and the force that the ball did Joe, he has combined forces two monumental not flee when they're right, it was always that our education, fell from the third floor until I thought the damage was greater, even thought some of them could die in that situation, but fortunately saved themselves, the force of reason always wins I think that's life, I ran a bit now to the subject, for 


to explain the entire journey was made, within this context that we will always meeting people, let's keep the contacts is because they help us talk to discuss situations where everything nice is seen and done so, we even have a life linked to addiction, but we feel good because we are dependent on the drug, but people who are debating issues in numerous different themes, from the most banal theme, from the simplest to the football as more scientific, then we can read enough to discuss , has always been our strong view, and sometimes left behind over here just wanted to show why I say that I never had good "feeling" with the ball Ze, Ze ball broke the arm, Emilio not happened to you all, was unharmed, but was sleeping at the hospital that day for prevention. Ze ball was still about 3 weeks in the prison hospital, they put him in the platinum arm, the illness was greater than he had, I was sincerely glad to see that got away, I forgave you the action, but I know I left there with a grudge me, but we have understood the situation, let him walk. 
That was the day in the morning, would be maybe a 11 in the morning which also Ze ball had gone to the flag of security, I knew that Hugo was with him, had seen him a few times, they were in the pavilion security 


and led to tougher punishment of prison facilities is called lame, is the isolation, do not you have anything of his cell unless the basic things, you have a towel, you have some sheets, you have to read a book, you can not have lighters cell and you are closed 23 hours a day, it's hard to overcome, but eventually get used to us by these sanctions, because we have passed it before, being in punishment, the punishment being in that situation to live, but liked to live that way, we knew who walks in the rain wets himself. 
All this was bad and that they had fulfilled the punishment and things would stay that way, but not the Hugo assault stabbed twice in the Dauphin in the stomach, treated the bad man to steal the little thing, a few grams of heroin and about 30 stories, would be about 10 grams, a man who was to pay the price for its nickname Dauphin, the paws, paws because he was arrested for assault on the convoy, made a dead, was widely reported and known at the time, an assault top, because it involved a lot of money, it was an exorbitant amount at the time the trains were carrying the money from the banks between Sintra Lisbon. The robbery happened around the same exit of the train to Sintra and Lisbon was one dead, but never managed to prove that it was he who committed the crime of murder, never 


able to prove that he was the real leader of the murder but was convicted and along its route prison led several raids with him came and picked up the drug, he could not win the drug to anyone, that is, he sold, he kept the drug itself, he arranged safe inside the jail, just for a Chibadela they could get there, but this is for now. 
As he had the nickname of the paws, he was given that nickname because he did not spin anything to anyone, not given to anyone, he knows that one can hand wash the other, or he could give the win, could help when people asked him for help and Hugo was a headstrong, he was hooked. There followed a sequence after these events, Dolphin was transferred to Coimbra, Tiquinho Valley Jews, however I too, were in 1998 more specifically June 27th, I had already separated from Hugo he was in another cell, there were factors which led them to do so, others who sought his own teammates were piranhas, because every day stole about 30 to 40 grams for smoking and consumed, the crowd attracted by the fact that they are always targeted, is called the sequence of drug abuse and was then when he went lame, we decided that we would stay in the same cell, but these bitches always spoke 


woe is me, because to them I was more a bump in the road, had taken them leeway because they knew I was the real bitch, drew friends knew because I give the living. 
He knew me give the context of the interaction of situation and it was such people who lived with me in the circumstance of the moment, said something bad about me, spoke ill of me, get everything in order to take advantage of what the kid arranged, they wanted their attention to and they wanted the spotlight on them so that they could be the well being, or having a hangover ever taken, I did not bother with it knew that life was so good and everybody wants to be grateful for your income for benefit own, but they were always the ones that I ever needed, they also needed me, we become a united force, or are insured if they wanted any assault would have our help, but it also would have to pay and that was the height I was moved to take a course in Valley Jews, had two or three months of operation when the Rasta Hugo was transferred to Valley Jews arrived I received him as a brother, the friendship that has kept him there are four wards in Valley Jewish wards A, B, C and D, I found myself in the D, was on the wing with the Dauphin had been transferred to Coimbra worth of Jews and that was when I told Hugo that he wanted to remain 


in my cell, he wanted, only that there was another issue that he was afraid, because he was trying to kill the Dauphin on the line, besides having given him two stabs wanted to send the man on the 3rd floor down here and his cousin, the Benedict, prevented from doing so, but he did not want to be with me in my cell, not because they wanted to, but feared the vengeance of the Dolphin, had already done several things in jail, had respect, he was a man who was known as revenge easily such, but I told him forget that man is not going to avenge you, no one will succeed, had a good relationship with the Dauphin told him several times that did not like what you did and he had told me that already had forgotten. 
I was taking the course, and these transfers came from what happened in a sailing Linh√≥ Hugo Rasta and Cadet were defendants in a case of murder that happened in Linh√≥. We were very young people who had come from the line could mention all their names, but I will only mention the name of some, Tiquinho, the Johnson, the real football player, representing all the selections from the jail where he was or had passed, Toni Seagull, had been transferred by also having made several assaults on Linh√≥ traffickers, was also Z√© T√≥, that I had had enough with him, was not arrested, I lived with him under the same roof, with some 


girls chavalas I had my he had his. 
But curiosity has reversed this story to me, walked with a girl who ate horse and she prostituted themselves for that matter were the two prostitutes, did not like living in a dependent wife, but I liked it so far as to live with it. I only used cocaine at the time, did not accept it very well use heroin and cocaine, but kept the relationship, he liked her and Z√© T√≥ and Ana were also drug addicts and curious of this story is that I always said Z√© T√≥ for him to leave the horse, always said it would not consume heroin, later came to me to indulge in the chain and in that time I was in the valley of the Jews, there were a Rasta, the Tiquinho lived up good times, there were plenty of great stuff on the market, or words, there were a lot of drugs and worth of Jews is a respected chain, where many men sentenced to maximum and always had a reputation as a dangerous chain, have always existed and murders occurred there, so it was a heavy chain with a reputation . 
How much material had all wanted to sell in the market to be provided with more material, then begins the contest between the Dauphin and the real Pinocchio found himself arrested for international drug trafficking, 


as was the ringleader and the man had already a record chains from north to south of Portugal, and was there that he started again he did not want to see or know. The Pinocchio Hugo paid the large amount of drug to beat the Dauphin, he went at it violently assaulted the man in the dressing room, all for reasons of jealousy, the Dauphin was selling packets of them were larger and weaker, which is why the Pinocchio paid to beat the Dauphin. 
It was an event that was not very nice, but the time has come, but also had an internal register and had already served multiple punishments, I started having problems, I began to be persecuted by an individual nicknamed Marcao, he found himself caught for murdering his brother, and how I needed to smoke every day began to make collections and was one of those collections that appeared Marc√£o not want to let me take the money, stood in the right as there was one year more than I rode it I wanted the bar that is preventing me not to take money from the collection, because he had money to get there too. We had an exchange of words in which he showed the physical power, but nothing happened I went out with om me money, but this was the first to win an enemy, got to do a football game in which game was on a volume of tobacco to the team that won, he was in the opposing team I was finding it 


me playing with the guys who had come from the line, the mine was made by Toni gull, Jorge, and Luis Z√© T√≥ athletes and we were playing and we knew we wanted to win or that it had underestimated the opponent and that was happened, we lost, we lost the game because I was the head of the bet, had committed to my television in the greed to make a volume, it had committed to Ramon, the gypsy, had long record was a hit man in the middle, not as said he did not want to lose pay, they are all bugging me and demanded the amount of tobacco, but were silent, then, that this was such a Marc√£o continued to say that he wanted the volume and accepted because he had no reason had been the combined game, was an athlete, always fought for the right and to avoid problems like this when I had to avoid. Continued, but that guy always went with trying to provoke me, there is a day that was to go to the carpentry course, that was why I had gone there to the valley of the Jews on that day the inevitable happened, the guard I was opening the cell, it was unusual for me to stay in jail, but was frustrated that day, did not have enough drug was smoked out by grad√£o to descend to the course and I'm going Marcao asks me, gave me a shove because as I was frustrated and as there had been history, provocative subject for me, I hesitated not deliver a punch and he reacted, but not 


hypothesis had already had studied, was a fighter, but he was desperate to provoke what happened, it was sensational, or not fulfilling any punishment because it was there that day the ward chief, Eduardo, was his name, a man about two feet tall, physically strong, he was an honest man, was a straight man and let things like that. 
I continued on the course always alert to any assault by him, as I was aware he had taken some time to provoke me, and as such, warned me that we all have instinct, common sense has called women's sixth sense, but men also have it. The sixth sense is the unexpected, is being able to play and know and respect, nothing happened after that, I tried to follow the lead but could not because my heart was strong, was provided by Hugo Rasta, one of the most respected men in time I lived in seclusion, not only considered the first because the first I; everything he learned, the courage he showed, I already had the bravery and I had already past, absorbed, absorbed the courage to know that there was a warrior, a loyal man, a poet, a man who loved poetry, but even here I was better than him. He liked to hear, I wrote several poems, one dedicated to him 

I was the best, was the charismatic figure of the times he ran, he was cunning, was strong, was uninhabited, got revenge in the middle, where she lived with the rest of the prison population, I got many, but it was all peaceful people, people who worked but I do not. When I stopped working and took the course, I became what I do not want to become the lion of darkness, went back to the line, was where it all progressed to my advantage because I had come home where I'd been and he had mastered, there was confirmation of my being a rebirth of the field I've ever had in that house because it had maintained the respect, it was hard to chew, so I decided to look for easier ways to survive the difficult I had found. 
It is a chain of central Lisbon, housed all kinds, children of mothers who are in life, some have embarked on the crime by coincidence, others have worn the crime of conscience, there was always a good factor, well, he feared nothing else but me same as it had already done everything from being the good friend, protector, mediator, one who understood all situations, which were bitter, which were said by those who vented to me, because I felt great compassion, had taken the sense of unity and not go into the disappointment. I went on my way to get a conditional but still lacked 


some time to take advantage of the conditional, I made a decision I will not do anything to harm me, but I'll work for free, everything has become complicated because they faced a well structured command by direction, but I could have won everything with this direction. At the time did not accept that the reason he was taken in this direction would be so hard, was an authoritarian regime, it was not to accept the scheme, intended to rid myself of jail faster, but became even more difficult, but I leave for later readers to understand an entire route can I never tire of repeating, hard nut to crack, as well was at the time of transition T. Manuel, the director I had found, was replaced by John G. the man who had come to Macau, a former inspector of the Judiciary, a man who had already experienced an attack by the mob that was established in Macau, dubbed 24K, some guards were killed on the job because it belonged the Portuguese administration, then why send reinforcements public to serve the nation. 
He suffered the attack, escaped, but his bodyguard was killed, rose, came to the administration of Linh√≥, straight man, he liked me when he saw me, told me to tell you that he had confidence in me, but I did not care because he had notion of transformation of being, considered myself the king 


scorpion, one that has poison in the blood, and not called him for not calling, I lost. 
It started in a punishment cell at least housing was a chastisement, it was not hard, it was considered a punishment usual to the rhythm sociable within the chain, but for me it became a nightmare, not accept such punishment. Director John G. went to my cell to talk with me, help me, I did not accept such aid, was suspicious of the belief that he had, as was right, he demanded in exchange for a direct collaboration of what he wanted to know, I was not willing to do that as it was never for me to collaborate on these services, but it was proof of how it was a good man. This punishment, the worst came, had taken two psychotropic drugs, at my window were: the hunter, and Chibango Piranha was the hunter who gave me the two psychotropic drugs, has a degree of service, was the man who had taken me to be in the punishment cell, Sampaio was his name. As the effect of psychotropic drugs was still in me, angered me to see Sampaio pass in front of my cell, I broke the whole cell, I came to the mattress fire, went out when the guards were helping me, I fled and went into the courtyard, I took a stick and two rocks and had written on her right arm, revenge, desire cruel. That day was willing to kill the guards or whoever it was that 


meddle in my way, but they were smart as usual, come talk to me, they had no other choice, because they knew I was enraged and had an entire wing to defend myself if I so proclaim, but I was not by my account, not as knew fight without reason, after a few hours accepted for redemption, that is, the period when the negotiations ended and so I do not quite fulfilled, I accepted what they gave me 20 days of disciplinary cell, that is lame, because that's where I met Alfredo M., PSP, ex-goe, trickster was parochial, took the state to perform duties as such, to start the function in the mob, was a hard man because I had been boxing champion heavy medium, I knew him well, and so it was that when I fell in a disciplinary cell, had an episode that did not want and that you could have taken his life because he had a history with blacks who had come to fulfill disciplinary sanctions, was a time mad, I knew what was going on about what happened and had said aloud that I would not papar such number to be beaten by him, because the direction was uncertain, the mob was made of all blacks who fell in punishment and have committed or taken some punishment due to disregarding the guards or services, employees or direction, they would pay by Alfredo M., he had been ex-psp, ex-cop, and I knew many of them already knew how such, but the blare 


and talk directly with the Marine, gave me the cane, I fell in punishment, I knew that Alfredo M. would take me, but that was when I was wrong. They tried to kill me when I headed to the spa to shower, could not, with him were two cops on the protection that did nothing against me. It was then that I showed the will of my reason for living, had been inculcated as a matter of being parochial, for it had I lived in the neighborhood. 
Soon I lost my father, I became an adult soon, it came to pass that after I took in life, there are is transcendent experience is the future, she falls on the livelihood of creation and when it is hard, we are obliged education to have a more severe early demonstrably behind what no one wants to be desired. 
That was when we had passed the stage of Marcao, that was when I started wanting more reason, had to take a decision at the level of partner, and the direction, but I knew in the middle intruded surveillance that was composed by guards and managers, managed, and managed to get to meddle in another being, but that was nothing more than a being like me, sometimes it's a matter of opportunity, I sought, I try and try to have the soul of the Lusitano, I'm descended Lusitanian breed of brave race, 


has led the world, it is obvious there is heredity. Sometimes we make the following question, why we exist, what are we, where we live, are issues that bring the question to live, but we know we must win, was all set to be so, I continued, my path prison, then later Marcao of the fight was followed by the appearance of the group that made up the monitoring services called prison guards, got good individuals, picked up everything, but they also sincerely wanted to live alone, never wanted to harm me and I wanted to ignore, there is, sooner not learned that you can not always win, was in inhospitable place, a place where life was worth nothing, had no interest in valuing the real sense of the man who is not serving. 
Serve, serve all he had to serve, I was obedient, he knew that the political authorities, social power, the repressive power there is always something we must learn to forgive. I could have been hailed a hero for them, return to the valley of Jews being expelled from the course, return to the valley Jews, to head online to find the same because they were not what I wanted to find, I rebelled against everything and everyone for everything that had happened, was done well, I lived with all that I might have to do to have to survive everything that could confront because the enemies were powerful 


the machines were all-consuming, were nicknamed the piranhas, or had to survive at all, there was a diplomatic party, the establishment of relations, ie we have an educator, have an assistant, a psychologist, a doctor and a lawyer , so we really worth it if there is nothing to say. 
Just live the moment the circumstance of the moment, are mere humans who meet at their pleasure and I love, platonic love that stand in the way of being, in this case a man had already had all the pleasures of life, loved one woman who still remains in my mind in my soul in my life, a passion was intense, longer lasting relationships that may exist, which are extended. Loving, fun, loving being is the need to love being at your leisure to survive. 
The report is right to be the last circumstance, since everyone knew me, they wanted me to put to the test, I faced all that had to be able to cope, from nightmares, who learned before the bedtime stories are told from the father and mother; so we can live in harmony and wellbeing in order to prevail the welfare and power-we preserve the gifts of the heritability of the beginnings of being, although it is absorbed by the size, the vastness is immense if we speak of unity, equality rights 


be. We have all been charged with a mission, it persists, will continue to grow, continue to watch it grow, with determination, accuracy of the moments of action, it will have to have accuracy. It is about forgiveness, life continued as it had to continue and picked us honest, truthful, everything was great, got us capable of anything, were determined to everything because I had the sense to live as they had, but they wanted to be smarter , overtook them at all, I was able to combine their cleverness to me by my wisdom, were shrewd, but always wanted to be more than me, but I combine their cleverness, was able to play, also played with knowledge of them with my . Continue living in seclusion, secluded, it was a tough time for most beauty I could see for more compassion than I had to have, knew that the way was an exit. Never meant to hurt anyone, just wanted to let me live, then I left for the battle that was constant, they were all strong, all were human, but I wanted to know this, nor had anything to do with the rest of the story that goes pass. I was hard for my teammates, for all of them, not only picked anyone he wanted to maintain the hierarchy of prison and kept all obey me if I so chose, but I also let them live, was my way, I drug for smoking and they could walk well, some have cried myself to stop because the way I was brave, a very rough road 


to do inside the prison, had no other choice, was no escape, win or die. 
It was all done by the conviction that I took, I managed despite all that, finding the hard way, I knew I could leave in the middle of the penalty, would know that it could also leave at the end of the sentence, I reversed it, or not bother, because it was good, the chain had under my command, were all my teammates, that's when I raged over the meaning of being, he knew he had allies. Pursue the path of evil, was interpreted as such, I thought I was the lion, but was addicted to heroin, a hard thing to do, to consume. I went out to fight the battle that is like none other, I faced: judges and teachers and assistants, head guards, sometimes benefited from them, but not many, but not enough to say he was fine, because the follow-up question brought me a problem, the biggest problem of all being am or am not, want or not want, or everything that we can aspire to, was the continuation of everything I had learned, even better, had lived a situation after the separation from my father and my mother. My father was a soldier, my mother at the time not worked, then came to work cleaning and the Curry Cabral, still works there. He loved my mother, I learned to live with my dad, or lived, but I 


always in doubt, because he had good character, ie the character was inconsistent, was serving in the military was the Portuguese, I craved more, ie more than what he built. However it has come to heredity, better explaining the habituation to be small, we always take note that whoever gives us, is what all philosophers have said, the approach to parental example, because the example given to us when he is born example to follow for those who put us into the world, this case will be a global event, with father and mother, was the conclusion of the work I grow up. I became what I am, one to be humble, peaceful life that you know, I'm considered a kind, one that walks and has to eat, I became the true beast, never faced jail in the same way, I became the perfect killer of all situations because he was to live, and they knew I was willing to kill to live, choosing as always the real kind, one that dominates all situations, I swore to myself that I would do them harm if they do not cause harm. I went on, furious, always attentive to all movements or reactions, they were who they were, the overall level of companions, at the direction of everything that encompasses the whole being into the world of justice, for all that I paid a hard price to pay for all this was all happening in my office, everyone knew me and I also 


everyone knew, was the perfection of the game, was the union, the union of those who live and is in daily contact with the population, regardless of the situation, as Tiger did not know was that forgiving, I feared they were actually respectful for me, was not doing anything, we are talking about a prison, we are talking of many things, includes a value that is difficult to win, Liberty, unless you do not have to go through the most difficult situations of life vicia√ß√Ķes, dwellings that can bring exaggeration when speaking of consumerism, consumerist somo beings, so I became the invincible beast selftitled me of a lion, fought beasts like me, with wisdom even harder, but I could not forgive. 
He knew he had many children of the mother and the life experience had been different, some had been fathered by good people and others were children of poor people, as all this I wish to confirm the presence of all that society has to give, let go similar situations without doing anything, one needs to welfare, we live in a society where everyone wants good, yet it is the beauty of seeing the near proximity, if you come for good, you'll get well if you come by evil , will receive you and bring forth evil with everything, my whole being evil, but also know I have to walk, can not be so hard, they are more than 


mothers, I also had to respect, implanted a rule for all being well, knowing that crime persists and the need is great, let me take the events, I became the so-called drug addict, who all despise, but had value and was recognized, nobody, nobody would miss the connection, regardless of the weakness he felt at the time. They all cheered and respected me, they wanted me more, would be the case, it would be kinder, more gentle and affectionate. 
I paid the price for not showing them what they wanted to see me, I went hard, I was rude, I was all in favor of my decision and could have won more, could even benefit from more on everything, like me, reached me starting up his own dreams, but I became furious and wanted to be. It was under the living situation of entrapment, isolation, had all women were also overwhelmed with platonic love, love them, love them. 
It was all a matter of living in the moment, I had great passions and platonic love also to the point of contact, but I always avoided ruin someone's life for personal pleasure I get, I did not need it, I was hooked, not would ruin anyone's life if not spoil mine. Continued love, continued 


to love as being just knew they were all belonged to my love, because they loved me sincerely respected me, I do not live well, she was arrested, I knew I had to fight to win everything that was lost, freedom, but that was when I was unable to stop, directions, assistants, teachers, guards wanted me to tame, he would have understood, but I also had to stop, stop all the stealing, the consuming, unhappy life of another, but I was always good, never cruel to them, never spanked anyone unless she had reason to do so and even if he had would be difficult for me to do, for humanity itself, always took into account the moral values, the values ‚Äč‚Äčof each scene, because I am being, but they knew they would have the biggest beast ever found, but it was all planned by me, because I wanted so I left them in the hope, in fear that they will lose. It was all business hours, was an expedient to raise consume and dominate, soon realized that, even before entering the jail, were difficult times, that day never passed, I had years to comply, because he had mastered control the situation that came next, I came to play, but the joke was I doing guy. Because the monkey to play, play the monkey was the cunt mother, I was dying in a game, because I knew dominate. Was exercising the day, wanted to train a bit and I suggested him to come train with me, 


was a low figure, it was just for fun, squeezed her neck, he lost consciousness, but at that moment I felt a grip on me I did not want to do, as was being shown, played, looked at him and he got up walked with me, I told him if everything was OK, no response at odds, but when I looked I got the feeling that they really had passed something, he lost consciousness. Was an excess of confidence, did not know my strength and then she started an inferno that had already had, I got up and looked at him and told him: 
- Are you okay? You left me worried. 
Whenever I showed him compassion for the moment, not meant to hurt, I looked it wanted to appease all evil, it had misunderstood the training, it was exaggerated on my part, he eventually killed himself, was all in hopes of one day in Valley Jews. 
I was hoping that in the valley of Jews would live, was a simple fun for me, or was a training which I was not ready, my strength was at its height, dominated, because he knew dominate, but as in life has its price, I paid a heavy price for remaining in the chain man, stick to 5 / 6 of the penalty, or any 


recluse since a sentence of more than six years can enjoy the 5 / 6, is a law. 
But we have a means of punishment, some 2 / 3 and then follow the 5 / 6. I left at 5 / 6 it was a program done for my biography of life in prison, locked up, dealt with good people, people with whom I dealt were part of the leadership, people until I could love if they wanted, then since tobacco and did not pass then I felt an immense hatred for those people. They were people who told me nothing, only by their own leadership roles he played. There was a deputy that I was dear, was the first woman to challenge me, I was loyal, but then I thought it was wrong that I refused to probation in the first 10 years in prison. She did not appreciate me and demanded my testing of the drug consumption, but it was too astute to realize that it would stay that way, I was granted probation after a request I made to Dr. Judge. She gave me four days of probation, subject to be heard by leadership, and ordered them up, Doc judge gave him four days of probation, extended on the condition of doing drug screening test, ie the maneuver, they always knew, and I underestimated him many times, but always respected him, because she deserved my respect. Beings who were 


played his best role, but it happened, because the test was positive for opiates, ie heroin, cannabis, hashish consumption, but I played in my favor when I put the application, I argued that everything had to plead for it was consumer had asked my doctor for a medicine Ana F., it was under or over a heated argument that you seek help, for everything that she had helped me, I asked him the drug, Tramal, was the moment when I felt I had an ally Dr. Anne F. Tramal accused or the opiate of the routines in the circumstances, this was the situation that would be clean. Had accused opiates in drug screening test, it was there that combine 2 +2, ie cleaned of screening for drugs through my doctor, she helped me, passed the document to claim the issue, the screening of drugs as I appealed the decision was made, was to use my right, and applica resorted to the highest instance court judge Dr. enforcement of penalties, is the highest for prisoners are sent in freedom, enjoy the benefit of the middle of the pen 2 / 3, there has been a battle there, physically assaulted a prison guard, was not because I wanted to, he sought my fame was a great fullness in prison, respected, but also built this respect, respect , to observe knew 


I could not play against the system. The system prevails in itself because there has to be social, all that we might want, the well-being, decisions were different, I had everything, everything in my power to be able to enjoy the middle of the pen 2 / 3, as My fame was wide in the middle of the guards and in the midst of his companions, guards who had also wanted to challenge myself and all the psychological, physical, and everything else you can think of because I knew that could happen in the institutions that had to follow, are called audition in the middle of the sentence 2 / 3 and 5 / 6 also, the request was based on the cleanliness of my report addressing the issue of screening for cannabis; this application to Dr Judge said that the analysis had accused Chamon or hashish, but as I am a social being, never lived in protections in the chain, ie had me relate to the rest of the prison population and told the judge that Dr. I did not eat anything at the time, only has resulted in the hash, so it was I followed with logical if people who ate and lived in a closed space-mos, it was usual to accuse hashish because I breathed the air. They bumped me to the decision of probation because it was at Christmas time, and doctor judge was going to pass out two weeks 
, Ie, Christmas break, but she gave me the reason and gave me the precarious almost two and a half months was a long time of anguish, as aspired to get out of precarious because 


I was inside for many years, ten years. But put up with and overtook me well until the day of leaving poor, gave me four days out of prolonged poor, why was completed successfully. But it would be a harder issue for me because it would have to be more respectful and not get in trouble, but as soon as I entered, passed two months after having taken the poor, I wish someone would disrupt life and it happened. I became involved in a fight in which the boy was a bit poorly treated, but he was lucky to be an individual, be an individual with a repertoire of man, we were locked in their cells, the order of inquiry, we heard this, I sent you a paper to apologize for what he did not stuck, there was no need for it. We listened, we heard the chief, was the German shepherd, nicknamed him, at first he did not want to hear the boy, because he said it could not be, could not have been a hoax because he had tried to give me with a knife. Then there's got to accept the version of the boy and called me and I told him the same version that was a workout, a game that could have ended badly, he does not take very kindly to the version I had told him , ie a guard as he was hit, I had many years of service and dealing with "casdatrolas", ie is the name given to those who already have many years in jail, nothing happened to me, nor me, nor the boy , took us from the punishment. 


Continue a normal life, I began to avoid further problems, I could enjoy more success with four outputs precarious, and there arose again in March 2007, failed me 
11 days for you to enjoy a longer probation at the entrance of April, I had fooled with an individual drug, that is, gave her sand instead of the real stuff, it came to load, I could not harm but would sanctioned this time, had already been warned, I limited myself to defend and things got there. 
But one problem never comes alone, I missed it, was what happened in the stems of this reason, what took place could not have unfolded, a riga again, but this time I would not get away, I would cut the poor and was That's what happened. I called a guy to my cell to get information because this guy also did not like my way of being, and vowed the man who gave me the information, Nuno Maluco, a true warrior, he also enjoyed poor like me, you had sworn by my nephew, I would not do anything, just wanted to know the name, insisted during a full day on the promise that nothing would do, we were almost at closing time of the cells, called the guy to my cell I asked the reason he is walking the talk of something that had not 


seen, he denied that I knew I would never Nuno Mad lie in this situation, was one of the men who have always respected because he was a true warrior, I felt angry at him and deny deny Nuno. Assaulted him and was at the time the guard came into my cell and sees the man lifeless on the floor, the punch that struck him, but the guard saw nothing, only saw the fallen man could not say anything without having seen, but this Guy was a chibi, it is that it would complicate my situation, but even then I knew I would never get away very well, because I never had anyone Chiba, and they me, the direction, the leadership were willing to punish me for everything because I never shut up in the claims that prisoners were to claim whatever it was. I was always seen as such an incentive for these causes or forms of struggle and that was when I was given five days of punishment, do them in the cell, was a lighter punishment, I defended myself saying that the individual had felt ill and fell and he said his version of what had really been beaten up and this happens at a time that was about to be enjoyed my 
2 / 3. Had a great chance to get out there being nothing that would harm me, or no disciplinary action in the middle. But this time would even plead innocence when they were hearing for 2 / 3, said the lady doctor who was innocent, had not done any aggression, 


who did not take this into account, I felt hurt by the situation, but I waited for the decision and the decision was the possibility that I cut out the 2 / 3 passing directly can only benefit from further assessment, appraisal of my 
5 / 6 of the penalty, or obligation would leave us 5 / 6 because then the law favors, favored in this case would in any case in 5 / 6, but would cost almost 3 more years in prison, instead of leaving for the insistence of bringing an action to annul the decision of the judge to have Dr. reconsideration before the 5 / 6, it would have to walk for at least six months quiet. The punishment was given to me in March, was heard in May of that year for consideration of parole, had not yet come to the decision of the court of two thirds, that's when my life could have been further complicated, he felt me anxious, sad, but I also knew I had passed the bulk of my conviction. It was more a situation when it happened, this time with a guard, could be a situation that could have passed, but for the fact of custody have told me in a rough and hard, pay no heed to his orders, struck him a punch in the face, he was alone with me, but another guard appeared, he joined his colleague and very quickly joined me to attack me, you have not struck any more punch, they also quickly stopped from trying to attack me, just I was asked to go to the waiting room of the ward, heads came 


talk to me, asking what had happened, I told them that nothing happened, only that it had complied with the order, as the guard still bleeding from the mouth, they knew what had been an assault was how it was, in a simple assault or an accidental situation and was told that I had no reason to attack the guard, and even talked with him, also told them what had been an accident and it was with this matter I ever claimed to. 
They put me waiting for the investigation closed, call the security section of the valley of Jews, called for admission. But he was willing to go forward with my thesis that it really was an accident, could not admit it was an involuntary act, he lost. So I had to rely on the sense that they wanted to take this argument forward, had to be a contradiction between the guards. The guard was beaten milk, but he never really wrote that I assaulted him, who made the entry was the other guard, who had taken a boy there who was on protection, he had gone to the infirmary, too, is routine, being a prisoner in protection, must be accompanied by guards, actually I know he saw what I did, because he's seen everything, so it was that I made the contribution to be punished by a disciplinary tribunal that led me to also . 


But on the day that I heard in the public ministry, I got to know that a process has been initiated for an alleged assault on guard Milk, but who accompanied me that day was the guard Oliveira, the story keeps me this was a friendship that created within the prison, attended a course in office applications at computers, monitors had a call Lina, I fell in love with her without wanting and this guard, Oliveira, also liked her and took her to court. He knew I liked her and she liked me, so there began the tie, won me friends, could have spoken ill of me in order to want to stay with her, started talking to me anymore, and he will listen to my statements in public ministry, and he wrote down everything I had said, I have held the view that had been an accident, because I never would have imagined that this would help save me, was like me, after that it went to Monsanto , a chain which has been refurbished to a common jail for a string of high security, was there in May 2007 that the chain was opened, however I went to Monsanto for having to wait for the proceedings, a complicated chain was made for harboring terrorists , more violent crimes, organized crime, we are always watched, constantly because we live in a harsher regime, ie the principle prisoners 


were all handcuffed to leave the cell, had only one hour of recreation per day. But I only went there in May 
2008, also took to this scheme to spend much time locked in jail, but I have not got the handcuffs already picked up a regime that is not open, but we had other occupations, we had football, handball and gymnasium, we could also visit the library but it was all merged, it was not all on the same day. 
I was responding and I returned to defend the same argument, but when I left the van to drive me to the courtroom, I see that the guard Milk, the injured guard was accompanied by Oliveira and was far from imagining that it would have a lovely surprise when I started hear the testimony of the guard Milk, I heard the argument that I had held when I was asked in public ministry and that was when I felt that I had helped guard Oliveira. The court also claimed that they were not convinced it really was an accident, but did what it was required and there is no evidence to the contrary, nobody can be convicted. I was acquitted and my lawyer was excellent too, as had been awaiting trial in jail for high reliability Monsanto, made me an assessment, I lacked just two months to go free and transferred me to the IP of Alcoentre, there had already passed on that chain, I had a shipment that 

was following several claims that I had done in prison, is a chain of open regime prison colony called, when they missed me two months they sent me back to there, to go out on the street, I left. How great was my desire to be a chain of open system, because it took a year and a half at Monsanto and more occupations that we have here is a very closed regime. Difficult to overcome, even though I already had extensive experience in these houses and prisons was right there in that Monsanto dumped the heroin, it was impossible to get in there because it hinders drug staple food or anything that was outside, the visit had a glass that does not allowed physical contact, but always said to myself all the evil that happened to me had a benefit quit using heroin. *** END *** PINK FLOYD - Us and Them "Us and Them And after all we're only ordinary men Me and You God only knows It's not what we would choose to the Forward he cried from the rear And the front rank Died And the general sat And the lines on the map Moved from side to side Black and blue And who knows Which is Which and who is who Up and down And in the end it's only round 'n round Have not you heard it's a battle of words The poster bearer cried Listen son, said the man with the gun There's room for you inside "I mean, they're not gonna kill ya, so if you give 'em a quick short, sharp, shock, They Will not do it again. Dig it? I mean he get off lightly, 'cause I would've Given him a thrashing - I only hit him once! It was only the difference of opinion, But really. .. I mean good manners do not cost nothing to they, eh? " Down and out It Can not Be Helped That there's a lot of it about With, without And who'll deny it's what the fighting's all about? Out of the Way It's a busy day I've got things on my mind For the want of the price of tea and a slice The Old Man Died COPYRIGHT ¬© PINK FLOYD Publish your book with the LivroPronto Publisher This book was composed in Times New Roman has had its core printed Pollen Fine Paper 80g and 250g Cover Design Duo Printing & Finishing LivroPronto Graphics 02 Fragments Frag ments men Filipe Moura Publishing LP - LP-books.com Books Editor Responsible John Antonio Carvalho Production Editorial LivroPronto Review Alexandra Resende Diagramming LivroPronto Cover Rodrigo Rojas Fragments Copyright ¬© Filipe Moura No part of this publication may be stored, photocopied, reproduced by mechanical, electronic or any other form without the prior permission of the publisher. lp@lp.com Data Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication (CIP) (Brazilian Book Chamber, SP Brazil) Moura, Filipe. Fragments. / Filipe Moura - S√£o Paulo: LivroPronto, 2010. ISBN 976-85-7869-142 1. Poetry. I. Title S√£o Paulo, 2010 1st Edition filipe.sa.moura @ gmail.com Fragments I Cloistered in the frozen north and exposed a sheet old waiting to roll A light burned in orange tones A warm blanket and forgotten The soul that demands and tolerate the cold electrifying Memory of a loose, unbound and fictional existential, the sound spreads the hot pace of loose- Time to invade I And explore a world without heat hot On cooling, the atmosphere was not the same The ball rolls to a corner A point tilted under the ocean The surface, the interior of the magma escaldan you to explore the jungle and impress the Impressive leisure and not have another way of saying They are words, words hot or very cold as the corpse dark Very cold, frozen forever A dream of a hot spring and a valley, A river without a laugh hope mutilated waiting to find And show that eludes and alludes to build slowly and show only imagine what distance without And with the proper equation discusses the whole question Hot very hot, even scorching sound Guitar that vibrates with a thirst for culture He is born its fruit and more or less astute Resolve the situation without destruction Now existentially stopped, affected by Morbidity of words that convey the silence sur-Ten, who claim to care more Acuid This is to raise the suspicion of the unsaid But effectively transmitted Direction and writing. The whole truth is that there is trust between The thought and action way to find Through the conduct Tricks and maneuvers that generate the actual driver, and finds himself surrendered to the illusion of the word No sense dictates rightly It's unbelievable But any way have an underlying measure By sheer misfortune of inappropriate See grow and know what to do What a situation lacks any sense of his own description, vision or direction, often di- zemos not what we think and see who is doing it right and learn from others and with signals of equal or similar Or in the form of addition Here is an example of mission Any abstract sense of form unrealistic It was a truth in its totalistic Unit and fragmented nature but united In a world that is similar and as always We have the likeness but not his equal there would be a deep reason and lost in his own alienation, this is a character by way of being And feel the heat coming from the same inside You may like With a painter in a frame as straight as an architect, the absolute reason not final With that on any subjugation Or subversion of the imaginary From a simple reality that went with natural wit and sharpening unimportant, carried by the future that has everything from pure, as the reality of a tough month Unconsciously and considerably exer-tion in its ferocity the experience of a visor-tivated only imagine that when an image Captured here is a desolate time for the attention of Armed fragments Here it joins the conscious to this Invade me to be writing, not clear from Almighty As straight as the lines of a horizon where The sun sets and hides Dipped and asleep He saw himself defeated, but never regret For there to be born again and be as bright as it was the only one, the sun will keep our living Bright and energetic mood is set in motion in which all details are de-scribed only the slightest sensitivity to happen and memorize each word with its meaning and maintained the silence of his patience, a dark foresight, not planned, but mi-norada any non-rational instinct, being that pervades me I'm not He himself built and maintain the pillars as an Achilles, always present in the fictional world In which it stands, without someone to be attentive These spies are my I praise the reputation, the harsh reality, only Heat engines of the locomotive On this trip we do crazy and deep in the tunnel, may not return to see the inside of your so dark with the output of the image and order a light, waiting only for an end What motivates us and drives us And something as an unbreakable force fascin√°veis ‚Äč‚Äčas unreliable, difficult to know and never learn It was a web that breaks though, coming back to form a web, and how tough it was an accident in the narration, there was a deep shot that killed him at a young age, the underlying hatred But never indifferent to someone or your mind or any people, so in a way Smart told everyone that we are all in our sum, and that more people will Unlike similar and equal to its original character, in fact there is a puppet of any act and the number that represents a journey Lost in space the letters The art of creating space will own death In any period, the culmination was never the end, dying for us never happens It only happens to those who know us when we die and never know it was a word That was not so simple but ingenious A little sly as a fox who wants to feed a hunger to learn what is immeasurable, and always wants more knowledge, there is the source of longevity, never know what happens, but in the past and given guar-climber and was moved the faith of his riding-ded, and the limits are only the beginning From a cliff A youth of attitude, altitude outweighs any And when we go down and see how much we have achieved In the conquest only to know, be a little more And I never want to lose and all we get to fly At any point where it never fell for that, learn to fly and imagine Everything, but everything is Words Fragments, ideas and thoughts. Deep water so deep The arts of deceiving without alluding to a certain theme The salty air and appears as if by magic The lightness and energy Embebecido sentimental and tender a little Welcome to another addition of a single mo- ment Unmistakable and invincible ever since his victory was always his defeat and how they learned more Just to be a loser of a battle in which more than anything he says and feels the taste of those payment entitlements le slider to whom he gave victory, because we only need to learn to live and learn with everything that we reject. Fragments II Immersed, sunk in the distance a set of stairs Gnash the metal steps A cleaning rag, a bucket on the floor, squares, marble walls uni- of four, a drop by drop and fall into deep, slightly, someone shakes the floor Dim light, helpless, a just clog the surface A ray of light with shadow effect, reflected in the glass-a face, a look at the shattering, just a dive wreck, a buoy emerging that saves me from suffocation, crazy, escaped and lost Between stars and the emptiness of the abyss Virtue in terms of attitude, in the fullness of experience and being, before fear, then off the piano On the road passes through the lower tar The piano was on the floor and then touching the First sound, the first image the sound of the deep echo of emptiness that nothing of a fin In water, finally jumping bond mo- ment And everything that breathes and is dragged to a fading illusion, it was different, for a moment Profundez an ocean of liquid and salt writing pencil without color, was an actor The show culminates in celebration This one makes me happy, pajamas in bed, a bed shed Fizzy and different, it was not a landscape image, all inhalation, alte-ration of perception, and the transmutation was Clearly, no tears, no lines, no rules, without something missing everything in nothingness, a tale that not grow There appears, hardly tells us we are bound and, indeed, chains and padlocks on all sides A slingshot, a target is stunned and is like an arrow without effect and a tie in a knot A writing shed, incontinent, writing a blur, never cleared, all I saw wanted And who has always wanted to have, and the bottom would not be a sharp, cutting and rolled rough beard, a mustache just a hair, and another one Of each face, a touch of each insolvency Their sin, their timelessness to the Present and behold, only a total and only a rag in his bucket, a drop in the ocean, a wire tied and a written raped and torn apart, stretches Only texts on paper A brilliant night made an instant A sun radiating warmth and a tile-lumi nosa And a mirror to see different, then the slight illusion, a drop that fell on the floor And all without a no, then went to the surface Reading a tenderness in the tab-rag Fando A dip extends to reason And everything comes to the question, the glow intensity The feeling of the situation is evident that after desecrated and chained becomes free from any agency or signaling ... An open window curtain closed on A view of the theater stage itself A board, a lifeguard, that is the fortune, saved, then extended in the sand, I saw the earth and lived, ever since the time of the dive, all pride Glows and we went down to the bottom of a mun-do, to see just a song, make it in satisfaction, Suddenly a blow, a vision, we all live the reality of a premonition of something else would happen and would happen The spasm of liberated and awake to the being who feels and a letter From a sonnet never perfect Desnexada of a rhyme, ran a single sentence From that stage, so where would we Without going out and where we were Without entering, in line with the disappearance mysterious A powder in a dirt spot Illusion of truth in the whole comet explodes the imagination then, and live on this planet is not always bullshit, with a base suspicion The plot was set, the plan does not abort Then I hear a voice absorbed, and the howl of a wolf bill in history, the destruction of perfection was contained A rocket in a star beachfront So weird what had been said And I start to go down the stairs in the void A single drop of a step, then the metal rail was automatic and only one foot in the river, barefoot and cold, all that is does not seem to be Everything fades away and vanishes. All such and which is universal, then only one language, a mouth open for the pleasure-hungry kiss Behold kiss and desire, a bite of your eyes When your boat trip in touch And one really do with something that is not unrealistic but a guess, your nose petiz a hot sensation, and flies and conquer Pluto, his heart A stone in the pond A life apart A portrait is not always photographed Behold the madness that was going to have a sanity Went to the point where everything created and released a kiss waiting to be caught with a force Only from there, with a conviction, always tied to his heart, a desire to pump and From a current flow is thought In the box were four walls And a look of a filament for no reason just waiting to light up the strength, not fear, not wins or loses, is the will of create and vague Sea with a brush to paint the entire alphabet with each color, its syllable and strength, culminating in the desire to go And go and let yourself go, especially to build a castle In the stone under the waterfall and the river In the current carry it forward, par-of had in mind something very different from the equal and a simple tale of the journey, the sound of virtuosity Is not seen but spreads So I climbed one more step Still went back downstairs In advance of a step and a levitating And only one trying to climb each step to its firm and confident air of wonder The piano broke down Tar Just had a key, and it was not a defendant was not sorry to have faith to believe in a promotion from being always and only get an instant Fragrant landscape in warm glow of the sea you see the love in my dive, you were my buoy In my boat sinking Washed clean cloth in which the piano is mounted on a living room where nobody wanted to be And I just wanted to get there Then the door was the exit From all that and never will further imagine, was the desire to you have in the heart loop And your partner, it all pumping And then the turbulent sensible and is less in the act The bombing was already happening From war to peace Everything together with various direction One from the go and expand it and then returned the bird that sings and enchants just today learned their song In the lyrics, all sorted without coordinated The task was to bring and end to fear and not believing I fail to return This trip around the course was already Depth of the drop on the roof, the window ajar and the cold, the dark of an act of a fact, but it never happened and reported it is supposed to be invented thought That was just emerging vent That water was only a seat of your kiss I wish you only play the piano It was part of a plan for you to play the note that you will conquer A keen sense a blunt blade It was not a written that strike the strongest ever felt A loose tie on the night of stars A trip on the future That will not come, this differs from country-tle and was the coup, was just a story That all desecrated and left at the end What came in to Pluto, the only write Love of one heart

Between two walls impossible to jump, where the fence 
Nothing away, in a wide circle, a square rectangular 
That node that pinch of dust off and see the piano playing alone in your pity and fourth 
Dark a picture taken by the Standing l√≠cula-roll, small images, in shades of fragments 
I see that you are the piece that reflected on 
It all comes together because I love you, mi-nha reflected the image, you alone are the mirror frame 


The Vulgar 
How to get out of this pain Which is immersed and exacerbates the suffering of only one hurt 
And unique. 
One glance to not kill, and discuss all the teardrop is the discovery of a layered and desecrated Heart 
Then there's the current that drives me crazy 
And my wrists and chains around the impulse 
Of being sentenced to sick soul and dark 
This dust that shakes us intruded by sen- 
taken 
And most of the physically ubiquitous va- 
for the soul 
This alienation is the root of the turbulent en- 
contrada 
In one maze, The I 
You 
Swept by the current submerged 
The apathy of another day, smashed 
The current that squeeze me, loose yourself ... 
Urgent at the moment almost everyone expects ... The allegory of life, transported from bucolic 
moments ... 
The torch burning, struck dead, and behold a glow that lights the flame ... 
For thee my poor heart burn, a loose horse waiting to be tamed ... 
I enjoyed everything I feel, because you feel like you feel at that time infinity ... 
That intersects with the past and marks surrounding any life to be lived. 
Our reunion was thrashing in the magic that is only looking at you and see 
Your motherly face, the feeling of affection and tenderness just pick me up all the bitterness ... 
Just need to see you live and where even die ... 
A hot lips move a sensuality, a transparent happiness ... 
Meaning as a hug waiting to be lived-in, a strong marriage ... 
Particularly well as you want, aspire to be so happy as a petiz ... 
A root sown, nurtured and fortified ... Friendship is the noblest of love 
Let my heart beat out your rhythm ... 


I was a father there father 
The magic moment of higher learning always hope 
The greatest love 
Love to have a child only a mother greater Love Child 
It is always attentive and intelligent giant 
Father and Son 
My son explodes me with joy 
The feeling, emotion, affection, love and affection, is a force that alludes to the joy eternal, the desire for affection, sharing, teaching lesson and because of both overflows 
of happiness to that which one of us aspires to be forever young apprentice in his father beginner. 
Meant to love you, how you feel, as each time a question of anxiety and just a little longer because fascinate me. Your brilliance will always for me a picture of bliss in a frame where we fit the two, but you are always the cutest. 
Far from the simple rise came in thinking only you fill like you enrich me, you're crazy real tenderness 
Tear 
One day if I had a tear in your face depository to weep no more 
Dream 
He wanted to dive Intensely woke in the middle of the sea 
From a sleep that will last years the wires, the sleepwalker Dreamer, a night of soul 
That the bulk of the evening shade 
If it invades and awakens the dark 
Illusion of pure and raw, the more eternal 
Wake up and see 
What the deep sleep of him one day if there is - to wake up and believe in the myth of the dream always to get and to reach just one more piece to be 
An infinite line with your mark ... 
Pair 
Did a kiss A peaceful slumber That numbs us 
And wish for more may not want to know the sweet in you 
And when you say words Mild and refresh the beating of a stir 
From a heart that you think 
Tight, interwoven And I never unleashed a stream 
Veins that pump your heart I'm a breath of air with a rhythmic lightness and clarity never 
Suffering or evil I'm like rain hitting the water in the sand and stone 
I'm yours, who does not 
Is detached and 
You enjoying it readily 
Without you prove 
Behold, I am half 
In search of his pocket 
Plunged into a boot waiting to be unleashed And to tie a tie that never undo Because you are the shoe of the pair Who have my taste of love 


Life 
In the eternal saving 
She then goes down 
And then there is no way 
Face it, around it or manipulate it 
It's the terror of the dissident What burble and culminates a single point of mind Shutdown 
Of creation, imagination Or just paint a dash of Green Fluorescent 
Tone and grab life 
In tone and live 
Bloom, here is 
The marker you've always wanted 
Report, Lives 
Intensely 


Love 
Behold quickly rediscovers desire If the conquered 
Go back and crashing into the stones of the salt sea and bathed 
Depth and layered 
Here's what stands out 
The cold that enters through the swim 
Peaceful and abstracted 
I found myself involved with getting water from the West Passage to the other side 
Nothing is ever difficult to just step forward and the same step Let your heart ring 
The music that is calling you 
Wind, sea and land to conquer 
Simply love 
Wall 
If it were to happen 
Blow would not know the cold, restless mind The cold desecrated, sold and 
The soul, this weapon from pure sentimentality No way, bound 
The one body 
That will freak out and never being 
Coming, because the soul not mistaken, the interest excel but it is pure 
If follows that prominently displays a closed circle, half ajar 
For that to come and subjugation The illusion of immensity Surge thunder 
And everything stops when the light But the effect of disease of the mind and body needs Those who consciously 
Dive into the abyss of Being itself and the Levite, and remains as Appendix A disturbing 
The moods 
And the disease is a tumor of the spirit endured pain and how to negligently That the effect and impact on who 
Is the meter and 
Walking is the meeting of the soul, spirit, body, live in a Pooled 
In everything that destabilizes the other factors because the body no longer endure the hurt of old diseases or ailments and then Of that spirit 
Of self and selfishness Come to our will But disturbs the soul 
And in this epitome of thinking 
It acts on the spirit corrupted 
And invaded 
Pure, hard 
Strong as a wall 
Unable to jump 


Think 
A net of imagination 
Vertigo, a stroke 
Alluring 
A madness immersed 
And deep 
It supports amicably Through beam line and a body of magic invades 
And penetrates the conscious unconscious 
The world of appearances 
Behold live 
Becomes the beauty 
From a pure breathing 
And the infinite becomes visible boundary between words and expands Feelings 
And an act to amend Without Your thinking 
Provoke thinking And Wondering imagine always outperformed 
The standing, 
Thinking and acting to change 


Friendship 
See all the evening twilight to Happen 
Away from the shelter of the imaginary enemy, the 
Go through each battle would Truce, 
With peace of mind, turning 
In the tranquility, the night was 
The fall, and I began 
To feel that touch That feel the soft skin the will and energy Ageless Friendship 
The simple gesture of love stronger than any love or passion 
And whatever the nest 
Only the touch of a thumb 
And just imagine 
What felt 
And the current passing 
Of all the energy 


Learning 
Amazed and fascinated with the juice spilled, or affronted fact quite gloomy But sitting on alert status, without the slightest sense of minimalism From Here that runs through the city Integer, so confused or misunderstood 
Do not know if everything was decided But it makes sense in the simple pleasures When 
To write you to request not required, and when it happens remains vanishes 
Everything felt 
He saw, however 
Just look, read and write interpret, assimilate Transporting Learning and teaching, behold the breath Grows 
With the wind, 
And then disappear, flying seven seas 
For the said by said 
Behold plunged, would 
Deepened, the whole 
Friend of Friend 
This friend indivisible 
And it was not visible but an alert, a thought From the talent that flies 
Runs, runs and imagines 
There and not being 
But when witnessing the birth of the Volta a day each one thinks only because now, today, now 
It is the future and writing 
From enjoying a hard 
Simple warm up and above 
Create and imagine and return 
The back and recreate 
At your place for which I had never left it, but once there, is already 
Look at the clock Preferably, Spot Actual facts and presence are Assisted and an original feeling of pleasure 
That comes with the melt 
And the blackout so normal 
Dumb, and just simply The Wake up early and so As the dark and light up the night magic 
And pragmatically was levitating and rowing a boat 
With a north, a direction she was Razzberry and scintillating, that 
One point, 
With feedback and a sea 
So hard to imagine 
It was immense and awesome 
This fury of the oceans that addresses clandestine journey Without host 
A square ball was reversed triangle like a pyramid from a sarcophagus 
In the spirit of soul ... As a forgotten Impenetrable 
Living, occurring 
Site an image of a leaf 
It does not dry, its irrigation for the pen and the writing of our planet 
Each antenna, satellite 
Or simple 
Maintain contact wire 
With another planet and traveled As trees 
In branches that grow 
And the flowers 
Gardener 
That shine all day 
They are like a glow in the moonlight 
Would happen 
And then 
Another jump, another jump 
To see a kid born and mostly see him grow and learn and learn all the notes and turned that Act, that the language of the child 
It's soft skin to supremacy 
Of children toward 
Due to parents and teaching 
Connivance of double Observer and learning to learn and know how a twin 
Having a couple in which learning 
It is very much my mutual Challenge yourself and your 
We will always grow and learn 
Know ... 
And much live ... 
Living 
I have one prevents me from seeing what I'd like to be real 
But ever loyal to conduct like a sad clown I'ma fake 
The smile, the joy from the inside to the outside I do not obey a float 
That makes me fall out of place 
Normal would be traveling 
And get a point where dista 
Own view of 
Abysmal feel a big step, however unnatural phenomenon as savage animal ferocity and Feels 
With speed, tear 
Strangle 
And as forest 
If an innate strength 
The predestined % 
0AAo failure at the time 
And a trip in advance and no trace is the image of rebellious, hateful 
And indeed sinful 
Here is a swear 
The temperature in the sky at the time, comes the cool and serene Alegre Marigold saying Stop, Flowers 
And it grows, the momentum 
Violent not a bad time goes by All the ferocity of Culminis and be enhanced suddenly leave 
That nothing 
Or nearly nothing 
The inconvenience and 
To pure momentum tells you is the noise Of Air and put you 
The think I will win it all without fear, without ever learn not to live with the trap 
That hatred we have is not yours, in your human self 
You see that good deeds will make thee 
The star on earth 
When the curtain falls 
I ask you to touch the piano 'Cause We've got a plan 
Based on arrival we will never stop you from you do 
And flies 
Plane and flies 
The storm cloud 
It is a condition 
Multi-factor that makes us in rain and wet harrowing face of Terna 
Earthly 
Serena seems to have read a conjecture An architecture 
Without engineering 
In its power, refers the fantastic, the unreachable realistic, because 
We believe That all powers, above all had a glass envelope but dark shades Smoked 
Absolutely transparent 
The values ‚Äč‚Äčare as 
Flowers have to Shower them constantly And what is the seed grows in the mind 
Be different from that we all have the same instincts and ferocity 
The very soul of man Beyond the magic potion is due 
The tunnel in which giddy 
See the entry light 
And with no end 
The derailment of a bottomless pit Everything we have learned and implemented from pure 
Here no one will win in its World 
The tunnel is the passage 
Experience the light of the entry 
And enlighten your path 
For what we have 
It is the life line and that is to be conducted 
Deep Love 
Love suffered 
It was also felt 
Forgotten 
In the bottom half lost 
Repented and lived 
Mask 
How to stop living in the end and everything 
Finally, behold, certainly nothing as certain as 
What we do not have anything uncertain 
Insert 
Another line 
Tiny and a continuous limit 
Not a harbinger of the Infinite, so as the lines we have two points 
The sunrise and the only infinitely 
Only the face of death 
How slowly is coming from a blow everything What did it feel, just another face Because they never saw the end but the 
Mask of the dark 


Remembrance 
For you suffered for you felt loved Contigo Contigo lived never loved another I kissed in thee vi 
In you got 
Love will always remember 
Felt 
Nothing ever so much suffering for you wanting Dying Through me 
For you I wrote 
Therefore 
I have suffered and died And you never ever felt lost only 
Lover In a Moment 
One day just seemed distant Far Love Someone 
Already lover 
Reflections 
Awaiting the birth of something me and my mirror reflection 
How good is only And not only reflect your image is too simple reflection mirror was passed without 


Clear Night 
One dark night So clear as to where Dawn 
Corners by your charm 
Become like the real 
Whistling bird that flies and 
All aspire to freedom 
Writing 
I ... 
And the greatest good that I have a paper and a pen Especially Irresistible aspire only to thought 


Passing 
Morri! 
Yes, it was the beginning of the end 
The beginning of the volte-face 
Without bitterness, but no tenderness 
It was the trip 
Performed without image, and without courage Opposing the lowest and the highest was time to leave 
Or stay at this place, imagining Everything and anything from time to time he departed, and went to the bottom 
At the far end 
Do not fear nor tremble 
The return journey is 
Immersed in this world 
In the depths of beauty 
That all I have is all 
And everything I want nothing, for when leave 
Nothing will bring him, that's what I thought. 
Abyss 
Where I am on a precipice into the abyss 
It's the end 
Expected 
And he walked like this, wishing and wanting 
Jumping, hopping 
And smoking 
He was walking without a travel destination 
The anxiety varies with age but live forever If so very anxious waiting for something, you always want to Anything, everything in us is interposed 
How willingly involuntarily 


Ladder 
I sat down, consider, 
But the result, not 
It was close to expectations, 
I went downstairs and enter the elevator 
Light and dark, and behold, he is tightening the second maneuver own will 
Hence it rose slowly and 
Never falling Down 
Headquarters 
A tear, An intuition 
Or destruction, that Thought is a nice drink from the flask from the refrigerator 
And I bring to the headquarters and all is satiated and Magnifico 
Existence 
Unwilling to end, so is Ending ... 
She comes ... I hear the words as well as I saw this terrifying Winner 
Once Again I do not go 
And therefore I am and am 
Short 
Sun 
What was happening I felt sad for the dawn A suit 
That came with nightfall Vivi, I am reborn and he relived the powerful 
The Sun 


Revive 
In the curtain of smoke 
Behold, there he is born 
Without the scroll event 
Behold, it was momentary 
And that the slab breaks away and only just 
To live a life more 
For an image 
It's simple to see every moment 
On his image and be reborn 
Look 
The perfume, the smell of insanity, madness, torture of thought All unbound 
No relative, an orphan's heart, only the pain of a love that hurts so many other 
The look and kills 
Desire and the Longing 
Culminate 
Just a moment, a moment came that 
Thy thought, probably all exist not only how virtuous image 
But in an appearance or function of state 
The mind does not die in every moment of physical existence 
And suddenly everything is 
Delete, or may lead 
Living Dying 
To live or die? Alas, sorry, it arises? Obvious, who never killed anyone? Everyone has left to live 
One moment. All without exception think how unfortunate pleasure and then we will die soon so we'll live 
The contradictory of ridicule 


Leaver 
Dear Friend ... I write too far gone ... ... You Were my little friend ... 
Tonight my soul cries ... for you! 
take my heart a chance ... Please forgive me my friend ... 
... lost my freedom away in heaven ... Were you taken ... 
return's a pleasure ... so quiet ... silence, the half-way to who Died Were ... Forgiven last word ... ... 
Interrupted 
Evaporated on to me my soul, nothing left but rubble ... secret, outside the fantasy. 
In a subversion emerged, floats idleness ... one more time, particularly ... 

Be 
A sound, a core of mouth, A soft touch, a color only a dream to enchant a single moment, only 
Desperate and inspired a sharpening, no distance, no limit 
The cutting of a hole, this framework goes beyond the imaginary chick blood, pain and Reddish inflamed by the sense of not having an enigma, but 
a reality, a vision. When we joined the other and see 
believe as a look 
approver and supportive of a life, adulterated, inverted and mirrored. 
From all the heartache that I feel 
I belong to anyone, without fear 
compassion, insane, without passion and pure soul of a node without power, but interwoven, and united in a 
only sense of wanting and finally have, and at the end 
nothing to be ... 


Absence 
If you touch and see your world, would be unclean, without a touch of sensitivity change, at least to believe that anyone 
beyond my reality. My simple sadness 
is like all the happiness attainable as unreachable. By magic, without irony 
In one day you say, touch me feel, how you look at me and see who I am and what not 
I'll be near you. 
In a fiery match the pain that burns in me when everything closes burn. Never took you out, in fact you say that you suffer because you never know, and let 
that I loved you and always love you ... 


Publish your book with the 
LivroPronto Publisher 
This book was composed in ITC Galliard font, had its core printed 
Pollen Fine Paper 80g and 250g Cover Design Duo 
Printing & Finishing 
LivroPronto Graphics 
05 
The Vulto 
I love you more than those times that my heart can beat ... 
I Expiro | Inspire You | The Same Air | De Amar 
I am all the colors to paint your world ... 
... for me, for you and who likes me 
One day ... 
Planted a root ... In my heart ... Today, this tree ... 
It's called a love for life ... Ever, can be pulled ... 
It lives ... Inside me ... 
100% Original Content 
Revised and updated July 28, 2009 
Filipe Alexandre de Moura Andrade S√° filipe.sa.moura @ gmail.com 
Monday, 30 
April 2007 
Transformer 
Balance of forces that transform the glittering reality. 
Switchbox Controls positions and destinations of current universal. 
Sunlight 
Illuminates the insides 11 
obscure the nature of land. 
Fountain Fall like drops on the ground that the source of life and light. 
Lighthouse 
Search incessantly so 
rotary motion abnormality. 
Electrocution 
Nerves plow with noisy cardiac electrocution. 
Electromagnetic waves 
Thoughts come and go around the circle, wavy waves. 
Electricity 
Runs through my body this current leads me to the circuit wave. 
Electrical pulse 
I am shaken by impulses which move from electric mode. 
The light of truth 
Glows when the truth discovered by impulse. 
Blackout 
Shut up the voices tormented by the feeling of being bright. 
Candle Light 
Lights pain 
accumulated from the melted wax. 
Electric doors 
Open gently touching, but no closing time to open. 
Motorcycles chainsaw 
Cut the roots of hatred vibrant dark energy. 
Electrocuted 
Electrocuted in smoke light that erases the memory. 
Electromagnetic turbulence 
Swarm in the minds turbulent electromagnetism endless. 
Monday, 30 
April 2007 
Ray electrifying 
As lightning electrifying energy that paralyzes the mind. 
Lights diabolical 
Every being has a devilish light of electrifying flashes. 
Flashers 
Flashing lights plaguing me 
the uninterrupted flow of current. 
Dim light 
Lights illuminate opaque outlandish beings in the dim light. 
Wires 
Electrical wires run through my body vibrating with energy. 
10th Circuit Electrical 
Rise and move towards the 10th circuit and there is a power failure incorruptible. 
Fall Electric 
Electric fell on the words of ecstasy and sensations. 
Cut light 
Sharp and bright echoes, 
shining light grabbing voice breaking. 
Dark lightning 
Flash brightly dark beings with errant eye orientation. 
Fluorescence 
Flourish and fall, not thunder in all directions and senses. 
"Ofuscul√™ncia" 
Lancinating lightnings overshadow the pleasure of others feelings and perspectives. 
Incandescence 
Intersecting arcs deep into your soul that hold the electrode - shocks and dynamic glow. 
Electrocut√°veis 
As a hint to me hammer out the discrepancies of the sentiments that appeal to a light strong and determined. 
Absence Crepuscular 
I curl up in lights gently acute of my being, I delight in a gentle radius. 
Reminiscence 
Agreement immersed in a bright day, I prepare to leave the Dark and the Power 
Light, Power and Energy will distribute throughout the Community constellations. 
Wednesday, May 23, 2007 
Light Menacing 
Threaten these lights convalescent 
that plague us and let foresee the danger. 
Light Presence 
This light that accompanies you in moments of bucolic and unable to confront you intimacy in secrecy. 
Red Light 
The bright red light and blocking nerve accelerators. 
Shock 
Shocks sails and minds of contaminants without impulses spread out. 
Light Company 
Illuminated what does not happen and neither company feels light. 
Thunders 
Thunder crunch and shatter noise 
thirsty for pleasure. 
Mighty Light 
Powerful lights condemn 
instruction to the lives of others by voices 
Rays 
How powerful and lacerating Rays cut ties that bind impossible. 
Luz Fosca 
Clouded consciousness 
that penetrate into bulky beam. 
Intense Light 
Intensely lit up the mists of the Dark Light 
Cosmic Light 
Cosmos as a pervasive and deep 
which relieves the oblivion of the soul. 
Thursday, May 24, 2007 
Power of Light 
The healing power of light struck me right in the filaments of the foreskin of despair, I am grateful. This light guided me in the direction of current ecstasy of everyday life, struck me sick and the future
unreasonable to so yeah ... thunders into slaughter 
I like dynamite and flash brightly stripped of pleasure fatal. 
So yes cured by light and move it cured me and got out of the bowels of caloric accuracy and precision. But I wonder if this light will illuminate the past because I'm afraid she has no power to run light. Hence there are two poles, two extremes of energy. And I was struck by the positive and healing rather than the dark and haunting. This light comes from the clarity of emotions and rationality of the twilight of the immediate and impulsive, without transition and opaque meanings, not feelings or embedded nailed. 
The light is strong, intense and will burn all its rays on who opposes it, join the light, to feel 
there will be no impulsive force and power grabs that have the talent and strength as a Blue Ray fan and cutting non-lived bad moments and thoughts 
malicious and pervasive that victimize us as sound-light bras without the feed. I just say that there is light in you and there is thunder, storms, power and light, mainly light clear and pure in its most 
primitive fire that fire that crosses in and feeds us and sometimes we burn, so life is made of light transient and opponents against their sense of reason or energy to give us strength and vitality to withstand the shock faded, and without their strength reproach and that apologies are in causes of their involvement, there is no light energy and ener-gy has everything, everything has its light and movement and current, ie the self that often intimidates us and we con- 
fronta with strange accusations do not understand because they are not Exculpatory not dare to clash with other energy but rather trying to extinguish its light, but it is present and how it unfolds, infiltrates the senses of vision and shows us the clarity of thought through the silence of the times, and how to harden shuts 
and enjoy the view of the disabilities that inglorious others pass through negative energy or positive energy-po. But the fact is a light blue ray bully, but who accepts that power in it if you want to carry it and the speed of light, the immediate, the second tranche of the moment, the moment it is instantaneous and hence there will be no cuts in the framework or conduct more ridiculous because everyone is entitled to power, whether positive or negative effect. 
The influence of lacerating black Faiska happens in neutral pole of wisdom and carries the insanity of ener-gy vibrant and hungry for pleasure and luminary, so 
I advise using your own energy to be reaching for the light and blurring an ardent smile like ashes, deprived of heat, but frantic when shaken. Quadrant of another have thought the Blue Ray with imperturbable lights Christmas tree and stressed that drive us to distraction. The Blue Ray knows his path, direction, guidance and insight has to frame and photon energies, possible short of the tours, but vibrant and impulsive always travels at-speed of light but not blue ray. It is this transition 
power faced by the energy pragmatic but not effusive obstructive that prevent us from living the instant, the thunder shakes and prominently affect the sound wave that produce super-sonic speeds but not so powerful. 
As a direct confrontation by the people oppressed and thicken the lights bright opaque that distort what is real and it seems unreal, but there are also lights fictitious 
it is the power of the light of imagination. 
Blue Ray 
Infuriated, the Blue Ray invades me be resplendent with energy that flows into the pores of dirty prejudice and intolerance that this blue ray will hit. 
Artificial Light 
Tuesday, May 29, 2007 
Laser Light 
This laser light is penetrating and so invisible to the pene tra-not visible and invisible. 
It's a light in the master seer and-out hardened assumptions and zillions of others to own seer. Imperceptible and harmless causes through its beam a Suction thoughts and preconceived ideas to their own poison with poison and its antidote. 
Attic Light 
This smoke light pierces the mind's hidden in rags 
memories undone in loose heads and steering action, action that the step motor that cools the thought of slow and frantic massificadoramente uncoordinated. 
Penetrating the idle time is enthusiastic and dis-tributes to the lights 
Brain and exciting current electrical stimuli in ca-wandering. 
Intensifies in body mass and distributes light practice and hypno-numbing, as one will set the rhyming gibberish. 
These lights come in any attic head with eclectic roots of the latest engineering. 
Some have monkeys, others only attics, attic other lamps that obscure the main entrance, I wish to enter attics with memories, pen-thoughts, short life lived without great causes but 
with memories. These are memories that light the attic forever and some are always open or closed in chests. 
Wednesday, May 30, 2007 
Lightning 
Heats and darkens and becomes still and silent, but range and noise when it happens is panting and avas-salador that infects the rage to live and be present 
between lights and other lights or even simple 
dark transient but marked with sighs and silences that breaks the most electrifying. That lightning that you erase the issue of consciousness marked by groans and eloquent that precipitate action ne-loader sense of opportunity to be stationary at the time that another lightning fell in this world. 
Ashes of Light The ashes that mark you heat the irons from the wild and only a strong 
battered are contaminated by ashes of Light's past and future ubiquitous that you do not forget and that rebellion. Cut up the spur of the moment 
and spreads slowly tearing profusely and telling you controls you, and you throw into a pool of light that drowns in memory of the words incontinent and spilling their place of birth. In turmoil are the burning ashes of a mag-magnetic body that flickers and hisses in your heart burning with desire for something manly and masculine or feminine and so sexy, this double character insult you like a split personality that does not sag or to a side or the other. The ashes of light and heat the dark frivolous in their heat and have the protection of the rains and devoured that spread across continents and timeless space. 
In light of Pleasure 
This light that invades us and gives us insights of luxurious and takes us to the many pleasures of greeting and anxiety chemistry of pleasure-sedentary 
nity, but not encrusted, but printed on the faces of naive pleasure that illuminate the alien being or feeling or emotion. 
Emotion that you feel happy and dazzling resplande center and relieves contractions felt by the excess of pleasure over the one that redirects to the other senses and pleasures. 
As the light of joy grows and feeds on addiction that will not shrink and does not wobble and crash crazy hair in the denial of pleasure. 
Light Hypnotic 
Grope mesmerizing felt in the face of the light pres-ence feelings that promise the desire of the addiction of the light which leads us to streamline and believe there is light. 
Through it we are taken without credit and no debts, es- 
stagnating, as the hypnotic life of transcendent beings who indulge in pleasure sources hypnotics. 
Vices such as rave hair and brow of shame and idleness. This transcendent light that leads us to new challenges in the same thought dif-ferent in reaction, reactions such unreasonable and pure facing the pure desire to have the light in his power to be fed by it and driven by loose stones that come together as clay on heating. 
Thursday, May 31, 2007 
Intense Light 
Intensely that light is divided between bodies disposed of motion and oscillates between two easy ways to illuminate, but without any electric current, it is self-sufficient and exists in sorrow and dismay of hypnosis systemic that feeds and develops. 
But consciously is a light so intense that apa-ga and auto-transmit powers even erased. 
Thursday, June 14, 2007 
Psychedelics thunder 
Psychedelics intertwine in the noise of the brave tro-Voes that support and enhance the anomaly that arises from being covered by the thunder-the psychedelic. 
Well here it radiates coherent light, no power 
or ranges, that would just be a pretext for the abnormality of thunder black, which is caged and grunts in the strangest and most profound sense of absorbance 
the reason why he stepped aside, range and move without the least secretive, seemingly psychedelic lighting world who grieve it if you want to mislead, or enjoy the pleasures spread biased dyed colors oblique stagnant, unwilling to create or mere indulgence . 
Imbued with the spirit of the fragments of thought, in fact all those who are fragmented imagi-nam another world, away from disturbances, such as when we scratch ourselves irritate the eye, or simply you blink. This move alienated from other movement, glows and spray away the minds and oblivious to the simple fact of being a busy 
or agitated. 
Thunder is psychedelic and drive away spirits, without which they manifest, as there is, is a reality of parallel rumors and intransigence as the bogeyman, and nobody here eats weird personalities and aliases of pre-existence even in the absence of fact. 
Hence, all that is unreal is timeless story, but it does anything, afraid, afraid that we deport a horizon of five dimensions, polygons and linear, but not likely or even capable of any trait, this trait is that the hemispheres apotheotic and transcendent thought. 
Not flower or grow in filaments of reason tracta abstract ideas, but impulses are born characters 
already seen, and decorated movement imitation and appropriateness to the moment, but all made aware and minimally calculated. Without the thunder calculations is real and 
unpredictable so it is a genuine spontaneity-bility that it is absurd to think of any other energy source psychedelic. 
Creak and grind the heads of old and already disadvan-baskets in yellow leaves and eaten by bibliofagos 
And without any perseverance intimidate obsolete memory and made and counterfeited to its measure. Surrounded by measuring devices, welcome the rotulantes abexins and laugh at the thunder of Abyssinia. 
In light of the past are urged those living in the light of the past, those dying of celestial bodies in addition to invade proe-MinEnt that happens, the immediate. 
But all issues are bright, light intensity, more 
sas or less, but are not energy radiation 
are consistent with the past, not even mo-ment before. Past lights emit ra-mediations so that harmful but not block out any light that is bright and radiant light want at any time, impulse or momentum. 
For the past intersects with the present, moment, momentum, or the second tranche, but does not influence its energy nor its current luminosity. We are therefore always in time for the powerful light and limpid stream of ecstasy that cuts through the wind on your face pleasures hitherto deprived of intent Gyrate-motion rivers around the pleasure of light or be illuminated, because what counts is certain is power or voltage of the intense current that triggers the electrical impulse that passes through the simple look in light of its the past, less intense light, radiation from past lives, but not the principle of guiding light triggered 
motion pulse of light without shade, played the second snapshot, just a simple click and you're done there was light in his eyes sharp and dangerous and burning glances of envy and hatred that just creep around lights of the past and cling the celestial bodies you with radiation. Well Radiation is radiation contamination and that is, so that anything stronger than light his light at the moment, at all times with any current without radiation, since no light is stronger than another, is a question of radiation - tions, and I do not come with these lights innate because each has its pure light, thirsty and will respond with imagination and pure ima-energy development and creation. Magic light that has colors in his light, reflected in shades of yellow sun energy. 
In fact there is not much light, there is only pockets of exis- 
tance of remaining balanced and objective way that is not capable of viewing. So there is not real, is the result of powerful ray that we alluded to raise awareness. 
Lightning But what is consciousness? What is really conscious or unconscious here is a barrier that is not likely to materialize for a lot of sense to do and to understand that we all would tell gimos for the moment. This decay preconceived barrier to materialize and saying they were current intranspo-levels when in fact there are no barriers in the real. 
Everything is so real and imaginary or unreal all live in the same chain of illusions, the headquarters of other studies Pirithous that does not affect us because it actually exists, or indeed there is no barrier between the desire and the light is always present in the unconscious conscious and We reserve to ourselves because we believe in chains, but here too there are no currents or impulses 
yes there are imaginary creatures celestial paciais aerospace-living as they say in light of the past, the majority ruled that the light had to have power or measure, but then again who are they to interfere in the light, the light does not rings. 
Observe the light and gets a clear look to it 

Friday, June 22, 2007 
Natural Light 
Nothing more natural light that is clean and natural because it is natural to conform. Conformance, adversity 
ties, conflicts, which serve as mere indulgences 
accumulator conscious attitudes and problems but not as deep as they are natural. Between natural light and there is minimal impact from this that involve the natural- 
see us and makes us feel at ease and quiet, because everything is normal and natural. 
Air, natural joy that surrounds us, the one that hits and runs and especially touch, gentle touch for those who like puffs of lightness. 
Wednesday, 27 
June 2007 
Light on Nuclear Energy 
Potent source of energy radiates in transformations, mutations psychological, which we consider ourselves so struck by this nuclear power. This light vibrant 
energy increases the impact of light be transcen-dent of mutations and that in fact they are suffering but as a peacock that seeps in the seized and impulses that lead us to act. Boost this dynamic and clear explosive radiation. Hence we have the ex-west in its maximum force of energy, nuclear agents that will fix the light and crumble impossible to destabilizing because it is the epitome of the power of transformation. And nothing stronger than transforming, the change that lifts us and potentiate in rela-tion to radiation. 
Psychotropic Lights 
As if by magic or harmony they perch and flap their wings and float these lights psychotropic that fascinate us and the reality that trade as either a good desire but is anticipated to be a bad omen for the quan-we return to this world, where as a time machine us away from the real dimension and transports us into a fantasy world, or unreal pleasures. 
Hence there is a third dimension of activ-sensory energy and dark when viewed from the perspective of other crazy reality inhibit the oxygenation and flow lights psychotropic gaining ground from various perspectives and dimensions Voluptuo-sas that excel and those who retain in sporadic epi-dios. No oppositions between light or world realities or because the nature are the lights. 
Friday, July 20, 2007 
Thunder 
As before a break bitter and long lasting, raging thunder that feeds the Land of the survivors of light amorphous and transparent. Refugees in bodies ce-east of the bitterness they have put this uncontrollable rage enhanced by washes of light and power. Burns and feeds the light of being that makes the invasion of these ne-pomp blackouts in darkness away from light and power that lets itself be subservient and inflame the magma Thunder enhances the energy and happiness of light. Felici-tion of light beams uncharacteristic of human- 
cos of being. 
Saturday, 21 July 
2007 
Generator 
Love Generator, generator or love! 
What fuels this desire carnal not virtual, and this emotional link kissing transparent and thirsty for something vital to the development of energy ties emo-tion and trams. 
This generator feeds egos and personalities with hidden faces daily as the representation takes on the breakfast or dinner, or water that feeds the energy of the day to day. 
Without masks or agonizing thoughts, frame-drama-reality in the power of love or love the energy of electric and looks sharp and penetrating-ing representative of love and loneliness that lives fueled by a cable that never shuts down, a energy incorruptible, but true, always! 
Always thirsty electrifying look of desire and some patience 
invented by the monotony of the days and faces pel-representing almost nothing in the mean electrical wires are loose. Adventure up the imagination of the motor and innate realities but cleared of choking with instant contact. Contact indispensable to life motor, this engine of consensus reality of being and not being there, but oblivious to other realities almost imperceptible to the conscious desire, but he 
is there! 
There is always this sense of opportunity in the immediate future, so the media can not be watery but slides in the thoughts of love generator means and resources available and how to love generator is always on the lookout for any and or a non-tro virtual and controlled this very being of condescend, then it can not divest themselves of the pleasure it generates, and proliferates in these ever-present faces of the piece of soul you always wanted to stifle. 
Because you can not sell any piece of energy, because energy is one and multicultural in its sense of satisfaction, satisfaction that develops several reality-ties, because we are imaginary and virtual, only the presence of others or on the mirror to hide new 
regulatory power of the spirit energy of neutrons, these are the real animals of light. Dragons lights can light up! 
Electric Current 
This current runs through us and that reinvigorates the day-sarily gives us strength and mimicry of gleaming errant beings, yes! Errant because it can stand the force of light or convalescent sick and oppression that affront to reality dualistic and oppressive. 
Do not weigh upon this stream of negative poles who infiltrate deep subconscious pain and reducing the critical and negativistic personality, food-ta-te but of transcendent reality and positivity of anti-chemical and chemical feeders channels the spirit of innovation and achievement , realization that this is personal and non-color as feeders to the frantic Ridas no pleasure, but that draws the mind to the magnetic waves of thought and 
mitted. The transmission of thoughts is real 
is magnetized and develops circuits and nobody can deny that these circuits have current spreads in the air of timeless sensations and pleasures OprI-kids, because we are all starting to beta-blockers but outside energies that enhance our thirst for living. 
These pulses therefore affect our reasoning and sometimes conflicts occur or develop in the pen to marry, but that can bring happiness to power, with the excitement that the gates will lead to external reality. 
Light Blue 
Triggered strong emotions in the light blue crosses bridges and ladders and infiltrating the feelings of power that feeds and develops this potential spiritually tuos. 
Welcomes with its beams the beauty of the ultra-sensitive trans-parency of friendship eloquent wishing for something more blue, stronger, more intense, and develops 
we constellations with feeling and profound ramifications of being alienated in this wave Hertzian. 
This power affects oblique minds bereft of feeling of living in shades of blue, turquoise affecting deep and lasting friendship, he carries in itself magical beams of madness and delight lovers of rare beauty and blue toning. In filaments intensity twilight it develops and transmits energy and warm protective evils and pleasures with Aug-nia and silence, there is not a mask that eludes us and alludes to the abstract thought, but rather a strong blue light and intensifying pleasure of real and imaginary, but it affects and who it affects always be transported and 
be no limits to the intrinsic and lasting friendship. 
She falls in love and almost bereft of reason but which serves food to the excitement, come and bring pleasure and delight of lust, that pleasure is all calories and invades 
and is a frenzy of excitement with this blue light that lies down and clasp the accumulation of wind energy that are emptying with time but does not disappear in the future present, that is always present this protective light that will not let us develop the level of Luminous uncontrollable pleasure. 
Monday, 23 
July 2007 
Power Cord 
Vibrant current of anxiety runs through bodies atra ves-electric cables feeders and hope for something new and amazing that leaves us static 
movements but with racing thoughts and anxiety. 
Paralyzed from moving up the tension in fits and actually measured and controlled movements of thought we went downstairs where we turn to one another. 
It is on this ladder of thoughts which we categorize behaviors, faces and movements and we framed the descent and ascent of the moments of life and light feeds the escalator that takes you non-stop to the madness of reality that prevails in sec. XXI, energy, magic, costumes, all with apparent harmony, but 
beware of the stairs, not everyone is going down the stairs 
treadmill of life, there are beings who climb stairs that rise above all someone supports them, is this sufficient or you will be a question of balance. 
Balance of forces is crucial to the balance of movement and falls and rises to the level of each individual, but not all deserve to go down and support us on the climb, effort and perseverance is a fundamental, then raise yourself to the spirit of sacrifice without injury or stops 
and she'll take the light of the thinking being. Without balance of outside forces that can sag, the stairs are solid and fed by cables of hope come to the cord most important cycle of life, this energy that feeds the earth. 
Tuesday, July 24, 2007 
Effervescent Light 
Cai and fizz, dilute and expands into branches of light from an unconquerable desire for it is an illusion as all eyes effervescent light that then collapse when confronted with external reality. 
Endowed with malice and counterfeit episodes spo-Periodicals effervescent madness of desire as the love that grows and contaminates, occupies all thoughts and let it dominate and be overbearing, it is the exchange of revitalizing energy, the effervescence that neck goes out, the content is light there. 
Sky lit 
Nothing stronger than the desire to achieve the perfect balance of the illuminated sky, as are stars that give it life and thoughts and ideas move or indeed the desire to concrete. 
Nothing more beautiful than the sky lit by energy constellation which called for a constant interaction between the star and the star power is unique, as I say anything stronger than a soul with heaven-illuminated swimming will and desire for change and interaction and star thoughts magnetize touch. 
Sunday, July 29 de2007 
Leakage Power 
It frightens me how energies vanish in smoke without a flame, this is not wanting to interpret reality waistband-mica. I was disappointed when vital energies are suppressed by crystallization of accommodation and feelings is certainly a mask of political correctness. O soul of pure energy transforms you into a spell and fly over the minds that have no current impulse to the truth of the facts and the constant muta-tion of things are changing cycles and stages by which all start and develop, but never in the way 
sofrid√£o fear and feelings. Free yourself and 
extends up and above all life suffers mutation, this change that propels us. 
Tuesday, 28 
August 2007 
Light of Life 
Submerged passions of madness. Why, I instinctively want to be loved and loves of. 
Passions and disappointments pave the way for many illusions. Deluded and love me focus and concentrate on all the methodology of how to truly love, that which pierces- 
or falsity. Nu in the field of action to be loved this is the true identity of being, being loved so requires of us a deep sense of why we loved and yet there is a dichotomy necessary than happy to reciprocate love and also-also, this interaction assumes that 1 +1 = 1, when logically one can not enjoy anything. So logically 1 +1 = 2, correct, but the conduct will not be productive if the result is not the technical tie the attitudes and values ‚Äč‚Äčand behavior in general, hence there is a position which then join in the middle of lovemaking. 
Understood this truth and will only source of pleasure, or be an individualist or other action, one should consider action as true freedom. 
Well, I have not lived enough to overcome the following steps, logical or illogical to be chosen from several of you do not want to be absolutely sure, so I imagine that ass once in a while, and today there is hardly dumb themselves, but the donkeys are artificial, that trick, but who truly mind-sometimes arises in this paper, draw your own conclusions. 
I'm not here for that, in fact I have misgivings about madness, and attitudes that do not make, since the fool is the only under certain circumstances and when judged by others, that is often depends on the habitat. Diverting some of this reasoning I then di- 
zer I'm crazy, I assume that many people liked 
hence, we are never satisfied, we want more love and more and more ... 
Why so amorous ambition, as I put the question. Retreat by saying the following, all are free 
to run amuck in love, we are vulnerable and often manipulated. 
We believe that it is true that we love, why, because we loved that feeling affection and triggers that awaken the wisdom of life, the act of love and pass that love clearly and sponta-neous, because saying I'm entitled to be loved as to love yourself and then give birth to life through an effort towards a path one and no-but lagre or pain. 
Enjoy a wonderful being that presents to you 
Maximum energy progenitor. The light is reproduced beams that illuminate the solar system itself, believe me. 
Never on a distant horizon to capture the light of love, because it spreads by contact, stimulate 
revitalizing these energies. 
And do grow up and be the equation 1 +1 +1 +1 +.....= 
infinity. Well there's love in the magnetic field, strength and seductive lure a desire to meet and satisfy the desire or simply enjoy. 
Saturday 1 
September 2007 
Energy Associations 
Light: Heat: Sun Power: Segregation: Saliva: Kiss 
: Sharing: Feeling: Joy: Party: Birthday 
: Years: Age: Old age: Patience, Perseverance: Conquest: Sacrifice: Pain: Healing: Medical: Health: Vitality: Energy: Power: Impotence: It frustrates tion: Suffering: Fall: Vertigo: Mad: Mad: Mad: Hospital: Inpatient : Deprivation: Desire 
: Will: Want: Win: Win Battle: War: Death: Loss: Disappearance: No 
: Solitude: Thoughts on Creation: Invention: Lie 
: Cruelty: Immoral: Punishment: Punishment: reprimand 
: Fine: Police: Security: Security: Stability-from: Balance: Imbalance: Freak: Illness: Psychiatry: Help: Therapy: Clinical: injection: Nurse: Morphine: Drugs: Illusion: Deception: An-siedade: Nervousness: Voltage: Brawl : Fighting: Fighting 
: Winner: Racing: Competition: Adrenalin: Fear 
: Fear: Doubt: Enquiry: Question: Answer: 
Question: Curiosity, Interest, Satisfaction: Pleasure 
: Orgasm: Sensation: Conscientious: Responsibility-tion: Guilt: Guilty: Innocent: Freedom: Freedom 
: Justice, Honesty: Truth: Sincerity: Trans-parency: Unseen: Unreal: None: Imagination: Creativity: Dream: Sleep: Sleep: Tranquil 
: Quiet: Stopped: STOP: Signal Symbol: Drawing 
: Pencil: Rubber: Tire: Road: Travel: Trans-portation: Train Line: Needle: Pin: Sewing: Operation: Intervention: Change: Transition Phase 
: Escalation: Rating: Indexing: Terms: Words: Phrase: Dialogue: Communication: Expression: Statement: Introduction: Introduction: Preamble 
: Introit: Paper: Sheet: Tree: Nature: Wind: 
Air: Sea: Fire: Earth, Solar System: Energy: Light: Power: BLUE RAY:) 
Thursday, 4 
October 2007 
Energy Revitalization 
Live the Dissatisfaction with Satisfaction 
Light Prosperity 
I am all the colors to paint your world 
Sunday, 7 
October 2007 
Paralyzing Light 
Something we will not stop if we want to continue, but why stop if it is action that takes place and generates emo-tions, sensations and stimuli, why when someone responds and reacts, action my friends, patience 
and intelligence to understand the other being confronted pains. That is the question why free energy that paralyze us as if we were children with no response. Courage my dear the word is an order to be judged and who will be the judge of reason, who is normal and abnormal ... nobody! 
We all have faith and I have faith in those who have faith to endure the doubt give the will and desire omnis-aware and present, but as a harp and alludes that eludes transmits sounds with echoes delusional mermaid. Nothing more than relax and listen we have two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much as we speak and 
silence is action, not naivete or lack of control, few resist silence thou must experience can even be tantalizing answer many questions but subjective and sociable silence is mute but can serve as the perfect weapon willing uncontrollable impulsiveness and desire for this relaxes listen and hear the silence in you! 
Wednesday, 10 
October 2007 
If one day be a radius 
If a day is a ray, it would be destructive, scary, noisy, relentless or was bright, beautiful, radiant and energetic ... 
Each ray is how humans different characteristics, different modes of action, different light, ie each beam / be unique and exclusive. Well if one day be a minimum radius was unique. 
Each ray has the form of action, as in people at any time such action appears in fractions of moments. 
Do we have the radius of action / being, it might change its direction and destination. In relation to targets and 
first time I invoke the name of God, one day appeared to have a conversation with faith and beliefs of a follower of the Koran that told me the following story which I shall describe, you are given a set of hands and ask for the vehement God who comes out the top score and went up a bit. My Dear story boils down but he finally threw the dice? But apart from this story I will tell you that we share and we spoke / to be acting with the environment and each 
throws the dice with your energy / shape / behavior. 
Friday, 12 
October 2007 
Teachings of a Diploma in Father Light of Life 
I thank my Father this contribution to my teach-ing 
well ... a little of everything ... this is how we shape them to me ... when we are attentive to life ... 
At around us ... with sensitivity to all 
Light Reflective 
Think I'm Crazy Logo 
Sunday, 28 
October 2007 
Morning Light 
How good is like waking up in my world, with the canary to sing, the fish swimming and oxygenate the tree. I present to you my accomplices: 
The Canary Pintas enchants with her singing. 
The Fish and Smartie that nothing slips over the water. And Bonsai Amazon breathing and inspires. 
In addition to this glittering and inspiring three beings of my world, most dwell a world globe under the window 
which amounts to the world as it was 20 years ago, only 
For example there was still the Union of Socialist Rep.- 
Soviet lists. I have still two roses of the desert, both composed by the time grain of sand of deser-to make me envision a world united under these roses are a globe in its original color which to me means perseverance and another painted in shades see - 
des strong that symbolizes hope for me. In my world I write, I imagine, and I feel as if unperturbed. In a perfect warm and bright with the morning to write some loving soul here who want to imagine the rose of fraternal union. 
Tuesday - 20 
November 2007 
200 Days with the "vulgar" Filipe Moura 
I woke up in a reality different from the usual and explore in the fields of writing through this blog would expand my being. 
I reflect on how the transmission of thought and equate it to a light and power. 
As we all think about multiple perspectives need to follow a chain. 
The soul has moments of disturbance. The way we look is not always naive. 
The energy expands. Troubled minds with misdemeanors are perpetuated ados. 
The voices in unison they sound louder than one voice. 
Words are an art of expression. 
From now on there will be inspiration. The heartbeat is the rhythm that expands the veins. 
The prosecution is done by stealth. 
Everything has its Q. We all believe in evil. Sometimes they make us shut up. 
We all think. The memories are not always present. 
Pratiques not hate because it is bad. Not every time the opportunity at the right time. 
Sometimes just because we suffer. We all have freedom of expression. 
Nothing more honest than truth. I have several forms of expression. 
Being well is to have balance. 
Balance is a series of routines. Being nervous is an imbalance. People like commenting. 
We all have purity. The sun is a source of energy. 
Love generates universal compassion. The abnormal is nothing happening. When we all forget. There are always multiple perspectives. Many ideas few convictions. 
There are things irremediable. All are subject to injustice. 
Love is a source of pleasure. 
Always alone and protected. There are people who do not like to think. 
Consciousness is a flashlight that enlightens us. 
We all have vices. Sometimes we fear. We all say stupid things. I do not write for anyone. 
We all have something we do not want to remember but it's nice to know when we are sad and always admit it and not hide it. 
We all have vulnerabilities. We all feel the pleasure of something. 
When the opportunity lurks opens the door for him. There is a sentiment felt toward the other. Nobody is Nobody and therefore everyone has to say-to shine. 
Friendship is always a good principle that a friend is another self. 
Follow your instinct that you see the positive. 
All we can be loved and to love we love is light generator. 
When we observe that we are loved-up feeling. 
Love yourself and increase the birthrate. Always with the words in games crossroads. No doubt a sentence but with its antagonistic logic opera-ca to avoid suffering. 
"What the old have not wisdom but pru-ness" so listen! 
We all know good and evil and we have our hand in this decision to be good or bad. 
Some sanity is madness. Really know is important and if possible to be in graduate school life. 
I'll turn for you, for me and for those who like 
me. Change to evolution. 
Tuesday - 27 
November 2007 
Associations electrifying 
I! Sorry! Think! Apprehend! Capto! 
expando and energy all day! Light attracts light! 
Power is knowledge! Knowledge is learning! 
Learning is finding out and feel! 
Reflecting feeling is! 
Pick up is learning! Apprehend is true! Perform self! 
I am, thou art, It Is, We Are, They are! We are all I have! 
And I have Are They! And they is us! 
And just who are we? We are why we exist! 
We exist because we were created! 
Creation by design! Light of Life! 
Light of Creation! Imagination and Reality! 
Dualism between what we want and what is fact! Interpretation of the facts that are true! 
Reality that surrounds us! Habitat where we were Created! Kinda makes us! Transformation / change! innovation and change! CYCLES change STEPS! A phase transition! 
transition BARRIERS! 
TRANSPOSE overcome CYCLES AND DIFFICULTIES! 
difficulties CREATED AND imaginary or real-DE! 
difficulties / problems interaction BETWEEN THE SUB-CONSCIOUS AND AWARE! 
conscious AND ACHIEVEMENT! AND PROJECTION unconscious! projection OF U.S.! 
existence! 
We exist soon I EXIST! WE ARE U.S.! 
a WORLD! 
a WORLD, IN U.S. MANUFACTURED IN U.S.! we ACTING ON THIS WORLD AND WE ON THEM! 
I act UNDER PART OF YOU! 
YOU CURRENT ON THEM! 
they ARE the world! 
world OF BEINGS! 
beings, WHICH ARE OR NOT! living or inanimate! produce light catches light! Light energy! 
Power POWER! power is DESIRE! You will want! You want real! 
all got to MEET THE REAL! It's real FACTS AND PERFORMANCES! behaviors ACTION IS! 
ACTION AND RESPONSE TO THE WORLD! world's TRANSFORMATION IN ACTION! transformation is MODIFICATIONS! 
change is real! Change Is A WISH PERMANENT! permanently ENCALECE ARE IN A WISH! 
desires can be overwhelmed! or ALL THAT WISH THERE IN THE WORLD! dissatisfaction! 
by CAN NOT HAVE THAT AND DOES NOT EXIST! lack UNREAL! thinking NOT FACTUAL! no factual NOT attainable! not attainable DESPAIR! hopelessness grief! 
suffering SO THERE! 
WHAT ATTRACTS THE WISH THERE! 
if WISH THAT DOES NOT EXIST! we will not achieve HAPPINESS! achieving happiness WISH! 
unhappiness unfulfillment NOT WISHING ALCAN-able targets! 
not reachable! 
produces depression! 
depression psychological state than not be realized. 
not DONE, NOT FACTUAL UNREAL! 
In the world there IRRE FACTS EXIST! FACTS AND forces presumed MUN-HOW DO YOU are not within reach! 
IS SPIRITUAL ACHIEVABLE is not! Spiritual IS A WAY TO FEEL THE U.S.! all LIVE WITH SPIRIT! spirit / PREPARATION! 
motivation that drives us SOMETHING! 
impulsion TO ACT! 
ACTION ON OTHERS! ACT, ACTION! 
other THEM, THEY SELF! I VS they (world)! SOCIAL world! 
learning BEHAVIOR! seizure KNOWLEDGE! knowledge of the true facts! THE gun knowing knowledge! transmission KNOWLEDGE! BETWEEN U.S. WE THEY WORLD! THE WORLD IS BEING know HIM! 
THEY ARE we THE WORLD OF KNOWLEDGE! 
all have some knowledge! 
share knowledge and learn! 
learning and sharing! You live COMMUNICATE! communicate and relate! relate to and interact! 
ACT is interacting over the world! 
ACTING ON THE WORLD IS TURNING! transform the world through the knowledge is EVOLUTION! 
be knowledgeable evolve! 
You know TRANSFORM TO KNOW! TRANSFORMING KNOWLEDGE IN THE WORLD! multicultural of wisdom! 
infinite wisdom! 
Unreachable infinite! 
It UTOPIAN be wise! Utopian IS A DESIRE TO ACHIEVE! will! 
It will force the inside! 
The inner strength is I! The self becomes the world! 
WORLD TRANSFORMED BY THEM. they are changing the world! 
who transforms WE ARE THE WORLD! through REASON! reason JUSTICE! 
justice EQUAL RIGHTS! WE JUST rights The U.S.! duty TO THEM! 
We must BE FAIR TO THE WORLD! 
act with conscience and THE BASE OF THE REAL! 
act with conscience-AIS IRRE WITH FACTS! 
FACTS IRRE imagination! 
creation imagination! THERE IS WHAT MAKES IT! creation POWER OF IMAGINATION! able to create and be FREE! freedom and knowledge! Understand and interpret! 
You interpret ASSUME! You assume COMMITMENT! PACT's commitment! It is compact JURA! 
It swears loyalty! 
True loyalty! 
Truth Is One! 
I am one! 
we ARE ONE WORLD! 
WE THEY are you. BEINGS. 
grow and be happy. being and existence. 
There is real. 
and realities that exist AND WE ARE THE WORLD! 
world of living beings and LIFELESS! 
WORLD BECOMES THE U.S. AND FOR YOU AND FOR THEM. 
THE WORLD IS CHANGING! 
evolve and be more knowledgeable! 
be knowledgeable and KNOW! 
You know KNOW! 
knowledge and experience! experience and feel! experience and knowledge! 
only feel when he experiences-MOS! 
only try if you want! 
option FREEDOM OF EXPERIENCE WHAT WE WANT! 
right, DUTY TO BE RESPECTED! 
not WANT, WE DO NOT KNOW! 
do not KNOW not turn MOS! ACQUIRED KNOWLEDGE! 
by EUS BUSINESS WORLD! 
not KNOW, WANT TO ANOTHER QUESTION TRY U.S.! 
elationships Tiram UP OF EXPERIENCE AND I DO THEM! 
THINGS THAT ERRONEOUS there from another EVER EXPERIENCED! 
And common sense IS NOT WHAT IS GOOD! sense COMMON WISDOM OF LIFE! Wisdom of Life!
shared experiences! 
acquired knowledge! Through interaction, INTERACT is TRANFOR-MAR! 
INTERACTION is the WORLD! 
We are the world! WORLD AM I, you, we, you, them! sharing, FRIENDSHIP! 
COMPLICITY friendship! 
SHARED values! 
SAME U.S. IN SEVERAL us. COMPANIES ARE to us. all HAVE A FRIEND! AMONG WE CAN TAKE ACTION! 
BETWEEN THE ACTION WE ARE AFFECTING THE IT! 
he WORLD! allocation WORLD! transformation! 
transformation NEW U.S., WE, THEM, YOU! a new world. new REALITY. 
Sunday - 16 
December 2007 
Desire 
Give me a kiss ... like those you know?! Give me a kiss hidden, like those who filches We each other 
when the desire was growing ... Give me a kiss ... Suave ... From those ... you know! 
Sweet ... sweet ... to know you! 
I give you a kiss my ... 
Insomnia 
Do not Sleep, because I do not want to sleep, I would rather live. Here is an obstacle that keeps me awake. 
I will face it with insomnia 

Monday, 24 
December 2007 
Shadow Wolf Caricuao 
Shadow Wolf was lost but found. 
Protected, but only by choice. Feed your skills and solid chemical impres-fissile h20. 
In the purity of his own shadow for adventure dives and had a touchdown, Caricuao. 
Tal Como Lobo was protected, but by attitude alone with an nho, plunged in solitude apparent. 
I write today with Wolf Caricuao face their world and interpret it. 
Friend does not live independently without their wild nature, but a real newbie charitable life, the embryo Caricuao where I graduated as a young blood has loyal, honest, above all, a fearless nature, but essential in its fierce and loyal friend and respectful of their companion and friend. 
So faithful traveling companion and always interpreted with care complicity and silence. 
I have lived enough to know a little AS-Shado ws Caricuao the streets and C ¬™. 
But I saw courage in the wolf and he established link confidant and statutory change as to its freedom. One thing that the wolf had was freedom, but was 
alone, alone! and Free! 
Wolf Shadow Shiny Extra energy in its Human 
way of being. With its independence imposed Bark-ing the jungle nature of genes. 
I decided to share its spirit and cod supper alone with the wolf or wolf Caricuao shade better than both free in unison fraternally linked by a single dish and their drink. 
We are alone by choice? Of course we are free to think as in the nature re-form. 
Was present for me this Christmas Caricuao the Wolf, but he wild for inborn genetic environment pulls him their chromosomes to the feeling state of pure-za free in their own nature. 
Enigmatic as the way of life but powered home to live and enjoy your lonely side but free of any restriction or imposition. 
Tuesday, December 25, 2007 
Shadow Wolf and I are Friends but uncharacteristic in its way of acting in an unconventional way of coercion of others, we are free by mother nature and so what we have grown and induced in the infiltrate. Havana Club is the essence of insanity in the same thirst for revolution and take account of our being here is a free but lonely pact with the collaboration of instinctual to canine. 
Tic Tac Toe 
With all due respect, allow you to you and me! What do you think of me and I of you? 
I am grateful to him for me to have read, understood, perhaps the! 
Turning to some of the considerations if I've read has claimed at least their elationships eloquent .... Unwrapped gift to the legal hour already .... a midnight mass or the game here is terrible cock Question!? 
March 16, 2008 
Reflection to ecstasy intelligible communication to a minimum and mere echo of the silence that takes us away. 
Instruments are words even in a single stinging pain of rejection. 
Physically but not insurmountable obstacle for the hormonal chemistry and spiritual being of light. Celestial bodies invade us for the flowering of pansy. 
In search of love clover, because the wealth is to understand the multifaceted beings, and always with something to add to this view. 
Another addition, a further increase this desire for compassion and tenderness for us exiles self-esteem in the social representative. 
I view the prospect of one and indivisible, not combining it any more by desires that will arise in the circle. 
This circle of gold, covenant of good faith, loyalty and respect, especially the duty does not exist. 
We are pure and savage mode of action, and nothing more selfish than me, who only to be so without invading the pre-one with your point of view. 
Inflamed the minds capable of a simple clash of ideas, it is urgent appeal to common sense. 
When should I bring the yield or the other. Nothing more trivial reject what we do not want is easy. 
LOVE is love and yes feeling the other and not me. Constructive attitude of the bond between us being, suffering from a harmony that by living together with other beings. 
Printed in instinctive behavior only think of me, then at me, and now I again. Is a conflict because I turned into selves and 
well you never know how many selves we have to endure until 
yield to another. It's kind of come to us that is always open. I's attention to itself to be very expensive, but you and that how selfish we are. 
Well the armor of self one day it will be so-that cries out for you and that's that there are more I's I's that pop Armor. 
And then how to stay ahead of the mirror and be reflected only the self exists because it's all I have-that's me shouting at the world's. 
Because we were alone, and then when we wanted to be soli same adjectives just because of the selfishness of many I's I's against. 
Loneliness that word that much self-esteem but that has not created any more I love you. 
Love: I and thou 
Omnia vincit love 
LOVE CONQUERS ALL 
March 21, 2008 
Oh and if you knew you wanted Oh what you know and you should never Why this anxiety and homesickness is wasteful because it is serious 
You come from there to here I do not see how it would not give It would be a perfect 
You came and brought 
Neither you bring or show up 
Oh what a pain and not wanting power 
But you can not wish I wish the meeting a point 
Such is the life I have many very colorful colors 
I put a pints 
You should be here 
Near me 
I can not see the garden roses bloom and fade white petals fall 
Longing and desire 
Never alone, no dump 
I'm here 
You are here 
And I want you here 
And your beautiful brown eyes are like olives sea When I feel them 
Only you remind me 
I woke up I woke up I left the Dark Without nostalgia 
I found myself involved and 
The passion the desire in everything I saw and remembered 
Strong kisses, hugs strong 
All we did, and received 
And do not ask 
The rebirth appeared to be, and did not ask to be with Love 
Painless 
Saw, I wished I had 
And I remembered everything I have 
It was all they could no longer insisted was given love, affection, compassion, passion for Everything
That word never says no 
At a heart 
Free and waiting 
Nor to give what is asked 
There Donation 
It really is giving, without asking 
Or require 
If you do not hear no one 
No parts, gives 
Search the shovel 
And find the elixir 
The treasure that no amount, just what a treasure is not gold 
It is lasting love 
You knew exactly what I wanted But I do not say you've seen that there 
Something profound, something that he saw 
But did not testify 
It was a power, without having 
It was born, grew up without seeing inside of me That likes me 
And I wrote to you, and I saw what was growing inside me was love, was something I wanted but had not, but loved desired fact 
As he liked to see it grow That Everything happening at dusk 
Without fear, without trepidation Not afraid to fall asleep Warming loneliness 
As a hand on the heart 
You were there by the window 
Not seen you, but I met, I felt 
The perfume was hers 
A smell of sandalwood and jasmine 
Heard but not heard 
However I realized 
I was not there and I recognized 
Yesterday was the same, but today was different 
I saw, smelled and heard 
It was face to face 
Unique, something special was hurt and found it was essential to breathe and inhale 
I breathed for you, not seen you, do not feel 
And was not the end 
Why were there, but this Far away I asked a monk 
That shows the front, the future 
And guess who were there the background, looking in the window without seeing you, not give you became involved with the air 
It took me into the sea 
I gave you to know the smell of sea air 
The moist breath and joy 
It was what he saw 
The sea, sand, moist air 
And yes your BREATHING 
March 28, 2008 
I light that cigarette thoughtfully and enjoy the harmony between the subject and thinking 
Makes me wander between rows and flows of thought and ideas Aims interactions between writer and reader 
I never read from cover to cover what I wrote 
How strange, but I know that someone reads 
Why will they like, will that affect what I intend to convey is something vague or 
The cigarette went out and I think for me 
Or did it? I do not know, but I write as a form of spiritual and intellectual liberation 
It does me good I want my readers will be contented and well 
I opted for another kind of writing more concrete Lately I'm not much for light and power 
But through love and understanding 
Destinations, mind, love 
Blare the kind words for someone who likes to read something more Affectionate, sensible and I'm open arms When love, trust 
Without conflict and want to be ambivalent 
In my words I am most direct and concrete I get the feeling 
This feeling that unites the reader to writer 
Affinities so I want to be spontaneous but I have always been appealing to friendly words 
Agreement between the letters 
That come together and form sentences 
Always-connected, and very realistic hope 
Thoughtful words, phrases, meditative 
Sorry if I do think 
But it's nice to think that it is not about nonsense For it is something that exists 
Just to say that I too am of this simple way shape or through a Vulgar Filipe Moura 
For all unusual 
I read it not so much apathy is commonplace to read what I write 
And I confess, I read little but when I do that to me also makes me think 
Here is my challenge Read it and continue to read and THINK. 
I am grateful and happy more than to think that somebody else thinks 
Thoughts! 
You may not feel 
I feel like rain on the stone 
Enter the holes on the sidewalk are united under sand and earth connection hard and demanding 
No place, no space 
Here is a stone or more effective relations Stone, earth, sand We walk on them so are the relations 
Interaction between cold stones 
With or without sand or earth 
But united by the hand of the mason 
The left and perfected 
Love over all the earth should be united as the cobblestones Mason is the Man 
Linking various stones 
And not turn hearts of stone 
But feelings moldable 
The other part that we should be one set of parts that together could handle any weight Neither the wear of time 
Dare destroy the ride as we stepped 
So are the people suffer more load But if they joined the impact is less 
Join the other part with Love 
Love will be the sand and earth that unites us 
No weaknesses, just wear 
Minimized if all the pieces are together 
And just cobbled 
Man perfects its own 
Stone and joins the other 
Together we are strong and provide a path 
Far and solid throughout the world 
It's something that unites us Here is a lego fortress type unbreakable united whole and flawless 
If each stone suffers wear 
Nothing but sand to put in place 
The Stones as men have a lifetime As the stones Man is replaced due to wear and lifetime 
There are small stones, large and so well 
Ones that fit by Nature Others are required lapidary So is Man on Earth 
Will be molded to fit 
In the right place 
Visualize with a puzzle in which all the pieces fit together so everyone has a website 
And no less important than others 
That is a puzzle without pieces 
A distorted image 
We are all needed in the World 
Planet Earth needs all the men and women 
No one is nothing, everything has a form Form to be living and connecting to another Here is a Huge Earth Puzzle 
Where we live and we are connected to each other without knowing 
But all play an end to the puzzle 
A few more rights, others bent, but it is natural that after all we all fit one way 
This sidewalk is the harmony between human beings That all work together for the same purpose and the love connection between peers 
How do we define ourselves if others do not show they feel and not tell the truth there is Feeling 
There is something to share 
And if it hurts live also share costs but because they do not solve all problems without For if mind 
And we dressed up our feelings are our face The face 
And when you love someone you should be shown the face Just like how she is sorry if I'm Like 
But I show how I am 
And show your face And my face is not for sale Not to be too costly because the money never bought nor do I want to be 
On sale, much less buy one 
But one thing is certain 
I am against the euro in favor of the guy not the crown who say they purchase all 'Cause I'm no king and I do not want the crown but faces with feelings 
Because with suffering is not suffered There 
And if it does not suffer sold 
It was purchased happy because money has never seen 
The face shows everything 
And it takes chutzpah to take them to me what we are Because we are not good 
Nobody is good enough because one day the crown replaced the Face 
And that would crown faceless 
The same pain 
The same passion 
It was Love 
Passion 
It was our imagination 
Our implementation From the imaginary real, I'm loyal 
In the passion, the love of ardor 
And even in pain 
For this thy splendor 
And I am actor 
In our World 
Are silent film actress 
But our passage 
It is a Shooting 
What romantic movie sings a song "Here's our Ardor 
Love without pain " 
You could Be Thou art I'll be 
So we looked and we both see 
The same perspective 
The same course 
The same future 
Our corner Everything fits the same space 
It takes everything I am projecting the idealizing 
Anyway For the same path to work the same way I breathe and sigh 
You sigh when you You were afraid of the future was hard 
See you suffer 
Because there were no hurt 
Wound 
It was life 
You know yes 
I do not know if yes 
Why imagine 
And imagination is not reliable 
But I know yes 
We are together even separate 
Just being here 
I communicate you respond 
I know where you are 
You never know 
If I am 
But I find myself here and there 
And I'm always there with you I still do not know For just wonder 
But imagine all the good 
There is no border barriers is I and thou 
We both always on here we are Bound Together or apart, I need you 
And you from me 
You act I react 
Tu ris I smile 
You speak I approve 
You look 
I see 
Seest thou I agree we are always in tune How I want you 
Just as you wish for a kiss I travel 
Corro 
Flight 
Stumbling always 
But do not fall crippled me You're the Cure 
My desire 
I promise I'll 
And find out to meet you all and know nothing 
Because I had already imagined what would the future I saw you and feel you feel me too 
Well you read what you wrote and what I felt was close to where I want you near me Supero riot 
Excuse me but there is no battle at crow's nobody's fault 
Why do you want to see Even without looking I know 
You see I wonder what is real Imperial Conquest 
It was not imagination was glance No foolin ' 
April 2, 2008 
Zero or invalidity Behold nobody quit the game when someone reaches What we want 
Sit performed Temporarily Happy 
For the ambition is to win and then win over So Happy to reach 
Frustrated because they always want more hit and no more thingy Excuse me now and I'm happy 
but then I've thought another wish But then Mr. genie grant me three wishes not 
But a desire to plow And even now Mr. Genius not fade away 
I feel like any more 
Thing 
Behind the beauty 
Is the character 
This force that drives us to always follow the Personal and practical idealism 
So argues it an ideal 
Behavioral and Social 
Individuality, my dear 
This difference that marks the attitude 
To act and achieve 
According to one idea, one thought 
One way to be 
In accordance therefore in search of, or coming to Pride this force of nature 
Allows us to be who we are 
Being Single and Generators 
Reason's own 
When any one of us aspires 
Be Special 
Is not you believe it already Pier One day you put up with We support 
But also we love and faith Struggle With Stand 
Want to go down without 
Falls 
Without a parachute 
All sins undone in no excuse Sorry 
And upa! 
Your green, your brown 
Your charm 
Princess 
The soul is lit 
I love you, because you want to live, breathe 
Cheerful marigolds 
Your colors 
I heal the pain 
Your brightness 
It's my fascination 
Your beautiful, beautiful hair 
Hit there 
Create links between the root of the heart to kill the loneliness 
I welcome gratitude 
Why this passion 
This hand 
That touch, that smile 
Which leads me to paradise 
April 7, 2008 
I saw you I looked up I noticed 
I looked again I went back to repairing liked 
I loved 
Amei 
It was a gesture of love 
April 9, 2008 
Were so-so and I said yes to me 
I saw that it was not like I asked you how you were and nearly wept 
I felt sad 
And you have asked 
Do not be so even as you asked me 
Be happy that I 
I'm like you 
If one day you find yourself lost in thought as a starting point I thought that life 
It's a map and I find you And I told you welcome the journey begins here and that nothing 
Already have account with me and I have 
In your hideaway It gives me a beijito And everything is Beautiful 
April 14, 2008 
Imagine 
Write Without reading without creating Listen 
Without listening 
Study 
Here's a decorating theme without a theme must see and feel 
And let yourself go 
In letters in the words In sentences with Me In the poems are all topics 
Today I am today without the past Modernized 
While I remember and I forget Everything new in this 
I feel I understand the truth in the old face 
Eye eye 
And I see you and without demagoguery or I'm spontaneous Ironies 
I am punctual and factual 
Actual 
Today was so Forget it does so how would 
If there were no previous moment comes from inside the outer eye I remember 
I exist and I see myself 
In the now 
The moment had been 
It was 
I can only look 
This 
Face time 
The instant 
The events of the past but not now 
That word came up almost emerged from the instruments of 
In fact only one 
Of wanting 
A will 
Finally a pleasure 
Just write 
But he said nothing matched the sight of this was born the day and 
Writing Power Joy 
From a man who lives 
Your day to day 
Floats 
And almost vanishes 
The clear water 
And serene 
The face that runs through tender tears are running on your face Girl From From From Mrs. woman who sometimes loses 
And I do not know well 
Whatever 
But it aspires to be so sweet 
As Cherry 
Are letters 
Sometimes words are as silly as clear Others come from the inside with glow 
Do not know if 
But I feel a burning rage from a wound 
A trip 
A trip 
By turning your intimate is a way One In Your World and 
I see him looking deep 
I know what I feel I know what you fear I know what you 
I know your wishes 
On these afternoons these lonely nights Is there a passion there want to close my eyes Feel 
Temes 
Want 
And as I think In your smile and eager Alegre 
Waiting for someone brave 
Steal take Invade 
But do not take 
The I 
What is your 
Our dream 
Our meeting in a river I smile 
You play with a rock under the water that moves and moves 
The stone is hard, but you are pure water and 
Owners of larger 
Humor 
If I sit 
I reflect 
I write between lines 
In the imaginary 
Type in fish aquarium where nothing nothing and nothing But do not get tired of Breathing Oxygenate 
And look 
Freedom From one day to swim Swimming 
Without the tank that holds 
And so yes dream 
Hello 
I see you there 
I ask how you 
I'm more or less I hear you say And I think the more I see the woes 
Less of your 
I see too 
Never the less 
What I saw and felt and do not worry you vacate 
Your mind 
Positive and creative but never was negative was constructive 
Tomo coffee 
Lose faith 
Someone grabs me 
I grab what protects me Someone who never will forget me 
And tell me Are you there Yeah 
I want you happy and contented Alegre As everyone is what I want 
The evolution in this population so there is passion 
I looked ahead I saw you was this lovely Magic Era 
All I wanted was you only you Just you and me 
How happy we were I was looking at the rain that was falling and 
Wet and united in love We all 
Swamped by 
These drops of magic and all the joy that was conveyed 
Whenever I Whenever I write 
It's something that I see 
I remember 
And I see you always 
In front 
In the future, and 
In this I want you to always 
Whenever I think I see you with me navel Navel Body with Lip-lip body United 
More than friends 
Where 
It was something I saw 
And it said was something I wanted and I felt 
A strong link Something Without Distress 
Put yourself in my imagination was creating something beautiful 
In yellow 
Like the Sun 
That never goes out 
And that radiates Energy All Day 
When I turn out the light 
Darkens 
All dark 
I enter this dimension There's a reason Darkness 
No motivation 
No imagination 
Do nothing 
The void 
Do not see Everything is projected in the dark 
Imagine if a wall is obstacles Worst Tips tentacles that starts the show I turn on the light Even when the curtain rises 
I dream 
Think 
But do not think Just like nothing is equal 
The mind thinks differently from people to people You think 
I also 
Well! We think and act always unique 
One is the 
To happen 
As I see the darkness 
I am a passenger 
No love light 
How am I whole body parts Sleeping 
Emotions broken by the tone 
By the sound 
That tells me relax and absorbed Emphasized By Ear 
I'm reappearing 
Do not fall asleep 
But perhaps 
Best forgotten 
Anything to relieve 
The tension 
The pulse I'm standing Tailed Restated 
Perhaps it is already past and am I free myself But there's always quiet solution to the issue 
Not react 
But act 
I take care of the situation 
Here's a good time 
To cap the 
Sofrid√£o 
April 18, 2008 
I thought I dreamed I woke up 
I saw you in a dream 
It seemed a tale You were the one that had more Charming 
More Beauty 
Air Princess Eras It was not my inspiration imagination 
Knight was 
Your warrior 
For your sake I had any action 
Without armor to protect the heart 
Were you sleepy ABRIS mouth you fall asleep I thought of you 
Reclining Laying Beside you 
I asked for a kiss 
Bestowed upon him a desire 
I wished to be with you 
I found myself 
The dream of you 
See you serene 
Your amaryllis petal perfume seduce me drives me 
To meet you 
I'm dizzy 
We are hindered in your roof to see the stars 
Thrust me to you 
And to get lost 
You make me smile 
You make me feel 
It's so nice to let me 
Go 
Besides 
There is nobody 
You're so kind 
One of over a thousand or more improved infinity is so cute 
I feel for you 
More is impossible to feel 
It let me go 
For you 
By your magic 
For your joy 
April 19, 2008 
You're a cutie 
You're a toddler can walk upright You are so dear 
You're a good friend I want you with me You're funny 
You're the best 
You are the greatest You're everything I wanted and wanted a beautiful son 
You are very caring You're smiling You're a very friendly 
You are the greatest joy 
You're my son 
You're my world 
Pesky Boy Maroto 
Are you James 
My puppy 
What are my kid and my kid Giro cool 
Are the other day Your smile, Your joy energies are 
Something fascinating 
Pure 
Pulas jump the fence about you About me Because Sweet 
Come and give me me 
Your pudding so sweet You're so cool All day 
You 're always smiling 
And ready to go In the street, the garden You're a naughty boy, a 
I love you 
And you love me I want you to know that you always beside me 
Traveled under the clouds flew under the heavens I've been on the planets 
On Mars and Jupiter on Mars decided Loving you And Jupiter 
Did you have 
Here is my Being 
Flying Pen 
From Planet to Planet 
There was strength 
There was energy 
There was joy 
It was something that conveyed 
It was Love 
Flower-shaped had the force of the sun It moved like Sunflower had willingly 
In relentless pursuit 
Of something burning 
It was a dream 
It was a victory with a goal Crush Everything dimension 
It was great 
It was amazing 
Anyway very loving 
I looked out the window 
I noticed on the horizon 
I glanced at Mount 
I looked forward 
I saw your star was bright Shimmering got the look I saw the moon 
It was mine and your trip was a landscape 
I saw you traveling over the Earth and under the sea followed up 
Travel 
We Conquest Over land and under the sea was just the Moon 
April 23, 2008 
Nostalgia 
It is want you want is love 
You think 
You feel 
I'm missing you 
You want to have you here 
You want the meeting 
You love yourself 
You always think about you 
You feel your presence 
Saudades 
It is to be without you 
And to think 
And want 
And feel you And love you without seeing you and wish you With 
The five senses: 
Vision that sees you without being, Smell no smell you, 
Hearing to hear you and not make noise, Taste delight me without you prove 
Tact and not touch you 
... Nothing better to remember and feel 
Nostalgia 
But feel like designing something is very vague Imagine 
Create and transform 
To read someone write what I do not know But I know why 
But lack inspiration 
I have to take a position 
To face this situation From writing and have something to read I am beginning to think I let go Trying to quit 
It is not easy 
Get 
April 30, 2008 
If one day there To tell adventures or misadventures 
Just one day 
Or 1 year 
Today I can see past 1 year 50 days are 365 days per year 
7 days a week 
24 hours per day 
Stay here a little from 50 days to 365 times per year For these few days of the week 
And some 60 minutes by 
24 hours times 
Finally, 
Live the moment! 
June 19, 2008 
Was Abstracted 
Vim had gone there was deep A little crooked 
It was a little strange but it was not dream I was awake 
Ready to roll the dice 
It was in front According to the Mind Works 
Imagined 
And most of all was something I created and 
Then I had to live with my being and it It's live and 
Be 
You know something? There are things 

That transform 
Stuff 
That's something 
And that thing was something Causes of n things But when? 
When it was transformed and 
Actually the thing 
Outside 
Anything 
Anyway things in life! 
Under mist was the flying was air 
Just by breathing 
He was wanting 
Winning Without fear was the moonlight from the sea 
I was the captain 
It had everything to hand on board the trip arose the image of the battle was a feat 
June 26, 2008 
If this is a day passes 
Oh what joy, one would 
Closed doors, open windows 
And fearless flight in the paradise Some make me perpetuo court Unconsciously By mutual agreement 
There are scattered notes, in an environment 
There is a very hot place lilies, marigolds Do you wish there 
There wet earth, wet On the ceiling, a lamp and helpless Overshadowed 
Secure to the filaments of reason 
Tension rises 
There are hard times 
Even tough 
But nobody 
But even if nobody knew 
What does one understand 
And realized 
How to be alone in the crowd 
Here's a catch 
Living without there 
And above all, very wanting 
Living 
I smiled for a moment I cried by woes did not understand what I wrote But most felt 
I saw nothing and everything looked Because then I cried because I just 
And never let you 
But I know nothing This is the perfume that expanded and lit the sharp pain 
Passion was time to say no because then only 
So there was something 
Something moved 
On the veins ran 
Blood From a sometimes distant heart does not pump that was just to get an idea 
As the passion hits 
Even strong and powerful in the soul of a particular era indigent people 
And mind Why was afraid of something that feels 
Ultimately 
There is always a beginning and an end I think I deserve It's not for me Not for you 
It is both 
Why we love 
And we also reject 
Something that just something that is born and grows flowers 
What does it all one day there 
And in a second disappeared 
So was all that was happening 
Not only because they wanted a 
Living one day and one more time 
Ever-shifting 
Without being very important 
It was a time 
It was time for a setback 
Was and was no longer was enough to believe sometimes reborn 
And do not look like I could imagine was the truth At an early age what is true 
It is shown in the act 
In one action to win a heart fruit of the imagination 
No link was anything or anyone say no one 
What happened was something he feared All that shaking was not in vain 
It was as passers 
The hand with a mop There is always someone on the side Do not 
Well then we must say yes 
Even thinking about not 
This is not to be right 
But the yes is not always the case and was never wanting 
But sometimes making a yes This is not transformed into the sincerity 
Fight for Freedom From An act is not true and not a yes why not 
I am and I'm not alone in wanting to be because I am Alive 
And when he was thought to be 
Be to expand 
And write to sleep He walked and ran while riding was stopped was in process and result of smart thinking Liberto 
Was aware of the movement 
He walked and walked 
Just because she loved 
I'm really not being 
For this world 
Loving 
I do not believe in superstitions I believe in man and his inventions Issues 
Assumptions Imaginations Illusions 
Be it with ions or protons to create rockets Light is energy and this could not be seen but produced 
Without guide Ia and was able man was so vulgar was only imagine And Create 
There was no sense the sixth sense As stated 
But it was so real what happens whenever he wanted 
June 28, 2008 
If we lived briefly 
for a moment, they are eloquent or even hot, nobody would say that love was pain that hurts 
Imagine love without pain 
Whether it is what is needed with glow Burning From a longer breathe That you would imagine 
The truth is in love 
And give, not even Even seeing suffering but rather to inflict pain and Feel the Love 
Even without seeing, but mostly wanting to protect her love of pain Protection establishing relationship Coming of emotion 
Love without reason 
For then the pain comes from the heart 
In your eyes I see the sea 
I get that just by looking at love in the sand Beat eyelashes tears They roll in the waves I see a beach with shells and stars Stumble 
A cry, a grain 
Therefore feeds 
My heart 
July 1, 2008 
If you suffered 
It was because I did not see or can not do what i experienced 
Sunflower smiles 
Rejoice 
And Beautify 
With the beams of the Sun 
Free yourself 
And it shows your beauty 
What choke 
Fears that mad all have a little something that was moved 
I did not see how this happened was a torment 
For a long time How could Facing a whisper Now do not laugh 
Because someone saw 
A man 
Hesitated for a moment that just because he looked left and there 
What nobody noticed 
Why is silenced 
I suffered from something 
I lived 
I suffered 
Like I did 
The night was cold 
I rejoined the road with everything and anything with an A in one 
But as he had never been beyond anyone I was short 
If in your eyes Visse sure Agia clearly had the knack And From sadness 
Now that the uncertain Agias No, you were wrong Then I looked at the ceiling 
And everything seemed to desert me 
Oh what a pain 
Oh what a sad sight and anxious stares at me glorious 
By the time I go to the floor 
Just because it falls 
Then I went down in humility 
From all that is in humanity 
The Voice of Silence The disturbing silence unsettling 
Of someone 
That does not say so 
Become happy 
I woke up one day, when he lost to me said 
That there was joy 
What we felt 
And all in one day tomorrow was what I wanted to improve 
Just because there is 
Man gets sad 
July 2, 2008 
From the solitude in the darkness Reach out your hand Do not say no The one brother 
For it is not in vain 
Touch you in the heart 
If only it were to be alone 
There was no pity 
July 3, 2008 
In these rocks I sit writing to you 
What I never forgot 
Your smile 
Your company was something he always felt when I was alone 
From time to time 
Once thought of you and felt Just remember you 
July 4, 2008 
Whenever I'm dreaming I awake and look me wonder if it will be just like I imagined or even thought it only traveled Or 
The dream nothing builds 
Nothing changes 
It is a misperception So rarely is frustrating waking dream 
And all the same without Amendment, finally dream or no dream, everything stays the same 
July 6, 2008 
In an environment night 
Sad and misanthrope 
Silent and quiet 
There is however a very taciturn The shining star, a moon 
The light in the environment even more fierce and cruel 
There is hope anyone trust a being that animates us and pulls up 
A friend, a companion 
Even if true at any time Be it the ultimate 
Someone who looks at us 
With indifference 
Without belief 
It does not look with love 
Inflict pain us somehow do not believe in being a Friend and looking 
Just for your belly button one day he too will feel the difference 
Who is the friend of a friend 
And feel the belief of love 
Even in times of suffering 
What once was going to be The Man Nobody could say 
If they said it was unaware 
For man does something else happens as it was rooted 
Live from the moment we are born and grow up eventually die Everything the man did Nobody could foresee 
And do not even know why 
Fez 
This is Man and his being 
Juylho 13, 2008 
I saw in your eyes 
A certain shine 
Something did trigger 
It was intense and had a question 
What I came to love the look continued to shine 
The look I was to win shone like a star sparkling and strong 
He caught my attention was a beautiful sensation The Passion 
When you see Where you go I want to be me By the same way 
It is written in this scroll What are my shoulder to cry on Someone to want to be where I am and always want one place that we will win 
With our moon and the same star 
Always shine 
July 14, 2008 
I do not understand 
I do not understand 
Or even just do not know enough to understand To understand 
To learn 
So yeah could argue 
Was clarified 
The successful 
Was beyond what happened I just wanted to know where it started and finally ended 
I want you to know 
That despite everything 
What might happen end of which I can not predict what I will not forget you 
And you can always count on our love in any situation For there is only passion 
I looked in the dark 
I saw the depth of night 
It was time to relax Increase the song on the radio And let me take 
The night is a companion can share feelings more sensitive because it keeps well Secrets 
I like to call it silent night 
For it always has a good ear but says little though always conniving 
And so I'm happy 
July 26, 2008 
How to live prisoner 
Worldwide A whiff of freedom To relieve anxiety This feeling of imprisonment does increase the tension 
Nerves plow 
Without others seeing Behold chains that are released in us that is untied 
How to be free and natural 
The most banal or something sensual 
July 27, 2008 
How did I even thought was to write and have something I imagined and represented 
My being 
The vulgar be 
Feeling 
And see 
I write 
Everything went 
The mind 
He delighted 
I hope you read the 
Also 
July 29, 2008 
This position Lonely Single 
And aimlessly This disorientation What pushes us to oblivion 
The total loss of breath feel the desire to believe Here's what each 
Faced by living 
A look 
A sigh 
Cigarette smoke 
Expands 
One breath after another breath 
Watch the clock 
Minutes pass 
The cigarette burns slowly 
For something that I seek incessantly 
From this moment another breath, a word Before passing the time I hope that this addiction will go away 
September 15, 2008 
That happened one day ... touch of magic .... ... The Fruit of effort perseverance .... The positive attitude was something good ... 
Or even exceptional .... .... .... If such original would arise by nature ... and want to be .... Do Better and more than! 
Winner ... and overwhelming conqueror ... Anyway ... The silent night ... Tonight .... Everything in my hand 
... No one else ... Everything ... With the illusion of follow-condition ... you until you are happy or very happy .... Just because I wanted ... 
and as all part of how things feel ... Today on this day ... ... In any month in any year ... In every century ... I'm predisposed to happiness .... The live have not lived .... It does not listen to what I heard .... And es-tar where it was .... Well ... reborn to live ... make the ordinary into something subtly unusual ... ... 
Already Present in the unconscious ... Anything that we do not mind ... I am going forward with certainty ... Knowing that I do something every day ... Live 
Living always believe everything you think ... is an achievement of real .... 
if we are slaves to an addiction or some reason ... we can bypass it and leave it ... Salta flies ... ... ... runs in the senses of the imagination ... makes the heart beat faster ... at once to achieve ... 
the ultimate freedom of a person who must not be judged by his actions ... Being free is to live 
September 26, 2008 
One day he was going too fast ... I lost them, I was soon resumed back ... ... with the comfort of an off ... 
and a recovery of confidence ... I insisted and lived as if there were another shot ... I took a step slow ... but firm and confident ... I returned to the craziest race of the World ... the race called life ... it was that I fought ... 
... and reaching the goal of being happy to be well .... positioned in the final pathway that fought alone ... ... you need freedom 
... And this is the sister of loneliness because ... well ... always just departed posted the first and last place ... is only possible to be a first ... 
and finally when you run alone ... this was the fighting spirit ... but we are never alone ... we are living by yourself fren ... and that's run ... 
to live and be the first and the last when ... 
We are entering a cycle ... it is natural to depart at last ... but there are points ... 
where winners are ... ... so is life in the first place ... and last but not another ... ... so do not stop 
corridor for ... 
the race of life ... we're always winning and losing at the same time ... and yes it is to fight and win in life! 
04 October 2008 
Powered by idleness ... mused, reflecting on and finally ... ... I took a party to an action on inquietu-de ... 
man becomes unhappy when not living alone ... ... quan-do not stand to be quiet ... it is necessary to look for happiness ... 
this comes from the inside ... because if something impacien search-fearing ... from the outside as well ... this restlessness makes us sad ... 
endure the loneliness and being stopped strengthens us ... if we follow-con living with ourselves reach the plenitu-happy that one of ... ... 
which seeks nothing ... because it was found not think of it ... with an autistic way of life ... but the greatest happiness is ... 
within us. 
30 October 2008 
6TAR There ... 
6tar not there when you ask ... 
6tar when there is no need ... 
6tar there when you want ... 
6tar there even if not ... 
6tar not there when I feel ... 
6tar there when you call me ... 
6tar there when you think of me ... 
Pro 6tar there whatever happens ... 
6tar imagine there when ... 
6tar there not even trying ... 
6tar there just because yeah ... 
6tar there when you love me ... 
6tar because there exist ... 
6tar there because you dream with me ... 
6tar there being here ... 
6tar always there ... I think there 6tar ... 
November 14, 2008 
If you saw one day and say it looks interesting girl girl, did you look at something shiny 
the cheerful smile and sparkling Ages for a woman who wants Beautiful and sensual 
You were the one Who seduced me and I have ever wanted just felt so 
You like magic? It was my day to day. 
December 8, 2008 
One day I figured 
All that just because it does not know 
What I will say 
To then write 
It was different 
It was really awful 
That dream 
Being and not knowing what would happen I tried to describe 
What would ever see 
Ended here on a journey that world 
Of silence that existed 
And someone who suffered 
I think nobody should 
Do only be done 
What others do not 
For lack of courage 
They do not act, but they know how to bypass 
The well-being of someone 
Who can not look and see 
Quitting smoking and think! Extinguish cigarette, gets the brunt of the re-curing as manescente desire. 
I will write to exorcise and create. They spend 2 minutes of truth begins to write and have something more 
not be you. I'm not able, on the other hand feel a guer-ruary of that 
has more real, the win. They are 16 minutes, erasing a cigarette, a growing desire to 
relight it. Everything goes when you feel what is happening. 
I am thinking so you'll have to wait. Impetus to the weakness of desire to win everything will come as a sunset. 
Am in constant contact with desire. I think the half-hour after the last I see and feel the 
he overtook the time. Travelling in seconds, minutes are like rockets to celebrate 
each advance. 
I feel slightly, thinking how will I reach the advance. 
There is a setback because there are a lit cigarette. With 35 minutes here I want to nullify the act. 
He was not thinking it was a mechanical act and pro-sual. 
I had this access for a process of extinction of the situation. 
He put me in the fleeting, the spontaneous cre-ation. 
Words, phrases with action and connection. I hear on the radio that the plan might miscarry, and I reflect syn-to me with 
one north. 45 more minutes and here's another cigarette, I think, of course! All but almost everything makes me think and that we must confront. 
It's an hour with the result of 20 years by 30 I have. 
As we live life to 66% of us think that 100% 
33% can give us. It was complicated, but explained. 
If I really hankering to have a fight and studying means to act. 
Not easy, not difficult to go back to smoking a "just" 
cigarette. Arises at a time, and follow a route that has no project. 
Of course, I smoke about the situation. My nature was to contain purity. 
They spent two hours 03 minutes and then pen-smudging know. 
I'll be able to emerge, something will sortir. I began to smile, thinking that something was going to get. 
The easiest was giving up, but I would insist. 
Strengthening and thought only say I won. 
Something unnatural was abnormal. How will I think it is best to pretend to sleep type. 
The desire is to come but I will not flee. I am no light, but the energy never miss. 
I feel a power that lightning never dim. I will change, this will not hesitate to transform all seas. 
And I'll know why. 
A calm and ordinary cigarette, something that annoying hesitant. 
December 17, 2008 
When one day a seagull to come ... I ask you ... 
who will bring you back ... I had what I would not ... When nothing else wanted ... Lost everything ... 
How would I be without you ... Involved the description ... This passion ... 
He was a giant love and always rampant ... When I thought of you, that I lost track ... 
I here you there ... 
As I wanted to be like a volcano that shook ... 
Your heart ... 
This love giant, always triumphant ... Everywhere I sensed a desire ... Deep coming from my world ... 
You always wanted, especially when you laughing ... The look of happiness was stronger than ... All electricity, through which all a. .. 
Chain that binds us and separates us from ever ... 
I never had the intention of a fortuitous encounter ... Imagine a bridge over the river where the sidewalk ... has meant nothing ... 
I saw the figure and ran and hid ... I read in a paper words sweet as honey ... 
The letters were not crap ... Had meaning and were buried in the past ... 
Something that I thought the wind was blowing and ... His face painted with a brush in a bad frame of Loves ... 
It was you that part resulting from the art ... 
Were painted on canvas, was the one ... 
Eras 'she' ... 
The Vulto 
I escaped and ran but he grabbed me and pulled me and took me with him. 
Cursed figure that we do not see but which spreads. He is a unrecognized Vulto experience fey appearance. 
Whispered the figure: Are you afraid of a man without a face! 
Yes - with some fear. Fear not because I only exist in the presence of light. 
I have spoken of light and energy but never a man whose face is unknown and 
appears voluptuously and run fleeing without achiev-ing the physique. 
The figure is a being of darkness can not live without light. Are a strange shade that you hide in the dark and silent. 
But surges and light with that hat you display faceless, black. 
I ascend to heaven, to magnify the distortion of your eyes and light metamorphic. 
Close to heaven as one river, the river with an air of despondency and Sultan 
respond with the speed of dark skies and co-densified me to the drop 
Rain crystalline and sharp. But for a man without a face water 
pierces my body and my own major gabardine not soak. 
It is made of shadow. These figures have been recreated by the imagination for me in the silent night, 
chase fleeing the darkness and light demand. 
I am a friendly shade of misfortune. 
Vulto of all evil is not there. 
It is an apparition disappeared. 
The Grudge 
As a way to lifelong enjoyment of the soul emerges cloudy 
the sense of protection to others and the terrible buzzing of the soul. 
What rises nor falls but always rises to the brazen scam. 
What you see is really high and not the fall of the cliff. 
On the heights of the waves, where green and blue Jaze fades. 
Surge red alert as the principles of or-ters. 
The dark, gloomy, the frivolous presence is not always as it sharpens up 
the despair of a shriek and silent. 
In the words refer to the meeting sobrenatu-ral of magic that involves passion. 
Without a hitch, one letter at a wall is constructed literary river of words 
comes an inevitable fact ... where the writing flows and tears 
a joy to be unbreakable which is not opposed, but as it is 
revitalized and emerges from a break in Antarctic ice 
eu repels itself 
magic of being among beings and how outlandish that runs through fire 
burning desire to pronounce the long-advertised. He writes and translates 
The reprieve in the soul of the machine's creation. 
Amid rows and dictated this is what one thinks and says another. 
February 3, 2009 
Vertigo 
A beginning, a cliff, because time is fleeting-ro. 
The fall parallel to a bad start, cool. On tiptoe balance and give me a jump, delves deep into her mouth. 
Do not frustrate me, I jumped and I thought the vertigo. Fast heart startled by something that you imagined traveling. 
At the front, saw a lifetime in a second while sliding over the air. 
It was the free fall this fall's hit the ground ... 
... For the wet tarmac road that shines in the air I breathe deep 
It's cold! 
The wet asphalt 
Feel the fresh water that glows in the dark 
Remember the bright sky and shining 
And so was that floor ... 
... Strong, heavily impact this would destroy what was coming. The clock stopped and immortalized the moment of his pen-thickening. 
At top speed the wind came into tailspin and curling in 
himself turned around and rose, rose, returned to the previous moment in 
for no later call it so high that the fall in 
fell skyrocketing. 
Feveyreiro 14, 2009 
Pride 
Do I feel 
See how the other suffered 
Someone who felt 
And they never saw each other on the skin of others that I hope never to suffer severe spirit 
Help and mutual aid 
There is gravel on the paths 
It is these obstacles that stand proud 
Thus is born in me 
The belief because I came to the World 
To fight to the end 
And watch over you and finally get to the bottom and Wellness Meet other 
And your world 
Fencing In the art of fence there to inflict blows 
Everything passes by a sense of a hit By The tip of the sword fight suffer a 
Unintentionally, which transmits power 
To win and have 
Behold the shining be the winner and loser By fall, feels the pain 
But rises and falls due is a fighter who wins the pain Imagine yourself at the top of the last act and conjecture about the glory 
The winner and loser All Deserve the desired fighting victory 
February 25, 2009 
That Morning 
It was a sunrise ... Frivolous and annoying ... 
The tear is not too far ... 
In a rambling cry ... 
That made sense 
In the face wet ... From morning sunrise ... 
The night was preceded ... 
Had elapsed time ... 
That was a sorry ... And he said to pay attention ... 
The sun to come ... And the tears that evaporated ... 
What trickled ... And the World with the clouds ... 
Smile said ... 
Simple 
Amazed decided me decide ... From what was to come ... 
Control and this would truly test ... The decision was taken ... 
There appears out of nowhere ... Would be able to emerge ... 
From the depths of feeling he was feeling ... The time habits about to leave ... 
Courage and perseverance ... I fed on hope ... 
The chasm is clarified ... 
And the fog and treacherous wind ... That was the will to win ... Something that would achieve ... 
The lot was going to launch ... I love the Time ... 
And progress in the struggles and battles ... Flawless ... 
It was clear shot ... 
For the following days ... I hit the hand ... 
I read the hours, minutes and seconds ... 
And freed me, as if by magic ... It was the route that day ... 
Joyful and happy ... More than most people ... It was different ... 
Vineyard of the mind ... Certainly will happen ... Would bear fruit ... 
Simply ... 
February 28, 2009 
The web 
I looked around me seriously ... I saw the landscape and not ugly ... I looked at the company ... 
I saw a web where everything but everything ... 
Is connected and imagined the spider ... 
It was a plot ... A real tragedy ... 
Death was the visit of the spider ... And the web was for her a kind of supper ... 
The spider was carrying suffered most and least wove ... 
Sting people and how that would fall asleep ... This chute devouring all ... 
One day I dreamed that those who died in her web ... 
The spider was ugly ... Death ceased to exist ... 
And the mortality would succumb ... This was the dream of being immortal ... 
Without fear of the web, the spider and the life ... All perish but it is up to us ... Form the warp and can be good if ... 
For life does not get ugly ... Be willing to live and not look at the spider ... 
As the end ... But one end of a cycle ... 
From a company / web ... That is always under construction ... 
The construction of the web was changing ... And the spider, there is no solution ... It is a web, the spider and my ugly ... Imagination ... 
March 16, 2009 
Caf√© Lights 
Between cigarette 
Badly off 
And the roasted coffee 
I am present in this space 
It's a cool place and well attended 
Where people come 
Either side 
I see myself in the future 
Creating a loop in this space where I write and have to follow a target 
I hope to hit 
In about 2000 hours of which about one a day I dedicate myself in this space 
More specifically called Lights Illuminate cafe where I hope between the lines 
My day-to-day 
I feel relaxed energy 
Even for a moment I will keep a diary writing process 
Create a constant, rambling, thinking and writing is something 
I consider 
Exciting and challenging 
The Sea 
I imagine between seas Deep in my World There is life! 
Diving Ocean Writing 
Where do I see ink that flows between the lines to create beautiful texts, phrases, poems 
Or even simple reflections 
Without great attention or precipitation, even up to voltages 
There is so intent in my letter to the ocean Hunting 
With harpoons for Achieving deep hearts that they feel different 
Emotions, feelings 
But what matters is diving into the sea and Above Our Love For several seas 
March 16, 2009 
Lantern 
Do I light the lamp power to the energy that goes Here 
The Illuminated empty, with little feeling filling 
A desire awakens in me no end that turns the flame Bright lights 
One afternoon passing Slowly, very lazy is a slight awakening 
Looking for a bright and as it rises in the presence of a win being a Know 
Exhaling a perfume dense, intense and contagious odor A lo 
Feel pleasure 
When you inhale and how good is all the days never breathe the same air 
Smile 
The smile or 
I always need to 
But what makes you beautiful Inner Smile discreet sign 
Of joy and a treat Like A joy timeless fascination Very Relaxed and Natural 
When you smile wisely 
Hit me a glow That craftily do not mind and when I play is stunning Unlike 
I am slightly thinking deeply For a moment Like happiness 
The duality arises in the reality of a cheerful smile 
The one look 
Lots of shine 
As I have sometimes 
Lived 
March 18, 2009 
Fado 
A fate is a fate that marks the Ageless miss the desert But Far too close 
Headquarters to see you 
The desire of wanting 
Only you belong 
The Feeling 
Not everything we feel 
Write 
But I feel that 
Write 
Here's a way 
Simple, but 
Not that the small 
My heart hears 
Word to entrust Wind If the wind to take you some words 
He wrote in the rain with a postal What You say 
In it would make a drawing of the Sun with its rays and I would say that You're my energy for you and that my 
Sun will always shine Even on days when snow 
This was the thinking 
That the wind would 
Always blow 
March 19, 2009 
Think, reflect and act or not act 
Not expressed Sit and How it is difficult 
To feel and not express it sometimes But there need only reflect 
As before reacting to a Process and feel like a fake Pretend 
Thought control 
By not acting immediately behold the wiser So pretend 
It is a feeling 
After reflecting 
So yes a response 
We can not feel 
We can also 
Sometimes not react by a mute think and just stay 
That the presence 
It means being 
March 23, 2009 
The obstacle is the obstacle not show himself without fear Winning 
Sometimes we feel a pain 
But interest is to live and fight for us to develop Sometimes this is growing up 
And learning in the struggle for life that we have always 
Responding to the loss, misfortune 
Overcoming the obstacles is 
The maximization of I 
The pleasure is in overcoming win and give maximum 
To us the proper value from the value exceeds and Win 
On learning of losing And finally win is the essence of Living 
March 25, 2009 
Tourbillon Marine Water curling At sea, the sand 
The spin 
Drip 
Grain by grain 
A breeze rolling in the floor, grab with one hand 
The drops of the Ocean 
With another sand 
Landscape of the sea is an immense Steeped in hand to Unleash frees himself Expands a sensation who had everything in the hands 
But not everything has 
Not everything is achieved 
Sometimes it escapes from the hands 
What we feel in our hearts and the hands 
Everything has an emotion, but one that emerges forming a vortex 
June 29, 2009 
Not that what you tell is true, but not lied to 
absolute ra! 
The fiery pain of a loss. Where, but where are you? What did I do? 
I did not dream, because I agreed to wait. 
May come, save me this I murmur Shiver me apart, broken and corrupts me and says you're not! Where I am, I want more, just can not take the stand and breathe. 
Way through the fronts and behold something that keeps me moving forward. 
Because recoil and get back to where I'm not even think or be. 
I want to run away, off the cigarette, and fulminant shock rocks it. 
My heart is like this cigarette that goes out to the desire to rekindle 
Will you be the one that squeezes me in a knot and untie it. Why not, I do not want to be a loose wire that is tied, no more shaking. 
Do not want to say or say about me, let me be what I feel. 
This knot does not see that strangles and squeezes and destroys. 
That tie will be broken. 
Everything back to zero. Want to be the only logical 0 without any follow-up, do not want to be positive or negative, but you insist that you must do and happen. 
Let me. 
Why cry? 
I do not know, but always know why the tear drops and loose, I also know because sometimes I run into the errors of others and because I hold and hold. 
I want to cry, I want to hold me. 
Sa bitterness of feeling that leaves me with a cold quen which you shiver, but worth your tears, and laugh and feel. The end will take care of that end gets evicted not a tear but always lurking in the face and a tear trickles of indifference. 
I was thinking, as you are. So banal, so like what we think, are a standard deviation. 
I do not want to know what story, but I want to see 
not what you can give me and what I need not you. 
I want to me. You want as you always were, what they thought was what you were or where you were not, were doing as you make. 
I am I. 
I do not know how I started this story I think few will reach but I have no arrow or the bow, much less target. 
I have no target to hit, I do not even pon-taria, I feel that what I gain is myself, the arrow is stuck in the heart, so my pain. A lonely heart, marked by a stroke than the revitalized, the pain is too strong for the will of pumping. 
I am not free. I'll never be totally free, I love my freedom, but I feel bound by what has love for me. 
Because you love me? 
Will they love. They want to be free and arrested someone. I want him to feel alone and unnoticed. 
Do not want to understand anything, I do not think of anything, because I invades, I want away from that approved MAXIMUM. 
Do not want to say is that love freedom. Just want to drop what's in me. 
The anguish, loss. He was and is no longer. 
I came upon it without feeling left. 
This kind of do and undo and more, we say what we do. 
I do not want to do anything, will not go away, I go where I do not get going. 
Leave nothing and take him away. 
Do not cry, do not laugh, not think, do not look and feel I'm not dead. 
What a tragedy! 
I'll have to go and one day I will also succumb. 
Why? Yes, I wonder why this, why that, but do not want to think about what has already been transmitted. 
Do not want to fight, do not want to be as much as someone who never was. 
The voice tormenting those who grieve. 
Wait. 
I will travel, and I've been patiently. 
I can say that I have not got a lot so me and another missing. 
Invade me unless I do not want to say more. I do not want. 
Do not want to go back, I want to be here when the song you play music and the wind blows. 
Do not want to be the devil, do not want to be angel, do not want heaven or hell. I want the land where everything exists. 
Do not want to leave, I stay where I am, I want everything there, just me a space to breathe and think on it. 
Imagine and create my own existence. 
I just want to breathe air. I want to loose me as the air we breath. 
I saw, smelled, heard, also told you what I do not listen. 
Like I told you so much and nothing or almost nothing you rang. Is it asking too much of your attention, enough of seduction. I want to see you the raw. 
I know sometimes flay my skin to feel that I am raw and I suffer with a skin tear it costs to grow and repair itself. 
For you I am full of raw marks and wounds. 
Do not know what I want to express. But because it erodes something I desire, but I do. 
Basically I wanted to have a bit of everything or nothing, for me that I have nothing worth. 
I'm just more and you just did before. He was writing after reading what will trans-Recer what my being wants to convey. 
I know it is not easy. I think a lot will not be told too much what will be will not be understood. 
Rejected. 
I strongly reject that impoverishes me. 
The trivial things have no place in the heart there is much excitement. 
What we see at a glance you can dial in the heart. 
He can not stand, he does not want to see but feel what your eyes see. 
Never open the eyes of the heart because he could no longer see, and is suffering. 
I'm here. 
You see me? I think not! Can you feel me? Also I think not! What you see in me? 
Um, I was not here for that thou hast forgotten me, can not stand not having you, because what unites us sometimes separate us, but I tell you I'm here. 
I will not pretend 
I will write and let it flow. 
What I write is certainly a tear. 
As I wrote a tear as it is, sad, lonely, damp-da, loose. 
Let me wipe your tears, your pain, your sorrow, your loneliness, this choke is to be alone. 
Let me lick your tears, I want to drink the pain you feel 
Alone, alone. With me, it's me, just me! 
How am I? Just me. 
The feeling extends to truly feel the pain. 
How it feels to us. I think of is to go beyond what comes from abroad. 
Inward know that I exist, to exist for others just look at us, but even if I never see that 
Loose pages, loose sheets, loose sentences, 
Loose pages, loose sheets, loose sentences, 
I want to drop everything, do not want to save anything, I empty myself, just so evolve, that everything I write, it all evaporated, 
Pain fades into the letter of a phrase, every word of your pain, I write to set me free. 
Do not want to suffer. 
Another day The morning, the fresh morning air, too noisy. I want the night, silent night, where I see the light in the dark you bring with you. 
Let us unite in silence and darkness. 
Let us throw light on the blackout. Verses, songs, charms, spells, poems, phrases. 
I want to be your light in the dark night. 
As I let myself go ... 
In the deep recesses of the tides ... The harps played loud siren. I want to stay and look 
For you, without telling you what you'll write. 
To never forget you. 
Nothing! He wanted nothing 
The aim with these words is zero. I do not want you to read, nor will I write what I tell you one day. 
But now I just wanted a little of nothing. 
Do not know if you'll read, much less understand what I have to tell you. 
What I want you to notice and understand is that the accounts, but accounts for me and then you can count on me. But do not tell anybody. 
I'll expect me to death coppicing. 
Death? There is no death! 
And this is always present. I'm not afraid of death but to lose you. 
Not something that hurt me, but the experience of having and not having is the difference of being, how can this be so? 
I want nothing, for very little and nothing 
Zero, I repeat nothing, I did not know when everything and now I know what I want is nothing, if you reject what is and is not, I'll be free, free of everything that ties me and I'll let go of bitterness, than is to have. 
Simply, I just want to be! 
Can I just be me? Yes I do and nothing more, nothing that I do not want. "Timeless" 
He knocked, and came back to beat ... 
Incessantly beat with a flow ... 
Unprecedented anomaly or a wound ... Then one day he opened ... 
No more going back to do it ... 
It was the open and close in an instant ... 
How shall I say, it was my always my ... 
But in the end your ... 
He, You and I ... In a word then ... 
Heart! The profound sadness of BE ... 
It's NOT KNOW ... BE AWARE AND LEARN TO LIVE WITH YOUR INTIMATE ... 
BEHOLD THE ABYSS is tiny ... YOU BELONG AND IS SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS DES-VANECE ... 
HOW TO NO waive RELUCTANCE IS NOT ... 
THE ESSENCE OF WILL ONLY BE ... 
IS FROM U.S. THAT OWN CAN SEE IN THE BACKGROUND .... 
OUR INTERIOR AND THEN WE SEE THAT THERE IS NOTHING LESS SO ... 
HOW TO SPEAK MORE ... 
Here's an obvious thought, that I can not help express ... The lower level is where we place 
... 
Better see how the higher being, is getting closer and closer ... 
The infinitesimal know ... Where utopian ... 
Behold, to be born, live and learn and ... When we really realize ... 
It feels good, that much has moved away from knowing ... Everything and be your own ... 
What Changed? 
All My Life ... On Mute! Why? 
Why I'm Willing ... 
The Changing Face and Everything ... But Nearly All ... 
Welcome to My World ... My World Mudo? 
Intellect is the ... 
Tell Me What to Do Mode Act ... More Correct! IMAGINE!? 
STRATOSPHERE IN SIZE BUT NOT LI-Mites EXPANSION COMES A DISAPPOINTMENT OF TIMELESS MAGIC UNAVAILABLE TO OWN LEVEL OF DECEPTION ALWAYS WITH THE APPEARANCE OF THE TRUE ILLUSION TENEBRIS WORD OF DISAPPOINTMENT already pronounced, which generates INTIMATE CONFLICT OF SINGLE-NIA AGO THAT WINS ANY HARMONY. 
Enigmatic, SENSITIVE AND DEEP IS THE ENERGY NON BINDING LETTER OF MORE OR LE-TRAS VERY LITTLE LETTER WORD. 
EIS is a menhir THAT GOES WITH THE SEDIMENT AND WRITTEN MUCH IN LITTLE IS SAID. 
IN VAIN, YOU THINGS THAT ARE THE MOST There will leave thee, OTHER NON-Valera. TO SAY THAT YOU ARE THE GREATEST FOR LU-ters bully, BUT I "USE" THAT FEW VALERA, BUT THOSE IN THE IN-tiny terior COMES THE AMOUNT THAT ONLY YOU CAN GET. LIVE, GROW, LEARN, AND IN THE END WITHOUT THE PRE-UTOPIAN LITTLE KNOWLEDGE. 
EIS FOR ONE DAY A LITTLE A LITTLE, JUST ANOTHER WANT TO LEARN THAT WAS WRITTEN TO UNIFY THE ORDINARY AWARE OF KNOWLEDGE OF SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE THAT BOTH ONLY IF YOU EXPLAIN TO THE DEEP-ences SAPI + WHAT IS READ 
I'll start where I finished. 
The smoke expands in the interior of my room. For my interior too, this is violated. I want to break up with you and others. 
I'll get? 
Strength, Strength and Power that haunts me and tells me to go without fear! 
Before you end of my days. 
The entire exterior I reject, as I 
I feel ... I do not know, but here I'm leaving my pe-quena story ... 
If you are on this page, curiosity prompted him my little story. 
What you gonna tell on these pages is for me to find 
the true self that dwells in me, no world out-prehensive education. 
How is this possible, we'll see how I will describe my story. 
To no longer advance, retreat indeed ready to go. Smoking continues to permeate this space. 
This story begins where it will end. 
What do you want to tell is to fight everything. Let's see if I can get to the end and say: 
I wanted everything and anything, as I maximize the interior. 
It's here, in short time equaled the number of cigarettes 
of pages through which you browse. 
Let's go ahead with the fight, it will have the length of time 
blows in the hours, minutes, in seconds. Finished! 
I'll start where I finished. 
I'm ready this smoke pervades the window and frees up in the air, I want to be that there is only smoke in the air. 
I just want to breathe the air. 
I float here and wonder what I'll tell. I do not want to do, eventually beginning to commit all the same 
errors. 
The battle is far from being locked. 
What you want is to convey feelings, situations and conflicts. 
And the fight is to win the being who I was. Want to be the other, the figure that haunts me. 
My own conscience that will alert me and tells me: Emerge, you win. 
Here I stopped, but in fighting the move-to chase it. 
My figure comes to my Self Free yourself, Expands thee, let me be like you through me. 
It started here what will be. What are the questions, proceed without flinching, this is a figure that haunts me. 
Makes it happens and is born again to live and feel. Demagoguery and without illusions, live what you can not see. 
Because only then you will make progress, rise up and say. 
I want to be who I am, I am I. 
Being that I was and that the figure will be. 
I'll be like I imagine. At that haunts me I tell you go along. 
Take on me and break away. Finally yet to begin. 
Everything you thought. Beware of this being that haunts you and end the cable is your friend. 
No more sorry for this moment. Reached the end of the torment, he touched me and I Murmu- 
rou: Are you there? 
Now is the end of the beginning that I will report here. 
For now I say: Just come up to me and enters me to victory. 
Major in me you become yourself. Possess me! 
Shalt be the last time my odor. Yeah, you go. 
Do not show me saddened by your departure. Actually I'm looking forward to your trip. 
Go as you came, as part arrived. Do not want you, you are more a misfortune unconscionable. Your presence is an affront. 
I know that for you, never won, only lost. 
You're like cigarette smoking friend of the disease. 
Part and will, is going to finish that will not be there. Like I said, emanates from the odor that just because your ires ... Gain another flavor and perfume. 
Maybe you do not know it, neither be thou in mind that the pro-Vocas you. 
Since I know you guys remember a few years. Enough for now here lies the desire to con-tinue with you. 
I'll moan in your presence initially thought, but 
umbrella for minor ailments. 
I create art object and our connection, but pleasure in this and fu- 
elusive for living conditions a little weak. I dare deprivation. Because only then be light and natural, at eu feeds me. 
Cool, calm, warm and smooth-ing offsets will be 
natural wind that runs like the time in a direction to its north. By breathing the air currents are against us 
storms that we face, nothing more natural than the smoke from the air itself. 
In which we find in nature as integral outer preceding the harmony of being free of chains. 
Blossoms, grows and consolidates the very root of free-ing. 
Wills not dubious of our meeting is the very pink of the times 
desert sands ranging firming reason. The go-getting off the image of vulgar man, to the eccentricity of the intimate relationship that moves us away. 
We are different, I'm natural and organic thou art man-cial 
and synthetic, and hence do not express without me. Without the act that will neutralize, you will make me happy. 
I'll open the door for you to come talk to me. But I'll leave it ajar to get out soon after. Figure you are aware of your spread, it consumes me patience 
of unrest. You are and you will be a lot of little importance. 
We all have these stupid stages, usually in children. 
But if we tell adults to unleash the child within us, so that you also had a 
slump. I will return to calm patient. 
I can go lock the door. Quite know why you came, but know where you address. 
The gulf is wide, wider thinking of you home-gar. 
Flee without me, enclose yourself and explodes. From the first day that your word has been my 
sentence, but count me when next you tell me, 
hello, I'm here, but surely your trip will be a return to harsh reality but to smooth it 
if you want to stop raiding, we have what we want? So just a word from you, which is Bye. 
And thou art going away leaving ... 
It was the last time ... Miss getting to leave. A tear fell and went off crying. 
The rope that squeeze me, is not the same as it suffocates me. The node of the neck, hanging by a thread. 
Strangle and suffocate the mind consciousness. 
What gives is of a slow death and rejuvenate 
walking and talking in this way as we have done. Will ever erase the pain of a sharp blow that cuts the laminated raucous live. 
At the top of memory and the shattering blow spooky-rich. 
It was your presence dichotomy between being and non being. Life covered in photographic moments that everything 
stores and in an instant if it turns out. Why live in me out of me. Erase your destiny and lives the part. 
This timeless feel spreading the moments following. How to fly without leaving your seat. 
A moment that never stops because never be able to stop and breathe, 
what makes you breathe. 
Living is as strong as the urge to breathe. But just breathing is not living. 
When you left to live not previously stopped breathing. 
Hence, what emerges in what is an im-age helpless. 
Without limits or consequences, the next step. This emerges from us at every moment to be another re-var us what really 
somo, this illusion of self-flagellation cliff is to live while we live, the 
that moves us is that nature that surrounds us constantly and only distracts us, 
I mean that the entire absorption of the moment is simply mind-illusory as the Nature 
reflects all the frames at random and super-rela-tively higher every moment of human movement. 
Everything that appears around the figure of the self is that enlarges exterior 
the interior, however only capture the feeling of being a distraction is greater 
that moves us to Mother Nature. If at any time, virtuous, you invade contradictory 
is assimilated at the instant of mind these entries can not match the learning and output of any momentum. 
Glad surges, vast and far-ment thinks. 
I would like to talk about ... you decide where Brasta-mano. 
Reversing the roles says shutting up. 
The flight of a word is an act. How to ignore you and take you from. 
You're flying around in the shadow of the wind. Because you hide, when appearing so what-res. 
Do not you see? 
Give thyself another, you have another friend who is not your simple misfortune. 
Everything emerges vaporising. 
It was thus that counting to ten, I realized how much time snapshot glimpse of the future if the window was open and view only the last smoke as ex-expands and as the click of the future becomes large and vast.

Sun ku

A luz da verdade

 

 

 


    Considera√ß√Ķes singelas feitas de boa disposi√ß√£o, bastante dose de independ√™ncia, profundo, interessante como podemos ver a interac√ß√£o de onde resultaram ideias muito boas passo a contar uma hist√≥ria com moral ou seja, a moral da hist√≥ria...historia essa sobre dois burros de carga que faziam uma viagem pelo antigo jap√£o, j√° pela altura dos descobrimentos, o burro cinzento ia carregado com sal, carga muito pesada; o burro preto guiava ao destino a caravana pois tinha uma carga muito leve, levava esponja vangloriando-se da sua sorte sendo o caminho muito rude o cinzento n√£o aguentava mais e estava prestes a morrer pelo esfor√ßo quando trope√ßando cai em grande po√ßa de √°gua derretendo-se a metade da carga, o burro preto observando estupefacto a incr√≠vel sorte do companheiro que l√° se vai levantando, aligeirado levando o que restava da carga. Levado pela inveja, lan√ßa-se √† agua esperan√ßado da mesma sorte.
A esponja encharcou-se de água tornando-se quase impossível ao preto sequer levantar-se, acabando logicamente por sucumbir ao cansaço e morrer.

 

Histórias do avozinho

 

 

 

 


            

 

  
O amor √© como um arco-√≠ris, nem sempre est√° presente, mas sempre aparece! A ut√≥pica teoria do caos formulada 1=1+1=2:2=1a utopia da espiral do arco-√≠ris multifactorial do amor termina na radia√ß√£o da m√°xima entidade de energia, desabrocha em sol - a terra expira, o sol inspira as mesmas cores para pintar o mundo - eu expiro, tu inspiras o mesmo ar de amar sendo que sou todas as cores para pintar o teu mundo! Tudo parte da forma como sentimos as coisas e l√° h√° coisas que se unem, outras separam-se mas a verdade n√£o esconde factos. A minha primeira recorda√ß√£o simplesmente s√≥ tenho reminisc√™ncias, em que acordo absorto num dia luminoso, e preparo-me com o poder da luz para sair das trevas e distribuirei for√ßa e energia para toda a comunidade constelar. Ponho-me a pensar se um dia fosse um raio? Se um dia fosse um raio, seria destruidor, assustador, ruidoso, implac√°vel ou seria luminoso, belo, radiante e energ√©tico. Cada raio tem como os seres humanos caracter√≠sticas diferentes, modos de ac√ß√£o diferentes, luz diferente, ou seja cada raio/ser √ļnico e exclusivo. Pois bem se um dia fosse um raio no m√≠nimo era original. Cada raio tem a forma de ac√ß√£o, tal como nas pessoas a qualquer momento surge essa ac√ß√£o em frac√ß√Ķes de momentos. Teremos n√≥s ac√ß√£o sobre o raio/ser, p√īde-se alterar a sua direc√ß√£o e destino. Em rela√ß√£o a destinos e pela primeira vez vou invocar o nome de deus, um certo dia surgiu, ter uma conversa de cren√ßas e f√© com um seguidor do alcor√£o que me contou a seguinte hist√≥ria que passo a descrever: passam-te um dado de jogo para as m√£os e pedes veemente a deus que te saia a pontua√ß√£o m√°xima e saiu-te a m√≠nima. Meus caros, a hist√≥ria resume-se mas quem afinal lan√ßou o dado? Mas tirando esta hist√≥ria quero dizer-vos que temos ac√ß√£o e temos raio/ser que age com o meio, cada um lan√ßa o dado com a sua energia / forma / comportamento. Eu sabia que ia haver um transformador e que as coisas iam ter um equil√≠brio de for√ßas reluzentes que iriam transformar a realidade. Uma energia revitalizada e que quem vive a insatisfa√ß√£o com satisfa√ß√£o ia tornar-se em todas cores para pintar o teu mundo. Acordei numa realidade diferente do habitual e explorar campos da escrita atrav√©s deste livro ia expandir o meu ser. Reflicto sobre a forma de transmiss√£o do pensamento e igualo-o a uma luz e ao seu poder. Todos n√≥s pensamos sobre v√°rias perspectivas h√° que seguir uma corrente e a alma tem momentos de perturba√ß√£o, o modo como os olhamos nem sempre √© ing√©nuo e a energia expande-se. Mentes perturbadas com m√°s condutas ficam perpetuadas e a voz em un√≠ssono soa mais alto do que muitas vozes, as palavras s√£o uma arte de express√£o, a partir deste momento haver√° inspira√ß√£o. O bater do cora√ß√£o tem o seu ritmo que se expande pelas veias. A repress√£o faz-se pela calada porque tudo tem o seu q. Todos pensamos no mal e √†s vezes fazem-nos calar, ‚Äúmas todos pensamos‚ÄĚ, as recorda√ß√Ķes nem sempre est√£o presentes e digo que n√£o pratiques o √≥dio pois √© mau. Todos n√≥s temos a liberdade de express√£o mas nem todos a temos no tempo certo, nada e mais honesto que a verdade, temos v√°rias formas de express√£o e estar bem √© ter equil√≠brio. O equil√≠brio √© um ciclo de rotinas, ser nervoso √© um desequil√≠brio. As pessoas gostam de comentar. Todos t√™m pureza o amor universal gera compaix√£o. O sol √© fonte de energia, o anormal √© n√£o acontecer nada, todos esquecem quando querem e existem sempre v√°rias perspectivas, muitas ideias, poucas convic√ß√Ķes... H√° coisas irremedi√°veis, pois todos est√£o sujeitos √† injusti√ßa. O amor √© fonte de prazer e sempre s√≥ e protegido: h√° gente que n√£o gosta de pensar mas a consci√™ncia √© uma lanterna que nos esclarece.
H√° v√≠cios que todos temos, √†s vezes temos medos, todos dizem e fazemos asneiras. N√£o escrevo para ningu√©m, todos temos algo que n√£o queremos recordar, mas √© bom saber quando estamos tristes e admiti-lo sempre e n√£o esconder nada pois todos temos vulnerabilidades, todos sentimos o prazer de algo e quando a oportunidade espreita abre-lhe a porta. Existe sempre um sentimento em rela√ß√£o ao outro, mas ‚Äúningu√©m √© de ningu√©m‚ÄĚ e por isso todos t√™m o de direito de brilhar. A amizade √© sempre um bom princ√≠pio a um amigo um outro eu. Segue o teu instinto do que v√™s de positivo. Todos podemos ser amados e amarmos o amor √© gerador de luz, quando somos amados devemos respeitar esse sentimento, amem-se e aumentem a taxa de natalidade, sempre com as palavras em jogos de encruzilhadas, sem d√ļvida uma frase antag√≥nica mas com a sua l√≥gica de evitar sofrer. ‚Äúo que os velhos t√™m n√£o √© sabedoria, mas sim prud√™ncia‚ÄĚ por isso escuta! Todos sabem o bem e o mal? Temos na nossa m√£o essa decis√£o de sermos bons ou maus, a loucura √© alguma sanidade, realmente o conhecimento √© importante!? Se poss√≠vel ser diplomado na escola da vida... Vou-me transformar por ti, por mim e por quem gosta de mim. Mudan√ßa para a evolu√ß√£o. Um cabo pelo qual passa uma corrente vibrante de ansiedade, el√©ctricos, percorrem corpos, alimentadores de esperan√ßa e de algo novo e assombroso que nos deixa est√°ticos de movimentos mas com pensamento acelerado e ansioso. Paralisado de movimento, sobe a tens√£o que nos enquadra na realidade e com movimentos controlados e medidos, descemos as escadas do pensamento onde nos ligamos uns aos outros. √Č nesta escada de pensamentos que categorizamos comportamentos, faces e movimentos enquadraram-se na descida e subida dos momentos da vida, luzes alimentam a escada rolante que sem paragem te levam √† loucura desta realidade do s√©c. XXI, energias, magias, fantasias, tudo com aparentes harmonias, mas cuidado com os degraus, nem todos v√£o pela escada rolante da vida, h√° seres que sobem degraus que se elevam e sobretudo algu√©m os move e apoia, ser√° isso suficiente ou ser√° uma quest√£o de equil√≠brio? Equil√≠brio de for√ßas √© fundamental ao equil√≠brio de movimentos, subidas e descidas ao n√≠vel de cada ser, mas nem todos merecem que des√ßamos ou que nos apoiem na subida, o esfor√ßo e a perseveran√ßa s√£o fundamentais, eleva-te ent√£o ao esp√≠rito do sacrif√≠cio, sem les√Ķes ou paragens e ela te levar√° √† luz do ser pensante. Sem equil√≠brios de for√ßas exteriores que possam ceder, os degraus s√£o s√≥lidos e alimentados por cabos de esperan√ßa chegar√°s ao cabo el√©ctrico mais importante o ciclo da vida, essa energia que alimenta a terra. O meu quadro el√©ctrico era aquele que iria comandar as posi√ß√Ķes e os destinos da corrente universal. Era uma luz solar que iria iluminar as entranhas obscuras da natureza terrestre. O que foi acontecer senti pelo amanhecer um terno entristecer que vinha com o anoitecer, vivi, revivi e renas√ßo sou ele o poderoso o sol (sun)* uma fonte radiosa em que caem como gotas no ch√£o, nessa fonte de vida e luminosidade . O meu farol, que busca incessantemente, de modo girat√≥rio o movimento da anormalidade. Come√ßo a sentir as primeiras electrocuss√Ķes e os nervos ruidosos pestanejam com electrocuss√Ķes card√≠acas. As ondas electromagn√©ticas que v√£o e voltam os pensamentos ondulares √† volta do c√≠rculo das ondas. Corrente el√©ctrica percorre-me o corpo a corrente que me leva ao circuito das ondas. O impulso el√©ctrico caiu e sou abanado por impulsos que circulam de modo el√©ctrico, sempre soube que a verdade quando descoberta por impulso brilha intensamente, surge um apag√£o e calam-se as vozes atormentadas pelo sentimento luminoso do ser, acende-se uma vela luminosa a dor acumulada da cera derretida. Portas el√©ctricas abrem suavemente tocando, mas fechando-se sem tempo para se abrir. A motosserra el√©ctrica corta com as ra√≠zes de √≥dio vibrantes obscuras. Electrocutado em fumo luminoso que apaga a mem√≥ria, turbul√™ncias electromagn√©ticas fervilham nas mentes, turbulentos electromagnetismos infinitos. Estendem-se como raios electrizantes que paralisam a mente, possuir uma luz, negro electrizante de intermit√™ncias, luzes intermitentes assolam-me a passagem da corrente ininterrupta. As luzes opacas iluminam seres mirabolantes na luz escura. Fios el√©ctricos percorrem-me o corpo vibrante cheio de energia. Subo e avan√ßo em direc√ß√£o ao 10¬ļ circuito el√©ctrico e h√° uma falha de energia¬ī, incorrupt√≠vel mesmo as escuras h√° uma queda el√©ctrica e caiu el√©ctrico sobre as palavras de extasia e de sensa√ß√Ķes. Corte luminosos cortantes e luminosos ecos, resplandecentes de luz agarram a voz que quebra, a obscuridade relampejante onde relampeja obscuros os seres andantes com orienta√ß√£o ocular. Existe uma fluoresc√™ncia e florescem e caem que nem trov√Ķes em todas as direc√ß√Ķes e sentidos. A ‚Äúofuscul√™ncia‚ÄĚ e esses rel√Ęmpagos lancinantes ofuscam o prazer alheio de sensa√ß√Ķes e de olhares. Incandesc√™ncias e cruzam-se arcos profundos em tua alma que se seguram aos √°tomos, choques din√Ęmicos e incandescentes. Como um laivo que me martela a incongru√™ncia dos sentimentos que apelam a uma luz forte e determinada, na minha aus√™ncia crepuscular em que me enrolo suavemente, nas luzes agudas do meu ser, e suavemente me deleito como um raio. H√° uma luz amea√ßadora, amea√ßam essas luzes convalescentes que nos atormentam e deixam antever o perigo? Existe uma luz de presen√ßa, essa luz que te acompanha em momentos buc√≥licos e incapaz de a confrontar te intimidas em secretismo. Existe uma luz vermelha intensa e bloqueadora de nervos aceleradores. Choques zarpares e contaminadores de mentes sem impulsos alastram-se, luz de companhia, iluminado o que n√£o se d√° e nem sente a luz de companhia. Trov√Ķes rangem e estilha√ßam ru√≠dos sedentos de prazer. Luzes poderosas condenam vidas alheias √† instru√ß√£o por vozes. Como raios poderosos e lacerantes que cortam la√ßos imposs√≠veis de atar a luz fosca em que ofuscaram a consci√™ncia em que penetram volumosos feixes. Intensamente se iluminam as brumas da luz negra na c√≥smica luminosa, um cosmos penetrante e profundo que alivia os esquecimentos da alma. O rel√Ęmpago aquece e escurece e torna-se im√≥vel e silencioso, mas range e o ru√≠do quando acontece √© ofegante e avassalador que contagia a raiva de viver e estar presente entre outras luzes e ilumina√ß√Ķes ou at√© mesmo simples escurid√£o passageira mas marcante de suspiros e que rompe os sil√™ncios mais electrizantes. Esse rel√Ęmpago que te apaga a consci√™ncia marcada pela emiss√£o de gemidos eloquentes e que precipitam a ac√ß√£o negligenciada de sentido de oportunidade de estar im√≥vel no momento em que ca√≠ outro rel√Ęmpago neste mundo. Recordo-me pela foto tirada com o meu irm√£o (hoje pendurada no meu quarto) e estou no local onde comi as h√≥stias infernais que mais √† frente me refiro. Depois as cinzas de luz, essas cinzas que te marcam de calor a ferros bravios e fortes s√≥ de uma golpeada est√£o contaminados pelas cinzas de luz do passado e do futuro omnipresente que n√£o esqueces. Corta-te o impulso do momento e propaga-se lentamente dilacerante e efusivamente dizendo-te controla-te, e te arremessa para dentro de um po√ßo de luz que se afoga na mem√≥ria das palavras incontinentes e que derrama a sua sede de luz. Em polvorosa est√£o as cinzas ardentes de um corpo magn√©tico que assobia e pestaneja no teu cora√ß√£o ardente de desejo de algo, viril e m√°sculo ou ent√£o feminino e sensual, essa afronta de dupla personalidade que n√£o cede nem para um lado nem para o outro. Essas cinzas de luz aquecem o sombrio e o fr√≠volo e t√™m em seu calor a protec√ß√£o das chuvas devoradas e, que se alastram pelos continentes e espa√ßo intemporal invade-nos e presenteia-nos de luxuosos discernimentos e d√°-nos in√ļmeros e deprimentes prazeres. A ansiedade da qu√≠mica do prazer sedent√°rio, mas n√£o encrostado, mas sim impresso nas faces ing√©nuas. Alheio √† emo√ß√£o do sentir e do ser, sente-se mirabolante e resplandecente e alivia as contrac√ß√Ķes sentidas pelos excessos, excessos esses que nos redireccionam para outra dimens√£o, desenvolve-se, alimenta-se de v√≠cio n√£o recua n√£o oscila ou embate em cabelos loucos da nega√ß√£o. A luz hipn√≥tica e apalpadelas sentidas na face vivenciam sentimentos que deixam antever a ced√™ncia ao desejo, leva-nos a dinamizar e a acreditar que existe, por ela somos levados sem cr√©dito sem d√©bitos, estagnado como a vida hipn√≥tica de seres transcendentes que se enredam em fontes secas, deliram sobrancelhas carregadas de despudor e √≥cio. Que nos levam a novos desafios iguais em pensamento diferentes em reac√ß√£o, reac√ß√Ķes essas desmedidas por vezes onde enfrentamos com o puro desejo de ter, poder, ser alimentado por ela e n√£o conduzido como pe√ßas soltas de barro que se juntam quando aquecidas.
A minha segunda recorda√ß√£o √© precisamente uma foto vestido com um macac√£o onde estou com a mesma roupa da primeira foto que est√° hoje no meu quarto, estou em A√ßoreira em cima de um autom√≥vel lembro-me de cair nas escadas da minha av√≥ onde havia umas fitas usadas na entrada para as moscas. Lembro-me em chamar √† terra da minha av√≥ a terra das moscas havia muita agita√ß√£o os burros ou cavalos sempre a passar. O meu pai, dono de um carro azul onde nasceu a minha segunda recorda√ß√£o, era um datsun. O meu ‚Äúvelho‚ÄĚ costumava contar uma hist√≥ria, hist√≥ria segundo ele, entre a minha av√≥ e um burro que n√£o lhe obedeceu, a velhota mordeu-lhe a orelha. Hoje a contar pela hist√≥ria que vai ler n√£o lhe caiu nenhum dente. Vi os seios da minha av√≥ uma √ļnica vez e foi no espelho estava debaixo da cama dos meus pais era melhor brincadeira que tinha de inf√Ęncia ate ao pior dos pesadelos, pesadelo costumava eu ter um terr√≠vel descia de uma corrente e entrava num caldeir√£o, acho que isso pode ser do pior que se pode sonhar em crian√ßa que e a morte no fim a morte e s√≥ como antes de morrer ou imortal essa luz que se divide entre corpos alienados de movimento e oscila entre dois caminhos f√°ceis de iluminar, mas sem qualquer vida, subsiste na amargura e no desalento da hipnose sist√©mica que nos alimenta e desenvolve. Conscientemente √© t√£o intensa que se extingue e existe mesmo apagada. Psicad√©licos la√ßos entrecruzam-se no ru√≠do dos bravos trov√Ķes que suportam e potenciam a anormalidade que prov√©m do facto de sermos abrangidos por toda esta trovoada psicad√©lica. Pois bem aqui tudo permanece coerente, sem pot√™ncias ou escalas, a ced√™ncia s√≥ seria um pretexto para a anormalidade, do trov√£o negro, enjaulado e que emite os grunhidos mais estranhos e profundos da absorv√™ncia da raz√£o porque ele se apaga, range e desloca-se sem o m√≠nimo de secretismos, aparentemente num mundo de luzes psicad√©licas que afligem quem nele se quiser despistar ou desfrutar de prazeres escalonados preconceituosos tingidos pelas cores obl√≠quas estagnadas, sem vontade de cria√ß√£o ou de mera indulg√™ncia. Imbu√≠do no esp√≠rito dos fragmentos do pensamento, de facto fragmentados est√£o todos aqueles que imaginam outro mundo, distante de perturba√ß√Ķes, que nos irritam como quando co√ßamos o olho, ou simplesmente pestanejamos. Esse movimento alienado de outro movimento incandesce e pulveriza as mentes distantes e alheado ao simples facto do que √© ser movimentado ou agitado. O trov√£o √© psicad√©lico e afugenta esp√≠ritos, sem que eles se manifestem e porque n√£o existem, √© uma realidade paralela de rumores e intransig√™ncias como o bicho pap√£o, e aqui ningu√©m se alimenta de personalidades bizarras e cognomes da preexist√™ncia ainda que n√£o exista de facto. Da√≠ que tudo o que √© irreal tem hist√≥ria intemporal, mas tem, qualquer coisa, tem medo, medo que nos deporta num horizonte a 5 dimens√Ķes, pol√≠gonas e lineares, mas n√£o suscept√≠veis ou sequer pass√≠veis de qualquer tra√ßo, tra√ßo esse que representa os hemisf√©rios do pensamento transcendente e apote√≥tico. N√£o floresce nem cresce nos filamentos da raz√£o abstracta ideias, nascem sim impulsos de personagens j√° vistas, decoradas, movimentos de imita√ß√£o e adequa√ß√£o ao instante, mas tudo consciencializado e minimamente calculado. Sem c√°lculos √© real e imprevis√≠vel da√≠ que seja de uma genu√≠na espontaneidade que √© absurdo pensar em qualquer coisa. Rangem e moem as cabe√ßas de outrora e j√° desvanecestes em folhas amarelas e comidas pelos bibli√≥fagos, que sem qualquer perseveran√ßa intimidam os obsoletos da mem√≥ria e do feito e contrafeito √° sua medida. Rodeados de aparelhos de medida, congratulam-se os rotulantes abexins e riem-se os trov√Ķes da abiss√≠nia. Exortam-se aqueles que vivem √† luz do passado, esses moribundos do al√©m invadem corpos celestes no proeminente facto de acontecer, do imediato. Mas tudo s√£o quest√Ķes t√©cnicas, mais intensas ou menos, mas s√£o radia√ß√Ķes energ√©ticas que n√£o s√£o compat√≠veis com o passado, nem mesmo do momento anterior. Mem√≥rias que emitem portanto radia√ß√Ķes nefastas que por√©m n√£o ofuscam qualquer pensamento que se queira acender a qualquer instante, impulso ou momento. Pois o passado cruza-se com o presente, o instante, o impulso, segundo ou frac√ß√£o, mas n√£o o influencia estamos portanto sempre a tempo da luz poderosa √© pura corrente de √™xtase que corta como vento na cara, algo at√© a√≠ despojado de inten√ß√Ķes e movimento em torno do prazer de fazer ou de ser , pois o que existe e conta o no nosso ser √© o click ,que atrav√©s do simples olhar transmite √† luz do seu passado, luz mais ou menos intensa, suores de vidas passadas, mas que n√£o norteiam o princ√≠pio desencadeado do movimento de impulsos remanescentes, sem m√°scara, vivido ao segundo, no instante n√£o como os que simplesmente rastejam em torno de luzes do passado e que se agarram a nada. Pois bem isso √© sinonimo de contamina√ß√£o, radia√ß√£o n√£o, obrigada! Da√≠ que nada mais forte do que acender no momento, e estar em todos os momentos com toda a for√ßa, mas ningu√©m √© melhor que ningu√©m, √© mesmo uma quest√£o de luta, e n√£o me venham com essas de luzes inatas pois cada um tem, sedenta de vontade e imagina√ß√£o e pura energia de desenvolvimento e cria√ß√£o, cores m√°gicas reflectidas em tons de amarelo de sol. De facto n√£o h√° muita luz, restam apenas focos de exist√™ncia remanescente e equilibrada forma de objectivar, o que n√£o se pode ver. Portanto n√£o existe, n√£o √© real, √© fruto de algo que nos ajuda a consciencializar. Mas raios o que √© a consci√™ncia? O que √© realmente consciente ou inconsciente? Eis uma barreira que n√£o se materializa por muito sentido que fa√ßa e que se entenda, todos nos dirigimos para o instante. Essa de se porem barreiras preconcebidas e dizerem-se correntes intranspon√≠veis, quando no facto n√£o h√° barreiras no real!? Tudo portanto √© imagin√°rio todos vivemos nessa mesma corrente de ilus√Ķes, de sede de outros esp√≠ritos que n√£o nos afecta na verdade pois existe, ou de fato n√£o existe qualquer barreira entre o desejo do inconsciente sempre presente no consciente e que reserva-mos s√≥ para n√≥s, s√≥ o vazio, existem sim imagin√°rios de criaturas celestes que vivem conforme se diz √† luz do passado, por maioria essa que deliberou que se tinha de ter peso ou medida, mas mais uma vez quem s√£o eles para interferir. Observa-se e fica-se a olhar o dia at√© ele se esbater nada mais natural que essa luz l√≠mpida que nela com prazer nos conformamos. Conformidades, adversidades, conflitos, meras indulg√™ncias que servem de acumulador de atitudes e problem√°ticas conscientes mas n√£o t√£o profundas assim pois s√£o naturais. Entre natural e o transcendente n√£o h√° o m√≠nimo choque da√≠ que o normal envolve-nos e faz-nos sentir √° vontade e tranquilos, tudo √© natural: ar, alegria que nos envolve, esse que bate e foge e sobretudo toca, toque gentil para quem aprecia baforadas de leveza. Energia gerida no n√ļcleo, fonte potente irradia-nos transformando-nos, muta√ß√Ķes psicol√≥gicas, consideremo-nos ent√£o atingidos por essa pot√™ncia nuclear.

Essa luz vibrante cresce no ser expectante que na realidade n√£o sofre mas como que um pav√£o infiltra-se nos impulsos apreendidos e que nos levam ao acto de agir ou n√£o agir, impulso, essa din√Ęmica e l√≠mpida explos√£o. Da√≠ que tiremos partido do expoente m√°ximo na sua for√ßa, ser√£o agentes vulgares que corrigem, desmoronam pilares imposs√≠veis de desequilibrar pois √© a for√ßa da transforma√ß√£o. E nada mais forte do que ser transformado, essa mudan√ßa em algo que nos eleva e nos protege da contamina√ß√£o. Lembro-me de chorar e n√£o querer ir √† pr√©-escola no primeiro dia mas principalmente depois gostei das amizades, de brincar com os meus amigos. Era normal em mi√ļdo adoecer febres altas provoca aquele pesadelo do costume, o tal em que era agarrado a umas correntes e a descia para um caldeir√£o ardente mas com o del√≠rio pensava que ia ao inferno mas de repente acordava e estava salvo na contagem final que decorria. Sei uma vez que tamb√©m aprendi a diferenciar o quente do frio, obedecendo ao meu irm√£o que colocasse uma m√£o no aquecedor segundo ele na parte mais fria e ele na parte mais quente, resultado: acabei queimado num pulso direito que me faz lembrar o 666 ou a marca da besta por curiosidade o meu √ļltimo telefone acabava em 666. - algo nos far√° parar se n√£o quisermos continuar, mas porqu√™ parar se √© ac√ß√£o que se desenrola e gera emo√ß√Ķes, sensa√ß√Ķes e est√≠mulos, quando algu√©m nos responde e reage, ac√ß√£o meus amigos, paci√™ncia e intelig√™ncia para compreender o outro ser confrontador. Porqu√™ deixar energias negativas paralisar-nos, como se fossemos crian√ßas sem resposta, coragem meus caros, a palavra √© a ordem que h√°-de ser julgada e quem ser√° o juiz da raz√£o, quem ser√° o normal ou anormal, ningu√©m! Todos temos f√© e eu tenho fezada dai que subsista a d√ļvida do querer e do desejo omnisciente e presente, mas como uma harpa que alude e ilude transmite sons de sereia com ecos alucinat√≥rios. Nada mais do que relaxar ouvir falar ouvirmos o dobro do que falamos e o sil√™ncio √© ac√ß√£o e n√£o ingenuidade ou descontrolo, poucos resistem ao sil√™ncio e h√°-de experimentar-se. Pode at√© mesmo ser atormentador mas responder√° a muitas quest√Ķes subjectivas e objectivas, o soci√°vel sil√™ncio √© mudo mas pode funcionar como arma perfeita aos incontrol√°veis, desejosos de impulsividade e sequiosos, esses que n√£o se conseguem controlar. Acalma-te e ouve, escuta o sil√™ncio que h√° em ti.
               Certa vez apanhei um p√°ssaro amarrei-lhe um fio a uma t√°bua de passar ferro ia dando-lhe p√£o, agua... E morreu nesse dia o meu brinquedo vivo. A minha primeira brincadeira ao jogo da apanha resultava mal ao ter o meu irm√£o atr√°s de mim fazendo com que me precipitasse para aquela ‚Äúesquina‚ÄĚ onde rachei a cabe√ßa, at√© o tecido esbranqui√ßado se ficou a ver. Eu andava cerca de 4 km para subir ao monte e fumar os kentucky a 12.50$ nessas reuni√Ķes um amigo meu comia l√Ęmpadas, copos, o que aparecia, o circo tinha passado h√° pouco tempo na vila. O meu primeiro exerc√≠cio de exibicionismo cicl√≠stico foi mais o meu irm√£o, os dois, falhei a passar uns tijolos e acabei levado por ele pr√≥ hospital. Quase na mesma altura levei uma ferradela de uma cadela prenha e depois o roubo de berlindes que me fizeram envolvi o meu irm√£o vingando-me do ladr√£ozito que mais tarde viria a ser meu amigo e que tinha o irm√£o mais louco da terra. Este amigo n√£o foi convidado para os meus anos por√©m fez quest√£o de me oferecer o meu primeiro lego e √ļnico na vida. Dias antes da 1¬™ comunh√£o fui com um amigo ao local do centro social e roubar o pecado h√≥stias. Foi s√≥ o come√ßo. Depois comecei a jogar √°s escondidas e foi assim que ocultei da minha m√£e o melhor amigo deixando-o sozinho na casa sabendo depois que ele ficou aterrorizado, e chamando por n√≥s l√° abri-mos a porta. Com os amigos brinc√°vamos com bicicletas, carros, berlindes, e gost√°vamos de aventuras... Acabou por acontecer um dia irmos cantar as janeiras no dia de reis e recebendo algum dinheiro gastando-o logo de seguida lembro-me que ofereciam chouri√ßas e outros fumados, and√°vamos na 3¬™ classe e entretanto o professor foi substitu√≠do, o recreio da escola estava em obras com montes de areia e buracos, mas aventurei-me, quando cheguei √† sala e pela primeira vez ia por tal atrevimento ‚Äúlevar uma reguada‚ÄĚ ousei e tirei a m√£o antes do professor me acertar, √† segunda em frente aos alunos perdoou e fingiu. J√° no 4¬ļ ano vendia aos meus colegas capas de colec√ß√Ķes do pai, como esses suplementos que saem hoje em dia nos jornais. Lembro-me do primeiro bruxo onde a a minha m√£e me levou, ao meu pai e ao meu e irm√£o, vi o bruxo a tocares-lhes nos √≥rg√£os genitais a mim ele n√£o ousou e lancei-lhe o √≥dio foi o primeiro facto de nojo na vida. Estou um natal mais o meu primo e meu irm√£o e ele recebe do primeiro um lp dos pink floyd - the wall, prima√ßo porreiro. Recordar a 1¬™ comunh√£o a maio de 1986 na igreja de freixo de espada √† cinta, foi uma caminhada intensa j√° com os sapatos apertados. Chegou a hora de partir para o concelho de Estarreja, para tr√°s deixava amigos e conhecidos, cheguei a ocultar a minha partida a todos com o benef√≠cio de sair um pouco antes do ano lectivo do 4¬ļ ano sendo compensado com uma carta posterior do professor que se mostrou admirado com o meu sil√™ncio. Quando cheguei ao concelho de Estarreja fui viver para Pardilh√≥, onde estive uns meses, come√ßara aqui o meu dia-a-dia, sei que na altura o que hoje chamam de bulling eu era a v√≠tima e temia, temia mesmo quando viajava de casa para a escola de autocarro, havia um que tinha o gosto em ‚Äúmolhar a sopa‚ÄĚ! O 1¬ļ emprego de que me recordo foi lavar o carro ao meu pai e passar factura j√° √† m√°quina de escrever e ele pagava-me. Ingressei no 5¬ļ ano com uma autoriza√ß√£o especial ou seja, um termo de responsabilidade assinado pelo meu encarregado de educa√ß√£o para ingressar no 5¬ļ ano na escola c+s Avanca pois ainda n√£o possu√≠a a idade m√≠nima. Chegava a enrolar s√≥ papel higi√©nico e fumava- chegava a desejar que todo o mundo parasse no tempo para eu usufruir de um roubo a um banco, etc... Por√©m nesse ano recebo o meu primeiro diploma em que menciona que aluno participou no corta mato escolar 1988/89 ficando em 15¬ļlugar, nada mal para quem ainda n√£o √© crescido, tamb√©m j√° me sentia crescido para saltar a rede e ir comprar cigarros. Andava sem trav√Ķes de bicicleta e gastava a sola das sapatilhas no do meu inicio de fumar a serio fiquei a dever um sg gigante a vizinha a melhor taberna de Estarreja logo cedo preferia o buffet e n√£o comia na cantina. Lembro-me do 1¬ļ rito f√ļnebre a que assisti foi o do meu periquito coitado a este tinham sido cortadas as asas... Andava a brincar no quintal e subi a uma nespereira quando saltei para o ch√£o, esmaguei o periquito! Aqui come√ßam as minhas sequelas; adormeci mesmo a chorar por ter perdido aquele animal, acabei por juntar uns mosaicos e l√° lhe fiz o enterro. Tudo muito bem n√£o fosse um gato no dia seguinte ir busca-lo! Resultado desta hist√≥ria acaba com um c√£o que tinha pedido de prenda de natal mas foi encontrado como vadio √† porta de minha casa, acolhemos esse ‚Äúteko‚ÄĚ e acaba a ser instru√≠do para atacar o gato visado, acabou o meu teko por matar o gato. Cheguei a bater com uma pedra em cima de um isqueiro por curiosidade e ele rebentou.
               Nos meus primeiros dias de trabalho, divertia-me na pastelaria onde trabalhava, que bronca... Chegava a levar o jornal para a casa de banho para ler e fumava um ou dois cigarros porem na altura para n√£o ser apanhado pelo meu irm√£o e minha cunhada cheguei com o medo a atirar o ma√ßo pela janela no carro.               Tive uma experi√™ncia com sombra lobo: estava perdido mas encontrado. Protegido, mas s√≥ por op√ß√£o. Alimenta a sua destreza de s√≥lidos qu√≠micos e a imprescind√≠vel √°gua. Na pureza da pr√≥pria ‚Äúshadow‚ÄĚ mergulha por aventuras e tinha um pouso, caricuao. Tal como lobo estava protegido, mas por atitude s√≥, mergulhado na solid√£o aparente. Hoje escrevo como lobo caricuao, enfrento o seu mundo e interpreto-o. Amigo independente n√£o vive sem a sua natureza selvagem, mas caridosa de um verdadeiro novato da vida, embri√£o no caricuao onde que me formei tem sangue de jovem leal, honesto sobretudo uma natureza destemida, feroz na sua ess√™ncia mas leal e amigo e respeitador do seu companheiro e amigo. Portanto fiel companheiro de viagem e de cumplicidades sempre interpretadas com carinho e sil√™ncio. Convivi um pouco suficiente para conhecer as sombras do caricuao ‚Äústreets‚ÄĚ e companhia. Mas vi coragem no lobo e ele estabeleceu elo de amigo confidente mudo e estatut√°rio quanto √† sua liberdade. Se h√° coisa que o lobo tinha era liberdade, estava, s√≥, s√≥! E livre! Sombra lobo energia reluzente extra-humana na sua forma de ser. Com seus latidos imposta na sua independ√™ncia selvagem da natureza de genes. Decidi partilhar o respectivo bacalhau espiritual, isoladamente a consoada com lobo, ou melhor sombra lobo caricuao que ao mesmo tempo ligado por um s√≥ prato livres em un√≠ssono fraternalmente compartilhando tamb√©m a respectiva bebida. Estamos s√≥s por op√ß√£o? Claro! Somos livres de pensar como nos molda a natureza. Era uma prenda para mim este natal, o wolf caricuao, mas ele selvagem por ambiente gen√©tico inato √© puxado por seus cromossomas para a sensa√ß√£o de estado de pureza livre da sua pr√≥pria natureza. Enigm√°tico quanto ao modo de vida mas alimentado por sede de viver e curtir o seu lado solit√°rio mas livre de qualquer restri√ß√£o ou imposi√ß√£o. Eu e sombra lobo somos friends, incaracter√≠stico √© na sua forma de actuar de forma n√£o convencional na coac√ß√£o de outros, somos livres pelas m√£os da m√£e natureza e assim crescemos e induzimos aquilo que nos infiltram. Havana club est√° na ess√™ncia da loucura da mesma sede de revolu√ß√£o, tomarmos conta do nosso ser, eis um pacto livre mas solit√°rio com colabora√ß√£o de instinto animal.
               Quando era mais novo chamava surucucu √† minha av√≥, um dia jogar √† bola o teko que eu tinha saltou, o que lhe pareceu como 30 cm pois ele era baixo e caiu de 2 metros de altura, fui a correr chamar os meus pais quando l√° cheguei o pequeno pequenois tinha sobrevivido nesse natal estavam os meus av√≥s em casa, cheguei a ter uma discuss√£o com os meus pais e disse mesmo √† minha avo antes ela morresse que o c√£o. Chego onde estou √† vila, hoje cidade de estarreja e come√ßo a frequentar o 6¬ļ ano na escola donaciano, aqui conheci a minha grande paix√£o de adolescente que me viria a marcar ao longo da minha juventude. Cheguei a estar mais de 10 min especado a olhar para a amante do meu pai e pensava, pensava que se no m√≠nimo ela fizesse um ru√≠do ia ter alguns problemas.
               Sempre gostei do meu irm√£o mas ele uma vez agrediu-me com um murro e feriu a identidade do meu pai quando fugi em pijama pela rua de Pardilh√≥, concelho de Estarreja e acabei nas traseiras da casa perto das silvas. Ate tive de p√īr maquilhagem na sa√≠da habitual de domingo devido √†s marcas no rosto. Andava sem trav√Ķes e gastava as sapatilhas para travar, vendi a bicicleta na qual andava sem pneus s√≥ com o aro oferta do meu av√ī e vendi-a ao peso onde fiz 300$ por ela. Nesta escola acabo com duas negativas, uma a matem√°tica outra a trabalhos manuais, nunca me tinha apercebido que era t√£o mau nos trabalhos manuais. Naturalmente envolvido pela sociedade e seus costumes come√ßo em 1989 a jogar futebol at√© terminar esta carreira em 1998 como atleta do clube desportivo de Estarreja, como praticante de futebol comecei como ponta-de-lan√ßa chegando a marcar um golo dos 3 na minha longa carreira, mas foi num jogo de treino contra o ovarense. Depois √† medida que ia crescendo ia recuando na posi√ß√£o de avan√ßado centro, desloquei-me para extremo-esquerdo, depois para m√©dio direito, em seguida m√©dio centro at√© chegar √† defesa nas posi√ß√Ķes de central e libero. Era conhecido no final da minha carreira como um atleta de um anti fair-play not√≥rio, ainda de registar o 2¬ļ golo marcado no dia em que pe√ßo ao treinador para ser o capit√£o de equipa e jogar a m√©dio centro, nesse jogo marquei um golo, fiz a diferen√ßa e percorri a dist√Ęncia do meio campo at√© √† baliza advers√°ria fazendo uma ‚Äúcuequinha‚ÄĚ ao guarda- redes. Pensava em levar alfinetes para os jogos de futebol com o intuito de ganhar as jogadas no campo. 
               Em 1990/91 frequentei o 7¬ļano na escola secund√°ria de Estarreja, fui mal integrado nesta escola por ser rebelde e passava a hist√≥ria que um dia me masturbava na sala de aula, sendo apelidado pela professora de hist√≥ria como portador do m√≠ssil patriota - isto na altura da guerra do Iraque, fatalmente reprovo de ano 4 negativas. A que mais me custou foi no portugu√™s, pois foi a primeira e √ļnica no meu percurso escolar. Decidi retornar √† escola de Avanca onde tinha feito o 5¬ļ ano. Decorrido o ano lectivo de 1991/92 7¬ļ ano escola c+s Avanca come√ßo a ser apelidado de ‚Äúsida‚ÄĚ entre os colegas, chegando a ter fama de mal comportado, no entanto os sucessos escolares iam-me permitindo passar de ano, j√° na altura quando confrontado do porqu√™ de ter vindo de Estarreja para Avanca dizia ter sido expulso da escola de Estarreja. Furava as disquetes de baixa densidade para dobrar a capacidade das mesmas fazia-o com um berbequim manual, chegava a ir as aulas de Estarreja at√© Avanca na ‚Äúbicicleta‚ÄĚ, propositadamente ir depois ate ovar, roubar chicletes e rebu√ßados ao hipermercado. O melhor jogo que fiz em toda minha carreira foi depois de uma directa e foi contra o beira-mar a carrinha do clube ate me veio buscar a casa. Pus uma mosca numa sandes de manteiga a um amigo chamado ‚Äúminete‚ÄĚ, dos primeiros filmes porno que vi espantei-me, uma mulher tinha pila e mamas ao mesmo tempo coisa que fazia pensar, outro era de cobras e enguias, cenas do meu pai... Entre as viagens de Estarreja e Avanca tinha o passe da cp para as efectuar mas como o v√≠cio do tabaco se come√ßava a agravar, em vez de comprar o passe... J√° andava numa fase somente √† boleia para ter trocos para tabaco e ia √† padaria comer meia regueifa beber uma litrada de cerveja a meias com os colegas. Em casa do meu avo disparei de uma arma de press√£o e o chumbo fez ricochete e quase me atingiu ouvi bem o zumbir do proj√©ctil. Certa vez fui a uma festa de anos, j√° com a mania das drogas queimei uma chiclete e ficou preta fazendo depois crer na pr√≥pria festa que era haxixe. Antes de ir treinar chamava os meus amigos a casa e roubava garrafas de champanhe a meu pai e beb√≠amos antes dos treinos chegando varias vezes a ser expulsos. Um dia um desses amigos apanhou tamanha bebedeira que teve de ser hospitalizado. Chegou o pai dele a telefonar ao meu fazendo queixa. No seio do clube de futebol tivemos um treino especial, isto era, nosso advers√°rio a equipa da selec√ß√£o de Aveiro na busca de novos talentos. Realizei um treino formid√°vel e foi quando me puseram a treinar na selec√ß√£o aveirense e consegui mesmo uma coloca√ß√£o. Associa√ß√£o de futebol de Aveiro √©poca 91/92 jogava como avan√ßado, descaindo para o lado esquerdo, era suplente de um jogador que mais tarde foi para o f.c. Porto. Em 11- 07-1992 a selec√ß√£o sub-13 iria ter um encontro em que se enfrentavam a selec√ß√£o de Aveiro com a selec√ß√£o de leiria encerrando a √©poca 91-92, foi aqui neste jogo que tive a minha oportunidade e entrei na segunda parte como relatado pelo di√°rio de Aveiro, ter√ßa-feira, 14 de Julho de 1992 ‚Äď Aveiro, 2 ‚Äď leiria, 1 ‚Äújogo no campo do complexo desportivo de s. Jacinto. ‚ÄúNo regresso dos balne√°rios, a selec√ß√£o aveirense entrou em campo com outra determina√ß√£o. Ao contr√°rio da primeira parte em que os leirienses dominaram, Aveiro passou a tomar conta do jogo e explorando melhor a defesa do advers√°rio, deram um ‚Äúvolte-face‚ÄĚ ao resultado. Chegou ao golo do empate, por interm√©dio de filipe moura que rematou em arco para o fundo da baliza‚ÄĚ. Eu nem sabia o que estava a fazer naquele jogo, lembro-me de ter corrido muito at√© ao ponto de n√£o conseguir apanhar as bolas, ou era muito lento ou era muito r√°pido, mas no final l√° marquei o que seria o 3¬ļ golo da minha carreira de futebolista, nesse ano n√£o houve torneio entre selec√ß√Ķes por motivos financeiros, ser√° que poderia ter evolu√≠do mais? Nunca se sabe. Chega o ano lectivo de 1992/93 onde frequentei o 8¬ļ ano na escola c+s Avanca e j√° fumava todos os intervalos, j√° era um rebelde com comportamentos desviantes. Dizia a um amigo que andava no col√©gio militar, cheguei a entrar dentro de uma aula de apoio de franc√™s com uma tampa de sanita na cabe√ßa dizendo que era o senhor sanita, n√£o tinha coragem de enfrentar os olhos de meu pai at√© ao primeiro internamento, mastigava ervas antes de entrar em casa depois dos treinos de futebol primeira e √ļltima vez que levei porrada, joguei nos iniciados num treino, ‚Äúlevei uma‚ÄĚ e agredi-o e disse-lhe para esperar por mim l√° fora que ainda levava mais, e ele esperou... At√© a minha cabe√ßa foi contra o alcatr√£o ele tinha a alcunha de o "Pardilh√≥". Tenho a primeira discoteca no meu s√≥t√£o dando- lhe o nome ku*. Subia por uma clarab√≥ia ao cimo do pr√©dio e chegava a ter cobertores no telhado entre outras coisas, com os meus amigos fumava l√£ v√°rias vezes, com o nuno um amigo meu cheguei-me a beira do limites perto de uma chamin√©, saiu um mocho que me ia desequilibrando e levando-me quase a cair do telhado. O raio azul enfurecido o raio azul invade-me o ser resplandecente de energia que a brota nos poros sujos de preconceitos e intoler√Ęncias a que este raio azul vai atingir. A luz produzida por todos os seres enrola-se em artif√≠cios sem pudor dif√≠ceis de n√£o estarem rebuscados de artificialidades in√≥cuas. Esta luz laser √© penetrante e de modo invis√≠vel penetra at√© o n√£o vis√≠vel e impercept√≠vel. √Č uma luz vidente e mestra nas suposi√ß√Ķes e encruzilhadas alheias ao pr√≥prio vidente. Impercept√≠vel e in√≥cua provoca atrav√©s de seu feixe uma suc√ß√£o de pensamentos e ideias preconcebidas venenosas ao seu pr√≥prio veneno e seu ant√≠doto. Luz de s√≥t√£o, esse fumo que trespassa a luz da mente encoberta de trapos de mem√≥rias desfeitas em cabe√ßas sem direc√ß√£o e ac√ß√£o, ac√ß√£o, essa motora que arrefece o escal√£o do pensamento fren√©tico de lentid√£o e massificadora mente descoordenada. Penetrante no √≥cio do momento entusiasma- se e distribui-se pelas luzes cerebrais e excitantes em est√≠mulos el√©ctricos deambulante. Intensifica-se na massa corporal hipnotizadora e paralisante, como um desencadeio de rimas nas palavras sem nexo. Essas luzes de s√≥t√£o entram em qualquer cabe√ßa engenharia de ponta. ‚Äúh√° quem tenha macaquinhos, outros s√≥ s√≥t√£os ! ‚ÄĚ, Outras luzes que ofuscam a entrada principal, quem me dera penetrar nos s√≥t√£os com recorda√ß√Ķes, pensamentos, enfim vidas vividas sem grandes causas mas com muitas recorda√ß√Ķes. Recorda√ß√Ķes que ficam a iluminar a mente para sempre abertas ou fechadas em ba√ļs... Ia buscar cassetes de vhs e n√£o tendo dinheiro para pagar, o aluguer alastrava-se no tempo e a divida a aumentar raramente dormia a pensar no que devia. Cheguei a ter as cassetes meses a acumular. No ano de 1993 comecei a querer ter o meu dinheiro e resolvi ap√≥s convite ir trabalhar para um sal√£o de jogos. Na altura tinha 15 anos de idade e tinha j√° muita autoridade visto que mantinha a ordem do espa√ßo e proibia os menores de 16 de entrar. Veio o primeiro contacto com o haxixe e que se veio a revelar o posterior consumo ao longo de 17 anos seguintes. Neste ambiente tomei contacto com outras realidades mas neguei e sempre me recusei o consumo de hero√≠na e coca√≠na, fazendo saber que se o fiz ao longo da minha vida n√£o foi com o intuito ou propositadamente ou seja posso ter sido ‚Äúminado‚ÄĚ mas nunca as consumi. Tinha atitudes impr√≥prias para consumo e j√° era um afamado ‚Äúartista‚ÄĚ sendo o apresentador da festa de final do ano lectivo dos finalistas do 9¬ļano em1993/1994. 
Gerador, amor gerador ou gerador do amor o que alimenta esse desejo carnal n√£o virtual, e esse enlace emotivo de beijo transparente e sedento de algo vital para o desenvolvimento de energias de la√ßos emotivos e el√©ctricos. Esse gerador alimenta egos e personalidades com ocultas faces na representa√ß√£o di√°ria como na toma do caf√© da manh√£, ou do jantar, ou da √°gua que alimenta a energia do dia-a-dia. Sem m√°scaras ou pensamentos dilacerantes, enquadramo-nos na realidade a energia do amor ou no amor da energia electrizante e cortante de olhares penetrantes e representativos do amar e da solid√£o que se vive alimentada por um cabo que nunca se desliga, uma energia incorrupt√≠vel, mas verdadeira, sempre! Sempre electrizante olhar sedento de desejo e de alguma paci√™ncia inventada pela monotonia dos dias e das faces obl√≠quas que nada representam nesse meio el√©ctrico, s√£o fios soltos. Aventura-te √† imagina√ß√£o do motor inato e desbravado de realidades mas com sufoco do contacto instant√Ęneo. Contacto imprescind√≠vel √† vida motora, motor, esse da realidade do consenso do estar e de n√£o estar presente, mas sim alheado de outras realidades quase impercept√≠veis ao desejo do consciente, mas ele est√° l√°! Est√° l√° presente sempre no sentido de oportunidade do imediato, portanto os meios n√£o podem ser aquosos, se n√£o escorregas nos pensamentos do gerador de amor de meios e de recursos dispon√≠veis; quanto ao amor gerador est√° sempre ligado e √† espreita de qualquer outro meio n√£o virtual e controlado com esse pr√≥prio ser do condescender, n√£o pode ent√£o alienar-se do prazer que gera, e prolifera nessas faces sempre presentes do peda√ßo de alma que sempre quiseste abafar. Pois n√£o se pode alienar qualquer peda√ßo, pois a energia √© una e multicultural no seu sentido de satisfa√ß√£o, satisfa√ß√£o que desenvolve v√°rias realidades, pois somos virtuais e imagin√°rios, s√≥ na presen√ßa de outros ou no pr√≥prio espelho escondemos a nova energia reguladora no esp√≠rito dos neutr√Ķes, que s√£o esses os verdadeiros animais de luz. Drag√Ķes luminosos podem acender-se e, essa corrente que nos percorre e nos revitaliza diariamente d√°-nos for√ßa e m√≠mica de seres reluzentes e andantes, sim! Andantes pois nela pode estar a for√ßa da luz ou da opress√£o doentia e convalescente que se afronta com a realidade dualista e opressora. N√£o te abatas sobre essa corrente de p√≥los negativos que se infiltram nas dores profundas subconscientes e redutoras da personalidade cr√≠tica negativista, alimenta- te sim da positividade e realidade transcendente de qu√≠micas e anti qu√≠micas de circuitos alimentadores do esp√≠rito da inova√ß√£o e realiza√ß√£o, realiza√ß√£o essa que √© pessoal e intransmiss√≠vel como alimentadores de corridas fren√©ticas em direc√ß√£o a prazer nenhum, mas que arrasta a mente para as ondas do pensamento e da transmiss√£o deste. A transmiss√£o de pensamentos √© real e desenvolve circuitos que ningu√©m pode negar e esses circuitos possuem corrente que se alastra no ar intemporal das sensa√ß√Ķes e prazeres oprimidos, pois somos todos √† partida betabloqueadores de est√≠mulos exteriores mas que potenciam a nossa sede de viver. Estes impulsos afectam portanto o nosso racioc√≠nio e por vezes acontecem ou desenvolvem conflitos no pensamento, mas que podem trazer a felicidade, que com a excita√ß√£o dos prot√Ķes nos levar√° √† realidade externa.

Luz azul desencadeado de emo√ß√Ķes fortes luz azul que atravessa pontes e escadas e infiltra-se no poder dos sentimentos de que se alimenta desenvolvendo esse potencial espirituoso onde acolhe com seus feixes ultra sens√≠veis a beleza da transpar√™ncia da amizade eloquente que deseja por algo ‚Äúblue‚ÄĚ, mais forte, mais intenso, e desenvolve em n√≥s constela√ß√Ķes com ramifica√ß√Ķes profundas de sentir e de estar alienados nessa onda hertziana. Esse poder afecta mentes obl√≠quas despojadas de sensa√ß√£o de viver, azul-turquesa que afecta a amizade profunda e duradoura, ele transporta em si feixes m√°gicos de loucura e prazer amantes da beleza rara e tonificante. Nos filamentos da intensidade crepuscular, ela desenvolve-se e transmite energia acolhedora e protectora de males e prazeres com agonia e sil√™ncio, n√£o, n√£o √© uma m√°scara que nos ilude e nos alude ao pensamento abstracto, √© sim uma luz forte e intensificadora de prazer real e imagin√°rio, mas que afecta e afecta sempre quem nela se transportar e ficar sem limites para a amizade intr√≠nseca e duradoura. Ela apaixona-se e como que despojada de raz√£o mas que serve de alimento √† emo√ß√£o, vem e traz del√≠cias de prazer e lux√ļria, esse prazer √© cal√≥rico e invade tudo num frenesim de excita√ß√£o dessa cor prim√°ria que se deita e enrola abrocha do acumular de energias que se esvaziam com o tempo mas que n√£o desaparecem no futuro presente, ou seja est√° sempre presente, protectora, n√£o nos deixa evoluir a n√≠vel de prazer brilhante incontrol√°vel. 
               Em 1994 comecei a aprendizagem de electricista e a√≠ surge uma alcunha como ainda hoje sou conhecido por alguns, como o ‚Äúfaiska‚ÄĚ isto porque apanhei um choque num fio solto e no fim n√£o havia corrente el√©ctrica. Comecei a frequentar a noite e logo na primeira ida em 1994 √† discoteca eclipse, tornei-me o ‚Äúapanha-copos‚ÄĚ ainda me lembro nesse dia de ter feito um teste de alcoolemia e o resultado antes de iniciar fun√ß√Ķes era j√° superior aos 2.0. Essa noite foi fant√°stica, acabei agarrado √†s garrafas todas da discoteca e a ser transportado por um dos gerentes a casa com a cabe√ßa de fora, e l√° me deixou em casa, foi uma maravilha, nesse ver√£o do √ļltimo ano da eclipse chego ao final como barman fazendo shots e a substituir barmans a meio da noite que j√° n√£o se aguentavam. Sa√≠ de avanca e chego ovar, ingressei no ano lectivo de 1994/95 no 10¬ļ ano √°rea de desporto escola jos√© macedo fragateiro, era sempre dos piores a n√≠vel de ed. F√≠sica e desporto isto tamb√©m se devia ao meu mau comportamento, cheguei mesmo a ter um atestado m√©dico que na altura da pr√°tica de nata√ß√£o referia uma reac√ß√£o al√©rgica ao cloro, mas o que eu n√£o sabia era nadar! Tinha uma equipa de futebol que se chamava "les bufons" ou os peidolas e cheguei por eles a angariar fundos na zona comercial de estarreja. Com a bebedeira fiz-me passar pela pj em Aveiro com outro amigo, fazia est√°gios antes das provas globais no secund√°rio onde ‚Äúsubmarinos‚ÄĚ mistura de cerveja e baga√ßos se tornavam em galhofa. 
Na viajem dos finalistas em albufeira saia do supermercado com o carinho carregado de cervejas que levava-mos para o apartamento onde preenchia-mos o rodap√© do dito apartamento de garrafas vazias. Por altura do anivers√°rio da minha namorada da altura no furadouro embebedei-me de tal maneira que acabei por adormecer √† mesa ainda s√≥ tinha vindo a sopa e quando me acordaram vomitei a mesa do jantar depois me deram boleia para casa e eu quis ficar numa festa e n√£o em casa. Aos meus dezoito vi o filme transpotting achei sempre imensa piada ao facto do homem entrar numa sanita e mergulhar num mar de cagalh√Ķes e muitas vezes √† conversa com a minha avo gostava de falar com aquilo que sai de mim que √© o cagalhao ou seja s√≥ merda dos meus etarras da secundaria que faziam bullying mesmo aos mais velhos eles eram mesmo intimidadores, na festa do casamento do meu irm√£o com 3 garrafas de rum e muitos shots e agarrado ao estores nessa manha a vomitar. Tornei-me campe√£o pela equipa apelidado dos "tchetchenos" no torneio de futebol continuei o meu progresso e em 1995/96 j√° no 11¬ļ ano escola Jos√© Macedo Fragateiro conseguia obter a transi√ß√£o para o 12¬ļ ano mas com matem√°tica e f√≠sico-qu√≠mica para tr√°s, nunca mais as consegui recuperar. Saltei de uma aula pela janela e entrei pela porta a dizer que tinha ido a casa de banho o professor que era o director de turma disse que ia dizer aos meus pais e eu invoquei que tinha problemas em casa. Entretanto andava a correr e queixava-me muito de um m√ļsculo e que mais tarde vim a ser operado tratando-se de uma h√©rnia no ano 1996/97, tendo reprovado um ano avizinhava-se o servi√ßo militar ao qual na inspec√ß√£o militar me consideram inapto, queixava-me que n√£o conseguia correr porque me do√≠a as pernas. Fazia com os amigos tri-turbos ou seja charros de 3 filtros. Provocava situa√ß√Ķes de bulling influenciando o grupo de ‚Äútr√°s‚ÄĚ da escola que eram os que apelidei de eta. Promovia encontros a 4 e a 5 pessoas na cidade de ovar √† hora de almo√ßo, verdadeiros atentados a liberdade de express√£o convidados que se juntavam e com o meu melhor aliado o nuno coag√≠amos os grupos em g√©nero de praxe. Declara√ß√£o c√Ęmara municipal de Estarreja, passo a transcrever: prestou servi√ßo como monitor no programa ocupacional para crian√ßas do 1¬ļ ciclo do ensino b√°sico ‚Äúf√©rias activas‚ÄĚ, durante os meses de Julho, agosto e Setembro de 1997.‚ÄúMais se declara que os servi√ßos prestados foram amplamente reconhecidos e elogiados, quer pelo interesse e empenho demostrados, quer pelo m√©rito do trabalho realizado. Em santar√©m depois de ter dito que ia a expo fui para casa de umas amigas chegando a dar um peido e a borrar-me todo tendo atirado os boxers pela janela repetia no ano de 1997/1998 o 12¬ļ ano onde sou reprovado por faltas pela dedica√ß√£o √† associa√ß√£o de estudantes que nesse ano comecei a dirigir. A espera e ele, andava assim desejando, querendo pulando, saltitando e fumando era andando sem percorrer destino a ansiedade, varia com a idade embora se viva sempre de modo ansios√≠ssimo esperando por algo, queremos sempre qualquer coisa, tudo em n√≥s se interp√Ķe como vontade pr√≥pria involuntariamente. Nesse ano elaborei a seguinte proposta eleitoral: √© com grande determina√ß√£o e sentido de responsabilidade que nos candidatamos a estas elei√ß√Ķes √† associa√ß√£o de estudantes da escola secund√°ria Jos√© Macedo Fragateiro. √Č nosso objectivo, promover actividades culturais e recreativas de modo a dignificar esta escola, que tanto carece de se impor interna e externamente. Para alcan√ßarmos tal objectivo propomos:- realiza√ß√£o de um baile de finalistas- promover jornadas culturais e desportivas afectas a toda a popula√ß√£o estudantil, nomeadamente uma semana da juventude, torneios de futebol, basquetebol e voleibol (masc./fem.). Elaborar debates mensais, com o objectivo de formar e informar os estudantes sobre os problemas da sociedade- incentivar a cria√ß√£o de um jornal escolar - forma√ß√£o de associados- aquisi√ß√£o de um bilhar de matraquilhos - realiza√ß√£o da semana da juventude, com diversas actividades - estabelecer contacto com os ‚Äúm√©dia‚ÄĚ de modo a divulgar as actividades da nossa escola, e em particular as iniciativas da associa√ß√£o de estudantes. ‚ÄúContamos com o teu voto ‚Äúlista a - esta √© a tua associa√ß√£o lista a ‚Äď damos a cara por voc√™s.na campanha distribu√≠ preservativos pelos estudantes e mantive contactos com o centro de sa√ļde para os debates previstos que n√£o se vieram a realizar porque o centro de sa√ļde queria que os estudantes ficassem privados de aulas para assistir. Sob o lema da campanha, ‚Äúdamos a cara por voc√™s!‚ÄĚ ‚Äúsegue os nossos passos‚ÄĚ e at√© mesmo ‚Äútoca a nossa m√ļsica‚ÄĚ, com cartazes do partido socialista que apoiou esta campanha disponibilizando a sede queriam uma contrapartida, ou seja militante para o partido, as fichas de militante foram distribu√≠das mas nem sequer um militante ganhou essa for√ßa pol√≠tica da nossa associa√ß√£o. Quanto aos outros projectos o conselho executivo compra o bilhar de matraquilhos e fica com metade dos 20 escudos que custava cada partida. No dia da tomada de posse e passo a citar: na sequ√™ncia do acto eleitoral decorrido no passado dia 14 Janeiro 1998 entre as 10 e as 20 horas. Participaram duas listas, a e b cujos representantes constam do processo de candidatura, registando-se que o referido acto decorreu dentro da normalidade. Ap√≥s o fecho das urnas, onde votaram 740 alunos, procedeu-se √† contagem dos votos. Obtendo-se os seguintes resultados: dez votos brancos-quinze votos nulos- quinhentos e sete votos lista a- duzentos e oito votos lista b de acordo com a vota√ß√£o a lista a sagrou-se vencedora absoluta logo na primeira volta a posse foi concedida pela associa√ß√£o eleita no ano transacto que a seguir apresenta o balan√ßo da associa√ß√£o em rela√ß√£o ao ano lectivo de mil novecentos e noventa e sete. Ap√≥s tal apresenta√ß√£o n√£o se verifica qualquer saldo positivo. √Č ainda de referir que a associa√ß√£o anterior possui no seu patrim√≥nio uma secret√°ria, um arm√°rio met√°lico, uma cadeira, um banco e dois jogos de xadrez (incompletos).e nada mais havendo a acrescentar foi encerrada a sess√£o da qual foi lavrada a presente acta que depois de lida e aprovada vai ser assinada pelos membros presentes. Dias depois da campanha surge uma acusa√ß√£o an√≥nima a circular pela escola onde fui apelidado de rei le√£o e al capone pois por vezes fazia-me passar por tais personagens nas aulas, a coisa complica-se para o meu lado pois era tamb√©m visto pelo conselho executivo como consumidor de haxixe e segundo um psic√≥logo da escola o cabecilha. J√° no final de 1998 a psp ovar abre inqu√©rito e h√° investiga√ß√£o policial segundo as informa√ß√Ķes da queixa an√≥nima eu era filho do presidente da c√Ęmara de Estarreja e era o chefe de uma rede de tr√°fico. Tinha acabado de fumar um charro quando entrei nas instala√ß√Ķes da b√≥fia, neguei que consumia e que tinha provado e n√£o tinha gostado, desde a√≠ n√£o mais tive contacto nem informa√ß√Ķes sobre o meu interrogat√≥rio na referida esquadra de ovar. Nesse ano sobre o baile de finalistas recaem suspeitas e acusa√ß√Ķes de n√£o pagamento do referido jantar, coisa imoral pois foi pago nos dias seguintes com o 1¬ļ trabalho do meu melhor amigo da √©poca, a lista que se candidatou no ano seguinte tinha medo que n√≥s n√£o tiv√©ssemos pago o jantar, coisa que foi feita, boatos. Em Janeiro de 98 sou convidado para a semana da educa√ß√£o, trouxe recorda√ß√Ķes de sua exa. Jorge Sampaio presidente da rep√ļblica que destinou uma foto com a seguinte dedicat√≥ria ‚Äúao grupo de Aveiro, em especial √† A.E. Da escola Jos√© macedo fragateiro, com um abra√ßo amigo‚ÄĚ semana da educa√ß√£o 24 de Janeiro de 1998 ‚Äď presid√™ncia da rep√ļblica, almocei em p√© no museu da electricidade onde cumprimentei o senhor presidente. Nesse mesmo ano surge a oportunidade de trabalhar na discoteca a pildrinha no furadouro, l√° como barman entretia os clientes com garrafas e truques de malabarismo que fazem recordar o filme ‚Äúcocktail‚ÄĚ houve uma noite em que me borrei todo e tive a sensa√ß√£o que a discoteca tinha ate ardido acreditando nisso mesmo depois de acordado quando me vejo todo borrado atiro as cuecas pela janela, caem em cima de um guarda-sol de um caf√©, dias depois est√° a m√£e de um amigo meu a devolver as j√° cuecas lavadas dizendo que se calhar tinham ca√≠do l√° de cima. Era frequente beber 2 garrafas de golden strike uma de absinto juntamente com o meu parceiro. At√© que em uma festa estou a servir um cliente √† frente do patr√£o e come√ßo a encher os copos espalhando o l√≠quido pelo balc√£o todo sendo imediatamente despedido. Resumindo estava um dos gerente com um cliente e eu servi-lhes dois shots espalhando tudo ele s√≥ me disse: sai dai!  e at√© hoje nunca a mais falei com esse homem. Estive num casamento do melhor amigo do meu irm√£o, fumei erva no wc e embebedei-me de tal maneira que pus sobre a mesa um sapato e fiz de telem√≥vel. Na noite sempre acompanhado pelos copos e haxixe que consumia costumava escrever a f√≥rmula do Einstein nas capas da escola 1998-1999 monho bar ‚Äď barman aqui estive uns meses a servir copos. Realizei uma festa final de 2¬ļperiodo, como habitual a concorrente discoteca F√©nix metia 900 pessoas, na primeira festa do monho atingi as 700 pessoas contra as quase 200 pessoas restantes na festa rival, foi um √™xito. Depois da festa levei todos os elementos da associa√ß√£o a jantar fora pagando ao dono do monho o jantar n√£o dando este, mais nenhum dinheiro pela festa. Neste ano comecei os meus descontos como empregado na philips, oper√°rio fabril onde trabalhei dois meses com quase duas semanas de faltas. Nessa altura consegui emprego na uniteca/quimigal. Fui barman/animador com os meus truques de malabarismo na discoteca dacasca foi aqui que consumi a minha primeira ‚Äúpastilha‚ÄĚ parti em dois e tomei em dias diferenciados as metades parecia que nada que o que eu fizesse era √† velocidade do corpo, como por exemplo desfolhar uma revista inteira e n√£o ler nada ou chegar a casa e p√īr m√ļsica e n√£o conseguindo acompanhar o ritmo. Foi a primeira e √ļnica experi√™ncia com essas subst√Ęncias. Na discoteca dacasca o rela√ß√Ķes publicas e o seguran√ßa quando me foram buscar para mais um dia de trabalho disseram-me que eu no dia anterior com as garrafas e o meu malabarismo tinha acertado na cabe√ßa de uma cliente que tinha ido para o hospital saindo a noticia no jornal, afinal era tudo mentira e eu tinha acreditado. Por um atraso de 3 horas em que estive com uma namorada chego l√° e sou substitu√≠do pelo apanha copos e despedido na hora. Abria um bar novo em Estarreja onde estive nos anos de 1998/99 como barman/porteiro her√≥is do bar, numa dessas noites empresto um livro sobre os ‚Äúthe doors‚ÄĚ e morre o ‚Äúamericano‚ÄĚ foi colhido pelo comboio ele e o meu livro. Cheguei a fazer um dep√≥sito de 100$ para poder levantar 1.000$...durante 2 anos como porteiro e at√© queimarem a porta com gasolina de moto, mas nunca provoquei nem me envolvi com ningu√©m. Organizo um r√©veillon 1998/1999 no her√≥is do bar organiza√ß√£o faiska & friends chamo todos os amigos para a passagem de ano. Mando todos os clientes do bar sair antes da meia-noite acabando por encerrar o bar e a passagem de ano. Vou ao pedras bar ovar onde sou agredido por fazer publicidade dentro do estabelecimento a outro evento, apresentei queixa na pol√≠cia e estes v√£o ao bar no qual lhes √© dito que andei a partir cinzeiros l√° dentro, pura mentira. Cheguei a ir para o minist√©rio p√ļblico mas n√£o dei sequ√™ncia ao processo por falta de testemunhas. Na passagem de ano de 98/99 ‚Äď her√≥is do bar av. Visconde de Salreu Estarreja montei um programa em que: as 12 badaladas numa s√≥ noite [e dia] ‚Ķd.j.¬īs on control resident sergius guest d.j. Vitinho e inc√≥gnito. No meio da festa e com o intuito de me ir vestir a casa para a festa e os meus amigos aparecerem, pus fora todos os clientes do bar onde era porteiro nessa noite de final de ano. Em pensamentos ponho em causa a ordem do alfabeto e chego a pensar que o ab ou os abba estavam muito √° frente penso criar um sistema de seguran√ßa entre os homens tipo piscar o olho ou tocar e sentir o outro e andarem todos em velocidade a ver o que estava mal ou a sofrer e ajudar. Vejo televis√£o e penso que os rodap√©s cont√™m mensagens √† minha mente vejo o canal a f.t.v e penso que nesse dia vou receber o pr√©mio nobel. J√° pensei uma vez estar a comer √≥rg√£os humanos e era uma loja comida ao kilo nesse dia pensei que os vidros partidos na rua eram diamantes, estava a ver o filme snatch / porcos e diamantes no cinema em Aveiro quando penso ser o actor do filme, come√ßo a tirar os sapatos e a entrar e sair do cinema, era o meu filme. Em Estarreja fugi em acto de liberdade suprema para perto do rio e penso em trepar √°s √°rvores, meto meio corpo no rio e penso que sou uma pessoa genial e que o sr. Presidente da rep√ļblica est√° a observa-me, tenho contactos com as vacas que estavam a pastar e tento comunicar-lhes os meus pensamentos. Penso que me est√£o a roubar as ideias e que me querem fazer mal, come√ßo a sentir coisas estranhas, a isolar-me, fazia coisas como revolver o quarto todo, ler livros de psicologia para tentar perceber o que me estava a suceder, comecei a delirar, manias de persegui√ß√£o, ou que estava a ser vigiado e controlado seja pela televis√£o ou pelos jornais do dia, chego a pensar que o meu pai me iria comprar um bar, e que era o maior do mundo, s√≥ fazia coisas bizarras levando os meus pais a ficar seriamente preocupados, nesta balb√ļrdia geral algu√©m chama a GNR e os bombeiros que ainda me transportam ao hospital do qual fugi andando horas √† deriva, at√© que sou encontrado pelos militares da GNR que me dizem: ‚Äúest√°vamos mesmo √† tua procura‚ÄĚ, sou levado para o hospital de Aveiro, posteriormente √†s urg√™ncias psiqui√°tricas de Coimbra. Levado pelos bombeiros amarrado a uma maca, ap√≥s conversa fico a pensar que vou levar uma injec√ß√£o e vou ter com as meninas ap√≥s conversa com o chefe da psiquiatria, mas s√≥ levei a injec√ß√£o‚ĶQuando acordo estou num quarto da ala psiqui√°trica!? Fugi, peguei num t√°xi e fui de Coimbra a Estarreja onde disse ao taxista para esperar e fui avisar a minha m√£e... No dia seguinte sou levado a tomar um comprimido enviado pelos psiquiatras sem saber que era propositado para me sentir mal, pedindo que me levassem ao hospital, permaneci mais de 20 dias sob regime de conten√ß√£o f√≠sica ou seja amarrado com um cinto √† cama! Em Estarreja as boas vindas do intermarche pareceram-me um convite a entrar numa casa vizinha, cheguei a entrar no jardim pensando eles que eu era ladr√£o e chegaram mesmo a fazer queixa mas depois a GNR disse que estava mesmo √† minha procura e levaram-me para o hospital. Os h.u.c ‚Äď hospitais da universidade de Coimbra segundo o boletim de internamento ‚Äď servi√ßo de psiquiatria homens ‚Äď doente foi admitido neste hospital em 1999-01-03 e teve alta 1999-02-15 ‚Äď doen√ßa normal. No hospital de Coimbra recebeu o primeiro numero da superinteressante na qual estava o homem a revirar os pap√©is e era o nome fa√≠scas. Participou no torneio de matraquilhos realizado no servi√ßo de psiquiatria ‚Äď homens huc 11 Fevereiro 1999 em Coimbra sou abordado pelo chefe de psiquiatria o qual fumava comigo e punha cinza para um copo de pl√°stico e me iludia dizendo que ia ter sucesso, mulheres e viajar, quando no final entra a enfermeira e eu pensei comigo vais levar-me para alguma festa da ftv e vai ser s√≥ sexo quando no final era uma injec√ß√£o que levava no dia seguinte quando acordo dou comigo num quarto sei la vindo de onde, sa√≠ dos limites do hospital indo em direc√ß√£o aos carros que passavam e as casas iluminadas ou seja onde continha movimento pensando que a policia estava a interagir comigo, acabei por ser levado de volta por um senhor que passou de carro e me viu de pijama, pedi que me soltassem e que de dessem o termo de responsabilidade para assinar, facto ignorado por toda a equipa m√©dica mesmo sendo eu maior de idade. A sa√≠da de l√° compara-se a um terramoto na vida social, ficando fragilizado nos pr√≥ximos anos, cheguei a ter medos como por exemplo: ir ao caf√©, ter medo que a ch√°vena ca√≠sse e as pessoas comentassem o meu nome. 
               Como 3¬ļescritur√°rio em 1999 fazia a distribui√ß√£o do correio e registo das cartas, na altura descolorei o cabelo, distribu√≠a o correio de carro sem ter ainda carta, dentro do per√≠metro da fabrica onde era circular a 30km/h, quis sentir pela primeira vez um carro chegando a ter um acidente partindo o p√°ra-choques e tive mesmo de justificar.
               N√£o durmo, pois n√£o quero dormir quero sim viver eis um obst√°culo que n√£o me deixa dormir vou enfrent√°-lo com ins√≥nias.
               Inscrevi-me no externato lu√≠s de cam√Ķes, pedi uma equival√™ncia a portugu√™s de 11 valores e refiz o percurso por unidades capitaliz√°veis do ensino secund√°rio. Declara√ß√£o ipj, exerceu fun√ß√Ķes de animador de informa√ß√£o, como bolseiro, de 01 de Mar√ßo de 1999 a 05 de Fevereiro de 2000 ia √†s escolas fazer publicidade de comportamentos saud√°veis para os jovens. Come√ßo a ver pornografia online e a ter contacto com chats. ‚Äúno desempenho das suas fun√ß√Ķes mostrou-se interessado e din√Ęmico desempenhando correctamente as suas tarefas, nomeadamente, o atendimento aos utentes, a divulga√ß√£o da informa√ß√£o de interesse para os jovens, a actualiza√ß√£o dos suportes de informa√ß√£o e o contacto com o instituto portugu√™s da juventude‚ÄĚ, Aveiro, 09 de Mar√ßo de 2000. Fui a Tenerife sozinho nos √ļltimos dias come√ßo a pensar na mulher da minha vida e escrevo 3 postais com o nome de raquel Mamede - Bombarral Portugal e passado dias recebo um telefonema dela em albufeira simulo uma m√° disposi√ß√£o junto com uma namorada da altura vou ter ao apartamento para estar com a raquel e passado umas horas dou comigo com a ex. Namorada a p√īr uma colher fixa na campainha e vir um amigo meu saltando de uma varanda para a outra avisando-me da ex. Sendo que passados momentos ela saltou tamb√©m e veio ao meu encontro eu fugi para a sala do apartamento e escondi-me de baixo dos len√ß√≥is do meu melhor amigo da altura e ela perguntou onde estava o filipe e eu sai dos len√ß√≥is e disse estou aqui ela fugiu do apartamento eu perseguia pelas ruas chegando a passar-lhe uma rasteira para a acalmar ficando ela no ch√£o. Consigo o diploma ensino secund√°rio recorrente 1999/2000 com a classifica√ß√£o final de 16 valores ‚Äď ovar 11 de Dezembro de 2000, fiz um exame na √°rea interdisciplinar sa√≠ a meio e conclui c√° fora depois fui entregar a outro professor, passado dois dias vou ao seu escrit√≥rio pedindo desculpa pela falta de honestidade o professor faz novo exame e atribui a nota de 20, a nota m√°xima habitual pelo professor era 16 valores. Consegui as notas de 11 a portugu√™s, 15 a ingl√™s, 15 a franc√™s, 17 a √°rea interdisciplinar, 18 a filosofia e 18 a inform√°tica, copiava nos exames obtendo assim aprova√ß√£o no curso. Enquanto estudava trabalhei no hotel meia-lua fui funcion√°rio, com a categoria profissional de ‚ÄĚestagi√°rio de recep√ß√£o do 2¬ļ ano‚ÄĚ desde o dia 08 de Fevereiro de 2000 at√© ao dia 31 de maio de 2000 ‚Äúadquiriu conhecimentos neste hotel nas sec√ß√Ķes recep√ß√£o/portaria e bar. Demonstrou ao longo deste per√≠odo grande capacidade de aprender, dedica√ß√£o invulgar, bem como sentido de responsabilidade. Louvamos a sua disponibilidade e o seu relacionamento com todos n√≥s. Ovar 28/07/00.aqui dormia nos quartos do hotel, tinha festas no bar e ia √† piscina na aus√™ncia dos respons√°veis. Tive um processo disciplinar por agress√£o ao colega do bar pois este fazia-me sentir minorado pois sabia que tinha estado hospitalizado em psiquiatria. Depois fui para lisboa e consegui um emprego de empregado de balc√£o num caf√© no centro comercial do imaviz era o ano 2000 tinha por h√°bito frequentar uma discoteca no centro comercial onde dan√ßava at√© altas horas imaginando-me o melhor dan√ßarino na altura tinha comigo um frasco de popper¬īs o qual inalava antes de entrar no emprego gostava de cheirar e olhar para o c√©u em frente ao hotel sheraton, este frasco foi a minha 2¬™ experi√™ncia com subst√Ęncias qu√≠micas, mas numa mais voltei a faz√™-lo nem mais procurei tal na minha vida. Participei no staff carnaval de Estarreja de 2001 ‚Äď entrudo ou nada! Entrudo ou nada! Declara√ß√£o c√Ęmara municipal de ovar ‚Äď divis√£o da cultura, biblioteca e patrim√≥nio hist√≥rico. Declara-se que exerceu fun√ß√Ķes de auxiliar administrativo, no regime de contrato a termo certo, entre 06 de agosto de 2001 a 30 de maio de 2002, nos servi√ßos de atendimento ao p√ļblico da biblioteca municipal de ovar e no museu j√ļlio dinis ‚Äď uma casa ovarense ‚Äúo que fez com grande sentido de responsabilidade e empenho‚ÄĚ tinha documentos da biblioteca e fiz desaparecer o registo dos ‚Äúcasos perdidos‚ÄĚ 2001 ‚Äď GNR hospital leiria entre leiria e a batalha h√° uma den√ļncia pelo r√°dio de um camionista que ia a perturbar o tr√Ęnsito, a bt √© chamada ao local depois de rebocarem o carro dizem que n√£o h√° multa nenhuma, chamam refor√ßos e levam-me para o hospital de leiria algemado. Em caldas da rainha pensava ver snipers e pessoas que vigiavam das janelas 26/11 a 07/12 de 2000, no hospital infante d. Pedro 2001 ‚Äď fico sem carta pela dgv regresso a casa com o ve√≠culo mas j√° sem carta e nunca mais volto a conduzir recebo carta do tribunal penalizando-me com uma multa de infrac√ß√£o muito grave (sem m√≠nimos) per√≠odo de cassa√ß√£o 30 dias, levo a carta a dgv que fica com ela e diz para tirar outras por causa daquela lei de ser condutor √† menos de 2 anos. Chego a revirar o meu quarto e pensar que tinha c√Ęmaras a filmar-me e que estava a ser vigiado por espi√Ķes. Em leiria penso que a Interpol andava a colaborar comigo, uma vez pus 5,01 cent. De gasolina e pagando 5 ‚ā¨ achando que que tinha descoberto a formula de ganhar e ficar milion√°rio. Nesses dias pensei que tinha espi√Ķes russos debaixo do carro. Penso que sou m√°gico e que estou a controlar o carro com a mente e o c√©rebro colado √† m√°quina do autom√≥vel a uma rota√ß√£o sempre constante o que faz que me aventure a meio da estrada em cuecas com uma bola saltitona a aventurar-me essa bola foi lan√ßada nas caldas da rainha e bateu no ch√£o em frente ao tribunal e subiu ao seu telhado. Sou interpelado pela brigada da GNR de comando da b5 consideradas as regi√Ķes de Coimbra e Aveiro come√ßo a ter ideias de persegui√ß√£o e colo jornais no carro que √© rebocado por ordem da bt de leiria. Declara√ß√£o liscont ‚Äď operadores de contentores, trabalhador com a categoria de praticante na √°rea administrativa. Durante momento deitava-me na wc na liscont, tive 2 meses sem fumar haxixe e quando voltei do√≠a-me a cabe√ßa come√ßou os problemas com uma sa√≠da antecipada liscont o amor profundo, o amor sofrido foi sentido tamb√©m esquecido no fundo meio perdido arrependido e vivido. Viajei sob as nuvens voei sob os c√©us estive nos planetas em marte e em J√ļpiter em marte, resolvi amar-te e em J√ļpiter quis-te ter eis o meu ser, voando de caneta de planeta em planeta havia for√ßa, havia energia, alegria era algo que transmitia o amor em forma de flor. Tinha a for√ßa do sol, movia-se como o girassol, tinha vontade pr√≥pria em busca incessante de algo escaldante era um sonho, uma conquista, um objectivo, tudo com paix√£o, sem dimens√£o era grandioso, espantoso enfim muito amoroso. Olhei pela janela reparei no horizonte passei os olhos pelo monte olhei em frente vi a tua estrela, era brilhante cintilante levantei o olhar vi a lua era minha e tua, era paisagem, uma viagem, via-te a viajar sobre a terra e sob o mar, acompanhei-te viajamos conquista-mos sobre a terra e sob o mar era apenas o luar. Tinha aquela saudade, de querer, desejar, amar, pensar, sentir. Estou com saudades tuas e √© querer ter-te aqui, desejar o encontro, amar-te, pensar sempre em ti e sentir a tua presen√ßa, a√≠ que saudades e estar sem ti, pensar, querer, sentir-te e amar-te sem ver-te, desejar-te com os 5 sentidos: vis√£o que te v√™ sem estares, olfacto sem te cheirar, ouvir-te sem fazeres barulho, paladar deliciar-me sem te provar e tacto sem te tocar. A lembran√ßa que por ti sofri, senti, amei, vivi, nunca amei outra que beijei, em ti, vi, entrei √©s o amor que sempre lembrarei. 30 de maio de 2003, o casamento o amor mar filipe moura 02 Jun. Lisboa ‚Äď Madrid havana Madrid Madrid 09 Jun. Lisboa 10 Jun. 2003 vou a cuba e em havana compro 100 d√≥lares de marijuana que na realidade √© uma merda. Estive 4 meses sem fumar charros antes de ingressar, depois fumei e do√≠a-me a cabe√ßa foi o come√ßo das intrigas com a chefe e acabei por meter baixa e ir procurar emprego. Faculdade de letras dormia nas salas de aula e fumava os meus charros. C√Ęmara municipal de lisboa biblioteca orlando ribeiro apavorado pelo contacto com os mais novos crio a fobia de fazer actividades com eles, trabalhei um m√™s despedindo-me. No seguimento de querer esclarecer algumas d√ļvidas com a t√©cnica superior, digo que me demito e apresento baixa m√©dica - mandei uma carta ao presidente do Isel com a descrimina√ß√£o dos factos nomeadamente n√£o poder entrar nas casas de banho e deixar queijo na tosteira, sa√≠... Escrevi vive a insatisfa√ß√£o com satisfa√ß√£o num postal dos ctt e enviei a mim pr√≥prio para o receber. Envio uma carta ao presidente da rep√ļblica dando conta dos meus √ļltimos 8 anos. Desemprego, contacto a seguran√ßa social na loja do cidad√£o de lisboa que me diz que n√£o tenho direito ao subs√≠dio de desemprego quando na realidade o tinha discuto com a sogra e mulher e vou de comboio at√© faro com a ideia de ir ao apanhar um avi√£o ao Luxemburgo para falar com o dur√£o barroso na uni√£o europeia com o intuito deste me dar trabalho. Culminar s√≥ mais um instante, um momento vindo desse teu pensamento, provavelmente todos existimos n√£o apenas como imagem virtuosa mas em fun√ß√£o de uma apar√™ncia ou estado a mente n√£o morre no momento em que cessa toda a exist√™ncia f√≠sica e de repente tudo se apaga, ou poder√° culminar. 
               Ouvi vozes de comando que diziam para me suicidar, momentos antes tinha dito √† minha mulher que era um ‚Äúhacker‚ÄĚ, que tinha profiss√£o, escrevi um papel a dizer que sempre os amei fui ao minimercado comprar duas garrafas de am√™ndoa amarga e bebi tudo juntamente com v√°rios comprimidos. A minha mulher quando entrou e viu-se abra√ßos com aquela situa√ß√£o ligou ao inem chegaram os bombeiros pouco depois e deram-me azeite quando acordo estou com uma fralda no hospital. Dias depois dizia aos meus vizinhos que tinha sido uma interac√ß√£o medicamentosa chegaram-me a dizer um caf√© perto se n√£o seriam dos caf√©s que tomava 02/2007 1¬™ tentativa de suic√≠dio.
               Se em mim se evaporasse a minha alma, nada restaria al√©m de escombros secretos, alheio √† fantasia. De uma subvers√£o emergida, flutua a ociosidade de mais um momento, particular. A aus√™ncia, se tocasse e visse o teu mundo, ficaria imundo, sem um toque mudo de sensibilidade, de pelo menos crer que algu√©m, supera a minha realidade. A minha simples tristeza √© como toda a felicidade ating√≠vel quanto inalcan√ß√°vel. Por magia, sem ironia de em um dia te disser, toca e sente-me como me olhas e ver√°s quem eu n√£o sou e o que senti nunca tanto sofrendo, nada mais querendo, morrendo por ti atrav√©s de mim por ti escrevi por tanto que sofri e nunca morri e por ti jamais perdi s√≥ senti serei junto a ti num ardente f√≥sforo queima a dor que em mim encerra quando tudo queimar. Nunca te tirei, ali√°s em ti direi que sofres porque nunca te deixei e saber que vos amei e sempre vos amarei. √Č tratado no hospital curry e Cabral onde esteve em ‚Äúcoma‚ÄĚ e surge acordado e v√™-se s√≥ com uma fralda, n√£o me lembro da conversa com o psiquiatra que no entanto me d√° ordem de liberta√ß√£o ap√≥s assinar o termo de responsabilidade. - pensava em atirar animais das janelas dos andares e tinha ideias de destruir ou matar pessoas perturba√ß√Ķes incr√≠veis sentia cortes no corpo e dilacera√ß√Ķes estados de esp√≠rito muito perturbador e agitados emocionalmente um desejo, pe√ßo-te d√°-me um beijo igual √†queles sabes? D√°-me um beijo escondido, como aqueles que surripi√°mos um ao outro quando o desejo crescia d√°-me um beijo, suave, daqueles, tu sabes. Meigo, doce a saber a ti. Dou-te um beijo meu. Com o devido respeito, permita-te voc√™ e eu! O que acha de mim e eu de voc√™? Eu estou- lhe grato por me ter lido, talvez compreendido! Passando a parte das considera√ß√Ķes se j√° me leu j√° tiraram as suas ela√ß√Ķes no m√≠nimo eloquentes presente desembrulhado √† hora legal j√° a missa do galo ou jogo do galo eis o terr√≠vel question!? Reflex√£o ao √™xtase comunicativo intelig√≠vel ao m√≠nimo e simples eco do sil√™ncio que nos afasta actos s√£o palavras de dor mesmo num singelo ardor de rejei√ß√£o. Obst√°culo intranspon√≠vel fisicamente mas n√£o pela qu√≠mica hormonal e espiritual do ser luminoso. Corpos celestes invadem-nos para o desabrochar do amor-perfeito. Em busca do trevo do amor, pois a riqueza consiste na compreens√£o de seres multifacetados e sempre com algo a acrescentar a este ponto de vista. Mais um acrescento, mais um aumento, esse desejo de compaix√£o e de ternura que nos exila para a auto-estima representativa nos meios sociais. Vista a perspectiva do eu uno e indivis√≠vel, n√£o se aliena qualquer vontade por mais vontades que surgem no c√≠rculo. Esse c√≠rculo de ouro, alian√ßa da boa-f√©, e de fidelidade e respeito, sobretudo dever a, n√£o existe. Somos puros e selvagens no modo de actuar, e nada mais ego√≠sta do que o eu, que s√≥ por s√™-lo invade sempre o outro com o seu ponto de vista. Inflamada a mente suscept√≠vel de um simples confronto de ideias, urge apelo ao bom senso. Quando devemos ceder ou interpor o eu com o outro. Nada mais banal que rejeitar o que n√£o queremos, √© f√°cil. Amar e amar √© sim sentir o outro e n√£o eu. Atitude construtiva do elo entre n√≥s o ser. Impresso no comportamento instintivo s√≥ pensamos no eu, depois no eu, e j√° agora eu outra vez. Conflitos porque um √© eu transformado em ‚Äúeus‚ÄĚ e nunca se sabe bem quantos ‚Äúeus‚ÄĚ temos de suportar at√© ceder ao outro. √Č uma esp√©cie de venha a n√≥s que √© sempre a abrir. Aten√ß√£o aos ‚Äúeus‚ÄĚ pr√≥pria com que ser pr√≥prio te mascara e a que n√≠vel de ego√≠smo est√°. Pois bem a armadura do eu um dia h√°- de ser t√£o quebrada pelo ‚Äútu¬īs‚ÄĚ que existem e que s√£o ‚Äúeu¬īs‚ÄĚ mais ‚Äúeu¬īs‚ÄĚ que estalam a armadura. Amor: o amor vence tudo. Agosto de 2007 div√≥rcio... Luz efervescente - cai e efervesce, dilui-se e expande-se em ramifica√ß√Ķes de um desejo inconquist√°vel, pois √© ilus√£o como todos os olhares que depois se desmoronam aquando confrontados com a realidade externa. Dotados de mal√≠cias e contrafeitos epis√≥dios espor√°dicos de loucura de desejo efervescente como o amor que se expande e contamina, ocupa todos os pensamentos e deixa-se dominar e ser dominador, isso √© a troca de energia revitalizadora, o conte√ļdo luminoso est√° l√°. C√©u iluminado, nada mais forte que o desejo em alcan√ßar o perfeito equil√≠brio do c√©u iluminado, pois s√£o as estrelas, que lhes d√£o vida e movem pensamentos ideias ou factos, do desejo ao concreto, nada mais lindo que o c√©u iluminado por energias constelares que apelam a uma constante interac√ß√£o entre as estrelas, e o poder das estrelas √© √ļnico. Assusta-me como as energias se esvaem em fumo sem chama, isto √© n√£o querer interpretar a realidade c√≥smica. Fico decepcionado quando a vitalidade √© suprimida por acomoda√ß√£o e cristaliza√ß√£o de sentimentos √© sem d√ļvida uma m√°scara do politicamente correcto. √ď alma transforma-te numa magia e sobrevoa as mentes que n√£o t√™m corrente impulsiva da verdade dos factos e da constante muta√ß√£o das coisas, a mudan√ßa s√£o etapas e ciclos por quais todos passam e desenvolvem, mas nunca no caminho do medo e do sofrimento dos sentimentos. Liberta-te e expande-te e sobretudo sofre a muta√ß√£o da vida, essa mudan√ßa que nos impulsiona. Luz da vida, submergiram as paix√Ķes de loucura. Porqu√™? Instintivamente amam e queremos ser amados, paix√Ķes e desilus√Ķes abrem caminho a v√°rias ilus√Ķes. Iludido e apaixonado me foco e concentro em toda a metodologia do amar de verdade, isto trespassa qualquer falsidade. Nu no campo de ac√ß√£o do ser amado estamos perante a verdadeira identidade do ser, portanto ser amado exige de n√≥s uma profunda conscientiza√ß√£o do porqu√™ de sermos amados e no entanto existe uma dicotomia necess√°ria de bom agrado retribuir e amarmos tamb√©m, esta dial√©ctica presume-se que 1+1= 1, quando logicamente ningu√©m consegue usufruir de nada. Portanto logicamente 1+1=2, correcto, mas a conduta n√£o ser√° producente se o resultado n√£o for o empate t√©cnico das atitudes e valores e comportamento em geral, da√≠ que ent√£o haja uma posi√ß√£o una no meio da vida amorosa. Entendido e ser√° essa verdade √ļnica fonte de prazer, ou o ser individualista quer outra ac√ß√£o, entenda-se ac√ß√£o como a verdadeira liberdade. Pois bem, n√£o vivi o suficiente para ultrapassar as seguintes etapas, l√≥gicas ou il√≥gicas ficar√° ao crit√©rio de v√°rios de voc√™s, n√£o quero ter a certeza absoluta, da√≠ que imagino-me asno de vez em quando, e hoje em dia √© dif√≠cil haver burros propriamente ditos, existem sim os asnos artificiais, que enganam quem verdadeiramente se coloca por vezes neste papel, tirem as vossas pr√≥prias conclus√Ķes. N√£o estou c√° para isso, ali√°s acerca de loucuras tenho receios, e atitudes que n√£o cometo, visto que o louco s√≥ o √© em certas circunst√Ęncias e quando julgado por os demais, ou seja depende muitas vezes do ‚Äúhabitat‚ÄĚ. Desviando um pouco deste racioc√≠nio quero ent√£o dizer que sou louco, assumo que gostei de v√°rias pessoas e da√≠, que nunca estamos preenchidos, queremos mais amor e mais e mais porqu√™ tanta ambi√ß√£o amorosa, tal como coloquei a quest√£o. Retiro dizendo o seguinte, todos somos livres de cometer loucuras no amor, somos vulner√°veis e muitas vezes manipulados. Queremos crer que √© verdade que amamos, porqu√™, porque fomos amados, esse sentimento que desperta carinho e despoleta a sabedoria da vida 

11/2007 2¬™ Tentativa de suic√≠dio com comprimidos, uma escalada no hospital curry e Cabral mal entro na enfermaria sou abordado pelos enfermeiros ‚Äúent√£o tenta-se matar a estas horas com benzodiazepinas?!‚ÄĚ, depois das analises estou a intravenosas tiro a agulha e jorro sangue. 
Viver morrendo entre viver ou morrer? Ai! Perd√£o, isso coloca-se? √ďbvio, quem nunca se matou? Todos j√° deixamos de viver um momento todos sem excep√ß√£o como prazer funesto pensa vamos morrer e depois logo vamos viver √© assim o contradit√≥rio do rid√≠culo. Ap√≥s o meu anivers√°rio tento ir ‚Äúal√©m‚ÄĚ acordo 20 horas depois completamente desfigurado e sedado, sobrevivi, mais uma vez. Participo num concurso p√ļblico sou avaliado para uma vaga de t√©cnico administrativo por uma equipa de 3 m√©dico e tem uma nota de 17,41 valore ficando em segundo lugar no concurso, na noite anterior n√£o tinha dormido e tinha fumado mais de 10 charros, a entrevista foi logo de manh√£. Isto na faculdade de medicina do porto. Onde dias mais tarde cheguei a ir porque andava com pensamentos suicidas e onde nem sequer fui atendido, esperei, mas fartei-me de esperar. A luz encaminhou-me na direc√ß√£o da corrente de extasia da vida quotidiana, iluminou-me o futuro doentio e despropositado para ent√£o sim, trov√Ķes abatem-se em mim e relampeja como dinamite despojado de prazer funesto. Ent√£o sim curado sa√≠ das entranhas cal√≥ricas de rigor e de exactid√£o. Mas n√£o sei se me iluminar√° o passado pois temo que ela n√£o tenha energia. Da√≠ que h√° dois p√≥los, dois extremos e eu fui atingido pela positiva e curativa e n√£o pela negra e assombrosa. Essa luz prov√©m da clareza de emo√ß√Ķes e racionalidade do crep√ļsculo do imediato e impulsivo, sem transi√ß√£o e opaco de sentidos, n√£o sentimentos embutidos nem pregados √† emo√ß√£o, ao prazer de viver e desfrutar na for√ßa m√°xima o que nos movimenta sobre terra e nos d√° poder n√£o, agarra o talento que tens e for√ßa como um raio azul cortante e ventilaste de sufocos n√£o vividos e de pensamentos maliciosos e penetrantes que nos vitimam como sombras, tudo tem movimento, mas ela est√° presente e como que se revela, infiltra-se nos sentidos da vis√£o e mostra-nos a clareza do pensamento atrav√©s do sil√™ncio dos tempos, e como se cala endurecesse a opini√£o e desfruta das incapacidades ingl√≥rias que outros transmitem atrav√©s de energias negativas ou positivas. √Ä velocidade do pensamento, do imediato, do segundo, da frac√ß√£o, do momento, e o momento √© instant√Ęneo da√≠ que n√£o haver√° cortes no quadro nem na conduta mais rid√≠cula pois todos t√™m direitos, sejam eles de efeito positivo ou negativo. J√° o efeito dilacerante da faiska negra acontece no p√≥lo neutro de sensatez e se transporta na loucura da energia vibrante e sedenta de prazer e de luminar, por isso aconselho usa a tua pr√≥pria energia para ser atingindo pela luz e esbater√° um sorriso ardente como cinzas, despojadas de calor, mas fren√©tica quando agitada. Doutro quadrante temos o raio azul com pensamento imperturb√°vel de luzes de √°rvore de natal e stressadas que nos conduzem √† distrac√ß√£o. √Č nessa transi√ß√£o que se confrontam as energias pragm√°ticas n√£o efusivas mas obstrutivas que nos impedem de viver o instant√Ęneo, o trov√£o agita-se e proeminentemente afecta a onda sonora que produzem velocidades supers√≥nicas mas n√£o t√£o poderosas assim. O que √© real e parece irreal. A vida, no eterno guardar ela a√≠ se p√Ķe e depois n√£o h√° como enfrent√°-la, contorn√°-la ou manipul√°-la √© o terror do dissidente que efervesce e culmina num s√≥ ponto paralisa√ß√£o da mente da cria√ß√£o, imagina√ß√£o ou s√≥ pintar um tra√ßo florescente de verde de tonalidade e agarrar a vida nesse tom de viver florescer, c√° se encontra o marcador que sempre quiseste assinalar, vive intensamente. 
01/2008 faço uma tatuagem com as letras
Darklightning e uma fa√≠sca na omoplata e dizendo o poder da luz¬ī08 ap√≥s essa tatuagem nunca mais intentei contra a vida
2007-11/2008-01 ‚Äď Comercial fast fone sou o melhor cliente do patr√£o compra 5 telem√≥veis √† empresa, deixa de aparecer no trabalho. Em Estarreja na biblioteca no espa√ßo reservado ao parqueamento dos deficientes sentei-me e deitei-me no lugar alusivo ao meu protesto referente ao modo como o ser diferente implica n√£o ser diferente ou seja acabou em reclama√ß√£o do tamanho do pr√≥prio livro iniciado e conclu√≠do e foi preenchido plagiado de um livro sobre ‚Äúser diferente‚ÄĚ que estava no escaparate da entrada o qual passado um dia estava repleta de regras de boa educa√ß√£o e etiqueta com mais de 20 volumes no estandarte. Na biblioteca de Estarreja 02/2008 ando com o capacete azul das obras e como trabalhador das obras p√ļblicas, escrevo o seguinte na porta do quarto: em mim impera o sil√™ncio pelo sofrimento. Amea√ßo o irm√£o de morte e sou levado pelas autoridades sob essa acusa√ß√£o para avalia√ß√£o psiqui√°trica. Vou por iniciativa pr√≥pria ao hospital visconde de Salreu onde sou admitido como doente, gera-se uma discuss√£o onde e sobre estar doente ou n√£o, √© que o sistema inform√°tico s√≥ admitia a entrada como sendo doente?! Proponho-me a ir para o hospital psiqui√°trico de Coimbra chegando a vir com os militares da gnr que me deram boleia para casa, no dia seguinte. Fa√ßo greve de palavras e fico mudo mais de 10 horas. Comprei aparelhos de luz e som com colunas de 100watts amplificadas o cd com o manifesto anti Dantas era colocado em m√°ximo volume pela janela do meu quarto, sobre Jos√© de Almada-negreiros, poeta d'Orfeu futurista e tudo. H.u.c ‚Äď hospitais da universidade de Coimbra boletim de internamento ‚Äď servi√ßo de psiquiatria homens ‚Äď doente foi admitido neste hospital em 2008-02-02 teve alta 2008- 02-18 ‚Äď doen√ßa normal, muda a fralda ao colega de quarto, com outro discuto com ele chegando a sair depois a meio do tratamento. Conduzido pelas autoridades ao hospital sou algemado e nem sequer sou visto pela psiquiatra sendo for√ßado a aderir ao tratamento contra a minha vontade, preso a uma maca e levando uma injec√ß√£o. Peguei nos livros que tinha emprestados e atirei-os para o lago da c√Ęmara municipal tirei a camisola nesse dia, mostrei √† frente de uma missa no exterior a minha tatuagem que tinha o desenho do poder da luz, cheguei a deixar 15 euros na prociss√£o. Cheguei a ser intimado pelo vereador da cultura de Estarreja que se n√£o entregasse os livros levados da biblioteca seria instaurado um procedimento criminal o pior √© o cd riscou-se e no dia da prociss√£o foram atirados os livros para a fonte luminosa da pra√ßa municipal. 
               Quando fiquei mudo por causa da doen√ßa concebi um plano, ficar com um segredo multimilion√°rio eu pensava n√£o vou falar porque n√£o quero, vou ficar mudo, o meu filho com um livro √°rabe escrito a m√£o por mim vai ter o maior tesouro do mundo. 
               No papel da enfermaria de Coimbra foi-me diagnosticado psicose esquizofr√©nica se calhar s√≥ j√° penso que sou esquizofr√©nico... Escutava as conversas na reuni√£o dos enfermeiros, a auxiliar mais esperta percebeu que eu estava a ouvir diz para os colegas que era a minha vez... Tinha escrito na ficha `‚ÄĚperigo de fuga‚ÄĚ ‚Äúmanter pijama‚ÄĚ eu a achar aquilo rid√≠culo, alguma vez ia fugir de pijama?! Para sair deste internamento compulsivo sou obrigado a assinar um documento do tribunal em como vou cumprir o tratamento. Na entrevista de entrada no hospital de Aveiro disse que queria ser tratado com o meu pseud√≥nimo ‚Äúo senhor da luz‚ÄĚ, que s√≥ comia frutos ca√≠dos das √°rvores e n√£o gostava de manteiga e doce de morango. O que havia nas refei√ß√Ķes habituais. Pensava em formas de suic√≠dio, como atirar-me do padr√£o dos descobrimentos etc‚Ķ
               Viver, sinto um sofrer que me impede de ver, gostava de ser real com conduta sempre leal mas como um triste palha√ßo sou falso o sorriso, a alegria do interior, n√£o obedece ao exterior. Sinto um flutuar que me faz sair do lugar normal, viajar e ficar num ponto onde se dista da pr√≥pria vista. Sinto um passo largo abismal, fen√≥meno antinatural, por√©m como selv√°tico animal sinto a ferocidade e com velocidade, arranco estrangulo e mato como se uma for√ßa inata predestinasse ao falhan√ßo no momento. Numa viagem, sem tra√ßo fica a imagem do revoltoso, odioso e deveras pecaminoso, eis uma jura no c√©u √† temperatura da altura, floresce e cresce esse √≠mpeto violento n√£o passa de um mau momento toda a ferocidade culminada e aprimorada vesti-me de palha√ßo e com um bon√© da itn ‚Äď informar Portugal no caf√© Venezuela. Vou aos CTT levantar uma carta do tribunal, digo √† funcion√°ria que devido √† minha doen√ßa n√£o consigo assinar, fa√ßo a minha impress√£o digital, ou seja fiquei sem escrever. Em Coimbra, no hospital √† semelhan√ßa de um hotel encontro um papel cart√£o para por nos man√≠pulos das portas, que dizia : n√£o incomode ! N√£o se incomode e andei com ele no pulso pelo per√≠metro do hospital dou comigo a apanhar folhas na √°rvore, de folhas e p√≥len fa√ßo cigarros com as mortalhas pedidas ao Tom√°s alcunha o ‚Äúp√°ra-quedista‚ÄĚ.
               Sa√≠ do hospital passado uma semana sou levado para o hospital novamente com a hist√≥ria da avalia√ß√£o psiqui√°trica sob o comando da GNR de ovar - em Coimbra ponho numa exposi√ß√£o de uma cadeira de conten√ß√£o com a constitui√ß√£o oferecida pela assembleia da rep√ļblica e abro na parte de defesa na aus√™ncia de autoridades. Acendo e apago a luz dizendo o poder da luz apagando os interruptores do hospital de Coimbra, compro a super interessante e vem um grande tema abordado sobre as origens do diabo ‚Äúhashashin / vulto‚ÄĚ. Como a ala psiqui√°trica √© mista cheguei a ter sexo oral com uma paciente no wc dos homens e no quarto. Estava no hospital de Aveiro e respirava pela janela aberta 5 cm. E s√≥ queria respirar o ar que soprava e via o jardim e pessoas a correr e a disfrutar e s√≥ queria respirar... Sentir a liberdade

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Continuação do ser: modo de vida

Relatos verídicos de
Nelson br√°s pereira

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


    Aquele que est√° proclamado, pelo qual est√° destinado... Modo de vida, ou seja √© tudo aquilo que herdamos dos nossos antepassados, depois temos a miss√£o, de procriar quando chegamos √† idade adulta, aquela que √© proclamada pelas leis da sociedade, onde se vive em democracia.
Isto é, tudo o que conseguirmos adquirir, o conhecimento, ou seja, tudo o que procuramos quando sabemos o que construímos.
Por quê?
Porque quando lidamos na sociedade em que estamos inseridos pela força da razão, temos sempre que viver de forma a ser um ser aceitável para que sejamos vistos pela sociedade em si como um senhor, não podemos é ser maldosos, apenas mais dignos que podemos ser; é para isso que vivemos, também sabemos que tem haver entre ajuda.
Por quê?
Porque somos seres para nos servirmos uns dos outros, por isso é que existe o problema adquirido, para falar a verdade quando os males me são maiores.
Por quê?
Porque podemos ser um ser social, mas podemos viver um ser selvagem.
Quando n√£o somos vencidos por seres iguais.
Mas existe sempre e existir√° a d√ļvida, a desconfian√ßa que sempre nos persegue, pela qual somos ensinados, pela qual nos √© ensinada e √© por a√≠ que caminhamos enquanto temos a certeza de que realmente confiamos, ent√£o servimo-nos bem porque praticamos o bem.
Queremos agradar a todos os leitores que possam ler livros, estes meus livros, que podem encontrar em qualquer livraria onde se possam fascinar dos temas que queiram ouvir e ler no vosso deitar.
Ser√° uma boa companhia, jamais ir√£o ler e ver estes relatos t√£o verdadeiros.
Como os que sentem que dar da verdadeira experiência de quem já errou, mas soube-me curar de todos os males que me perseguiram.
Qual será o tema desta edição?
Relatos voadores, talvez seja um tema que n√£o ser√° muito chocante, n√£o queremos chocar os leitores, mas os relatos s√£o verdadeiros e s√£o relatados de uma forma que foi vivida de uma forma legal.
Porque tive uma vivência dentro da lei, o crer, imaginamos mil e uma coisas, sentimos na pele o verdadeiro sentir do instinto animal.
Queremos ganhar à força, e sentimo-nos com tal.

Fora da lei, aquele ser que todos nós aprendemos que nos pode encontrar e o peso disso vem a forma que fomos habituados a conviver, porque apesar de todo o mal que possamos fazer, nunca se poderá considerar como mal.
Eu penso que existirá em cada ser uma reencarnação.
Ambição de querer viver, queremos é viver de uma forma que achamos fácil, mas que não é fácil e torna-se difícil, quando caímos nas barras da lei e, quando não temos dinheiro para pagar a bons advogados, pagamos um preço mais caro.
Por quê?
Se não cairmos na graça, também não podemos ser engraçados.
Esta é a minha história, o relato da história de um jovem, filho de pai português, mas nascido em áfrica, fui criado na pontinha, após uma separação do meu pai com a minha mãe.
A partir daí começou a minha verdadeira vida de querer viver fácil e como já mencionei atrás, o fácil pode-se tornar difícil.
Por quê?
 Porque acreditei sempre que a lei nos favorece quando mostramos arrependimento.
Mas quando os fatos são provados a 100%, faça a lei, que se rege pelos tribunais, onde o crime só poderá verdadeiramente ser provado, que realmente tal aconteceu, isso à parte de vários fatores, que se calhar iriam baralhar o leitor.
Por quê?
Porque seriam difíceis de passar ao leitor o verdadeiro sentido da dor de não sermos perdoados e termos oportunidade de provar de cometer um crime e sentirmos o mal que estamos a praticar.
Quando somos abandonados pela sociedade e somos aquele olhar do bairro, que todos gostam de olhar.
Por quê?
Tem um olhar de procurar, isso advém das capacidades individuais. Porque nascemos sempre com uma herança de progredir na vida, para podermos ensinar também e transmitir uma experiência de vida amarga, e ainda estou a pagar por isso!
Nasci em √°frica, tinha tr√™s irm√£s: a elvira, a c√Ęndida e a s√£o. T√° a√≠ um bom come√ßo, de uma hist√≥ria que podia ser uma hist√≥ria brilhante, mas aconteceu por ser uma hist√≥ria menos boa da vida.
Não senti muita maldade dos homens que exercem essa função, os chamados guardas prisionais, sempre os julguei inimigos por não ter que querer aceitar que realmente me podia ter safo naquele julgamento.
Cometi v√°rios crimes ao longo do meu percurso enquanto andei na vida.
Utilizava esse termo que era na gíria, com quem lidávamos, era uma forma de gíria, ou podemos também o termo orientado.
Eram os locais que procur√°vamos e pela forma de vida que lev√°vamos sempre foram o cais, em que n√£o existia viol√™ncia ou que n√£o era encontrada viol√™ncia de forma tentadora ou provocadora, porque realmente nos sentimos bons naquilo que fazemos. N√£o √© bem visto aos olhos da sociedade, porque nenhuma sociedade aceita, que os outros possam viver do crime, se n√£o for encarado como uma necessidade de consumo de subst√Ęncias que possam parecer terrivelmente m√°s, mas elas existem.

E como tal todos nós temos os vícios, mas como tal levamos sempre a mal quando não gostamos de uma coisa que nos foi sempre imperceptível, como mal, mas isso tem uma grande visão dos locais onde todos nós somos criados, são os nossos meios e a convivência faz a nossa formação de querermos e termos a ambição de viver bem e sermos melhor do que o outro.
Existiriam muitas picardias como os putos da minha criação, mas no meio desses putos existia uma rapariga, sempre gostei dela, desde que a conheci, fazia anos no mesmo dia que eu.
Como sempre gostei dela, desde o dia em que a conheci, sempre gostei dela, ela convivia muito comigo e convivia muito com as minhas irmãs, tinha uma relação muito dela, não foi amor à primeira vista, acredito e acreditaria de que nunca existirá mulher como amei aquela, a primeira vez que a beijei, senti-me o verdadeiro leão, todos nós gostamos de nos ver na savana.
Aquele que tem o direito de uma vida igual a todos os homens de ter uma mulher e constituir família.
Mesmo ela aceitando o modo de vida que tenho vivido e este amor só existe uma vez na vida, não me sinto o sábio, nem nunca me considerei como tal, mas conheci-os a todos, estavam integrados de uma forma ou de outra, todos nós temos de ligar, paguei uma factura grande mas isto tudo porque queria ter uma vida boa.
Era bom naquilo que fazia, comecei a fazer assaltos, comecei nos roubos mais simples, fiz alguns de mão armada. Mas depois degradei-me com o consumo excessivo da cocaína, sentia-me bem em fumar e não a queria deixar.
Levava-me a delirar, mas nunca agredi ninguém nos meus assaltos, se não houvesse reação, não teria necessidade de utilizar a violência, teria sempre que atenuar nas barras do tribunal.
Eu sei que quem anda à chuva molha-se, simplesmente pretendia obter o dinheiro ou obter os valores que traziam.
Variava de locais, como cresci na pontinha, lisboa foi sempre divertida para mim, encarava esta cidade como já tive oportunidade de ler livros de história, de cidade de valor histórico e cultural.
Eu via a progressão de ter uma vida boa, de poder viver uma vida encordeirada, como tal, ou seja, apenas queria o dinheiro, sabia que estava bem, só queria o dinheiro e sentia-me mal nesses atos, apenas pretendia era satisfazer o meu vício e sentir-me social, no meio social, para estar bem com as pessoas e sentir-me normal, normal no meio do convívio, na relação com as pessoas.
Sentia-me dominador, julgava-me o leão da juba na conquista do seu território e domínio de vida. Foi assim que encarei a vida de ter uma mulher! Ora bem... Encarei este modo de vida de uma forma positiva no mal que poderia fazer às pessoas, nunca prejudiquei alguém numa forma de arruinar os outros de uma forma brutal e deixá-los sem nada.
Apenas aproveitava a circunst√Ęncia do momento e apenas o fazia por dinheiro, para a obten√ß√£o r√°pida para fumar coca√≠na, mas prolonguei sempre o que era inevit√°vel, que √© aquilo que n√£o nasce com um homem, ou at√© talvez possamos herdar, que a causa que estudar como √© o homem que bebe √°lcool e fuma droga reage na procria√ß√£o dos genes na hereditariedade que √© deixada pela consequ√™ncia da fecunda√ß√£o.
N√£o sou o ‚Äúexpert‚ÄĚ nessa mat√©ria para poder decifrar tudo isto e poder transmitir ao leitor esta par√°bola, do tipo falar dela porque tive que falar dela, s√£o modos de vida. Por vezes s√£o encarados bem, por outra s√£o encarados mal.
Por quê?
Porque o modo de vida que a gente aprendeu como j√° mais acima referenciei, nem sempre se pode actuar com maldade, h√° que ser perdoado, para ser bem aclamado!
Por quê?
Porque n√≥s vivemos disto, dos padr√Ķes, vivemos do sentimento e o sentimento comanda a vida, √© uma forma de ambi√ß√£o de se poder ter uma boa vida.
A relação começou, tinha eu 22 anos, estava ingressado no exército, mas não queria ir, mas a lei estava dita assim. E foi aí que tive a verdadeira relação, a paixão que jamais terei igual à cristina, e aqui começou a relação que todos nós ambicionamos, todos nós queremos encontrar a nossa verdadeira cara-metade.
Vivia de forma intensa, sentia-me que se ela estivesse longe de mim não me sentia bem, e foi aí que se calhar ela aproveitou de ter mais um pouco de poder sobre mim.
Adorava a rapariga, tinha ci√ļme, mas n√£o era ci√ļme doentio, era um ci√ļme saud√°vel e nesse ci√ļme n√£o existia uma verdadeira maldade doentia que me pudesse levar a obrigar algu√©m a ficar comigo por imposi√ß√£o minha.
Por quê?
Julgava-me s√≥ e se a perdesse iria perder a mulher da minha vida, mas aconteceu. Eu queria ir ao bairro alto e ela ir a uma discoteca no campo pequeno, discutimos e foi a√≠ que acabamos, talvez n√£o fosse a vontade dela, o irm√£o mais velho nunca aceitou bem a rela√ß√£o. Tive uma briga com ele, mas foi antes de come√ßar a amar a tina, mas passou foi um momento da circunst√Ęncia, mas eu gostava dele, mas ele n√£o aceitava o meu modo de vida, nunca mo disse, mas tamb√©m nunca demonstrou que estava do meu lado, sabendo que eu estava do bem.
N√£o prejudicava muito, mas ele n√£o aceitava a minha rela√ß√£o com a irm√£ dele. Ele apenas convivia comigo pela circunst√Ęncia do contexto, viv√≠amos no mesmo bairro por isso mant√≠nhamos aquela rela√ß√£o, aquela da nossa cria√ß√£o.
A mãe dela era oriunda de nelas, dona conceição, o pai não sei, mas era bom senhor, o raul.
Aprendeu a viver só às custas da mulher, chegamos uma altura no bairro a proclamá-lo fiscal do bairro, era uma criança, mas já tinha noção do tempo, já andava a estudar.
E foi dessa altura que depressa vi, apesar da pequena idade que tinha, que tinha que lutar pela vida e pelo que tinha: pai, mãe, casa, não me faltou comida, nem nunca me faltou. Porque apesar do baixo ordenado que a minha mãe recebia, eram 11 contos que pagava de renda e aí está o meu pai só pagava a renda, aí está, mas nunca faltou comida.
Por isso, foi o princípio do fim, ou seja, o afastamento pode levar ao esquecimento, penso que foi aquele que me foi deixado na aprendizagem, ao perder o meu pai tive que reagir de igual forma como ele.
Eu olhava para ele como um herói, um homem lutador filho de gente humilde, a avó, elvira, foi com a qual eu vivi até os 6 anos de idade, até entrar para a escola, o que acontece... Habituei-me à minha avó, estava a formar-me, independente do acompanhamento direto do meu pai, mas na altura ainda não tinha os olhos bem abertos, mas tinha a noção do tempo.
Tinha a noção do momento.
São dos relatos mais puros que podem existir no mundo. Por quê?
Hoje em dia qualquer um pode vir à baila pelo seu modo de vida independentemente do cargo que exerce ou de hierarquia social.
Por isso parte daí, a noção de que realmente ninguém pode ser acusado de nada sem prova concreta, ou seja de forma concreta.
Por quê?
Assim regem-se as leis e todos nós temos acesso, devemos não matar, roubar e violar.
Mas podemos recuar aos primórdios da humanidade e tais acontecimentos se sucediam, porque a história baseia-se nisso.
Somos a continuidade, aquela continuidade que vai ser sempre contínua, aquela que está destinada.
E é a certeza absoluta de que vivemos por uma causa, não somos a continuação de permanecer e existir na terra.
Não sei, poderia variar o tema, mas poderia atrapalhar a leitura do leitor, poderia desviar a atenção da verdadeira história que aconteceu.
Mas isto s√£o par√°bolas que durante o livro inteiro v√£o sempre existir porque vamos especificar melhor e fazer compreender as situa√ß√Ķes que foram vividas.
Por quê?
Para que se possa ver que foi tudo dentro de uma sociedade onde existiram sempre vidas saudáveis e compreensão, parte da sociedade porque aos olhos dos outros podemos até ser judas, mas há uma coisa muito importante na vida, aquilo que a gente semeia é o fruto que vamos colher.
Mas em frente, tem de ser bem tratado, para que seja o exemplar, o meu pai sempre me viu e queria ver como um rei, mas eu sou o rei, o guerreiro que nem sempre pode ganhar e comecei muito novo.
Quando referi que o fácil não é fácil, mas difícil, foi aí que eu apelidei a caça.
Depois de ter agredido com um estalo na cara aquilo que eu senti foi que a tinha perdido, senti mesmo nos olhos, mais tarde ela tentou reatar comigo, mas eu não aceitei e foi aí que começou a verdadeira história do crime, mas já tinha antecedentes, já estava separado quando cumpri seis meses no presídio militar em santarém, era o estabelecimento prisional militar.
Na altura foi condenado o arnaldo, ou seja a história desse indivíduo enquadra-se no meu caminho no meio prisional, no prolongamento do livro o leitor vai compreender o verdadeiro meio social, neste caso prisional, cumpri seis meses foi dado o perdão pelo papa.
Foi tudo investir para que eu pudesse levar uma vida boa, já me tinha separado da tina. E o que é que eu fiz? Tentei a sorte.
Ainda cheguei a trabalhar no metro da pontinha como servente de carpinteiro. Os negros temiam-me, trabalhei com negros de cabo-verde, boa gente que queriam uma vida melhor que não tinham no país de origem.
Procuravam portugal para ter uma vida melhor, no país deles não conseguiam ter por isso a procura que os levou a imigrar do próprio país.
Foi mais f√°cil procurar portugal pela proximidade.
Comecei a sentir a proximidade dos cabo-verdianos, de conviver com eles, cabo-verdiano era apelidado de mau porque tiveram de combater a desigualdade e quando chegavam aqui a portugal eram seres que não eram bem aceites, pois tinha-se passado a guerra do ultramar e nessa altura ainda era puto, era um chavalito, estava a despertar e foi que comecei aquilo que ninguém quer de um filho, comecei a vaguear, nunca fui vadiador, fui um vagueador.
Já tinha o domínio da experiência que tinha do passado, vi a separação dos meus pais com 8 anos, já andava a estudar, e como tal já sabia que aquilo não me iria cair muito bem, senti o afastamento do homem que tinha como um herói.
Ao ver isso perdido, mesmo em tenra idade percebi que teria de ajudar a minha m√£e, mas eu amava verdadeiramente o meu pai.
Todos os ver√Ķes ia passar com ele at√© os 17 anos ainda prossegui mais tarde quando estava no ex√©rcito, mas depois come√ßou o afastamento aquele que √© natural.
Na altura ele encontrava-se na figueira da foz na escola prática de serviço de transporte onde eu passava as férias com ele.
O meu pai era um homem duro, teve uma inf√Ęncia dura, perdeu o pai com14 anos era a ambi√ß√£o da minha av√≥ crescer na vida, ter mais apoios e ter mais dinheiro.
O meu pai relatou que a despedida dele foi amorosa, foi de quem gostava porque foi uma despedida apressada, desde da despedida, jamais voltaria a ver o seu pai, mas cresceu arduamente a ajudar a m√£e, foi o filho que mais tempo viveu em casa da m√£e.
Vivi 6 anos com a minha avó, mas como era duro, tinha vindo de baixo cresceu arduamente, nunca deixou os filhos passarem fome.
Na altura ele era mineiro. Procurava negócios de minério, mas não vingou por aí, foi ciclista também, na altura ingressou no exército e prosseguiu a carreira aí.
Tornou-se num homem normal, ingressou ali pela necessidade da vida, pois assegurou aquilo que todos nós temos de assegurar, uma auto-suficiência.
Isso aconteceu, como ele era um homem duro, amigo do amigo, amigo dos filhos, mas n√£o era de muitas palavras, mas era respeitador e honesto.
Foi isso que ele sempre me quis deixar, mas foi, lá está, foi a separação, afastei-me um bocado, não prossegui com um acompanhamento mais aprofundado da maneira de estar e do modo de vida, de dificuldades de ultrapassar e o obstáculo da vida assegurou um posto de trabalho para assegurar o futuro para poder procriar, são todos bons filhos, somos dignos de sermos filhos dele, mas também em houve falta de compreensão e lealdade da minha parte, tornei-me no ser malandro como tinha dito.
A chicotada psicológica da sensação só me veio agravar, porque nunca mais consegui ver que o bem é para ser praticado, mas como só recebia o mal pela separação só me tinha no pensamento o mal.
E foi assim que tudo se passou até ao ato da condenação. Começou por onde?
Já tinha passado a separação, foi quando comecei a ingressar pela solidão, mas era o meu modo de vida já tinha do passado e ali sentia-me salvo da preocupação da desilusão que tinha sentida, mas ali jurei, estás-me a deixar, nunca mais me vou dar.
Prossegui o meu modo de vida era consumir e roubar e foi aí que ainda a procurei e procurei-a várias vezes e foi aí que ela voltou a querer-me aceitar, não sei fizeste-me sofrer, não vou querer voltar a ter esse sentimento, foi doloroso, mas tive sempre de viver e ainda a tenho.
Continuo a tê-la no meu pensamento foi por isso que eu vivi tantos anos na cadeia sempre com o pensamento nela sempre a tive presente no meu ser por isso tenho tanta estima por esta paixão, não vivi outra igual.
Linh√≥, ap√≥s tr√™s meses de preventivo ingressei no linh√≥ cadeia de condenados, a minha hist√≥ria a√≠ come√ßa pela bravura de um ser restrito pela bravura, pelo que no qual temos de lidar com o mundo alheio, o que acontece √© o seguinte, como eu sabia que o caminho podia ser muito longo em clausura, virei para a selva gerir, era o modo mais f√°cil de lidar, com quem comete crimes e est√° dentro da cadeia √© um mundo, em que impera a lei da burrice, e quando a gente lida com burros temos de saber lidar com eles, mas se formos demasiados espertos podemos cair, por isso a vida a√≠ a vida tem de ser levada nem tanto √† terra nem tanto ao mar, foi essa a minha salva√ß√£o, foi esse m√©todo que optei que me fez vencer, mas o meu come√ßo vai ser longo e foi um come√ßo atribulado porque vi-me sem mulher, sem liberdade vi-me preso, perdido e era novo, pensei em tudo o que poderia ter de ser nos anos que poderia passar ali. Ent√£o, o que √© que eu fiz? Comecei ent√£o por ganhar respeito, n√£o √© f√°cil, mesmo n√£o querendo entrar em conflitos de viol√™ncia, eles acontecem porque passam por uma rotina que depois mais tarde vim a perceber, a rotina que depois de a ver tive nojo de viver, nunca pensei que seres humanos pudessem fazer tanto mal uns aos outros pelo fato de uns venderem droga, outros serem consumidores porque a vida dentro da cadeia o que gira em torno do monop√≥lio √© a droga pois foi assim que eu comecei a fumar hero√≠na, como j√° tinha entrado na cadeia pelo consumo excessivo da coca√≠na, decidi come√ßar hero√≠na, mas de uma forma de brincadeira, olha vou fumar hero√≠na, mas quando dei por mim estava agarrado j√° n√£o podia fazer nada, mas aprendi a fazer, mas isso ser√° relatado mais tarde, ent√£o o come√ßo foi este ter uma vida na cadeia obstante da realidade que foge aos prazeres, apenas me resignei ao consumo de hero√≠na por saber que me ia abstrair da ideia de ter sexo, estava alimentado por um qu√≠mico que n√£o me deixava pensar em tal. Tive amores plat√īnicos como √© leg√≠timo e consegui grandes amores, mas √© uma coisa que √© garantida, mas n√£o basta s√≥ experimentar, n√£o basta s√≥ querer fumar, h√° sempre o aspecto de queremos ser l√≠deres de vermos os outros de uma hierarquia a comandarem aquilo que tu sabes que n√£o d√°, √© doloroso, √© duro de roer, decidi n√£o ter pena de ningu√©m, porque tamb√©m estava ali, estava a pagar uma d√≠vida da justi√ßa, mas o meu percurso foi muito mau, se tivesse aprendido esta li√ß√£o mais cedo teria vencido e n√£o tinha perdido porque sa√≠ria no meio da pena, mas a minha imagem estava queimada, estava bastante referenciado, h√° um relato da minha passagem por estes anos de cadeia, foi o princ√≠pio do fim um princ√≠pio duro, pelo qual n√£o me posso arrepender pelos anos que fumei a tal droga, ajudou-me a libertar uma necessidade grande que todos n√≥s sentimos, √© l√≥gico termos um prazer, termos liberdade de poder caminhar a ser belo gosto, nestes anos todos tive amores tamb√©m que constru√≠ l√° dentro, mas isso ficar√° para mais tarde, agora vou falar do percurso que √© longo, n√£o sei como todos come√ßam pela entrada quando s√£o condenados que √© procurar um bem estar, mesmo dentro da vida em clausura, mas isso √© tudo subjetivo, porque no nosso bem-estar pode n√£o agradar a quem nos olha, pode desagradar em v√°rios pontos, primeiro pode ser roubado, segundo pode virar escravo, trabalho, terceiro pode virar ama ou dona de casa a dia, existe muita variedade de homens dentro da cadeia que nem sempre se pode saber o que vai dentro da alma ou que cada um gosta, muitos escolhem o bem para n√£o serem prejudicados, mas al√©m disso tudo h√° um ponto mais importante ainda, jamais, jamais se pode comprar uma amizade, mesmo sendo ela paga dentro da cadeia, o confronto √© muito duro dentro da cadeia, h√° quem n√£o tenha nada, o confronto dentro da cadeia √© frouxo, frouxo por um lado e √© forte no seu todo, daria mil milh√Ķes ou o que tivesse de dar para voltar atr√°s, para me safar, mas quis caminhar assim, quis caminhar da forma dura, foi a forma que eu sempre demorei a entender, o meu lado foi sempre mais psicol√≥gico.
Foi a partir de aí nunca mais encontrei o caminho do bem dentro da cadeia, não acreditava no bem, só via o mal. Por quê? Porque sentia-me revoltado comigo mesmo, porque aos olhos dos outros não passava de uma piranha, piranha é um termo da gíria que nós utilizávamos, que significa mandrião, aquele que não se quer dedicar a nenhuma causa a não ser aquilo que está resignado a fazer, prossegue sempre o caminho aquele que dá sempre no divino, o poder vem daí, da crença da esperança e da fé, e sempre transportei dentro comigo, vi homicídios aí dentro.
Mas como eu me estava a marimbar para isso, e deixaram- me viver, nunca me tentaram prejudicar, a verdade seja dita, e foi exatamente assim que tudo isso começou, eu era muito instável, imprevisível, e a diretora da escola incentiva-me a continuar os estudos, mas isso concluí, só que nem todos a estudar, tinham apoio familiar, apoio garantido.
Esse existe sempre quando é assegurado com uma forma legal de viver e poder reivindicar o que esteja mal, por isso é que se chama apoio garantido, dentro da lei são aqueles que nos dão o mal quando somos empurrados e sermos derrotados pelo sistema, porque por não termos dinheiro somos empurrados para um sistema onde se houver dinheiro tudo corre muito bem, a justiça funciona, porque se não houver já era.
Por mais que acreditem em ti, nada podem fazer para mudar porque s√£o funcion√°rios, e eles apenas t√™m de comunicar n√£o podem atuar, sem os requisitos que s√£o estipulados pela justi√ßa, havendo uma den√ļncia a uma abertura de inqu√©rito, mas se eles fossem abrir um inqu√©rito eu estava sempre safo porque sabia andar no movimento dentro da cadeia, conhecia os guardas corruptos, aqueles que transportavam droga para a cadeia, alguns safaram-se outros foram parar na cadeia.
Alguns deles desses bófias que foram presos já os conhecia, sobressaí e tive um episódio com um deles o alfredo, era um homem da noite, o rei da noite, explorador de casa de alterne esse é o verdadeiro rei da máfia, esse merece uma vida melhor foi polícia ex-goe só que enveredou pelo caminho do crime faço muito gosto em mencioná-lo no meu livro porque aprendi algumas coisas com ele, apesar de ele ter sido bófia e ter tido um episódio menos positivo na minha vida com ele, eles tentaram matar-me no estabelecimento prisional do linhó, só que na altura já era um veterano, tinha cinco anos cumpridos aí. Conhecia toda agente, e todas me conheciam e esse episódio caiu mal à cadeia inteira, relacionado com os reclusos, pois eu era um incentivo para todos eles, era o exemplo que eles viam em mim, de assegura uma continuidade dentro da clausura porque tínhamos que estar ali, e quando referi mais acima que os cabo-verdianos iriam ser a minha união, não me enganei, foram, aliás, eles quiseram desforrar aquele episódio, tentaram-me matar, fui convidado para ser o homem à cabeça, mas não me quis valer da união de ninguém apenas lhe fiz ver que se eu quisesse ele estaria morto.
Mas por ironia do destino nada disso aconteceu agrediram- no somente, não o mataram ele redimiu-se e tentou reforçar a minha amizade com ele, mas ele sabia dentro dele que jamais esqueceria esse episódio, só o perdoei pelo fato de ele ter a humildade e ter sido enganado por aquilo que falavam de mim, não por parte dos presos, mas pelo serviço de guardas prisionais, e direção, pois ele sabia que não me podia derrotar, pagaria o preço antecipado da morte, então assim foi deixei-o andar e quando percebi que ele estava humilde aprendi a respeitá-lo e a aceitar, pois ele não estaria vivo se eu não o quisesse, mas não valia, apenas era um preço elevado para se pagar, fui criticado pelos presos comuns que odiavam os bófias, fui achincalhado.
- nelson como tu aceitas esse gajo?

 

Aceitei-o porque ele al√©m de tudo ele era um profissional, ganhou inimigos poderosos no meio em que viveu, sendo b√≥fia, tinha muitos conhecimentos, conhecia gente de topo e que conhecia gente poderosa que poderia ajudar, amea√ßara-me para deixar de falar com esse indiv√≠duo ou ent√£o deixariam de ter o nosso respeito e eles o nosso, mas eu deixei-o viver, era um era um dos nossos, os cabo- verdianos que eu mencionei eram o nelson e carlos, viviam exatamente na zona em que cresci eram eles o ombro amigo para me desforrar e os desabafos vieram depois, e eles queriam ver massacrado esse tal indiv√≠duo, mas eu deixei deixei-o andar, n√£o pretendo nada desse indiv√≠duo, apesar de tudo nada tenho contra ele, e a hist√≥ria desses irm√£os os carlos, foi abatido a tiro por uma agente da psp, ele estava referenciado, estava muito batido, jogava xadrez comigo, ele era um ‚Äúexpert‚ÄĚ na mat√©ria, s√≥ sabia jogar a dinheiro, eu sempre lhe disse, n√£o vale a pena, jogamos por amor √† camisola, mas nessa altura j√° estava bem, andava a ser patrocinado pelo manuel e o rom√£o e pelo badona, lid√°vamos como irm√£os, havia entreajuda, havia tudo entre n√≥s, no meio onde o crime espreita a qualquer segundo ao mil√©simo de segundo, existe muita coisa e por vezes podemos ser apanhados no meio e depois de termos feito isso, decidi prosseguir o meu caminho, fiz muitas escoltas dentro da cadeia, ou seja, assegurei o bem estar de alguns, e para ganhar o meu, ou seja, uma m√£o lava a outra.
Era o lema, o lema de entreajuda, mas havia sempre o risco de nos metermos numa situação caso fossemos chamados para isso, aconteceu um homicídio no linhó, nunca pus isso em causa foram dias bons e de prazer porque eu até andava decidido para isso, não consegui fazer, pensei sempre em mim, nunca pensei nos outros.
Foi tudo muito rápido até à minha transferência para o vale dos judeus após oito anos cumpridos no linhó, eles nunca me quiseram e me aceitaram bem, queriam-me prejudicar, mas respeitavam-me, esperaram sempre pelo meu descuido, coisa que nunca lhes dei. Existiu uma mulher que era funcionária no setor jurídico, ela gostava de mim e perdoei-a, mas a esta perdoei com gosto, no dia em que me montaram a armadilha foi exatamente na altura em que eu estava mais poderoso que nunca, nunca conversei muito com eles com os bófias, era um perigo, eu andava disposto a tudo.
Independentemente do mal, do mal que pudesse-me vir a acontecer pelo fato de, ter levado uma educa√ß√£o baseada no futuro e com ela poder viver, √© um fator forte sermos assim, e estarmos habituados e levarmos o ensinamento que a vida √© assim, vivemos para morrer apenas fazemos levar, mas quando fui transferido para vale de judeus, mas tudo isso ficou para tr√°s come√ßou um novo ciclo era este o meu modo de vida e o modo de pensar n√£o permitir qualquer tipo de abuso, tinha o meu car√°cter, fervia em pouca √°gua, e, quando cheguei a vale de judeus, decidi tomar um novo rumo, queria-me livrar dos pesadelos do passado, embora eu os tivesse, do passado, realmente n√£o os tinha era uma forma simples de dizer, o que l√° vai l√°, mas n√£o √© bem assim, o que l√° vai, l√° vai; s√≥ se deixar ir, deixar-se embalar na fantasia de que realmente somos um ser dominador e passamos o dono de toda a gal√°xia, isto √©, tudo disfuncional e est√° tudo preparado para isso, porque s√£o entidades empregadoras e n√£o controlam os funcion√°rios das suas aventuras de roubar e poder dizer que est√° legalizado, √© uma forma de enganar, um dos momentos que mais me glorifico no linh√≥ foi a minha conquista porque al√©m de assegurar o meu nome na pra√ßa. Tinha mais uma coisa, era o momento do tudo, ou nada sem escape de vencer, ou morrer, era o lema que tinha dentro de mim, a for√ßa de viver e poder gozar o que n√£o tive enquanto estive enclausurado, nunca usei viol√™ncia gratuita para os meus companheiros cheguei quase a chorar l√°grimas, da maldade que eu via de ser exercida pelo outros companheiros que eram dominados pela viol√™ncia e eram se calhar obrigados a fazer tudo aquilo que os traficantes queriam, mas eu n√£o enveredei por um caminho mais duro, embora me tivesse agarrado √† hero√≠na, jurei a mim mesmo que para viver dentro da cadeia estar disposto a matar e a viver de uma forma digna para que n√£o me pudessem chatear ao fim, ao cabo s√£o tudo adversidades do momento s√£o aquelas com que tudo temos para lidar, embora n√£o fosse o meu desejo, criar inimigos onde n√£o existem e andar mal comigo mesmo, houve quem me tentasse prejudicar, a dire√ß√£o n√£o gostava de mim, ent√£o foi a√≠ que fizeram, mandaram os informadores deles estarem presentes em todos os momentos em que estivesse aberto, para se puderem informar melhor, de tudo aquilo que eu pudesse vir a fazer, eles tinham a consci√™ncia pesada, mas uma coisa despertou-me a aten√ß√£o e fez-me mudar, basieie-me muito nas professoras que tive, senti amor plat√īnico por algumas, e foi nessa altura que estava a correr bem, mas o barco depois virou, agarraram em mim e puseram-me em vale de judeus, foi dif√≠cil ap√≥s de oito anos de reclus√£o no linh√≥, deixei uma hist√≥ria vasta a n√≠vel prisional, porque os conhecia a todos e eles conheciam-me e foi por isso que nunca me quiseram castigar a cem por cento, fui muitas vezes punido com castigos disciplinares, uns por agress√£o e outros por agress√£o verbal aos guardas e foi assim que eu me apercebi que realmente estava a lidar com uma m√°fia mais poderosa do que eu, mas que na realidade n√£o eram mais do que eu, apenas tinham os livros e o diploma, que faziam um ser diferente de mim, porque depois j√° eram, jogava muito a vez √† bola, para minha divers√£o, ali√°s jogava tudo o que havia para jogar, joguei o trunfo mais alto que alguma vez se pode jogar, √°s de espadas, houve quem me dissesse que podia perceber que teria azar com essa carta, e diziam-me que poderia ter azar com essa carta, os tempos mudam e foi a√≠ que comecei a perceber que a vida n√£o √© dentro da cadeia, mas fora, mas nunca quis interiorizar, mas sabia que esse era o meu ponto forte; come√ßou uma hist√≥ria dram√°tica ia acabando em homic√≠dio, eram tr√™s irm√£os e eles todos consumiam hero√≠na e a hero√≠na para eles era a necessidade do momento, ou seja, eram dependentes daquilo, eram toxicodependentes.
Mas no fundo, eram pessoas humildes, tinham bom coração, porque eles necessitavam de serem ajudados porque eles na vida que levavam e eu também levei, era uma vida dura, podemos até dizer que era uma escravidão, pelo modo como a vida era feita, todos os dias tínhamos que fumar senão íamos ressacar.

Mas tudo isso é o resultado de um modo de vida, aquele que move a causa pois até cheguei a fazer poesias em relação à vivência e ao contexto da situação, todos eles me pediam um poema, fosse para escrever à namorada, fosse como fosse eles pediam sempre um poema, mas eu perdi-me e foi na altura do consumo que adotei este modo de vida, eu sei aquilo que sei e não estou disposto a ensinar ninguém porque tinha experiência para isso do passado, tornou-me num herói de alguém que teve no lixo e conseguiu-se levantar.
Tudo foi resumido a isso, pela forma de experiência, pela forma de viver, pela forma que tínhamos de obter a droga para fumar, pois se tivesse oferecida e dada não iria comprar, tornei-me a bem dizer um chulo dos traficantes, para venderem, tinham que me assegurar a minha ressaca diária, com pó para eu fumar, foi então que tornei-me um chulo dos traficantes, fui apelidado por isso, todos eles me quiseram ajudar, davam-me droga para vender e eu consumia, tive o maior lazer que algum toxicodependente possa ter, estar viciado e droga para fumar.
Mas eu era conhecido pelo meu desportivismo, pela minha pratica nos treinos, pois treinava todos os dias e isso baralhava as pessoas que me viam e me olhavam eles tinha sempre uma paranóia, a paranóia que já referi neste livro a desconfiança e que é duvidosa, quando praticamos o mal estamos sempre aflitos, será que o mal me irá acontecer.
√Č sempre a previs√£o do inesperado, sinceramente habituei- me a esse modo de vida e foi-me dif√≠cil a integra√ß√£o ap√≥s a pris√£o no meio social, porque √© um meio que a gente sabe, √© um espa√ßo muito pequeno onde a conviv√™ncia di√°ria leva a conhecermo-nos todos uns aos outros, mas fisicamente.
Queremos todos comandar porque achamos no direito querer conquistar um espa√ßo em que nos d√™ seguran√ßa de n√≥s pr√≥prios, para estarmos inseridos num meio em que lidamos sempre com o receio, mas n√£o √© um receio, √© simplesmente assegurarmo-nos, podemos ultrapassar a situa√ß√£o sabendo estar, sabendo conversar, sabendo estar no neg√≥cios mais escuros que se pensa pensar, no mundo das drogas, √© muito vasto, √© de uma imensid√£o e de uma vastid√£o imensa tudo o que se possa pensar quando se fala em criminalidade pelo que tudo o que se possa prever de neg√≥cios em que n√£o servem para lucrar, de uma forma dita correta ou que gente aceit√°vel pela sociedade e aos olhos da lei, a√≠ come√ßa a disputa todos queremos ganhar nem que para isso tenha que inventar, neste caso roubar, traficar, enfim cobran√ßas dif√≠ceis, coisas duras de se fazer, passa tamb√©m por uma explora√ß√£o quando h√° uma depend√™ncia cr√īnica em que os pr√≥prios sabem que n√£o t√™m sa√≠da acobardaram-se bastante ao fator depend√™ncia, s√£o comandados, s√£o subjugados, a extorquir o dinheiro √† fam√≠lia que sentem a dor de ver um filho viciado na hero√≠na e parte do princ√≠pio que tudo o que se possa perder de dignidade humana, ou seja, perder todos os valores da educa√ß√£o que levamos ser algu√©m da vida, vivermos da forma que fomos ensinados a viver porque s√£o esses os valores que somos habituados a cumprir pela ordem social e pelos valores √©ticos, que os nossos pais nos deixaram e que n√≥s iremos proclamar sejam quantos filhos n√≥s iremos gerar, ser√° essa a educa√ß√£o que iremos ensinar √© sempre o prolongamento da vida.
Começa agora a desenrolar o ciclo que a vida nos proporciona, está escrito na bíblia, nascemos para procriar, mas também conseguimos ler na bíblia que caim matou abel, o irmão, mas foi abençoado e perdoado, foi induzido ao erro. Por vezes acontece na vida, sermos induzidos para o erro, o fatal, aquele que está escrito propriamente, porque foi escrito pela vivência e pela forma das leis que viveu e cresceu.
Por quê?
A for√ßa da raz√£o vence sempre, e todos os julgamentos que se possam fazer da vida podem, por vezes, n√£o serem os mais corretos tudo pesa por um fator: a difama√ß√£o, o n√£o ser engra√ßado e n√£o cair em gra√ßa, ser aquele que todos querem desprezar, para humilhar; sentem-se bem assim e quando existe a falta de poder econ√īmico estamos sempre limitados a jogar, porque tamb√©m parte-se que isto √© um jogo, ou seja, h√° quem diga que tem de se saber jogar s√£o ditados populares para que a sorte nos possa bater de nos calhar uma coisa boa, e que a sorte nos possa dar aquilo que a gente procura, o bem-estar, o estar bem consigo mesmo, poder ajudar porque fomos ensinados para isso tamb√©m, partilhamos uma vida em comum com os nossos pais, com os nossos irm√£os, irm√£s, av√≥s e av√īs, pois l√° est√°, √© esta a nossa gera√ß√£o, porque somos a sequ√™ncia do prolongamento deles nos verem seres gerados da sua descend√™ncia, ou seja, sabem que temos a capacidade de nos conhecermos, sabermos que s√£o os nossos e s√£o os nossos que sempre est√£o do nosso lado, mas nunca gostam de olhar, de ter um membro em uma fam√≠lia que n√£o lhes possa agradar, t√™m uma imagem a preservar a vida foi feita assim da progress√£o, da uni√£o, do bem-estar, ningu√©m gosta de ter, nem de ver algu√©m que √© da nossa fam√≠lia ou que algu√©m pr√≥ximo de n√≥s porque ao fim, ao cabo somos todos humanos, temos de lidar uns com os outros e o ambiente familiar, por vezes, quer nos acolher demais, sentem-se donos daquilo que geraram e fazem disso um modo de vida que est√° escrito em todas as leituras teol√≥gicas que se possam ler, ou seja estudo de religi√Ķes.
Todos n√≥s levamos com li√ß√Ķes de moral, √© pr√≥prio, que quem sente uma proximidade t√£o fiel, que tudo fazem em redor de verem o nosso bem , os nossos entes queridos v√™- los bem, der no que der, e nunca querer-lhes mal, perante a imagem que preservam e aquela que lhes foi ensinada, os valores que eles se regeram n√£o lhes permite olhar bem, para uma situa√ß√£o que talvez pudesse ser resolvida n√£o fosse, por vezes, mal-entendida. Isto √©, tudo muito bonito e a comunica√ß√£o social tamb√©m o transmite assim, igual √† fachada vamos mostrar uma imagem bonita, tamb√©m s√£o pressionados por um poder que todos n√≥s aceitamos a governa√ß√£o, tema muito duro, mas que tem a ver com tudo isto que vai ser relatado, existe, existimos, continuaremos a existir, a educa√ß√£o tamb√©m √© dada a estes que se dizem donos da raz√£o e, por vezes, fazem transmitir e querem a desuni√£o, todos eles t√™m em comum uma coisa manter: um bem-estar, um bem-estar que lhes possa proporcionar um dom√≠nio de tudo o que possam ambicionar e quererem o bem-estar para a sociedade, mas todos eles viveram e foram criados com um pai e de uma m√£e, foi-lhes dado as condi√ß√Ķes apropriadas para poderem progredir numa carreira que ambiciona-se, mas tamb√©m falham, mas esquecem sempre e regem-se pela imagem; eu mantive este discurso porque a minha vastid√£o √© enorme nesta vida, aprendi muito, desenvolvi o que tinha a desenvolver embora estivesse estado enclausurado nunca pensei do fim, ambicionei sempre de ter o contato direto com os funcion√°rios dos estabelecimentos onde me encontrava, a minha carreira prisional posso apelid√°-la disto, ser√° melhor interpretada no termos da palavra assim, mas ter√° de ser, de ser interpretada da forma mais honesta e sincera que h√° na vida. Est√° relacionado existem rela√ß√Ķes bilaterais, s√£o rela√ß√Ķes que se regem todas as na√ß√Ķes, s√£o assuntos de interesse comunit√°rio para salvaguardar os bens, para que se possam dar um bem-estar que assim foi institu√≠do no mundo, a liberdade o tema mais duro de falar, poderemos dar toda a nossa liberdade, coisa mais bonita do mundo, √© o maior prazer que se possa ter na vida, √© estar em liberdade, temos √© que saber ultrapassar todos os obst√°culos que a gente tem pela vida afora e os possa encontrar. Existe uma variedade enorme deles, poderei come√ßar pelo principal: o bem social, todos n√≥s temos uma coisa em comum, gostamos de n√≥s pr√≥prios, podemos ser feios, bonitos, n√£o interessa, habituamo-nos √† conviv√™ncia, a apar√™ncia n√£o √© tudo; por vezes, por detr√°s de uma boa apar√™ncia posso encontrar um lado menos bom, mas era o lado de apolo, o lado da beleza, descrito por nietzsche que acompanhei a autobiografia dele, n√£o h√° raz√£o de maior, o lado da beleza √© aquele que nos faz sonhar, que nos faz adorar, traz tudo de bom, mas l√° est√°, o bem caminha lado a lado com o mal, tal como nietzsche descreveu existiu o lado dionis√≠aco, ou seja, o bem e o mal encarnado no instinto do ser humano, quando falamos de todos os seres que existem ao cimo da terra sejam eles quem forem, sejam pol√≠ticos, sejam ju√≠zes, sejam presidentes de c√Ęmara, sejam presidentes de associa√ß√Ķes todos podem ser, apresentadores at√© de televis√£o serem o carisma e terem uma gratid√£o, mas tamb√©m ningu√©m pode ser perdoado, dita propriamente da palavra, perd√£o todos temos uma raz√£o e quando nos s√£o postas as quest√Ķes devemos assumir tudo o que fazemos em prol das ditas leis que regem uma sociedade e que se possa fazer jus √† palavra lei. Foi a√≠ que conseguiram o direito de n√£o serem castigados e serem definidos pela lei porque tudo isto se enquadra, o abuso existe, existiu e existir√° √© o pr√≥logo.
E o pr√≥logo adv√©m da transcend√™ncia, uma aprendizagem do al√©m, vivemos todos porque sabemos que a transcend√™ncia √© mais que o al√©m, √© poder ser, √© poder estar, √© poder ensinar, √© ter tudo, mas h√° uma palavra-chave que designa tudo isto: filosofia, modo de vida, prazer de viver √© isto que comp√Ķe um dos fatores da transcend√™ncia, continuamos a ser e continuamos a viver da forma igual, na evolu√ß√£o do ser o ter sido gerado, o ser abandonado n√£o faz de ningu√©m mal aben√ßoado o bem que n√≥s possamos praticar √© o divino, aquele que aprendemos, √© o nosso destino aprendemos tudo √©-nos deixado uma heran√ßa valores grandiosos, assim eles se enaltecem nas palavras em que escrevem, mas isso √© tudo glorifica√ß√£o de manter o poder e estar na exalta√ß√£o, pois tudo isto podia ser bonito, se realmente fosse tudo cumprido e est√° escrito era muito bom.
Por quê?
Estar√≠amos a entrar no caminho mais vasto da podrid√£o humana, somos os escravos da democracia legalizada, o aproveitamento da situa√ß√£o de estar enclausurado e estar subjugado a regras mais r√≠gidas; por vezes, n√£o reagem da mesma forma que o normal de uma forma apaziguadora, √© chamada a transcend√™ncia do ser, a transforma√ß√£o para o lado mais cruel do ser, foi isso que senti, aprendi por experi√™ncia pr√≥pria que a raiva √© um sustento de viver, para viver e sobreviver √© vista e assim t√° provada pelos valores da ci√™ncia que √© dominada como uma forma segura de se viver quando assim tem de ser, n√£o podemos fugir √† quest√£o, as nossas caracter√≠sticas que nos comp√Ķem s√£o diversas, mas todas adv√™m do mesmo, a mistifica√ß√£o, n√£o existem seres mais perfeitos que ningu√©m, todos sabem viver, para isso precisam dos apoios garantidos e cred√≠veis para todo o ser, trabalhamos em coopera√ß√£o, descontamos para que outros possam ter uma vida melhor, o desemprego, uma causa justa, esta √© uma experi√™ncia que todos voc√™s v√£o partilhar comigo, chamei esta hist√≥ria da continua√ß√£o do ser, ser√° o prolongamento desta edi√ß√£o.
Tudo começou após a separação dos meus pais, fui internado num colégio de freiras de são miguel era o nome do colégio, passava férias com o meu pai era próximo de ali, mas após a separação não encarei uma boa relação com o meu pai, e foi a partir daí que tudo começou, a minha mãe tinha ido morar para a pontinha após a separação, tinha eu cerca de 10 anos, quando cheguei e fui conhecer a pontinha, fugi do colégio, não aceitava aquele modo de vida, mas apanharam-me, era um inocente, sabia que a força da lei existia, o meu pai era militar atrevia-me pelo caminho pelas histórias que o meu pai contava, de ser um homem de estar integrado no serviço militar, servia a nação, um homem duro como já referi, mas deixava-se levar pela sua paixão de amar outra mulher, um homem bom fisicamente poderoso, intelectualmente também, usufruí disso de ter herdado os seus genes, tinha-o como herói, isto foi tudo a aprendizagem que mais tarde se veio a transformar.
Por quê?
O dom√≠nio sabia eu que podia fazer, desde o momento da separa√ß√£o, como fiquei com a minha m√£e tornei-me independente, arranjou um amante a minha m√£e, um homem trabalhador, trabalhava nos correios e trabalha, √© um homem de valor, come√ßou tamb√©m por a√≠, necessitava ajudar a minha m√£e e tornei-me o dominador da causa foi tudo bem tratado, arrependi-me, chorei, mas venci, penso que seja este o tema mais apropriado, amava-as como ningu√©m, felizmente elas est√£o bem, t√™m uma vida pr√≥pria, era normal haver discuss√Ķes, mas elas sempre tiveram raz√£o, eu √© que estava adormecido pela transcend√™ncia de querer mais, queria ter sem nada fazer, pensado isso que era f√°cil.
Comecei a trabalhar para ajudar a minha mãe, mas cedo percebi que eu não estava para deixar dominar, comecei a trabalhar como casqueiro ou seja, ajudante de estofador, que é o que faz a estrutura para ser moldado e estofado, trabalhava, era mesmo no meu bairro na pontinha, trabalhava lá junto do toninho rapaz da minha geração, tinha vários irmãos, mas eu era o preferido.
Trabalhava lá um indivíduo que era o casqueiro o homem da estrutura para poder estofar o sofá, era robusto de aparência, e eu já não o queria mais de aturar, formas agressivas de falar, já tinha vivido isso com o meu pai, então, optei por inverter a situação, sentia-me com capacidade para a progressão de viver, não me pesou, mas podia-me ter desgraçado naquele dia, por uma questão de não o querer magoar nem ferir, mas de me salvaguardar a mim mesmo joguei uma pedra do tamanho de uma mão, mas eu atirei desviado, quis dar o aviso.
Ainda me aceitaram l√°, continuei a trabalhar depois sa√≠ por op√ß√£o, mas tamb√©m o dono faleceu consumido pela doen√ßa hiv, foi uma situa√ß√£o que n√£o gostei, vi-o sofrer na doen√ßa, mas sempre o respeitei, perdi o emprego, comecei no ativo, ou seja, na g√≠ria √© utilizado como estar orientando, e n√£o aturar patr√Ķes, queremos a independ√™ncia, sentia-me filho de um le√£o, e agia como tal.
Em mar√ßo de 1996 fui encontrado, no metr√ī da avenida, j√° havia tido uma s√©rie de assaltos no metr√ī, havia den√ļncias dos crimes que se estavam a passar ali e calhou a ocasi√£o passou um psp que nos veio pedir identifica√ß√£o, e foi a√≠, j√° havia um antecedente, uma semana antes tinha estado na superesquadra de benfica acusado de ter roubado um leitor, mas o rapaz que me acompanhava, o ricardo, era cauteloso, inexperiente, ele tinha vindo de ovar n√£o conhecia a cidade, mas sabia-se orientar, era toxicodependente, e na altura como eu consumia coca√≠na, achei por bem ter uma muleta de seguran√ßa, ou seja, salvaguarda-me bem para o futuro, ou seja ter uma for√ßa, uma uni√£o para a progress√£o.
Mas agora entra aqui a estrutura, um dos fatores principais da capacidade de lealdade de cada um, começa a divagação, foi assim que descobri aquilo que eu já sabia que não se pode confiar se não se conhecer, mas a minha experiência era vasta, era enorme, estava seguro de mim mesmo, era bom naquilo que fazia, já havia feito vários assaltos à mão armada, optei por um caminho de não prejudicar ninguém, apenas obter o dinheiro.
Para quê?
Para viver, ingressei neste modo de vida e em mar√ßo de 1996, mais propriamente dia 28 fui avisado de um mandato de captura supostamente denunciado, falta s√≥ acrescentar a introdu√ß√£o deste tema, uma semana antes tinha sido preso na superesquadra de benfica, encontrava-me a dormir dentro de um carro, o dono daquilo era um tenente-coronel da for√ßa a√©rea, um homem que j√° tinha passado pelo ultramar, eu tinha por habitua√ß√£o dormitar por ali, mas ainda tinha a casa na pontinha, realmente nessa noite estava com o ricardo, e roubamos um leitor e adormecemos dentro do carro, fomos surpreendidos e acordados por agentes da psp, pertenciam √† superesquadra de benfica, mas eu n√£o me amedrontei e disse ao ricardo para n√£o amedrontar-se teria que ser forte e dizer um n√£o at√© o fim, n√£o havia prova em contr√°rio, mas ele avisou-me que a b√≥fia poderia aparecer, mas tranquilizei-o, disse-lhe est√° tudo bem, bebi muito whisky e tinha vontade de dormir e n√£o me estava a apetecer ir para casa e morava perto dali. Aconteceu isto, foi a pior d√ļvida que um homem pode sentir quando ensina e treina a situa√ß√£o do momento que se possa acontecer, nesse dia safei-me. Ele conseguiu obedecer √† minha regra de n√£o ter nada para dizer, mas eles n√£o se convenceram e foram buscar todos o arrumadores de carros das redondezas para saber se sabiam de algum assalto, de um leitor de cd azul, mas j√° t√≠nhamos cometido v√°rios crimes antes e estavam todos inseridos no roubo e sequestro, fomos a inqu√©rito no metr√ī da avenida, a esquadra situava no marqu√™s de pombal, esquadra metropolitana de lisboa, fomos inquiridos, eu nada disse, n√£o sei a conversa√ß√£o do ricardo, mas como j√° tinha antecedentes de tendo passado por uma semana anterior em uma situa√ß√£o id√™ntica, confiei.
Nesse dia, saímos da esquadra, nada tinha para dizer, confiei no depoimento dele para que me pudesse safar, estava a tirar na altura a carta de condução, trabalhava, mas já me encontrava a receber o fundo de desemprego, continuei a tirar a carta, fui fazer o código, passei, já estava na condução, senti-me bem, diverti-me imenso e foi na altura que fui servido, levei com um mandato de captura da judiciária, foram-me buscar a casa, tinha vindo do ginásio, treinava a mais de um mês, quando entrei na judiciária, percebi, quando fui inquirido na esquadra do marquês quando fui inquirido na esquadra do marquês de pombal eu nada disse, mas o ricardo tudo falou, prossegui o depoimento, na fase de instrução foi a inquérito da judiciária, nada lhes tinha para dizer, nada havia sido comprovado pelo fator flagrante. Por isso não podia aceitar tal decisão, seria como me entregar, talvez até fosse melhor ter tido uma atitude diferente, de falar a verdade, ser cooperador, arrepender-me, mas julguei-me pela minha sabedoria, quis jogar também com a justiça, o juiz que me condenou era um homem que tinha dissabores na vida, uma das filhas morreu por overdose e outros filhos restante também andavam agarrados à droga, eu fui avisado pela advogada, ou falava a verdade ou então iria ser duro de roer, mas confiei em mim.
Ela não me defendeu como devia ter defendido, não soube ser operacional em legitimidade dos deveres que tem de cumprir, como representante da lei, na altura não tinha advogado pessoal nem nunca me foi dado, tive de contratar após a prisão, depois de ter sido condenado, após ter sido condenado, contratei essa advogada, foi tudo de energia que eu quis acumular, sabia que estava na encruzilhada havia testemunho não o quis assumir, paguei um preço caro, pela falta de colaboração e resumiu-se em tudo à minha grande condenação até pensei mesmo em matar-me.
Foi um dia triste para mim jurei a mim mesmo que iria sobreviver a todas as situa√ß√Ķes adversas que me pudessem aparecer, foi o princ√≠pio do meu fim por tudo, perdi a liberdade j√° a algum tempo, levei uma cadeia pesada e consegui sobreviver.
Foi altura de vencer que aprendi a arte de poder angariar defesa pr√≥pria atrav√©s de mim, todos me respeitavam inclusive o poder administrativo que √© o que exerce as fun√ß√Ķes do estabelecimento prisional, pois √© com esse quando queremos ganhar alguma coisa temos de lidar, s√£o os donos do peda√ßo, ou seja, s√£o donos do territ√≥rio que dominam, julgam-se eles assim, s√£o comandados para fazer o que tem de ser feito, prosseguir o caminho na lealdade, independentemente, da maneira que possa parecer, possa ser e que todos possam ter, mas h√° uma subjuga√ß√£o que √© a desqualifica√ß√£o, quando exercem este cargo julgam-se que podem ser os donos da situa√ß√£o, n√£o resignam ao ser mais simples e que tem que viver, √© o progn√≥stico daquilo que eles estudaram e dos desastres que cometeram, n√£o foram um, nem dois, nem quatro, foram diversos, variad√≠ssimos apelidei-os a crucifica√ß√£o dos mais desgra√ßados, mas eu levantei a minha moral porque sempre esteve em alta, come√ßou tudo na minha entrada quando cheguei ao i.p. Ao linh√≥ foi uma entrada dura, dur√≠ssima, eu ia cheio de raiva e vontade de vencer, pensava at√© em fugir se tivesse oportunidade para isso, consegui-me manter, tudo porque consegui o respeito dos veteranos que se encontravam do i.p, e foram eles os verdadeiros pilares para eu aprender a vida em clausura, guerreei, batalhei, consegui, se n√£o fosse assim estaria no esquecimento, todos me recordam, todos gostam de me recordar, eu era a imagem caracter√≠stica, tornei-me um l√≠der sombrio e frio que n√£o sabia amar e foi assim que conquistei a gl√≥ria dentro da cadeia, foram atos frios de quem tinha que saber viver e permanecer ao cimo da terra para vencer. Depressa demonstrei aos educadores, aos assistentes, aos guardas e ao direto que me ajudassem a vencer a batalha dif√≠cil, n√£o senti apoio apenas olhei para a circunst√Ęncia do momento e a assist√™ncia era b√°rbara, aconteceu o que n√£o podia ter acontecido, virei o dem√īnio em mim mesmo, mas n√£o procurava o sarilho apenas queria viver e sobreviver, era o momento da circunst√Ęncia.
Isabel era o nome da diretora da escola em qual eu mantinha o respeito saud√°vel e agrad√°vel acompanhou-me sempre, ajudou-me sempre, mas mais tarde veio a tornar-se uma f√ļria em mim, mas sempre a respeitei. E isto tudo deveu-se √† forte press√£o que estava a ser exercida pelo sistema administrativo cujo nome do director era jo√£o g. O homem que tinha vindo de ultramar, safou-se quando o tentaram matar, √© a hist√≥ria dele conhecido, teve v√°rios anos no comando na administra√ß√£o do linh√≥, at√© depois da minha transfer√™ncia, conheci-o bem at√© era um homem que se podia conversar, era comunicador interessou-se pelo assunto, interpretou-me mal talvez por culpa dos adjuntos, eu era bem-visto no ciclo profissional, a n√≠vel de companheirismo todos me respeitavam e esse diretor pretendia o auge da carreira, ou seja, estou aqui para dominar, estou aqui para ganhar custe o que custar, ficarei bem visto era esse o objectivo dele, entre outras coisas podia dizer mais. Umas das causas que ele mais defendia era o tr√°fico de droga, ele gostava de ajudar os toxicodependentes, mas exigia uma moeda em troca, jogava com a lei, tinha um poder influenci√°vel para a aprecia√ß√£o de aplica√ß√£o de sa√≠das de prec√°ria e condicionais e sa√≠das de regime aberto, n√£o era mau tipo, s√≥ quem sai aos seus n√£o degenera e eu optei pelo caminho mais dif√≠cil o caminho que ningu√©m gosta de seguir, mas eu optei por seguir, seguir o caminho que me estava predestinado, quando se fala no destino por vezes acertamos, n√£o andaremos muito longe da realidade, tinha muitos sonhos quando era mi√ļdo e eram sonhos tornados num pesadelo, uma passagem no deserto j√° tinha previsto, j√° tinha visto o meu futuro, mas foi-me tudo retratado em sonho, cheguei a ter acompanhamento pelas bruxas que eram apelidadas de tal, passaram-me os sonhos porque tiveram de passar, o poder da mulher era grande, ajudou-me, mas a curiosidade desperta na sequ√™ncia da minha deten√ß√£o, eu tinha grande disputa com o meu irm√£o e queria ser melhor do que ele, uma disputa saud√°vel ele queria ser e √© igual a mim. Nessa altura, costum√°vamos ir ca√ßar contra cobras de √°gua para fazer pontaria, √≠amos jogar snooker, por vezes, enfrent√°vamos advers√°rios dif√≠ceis, mas ganh√°vamos sempre, eu sabia que ele era bom; hoje √© tenente do ex√©rcito. O meu pai geriu os apoios mais diretos que me podia dar, entregou-os, ajudou-o na forma√ß√£o, tudo isto porque por haver uma separa√ß√£o.estamos no meio da minha entrada do linh√≥, foi bravo, logo na entrada os guardas quiseram-me conhecer a fundo, foi uma entrada normal se falar-mos do ambiente que se vivia ali, era um ambiente de procura, tanto guardas como presos queriam ganhar, existia l√° um bom diretor, o manuel, mas era corrupto, mas n√£o prejudicava ningu√©m limitava-se a ganhar e a fazer o trabalho dele e tamb√©m ajudava, durante tr√™s anos estive debaixo de al√ßada desse diretor desde 1996 a 1999, ele foi retirado do cargo de diretor, mas passou a presidente de junta de freguesia, mas nunca mais se podia livrar do que o tinha levado a sair do linh√≥, era um bom homem, queria o bem-estar de todos e ao mesmo tempo n√£o prejudicava ningu√©m havia necessidade de fazer obras, na ala b considerada a ala assassina, estava apelidada de ala assassina, por tudo, pela infra-estrutura em cima e ao receber uma visita no parlat√≥rio ca√≠a √°gua era o resultado da falta de envergadura da infra- estrutura, t√≠nhamos de estar de guarda-chuva aberto, pois vivia-se num meio corrupto ao ponto de o director aceitar uma proposta alicer√ßada por dinheiro que podia explorar da dire√ß√£o geral dos servi√ßos prisionais, safou-se bem, a proposta foi baseada no arranjo do campo de treinos, ou seja, do campo de futebol, era terra batida lamacenta, bu√© de pesada era a alcunha dele tamb√©m lhe podia chamar esgui√ßa, mas era bom tamb√©m sabia andar, sabia como manipular o sistema, se havia corrup√ß√£o instaurada h√° que aproveitar o momento, sa√≠a ao meio da pena de uma condena√ß√£o de 16 anos, cumpri oito pela confian√ßa do segredo, mas isto n√£o iria terminar da melhor maneira pois havia quem fosse prejudicado pois assim teria de ser, faz parte do sistema, o sistema est√° instaurado desta forma h√° que haver uma justifica√ß√£o, e com isto passou-se mais um ano, era o terceiro ano que me encontrava no linh√≥ veio o verdadeiro dilema da corrup√ß√£o a venda de droga autorizada pela chefia de dire√ß√£o, manobravam tudo usando o recluso, da confian√ßa deles, era poderoso um traficante que tinha se ajeitado na vida com a venda de droga o nome dele lu√≠s torres, chegou a fazer um filho dentro da cadeia, houve uma proposta da empresa skip ao fazerem e preencher os sacos pagavam xis, eu cheguei a ser convidado para trabalhar a√≠, n√£o aceitava o fato que homens que estavam para exercer essa fun√ß√£o o autorizassem o pagamento em droga e eles ficavam com o dinheiro que era logo transferido via inform√°tica, foi a√≠ que se deu o verdadeiro problema de manuel t. Diretor at√© ent√£o; n√£o havia muito a fazer, houve um inqu√©rito da judici√°ria, houve transfer√™ncias propositadas ou seja, vamos limpar a nossa imagem, mas n√£o conseguiram limpar toda, foram √† barra do tribunal, o inqu√©rito da judici√°ria houve arguidos, e uma grande vastid√£o de testemunhos, mas eu n√£o testemunhei, nem sequer fui chamado para tal, tamb√©m n√£o iria dizer muita coisa, iria apenas salvaguardar o meu bem, senti que valia mais manear √† causa, podia ganhar alguma coisa com aquilo se me mantivesse em sil√™ncio, mal eu sabia que eu iria pagar o pre√ßo duro de roer.
O guarda pardal ficou fora dos serviços prisionais, o chefe amorim teve de ter a reforma antecipada, manuel t. Ainda conseguiu chegar à presidência de uma freguesia.
Houve mudan√ßa de direc√ß√£o, jo√£o g. Foi o pr√≥ximo nome que se seguiu na administra√ß√£o do e.p. Trazia uma ambi√ß√£o, grande demais at√© para o contexto, como come√ßaram as obras na ala b para remodela√ß√£o das condi√ß√Ķes, metade da ala estava fechada para obras, encontrava-me na cela com o carlos era filho da m√£e de uma professora universit√°ria, era secret√°rio da diretora da escola, mas era toxicodependente, de vez em quando, roubava a mala da professora para poder ter dinheiro para consumir, era um toxicodependente cr√īnico eu sentia compaix√£o do ser dele, pelo fato de o ver sempre a perder, n√£o conseguia evoluir estava resignado ao consumo, mas era inteligente, era uma pessoa astuta s√≥ que no mercado do tr√°fico os negros √© que mandavam, teve problemas com eles chegou a pedir prote√ß√£o estando eu com ele na cela, mas √© engra√ßado nunca ningu√©m me falou ou exigiu dinheiro, d√≠vidas que ele tivesse para pagar, inclusive defendi-o, mas foi atrai√ßoado deixou-me uma d√≠vida de consumo de hero√≠na ao homem que j√° o tipo espancado por d√≠vidas, eu aceitei e fiquei a dever, n√£o temi pois a hero√≠na tornou-me num ser selvagem, dom√≠nio total, foi a partir da√≠ que tive de levar uma vida dura de roer, foi o auge da minha f√ļria de ver algu√©m sofrer pois todos eles me deram a raz√£o, tive v√°rias lutas corpo a corpo, n√£o me conseguiam ganhar, ganhei a causa, todos eles precisaram depois do meu apoio para funcionarem e venderem e estarem bem com eles pr√≥prios, tinha a hero√≠na gr√°tis, satisfazia-me porque tinha valores espectaculares, era companheiro, era amigo e defendia a causa, mas tinha uma coisa muito brava que ningu√©m me contrariasse mesmo estando no consumo de hero√≠na. Todos eles aprenderam a respeitar-me eram caras da vida do crime, todos se conheciam no meio onde est√°vamos inseridos, eram respeitados, eles pr√≥prios me detestaram, ofereciam-me a hero√≠na para ir estudar, era a √ļnica forma que eles achavam que eu tinha de ter uma ocupa√ß√£o saud√°vel e aprender, foi a continua√ß√£o do ciclo do consumo estava a sentir-me bem, estava habituado e tirava-me a vontade de me alimentar e ter sexo, era a forma ideal passar o tempo em clausura sem ter que me chatear com o problema de ter sexo e de me alimentar.
Fui transferido para vale de judeus em 1998, fui tirar um curso de carpinteiro, não o cheguei a concluir após dez meses regressei ao linhó.
Entrei diretamente para o castigo era o chamado regime 111 o regime duro, em que esperamos um inqu√©rito que possa vir a dar em san√ß√Ķes ou consequ√™ncias disciplinares, paguei, paguei o pre√ßo de reivindicar um direito que eu tinha que era o de ter televis√£o, r√°dio, mas a mim tiraram-me tudo isso, e todos se conheciam do nome que chamava √† minha televis√£o, susana tinha-me sido oferecida pela minha m√£e, foi espectacular pois tinha a televis√£o sempre da minha cela. √Äs vezes inventei, pegava nela empenhava-a, alugava-a para poder consumir nos dias em que me sentia mais fraco, mas tinha um amor infinito a ela, estaria disposto a matar, se algu√©m me estragasse, fiz isso poucas vezes n√£o me sentia bem.
Entrei em 111 fui ouvido pelo chefe da cadeia, o chefe amorim descendente de moçambique, mas português, um homem alto, mas magro, não era mau tipo queria apenas ter o território dominado, queria aquilo sossegado, foi assim que ele me disse deixa de falar dessa maneira ou a gente chateava-se, eu disse que sim poderia se chatear estava disposto a isso, foi na altura que saí dentro escritório do chefe, ou seja, da sua secretária, já fazia serviço há muitos anos, o guarda baptista, bebia muito, mas honesto, não pretendia o mal de ninguém era como o chefe, queria ter um bem-estar, fui surpreendido por esse guarda, tentou me agredir não conseguiu, havia mais alguns guardas que estavam lá no local, no pbx e viram a confusão, rodearam- me tentaram-me agredir novamente, não conseguiram, prolongou-se mais uns minutos, mas a insistência deles foi a minha resistência, foi então que surgiu um guarda já na casa dos seus 50 anos, o guarda ferro, falou comigo, disse-me para parar e que ninguém me ia agredir, mas eu já tinha agredido o guarda batista e o chefe da cadeia, o chefe amorim, não lhes causei grande mossa, sabia que ia perder, então ele disse-me, vais algemado para o pavilhão de segurança, fui algemado pela presença do chefe, ele é que ordenou, ordenou o guarda ferro e dirigi-me ao pavilhão de segurança, o chefe mandou-me tirar as algemas e mandou-me entrar dentro da cela, pois ficaria em regime de segurança até o inquérito estar concluído.
Sinceramente, ganhei respeito ao homem, foi homem foi chefe, deu o exemplo, como as institui√ß√Ķes que representam as for√ßas de repress√£o, devem ser bem comandadas aos de todos, para que todos se sintam bem. Para mim foi o chefe mais humano que conheci, cumpri castigo como seria l√≥gico, teria que pagar pelo ato em si, mas tamb√©m ganhei o respeito deles, deixaram-se de intrometer na vida direta, a de ter que sobreviver, mesmo dentro da cadeia se vive, chamei-lhe o local in√≥spito, o ser id√™ntico pela frase em si, para um local onde n√£o existe nada, estamos vivos s√≥ por viver, mas temos de acreditar, j√° tinha ouvido o homic√≠dio, sucederam-se v√°rias marea√ß√Ķes, isto √© palavra do cal√£o para utilizar na vida do crime, ou seja quer dizer propriamente homic√≠dio, portanto eu j√° havia cometido algumas situa√ß√Ķes que poderiam cair mal no meio prisional, acompanhado com o hugo rasta, rasta √© alcunha, entrou com 16 anos dentro da cadeia, morava no bairro dos h√ļngaros, conheci-o numa altura em que cumpria um castigo no pavilh√£o de seguran√ßa, vi um jovem j√° tinha alguns anos do linh√≥, e travei um contato com ele d√°-me um cigarro, mas deixei-o de o ver pois est√°vamos m u i t a s h o r a s f e c h a d o s , f o i u m c o n h e c i m e n t o d e circunst√Ęncia, foi um momento, pois bem tinha-o visto ali, ele estava ali, na ala b, a ala considerada assassina, ele estava na ala a, uma ala calma, albergava os reclusos que trabalhavam e queriam estar calmos na cadeia, mas havia consumidores, havia traficantes e havia um que ainda hoje est√° preso que o nome √© delfim, eu j√° explico a hist√≥ria dele, ele procurou-me, depressa vi naquela primeira vez que me encontrei com ele, era astuto, chavalo bom, mas ele tinha levado uma inf√Ęncia selvagem tamb√©m, pelo caminho que os pais fizeram, remonta a cabo-verde, procuram-me uma vida melhor, pelos la√ßos hist√≥ricos que existem no conhecimento e visto como tal tinham a dureza de terem vivido, n√£o levavam uma vida que fosse muito f√°cil, tiveram de morar no bairro dos h√ļngaros, um bairro com pessoas maioritariamente oriundas de cabo-verde, a constru√ß√£o das casas n√£o eram muito boas, mas ofereciam as condi√ß√Ķes m√≠nimas de n√£o dormir na rua, ter um teto, por mais mis√©ria que seja tinham educa√ß√£o, as casas eram mantidas limpas e tinham uma arruma√ß√£o pr√≥pria de quem teve uma verdadeira educa√ß√£o, mas l√° est√°, havia a desigualdade social, tinham de trabalhar muito e estas pessoas s√£o gente boa, gostavam de mimar os filhos, mas n√£o tinham tempo para eles, tinham de trabalhar para ter uma vida honesta, de bem-estar, √© pr√≥prio e por vezes o afastamento pode provocar um choque, as crian√ßas come√ßam a crescer, passam muito tempo longe dos pais, a procura√ß√£o leg√≠tima de quando se quer ser grande, ter uma independ√™ncia, ter uma auto-sufici√™ncia, de procurar aquilo que era bom, mas caiu na droga, era um contato igual √†quele que eu tive quando cumpria castigo, mas que depois deixei andar, como perdi o contato visual e como n√£o havia, tido tempo de haver um contato mais direto, n√£o me lembrei dele, mas ele procurou-me estava na ala b e fazia muito desporto e ele passa por mim e disse se queria jogar as cartas, o jogo da bisca, tipicamente, cabo-verdiano, e ganhei amizade ali a ele, mas veio a prolongar-se por muito mais tempo, dura at√© hoje, mas ele nessa altura tamb√©m j√° consumia hero√≠na, e foi a√≠ que me lembrei que j√° o tinha visto no intendente, faziam-se ali neg√≥cios escuros, o mercado negro em que tudo est√° tudo bem, desde que ningu√©m prejudique a ningu√©m, foi numa altura brava que percebi logo √† primeira vista que o rapaz era astuto, tinha alma, a sua apar√™ncia apresentava um rasta grande, selvagem, mas bem tratado, foi essa a imagem do primeiro momento quando o vi, e percebi que era um rapaz que aos olhos da sociedade, era visto como tal, o fora da lei, o homem que vive √† margem da sociedade, mas todos n√≥s gostamos que ter um bem-estar assegurado para nos podermos assegurar, para nos podemos precaver do nosso bem-estar, da igualdade humana onde √© digna de se dizer que todos n√≥s vivemos com tudo isto que criamos, mas sabemos tamb√©m que o bem caminha lado a lado com o mal, as a√ß√Ķes que da√≠ possam advir trazem o caminho mais dif√≠cil de viver, ele tinha vindo transferido da ala a par a ala b, ficou na cela ao lado da minha, ele estava com o tiquinho na cela, outro cabo-verdiano, bravo tamb√©m j√° estava na cela a algum tempo, depois de o conhecer, sabia que ele estava na cela j√° a bastante tempo, viriam a ter hist√≥rias diferentes, mais tarde, relatarei a hist√≥ria do tiquinho, nessa mesma manh√£ ap√≥s a noite da transfer√™ncia o tiquinho voltou √† ala a, tinha feito um acordo com a dire√ß√£o, colaborar metendo o outro √† cabe√ßa do touro, √© outra express√£o tamb√©m utilizada no cal√£o que quer dizer deixar o outro pendurado, para ele se salvar, n√£o ficou mal visto foi dentro do meio e d√°vamo- nos bem, mas o hugo ficou na ala b, nessa noite falamos pela janela pudemo-nos contatar dessa forma, est√°vamos muito perto, e ouvi bastante barulho na cela, chamou-me a aten√ß√£o, dentro da cadeia temos que ter a percep√ß√£o do perigo √© essa que nos faz viver e que nos ajuda a vencer, traz-nos a alma do querer do ser, a alma que todos n√≥s gostamos de encarnar, uma alma forte cheia de coragem e destreza e ast√ļcia.
Nessa noite que antecedeu a manh√£ seguinte, falamos pela janela, como ouvi barulho perguntei:
- quem está aí?
Tinha ouvido barulho que se passou, ele disse-me:
- sou o hugo, estou aqui mais o tiquinho.

 

Foi a forma de o sancionarem, pelo facto, que eles haviam cometido nesse mesmo dia que foram transferidos para a ala b, foi rotineiro foi então que ele me disse quando abrirem as portas neste caso as celas vêm comigo à ala a, mas disse- me para ficar calado, mas eu pensei, tratava-se do hugo, era a estrela, era o homem do momento, estava viciado na heroína, exigia aos traficantes que lhe fornecessem droga sem dinheiro, era uma obrigação, ele assim o exigia, um rapaz rebelde de uma forma enorme, foi aí que sucedeu o assalto, eu deixei as portas abrirem não saí, mas sabia que ele sairia, sabia que ele tinha tido alguma brasa na ala a, palavra do calão também brasa, que se pode entender como na gíria do crime um acontecimento de rotina de quem anda à chuva molha-se.
Depois sai da cela, fiz a minha rotina normal de tomar o pequeno-almo√ßo, depois ir treinar, ir √† escola, ir √†s aulas, nessa manh√£ do pequeno-almo√ßo, estranhei n√£o os ver pois a minha rotina era esta era a de procurar tamb√©m, estava viciado, mas ainda n√£o estava verdadeiramente viciado, mas j√° tinha feito uns assaltos e tinha j√° extorquido algum dinheiro, durante a manh√£ vieram-me contar, os rapazes que tamb√©m eram consumidores eram chamados de piranhas, buscavam a vida de uma forma mais honesta, mas sempre enganadora porque o v√≠cio tamb√©m os levava a isso, o hugo foi para o pavilh√£o de seguran√ßa com o tiquinho, mas apareceu outro o z√© bola, angolano morava em chelas nunca tive bom ‚Äúfeeling‚ÄĚ com ele pelo fato de lhe ter dado umas cal√ßas de fato de treino, ao em√≠lio bairro alto e ele queria roubar o em√≠lio, ele sabia que as cal√ßas eram minhas j√° me tinha provocado v√°rias vezes, mas eu nunca liguei, nunca dei import√Ęncia eles tiveram uma briga feia o em√≠lio bairro alto cresceu mesmo a√≠ no bairro alto era atrevido, √©ramos da mesma cria√ß√£o e ele quis defender aquilo quer era meu, queria defender a honra de sermos bairrista de termos uma liga√ß√£o de inf√Ęncia, a seguir seguiram-se v√°rios outros, o profeta, tamb√©m do bairro e foi a√≠ que se deu a briga feia: o z√© bola era robusto o pesava cerca de 90 kg., o em√≠lio era um rapaz seco, t√≠pico africano como era mais magro defendeu a honra, enfrentou a situa√ß√£o, o z√© bola queria-o mandar do 3¬ļ piso foi onde se deu a discuss√£o, n√£o foi f√°cil, mas ele sabia que tinha a ast√ļcia de viver e ter de sobreviver √† quest√£o. Depois de o z√© bola ter tirado as cal√ßas do fato de treino e estar com elas na m√£o, discutiram; eu sabia que o em√≠lio ia ganhar, mas nunca pensei que aquilo iria acabar assim o z√© bola queria mand√°-lo do 3¬ļ piso, agarrou-lhe nas pernas, o em√≠lio fez aquilo que aprendeu, em √ļltimo caso, sou eu que me tenho que salvar, agarrou-lhe no pesco√ßo obrigou a quebrar, ou seja, no momento em que agarra o pesco√ßo n√£o o larga, aquilo tinha um corrim√£o fica de frente ou √† entrada das celas, como quer que seja e n√£o oferecia grande seguran√ßa, neste caso tornou-se o imprevis√≠vel, desde o primeiro momento pensei que eles iam cair, ou seja previ a antecipa√ß√£o da a√ß√£o, mas depois pensei e ainda tive alguns segundo depois de ter visto e previsto e pensei que aquilo n√£o iria acontecer, mas aconteceu, o em√≠lio agarrou-lhe no pesco√ßo e n√£o o largou mais, e com a for√ßa que o z√© bola fez, ele conjugou duas for√ßas monumentais, n√£o fugir quando se tem raz√£o, foi sempre essa a nossa educa√ß√£o, ca√≠ram do 3¬ļ piso at√© pensei que o estrago fosse maior, at√© pensei que algum deles podia morrer naquela situa√ß√£o, mas felizmente salvaram-se, a for√ßa da raz√£o vence sempre penso que a vida √© assim, eu fugi agora um bocado ao tema, para poder explicar todo o percurso que foi feito, dentro deste contexto em que vamos sempre encontrando pessoas, vamos mantendo os contatos porque s√£o elas que nos ajudam a falar a discutirmos situa√ß√Ķes √© tudo agrad√°vel se for visto e feito dessa forma, podemos at√© ter uma vida ligada √† toxicodepend√™ncia, mas sentimo-nos bem, porque estamos dependentes da droga, mas somos pessoas que debatemos temas, de variad√≠ssimos temas, desde o tema mais banal, desde os mais simples como futebol at√© o mais cient√≠fico, lemos bastante para podermos depois discutir, foi sempre o nosso forte foi ler, ora bem como deixei mais atr√°s aqui s√≥ quis demonstrar o porqu√™ de eu dizer que nunca tive bom ‚Äúfeeling‚ÄĚ com o z√© bola, o z√© bola partiu o bra√ßo, ao em√≠lio n√£o lhe aconteceu nada, ficou ileso, mas foi nesse dia dormir ao hospital, por preven√ß√£o. O z√© bola ainda ficou umas 3 semanas no hospital prisional, meteram-lhe platina no bra√ßo, foi a mazela maior que ele teve, sinceramente fiquei contente de ver que se safaram, perdoei-lhe a a√ß√£o, mas eu sei que ficou sempre com rancor de mim, mas pronto, compreendi a situa√ß√£o, deixei-o andar.
Foi nesse dia pela manh√£, seriam talvez umas 11 horas da manh√£ que tamb√©m o z√© bola tinha ido para o pavilh√£o de seguran√ßa, eu sabia que o hugo andava com ele, j√° o tinha visto algumas vezes, estavam no pavilh√£o de seguran√ßa  levaram a san√ß√£o mais r√≠gida dos meios prisionais √© chamado manco, √© o isolamento, n√£o tens que ter nada da cela a n√£o ser as coisas b√°sicas, teres uma toalha, teres uns len√ß√≥is, teres um livro para ler, n√£o podes ter isqueiros da cela e est√°s fechado 23 horas por dia, √© sempre duro de ultrapassar mas acabam-nos por habituar a estas san√ß√Ķes, pois j√° passamos isto antes, de estar no castigo, o estar no castigo o viver aquela situa√ß√£o, mas n√£o gost√°vamos de viver daquela forma, n√≥s sab√≠amos que quem anda √† chuva molha-se.
Todo o mal fosse este e aos que tivessem cumprido o castigo e as coisas iriam ficar por ali, mas n√£o, o hugo no assalto esfaqueou duas vezes o delfim no est√īmago, trataram o homem mal, para o roubar pouca coisa, uns gramas de hero√≠na e uns 30 contos, seriam uns 10 gramas, um homem que viria a pagar o pre√ßo da sua alcunha delfim, o patinhas, patinhas porque ele estava preso por assalto ao comboio, fizeram um morto, foi muito falado e conhecido na altura, um assalto de topo, porque envolvia muito dinheiro, era uma quantidade exorbitante, na altura eram os comboios que transportavam o dinheiro dos bancos entre sintra lisboa. O assalto aconteceu mesmo a√≠ √† sa√≠da do comboio de sintra lisboa e houve um morto, mas nunca conseguiram provar que foi ele que cometeu o crime do homic√≠dio, nunca conseguiram provar que ele foi o verdadeiro mentor do homic√≠dio, mas foi condenado e ao longo do seu percurso prisional levou com v√°rias rusgas que lhe iam e apanhavam a droga, ele n√£o dava droga a ganhar a ningu√©m, ou seja, ele vendia, ele guardava a pr√≥pria droga, ele arranjava cofres dentro da cela, s√≥ por uma chibadela eles poderiam l√° chegar, mas isto √© por agora.
Como ele tinha a alcunha do patinhas, foi-lhe dada essa alcunha pelo fato de não fiar nada a ninguém, não dar a ninguém, ele sabe que uma mão pode lavar a outra, ou seja, ele poderia dar a ganhar, podia ajudar quando as pessoas lhe pediam ajuda e o hugo era um rapaz rebelde, estava agarrado. Seguiu-se uma sequência após estes acontecimentos, delfim foi transferido para coimbra, tiquinho vale de judeus, entretanto também eu; estávamos no ano de 1998 mais propriamente junho, dia 27, já me tinha separado do hugo ele estava em outra cela, havia fatores que levaram a fazer tal, os outros próprios companheiros que o procuravam eram piranhas, porque todos os dias roubavam cerca de 30 a 40 gramas para fumar e consumiam, atraíam a multidão pelo fato de estarem sempre orientados, é chamado a sequência da toxicodependência e foi nessa altura quando ele saiu do manco, decidimos que iríamos ficar na mesma cela, mas esses piranhas falavam sempre mal de mim, porque para eles eu era mais uma pedra no caminho, tirara-lhes espaço de manobra porque eles sabiam que eu era o verdadeiro piranha, atraía amigos porque sabia me dar ao convívio.
Sabia-me dar ao conv√≠vio do contexto da situa√ß√£o e era isso essas tais pessoas que conviviam comigo na circunst√Ęncia do momento, diziam mal de mim, falaram mal de mim, tudo no intuito de conseguirem usufruir daquilo que o puto arranjava, queriam as aten√ß√Ķes para eles e queriam ter as aten√ß√Ķes para eles para que pudessem ser eles a estarem bem, ou seja, terem sempre a ressaca tirada, eu n√£o me incomodei com isso sabia que a vida era assim todos querem estar bem e estarem gratos pelo seu proveitos por benef√≠cio pr√≥prio, mas foram sempre aqueles que eu sempre precisei, eles tamb√©m precisavam de mim, tornamo-nos uma for√ßa unida, ou seja, estarem assegurados se quisessem algum assalto teriam a nossa ajuda, mas para isso tamb√©m teriam que pagar e foi a altura que fui transferido para tirar um curso em vale de judeus, j√° tinha dois ou tr√™s meses de curso quando o hugo rasta foi transferido para vale de judeus, chegou eu recebi-o como irm√£o, pela amizade que j√° mantinha com ele, existem quatro alas em vale de judeus alas a, b, c, e d, eu encontrava-me na d, estava na ala com o delfim j√° tinha sido transferido de coimbra para vale de judeus e foi a√≠ que eu disse ao hugo se queria permanecer na minha cela, ele queria, s√≥ que havia outra quest√£o que ele tinha receio, pois ele j√° tinha tentando matar o delfim no linh√≥, al√©m de lhe ter dado duas facadas queria mandar o homem do 3¬ļ piso c√° para baixo e o primo dele, o bento, impediu de fazer tal, mas ele n√£o quis ficar comigo na minha cela, n√£o porque n√£o quisesse, mas temia a vingan√ßa do delfim, j√° tinha feito v√°rias coisas na cadeia, tinha respeito, era um homem que se vingava facilmente era conhecido como tal, mas eu disse-lhe esquece isso o homem n√£o se vai vingar de ti, ningu√©m se vai vingar, tinha uma boa rela√ß√£o com o delfim disse-lhe v√°rias vezes que n√£o gostei do que lhe fizeram e ele tinha-me dito que j√° tinha esquecido.
Eu estava a tirar o curso, e estas transfer√™ncias vieram de uma marea√ß√£o que aconteceu no linh√≥ o hugo rasta e o cadete ficaram arguidos num processo de homic√≠dio que se passou no linh√≥. √Čramos bastante jovens que t√≠nhamos vindo do linh√≥ poderia mencionar os nomes deles todos, mas n√£o vou s√≥ mencionar o nome de alguns, o tiquinho, o jonhson, o verdadeiro jogador de futebol, representava todas as sele√ß√Ķes das cadeia onde estava ou tinha passado, toni gaivota, tinha sido transferido por tamb√©m ter feito v√°rios assaltos no linh√≥ a traficantes, estava tamb√©m o z√© t√≥, este eu tinha vivido bastante com ele, ainda n√£o estava preso, vivi com ele debaixo do mesmo teto, com umasraparigas, chavalas que eu tinha a minha ele tinha a dele.
Mas a curiosidade desta hist√≥ria inverteu-se para mim, andava com uma rapariga que consumia cavalo e ela prostitu√≠a-se tamb√©m, ali√°s eram as duas prostitutas, n√£o gostava de viver dependente de uma mulher, mas gostei dela ao ponto de viver com ela. Eu na altura s√≥ consumia coca√≠na, n√£o aceitava muito bem ela consumir hero√≠na e coca√≠na, mas mantinha a rela√ß√£o, gostava dela e o z√© t√≥ e a ana tamb√©m eram toxicodependentes e o curioso desta hist√≥ria √© que eu dizia sempre ao z√© t√≥ para ele deixar o cavalo, sempre disse que n√£o iria consumir hero√≠na, mais tarde vim-me a viciar dentro da cadeia e nesse tempo que estive em vale de judeus, estavam l√° o rasta, o tiquinho viviam-se tempos bons, havia muita abund√Ęncia do material no mercado, ou seja, havia muita droga e vale de judeus √© uma cadeia respeitada, por onde passam muitos homens condenados a penas m√°ximas e sempre teve a fama de ser uma cadeia perigosa, sempre existiram e aconteceram ali homic√≠dios, por isso era uma cadeia com uma fama pesada.
Como havia muito material no mercado todos queriam vender para serem fornecidos com mais material, começa aí a disputa entre o delfim e o pinóquio o verdadeiro encontrava-se detido por tráfico de droga internacional, era o cabecilha e como o homem já tinha já um cadastro nas cadeias de norte a sul de portugal, e foi aí que começou novamente o que não queria ver ou saber. O pinóquio pagou ao hugo uma quantidade grande de droga para espancar o delfim, ele entrou nisso agrediu violentamente o homem nos balneários, tudo por uma questão de inveja; o delfim vendia os pacotes maiores e os deles eram mais fracos, foi por isso que o pinóquio pagou para espancar o delfim.
Foi um acontecimento que n√£o foi muito agrad√°vel, mas tamb√©m chegou o momento, como tamb√©m j√° tinha um cadastro interno e j√° havia cumprido v√°rios castigos, comecei a ter problemas, comecei a ser perseguido por um indiv√≠duo de alcunha marc√£o, ele encontrava-se preso por ter assassinado o irm√£o, e como eu necessitava de fumar todos os dias comecei a fazer cobran√ßas e foi numa dessas cobran√ßas que esse marc√£o apareceu, n√£o me queria deixar levar o dinheiro, achava-se no direito como estava ali a mais anos do que eu, montou-me a barra ou seja queria-me evitar a n√£o levar do dinheiro da cobran√ßa, pois ele tinha a√≠ tamb√©m dinheiro a receber. Tivemos uma troca de palavras na qual ele mostrou o poder f√≠sico, mas n√£o aconteceu nada eu sa√≠ com o m eu dinheiro, s√≥ que isso foi o princ√≠pio de ganhar um inimigo, cheguei a fazer um jogo de futebol no qual estava em jogo um volume de tabaco para a equipe que ganhasse, ele jogava na equipe advers√°ria eu encontrava-me a jogar com a turma que tinha vindo do linh√≥, a minha era composta pelo toni gaivota, o jorge, o z√© t√≥ e o lu√≠s e √©ramos atletas e sab√≠amos jogar, quer√≠amos ganhar nem que para isso tiv√©ssemos de subestimar o advers√°rio e foi isso que aconteceu, perdemos, perdemos o jogo pois eu fui o cabe√ßa da aposta, tinha empenhado a minha televis√£o na gan√Ęncia de ganhar um volume, tinha-a empenhado no ramon, o cigano, j√° tinha longo cadastro era um homem batido no meio, como n√£o queria perder disse que n√£o pagava, eles chatearam-se todos comigo e exigiram o volume de tabaco, mas calaram-se, foi ent√£o que esse tal de marc√£o continuou a dizer que queria o volume e aceitei porque n√£o tinha raz√£o tinha sido o combinado do jogo, era um atleta, lutava sempre pela raz√£o e evitava problemas quando assim tivesse que evitar. Continuei, mas esse rapaz continuou sempre com a tentativa de me provocar; h√° um dia que estava para ir para o curso de carpintaria, era por isso que eu tinha ido para a√≠, para vale de judeus, nesse dia aconteceu o inevit√°vel, o guarda foi-me abrir a cela, era raro eu ficar na cela, mas nesse dia estava frustrado, n√£o tinha fumado droga suficiente ia para sair pelo grad√£o para descer para o curso e vou a passar aparece-me o marc√£o, deu-me um encontr√£o pois como estava frustrado e como j√° tinha havido antecedentes, mat√©ria provocat√≥ria para comigo, n√£o hesitei desferi um soco e ele reagiu, mas n√£o teve hip√≥tese j√° o havia estudado, era um lutador, mas estava desesperado em provocar aquilo que aconteceu, foi sensacional, ou seja, n√£o cumpri castigo nenhum porque se encontrava l√° nesse dia o chefe da ala, eduardo, era o nome dele, um homem com cerca de dois metros de altura, forte fisicamente, era um homem honesto, era um homem reto e deixou as coisas assim. Continuei no curso sempre atento a qualquer investida por parte dele, pois fiquei atento ele tinha levado algum tempo a provocar-me e como tal, precavi-me, aquilo que todos n√≥s temos instinto, o senso comum apelidou as mulheres do sexto sentido, mas tamb√©m os homens o t√™m. O sexto sentido √© o imprevisto, √© o saber jogar e o saber estar e respeitar, nada aconteceu ap√≥s isso, tentei a seguir provocar, mas n√£o conseguiu pois o meu n√ļcleo era forte, estava assegurado pelo hugo rasta, um dos homens mais respeitados no tempo que eu vivi em clausura, s√≥ n√£o o considerava o primeiro porque o primeiro, eu; tudo aquilo que ele aprendeu, a coragem que ele demonstrava, j√° eu tinha tido a bravura e j√° eu tinha passado, absorvi, absorvi a coragem de saber que tinha ali um guerreiro, um homem leal, um poeta, um homem que gostava de poesias, mas at√© nisso eu era melhor que ele. Gostava de o ouvir, compus v√°rios versos, um deles dedicado a ele, eu era o melhor, era a figura carism√°tica dos tempos em que corria, era astuto, era forte, era desinibido, consegui vingar no meio, onde habitava com o resto da popula√ß√£o prisional, apanhei muitos, mas era tudo gente pac√≠fica, gente que trabalhava, mas eu n√£o. Quando deixei de trabalhar e tirei o curso, tornei-me aquilo que n√£o me queria tornar, o le√£o das trevas, voltei ao linh√≥, foi a√≠ que tudo progrediu a meu favor pois tinha voltado a casa onde eu j√° tinha estado e tinha dominado, a√≠ foi a confirma√ß√£o do meu ser, o renascer do dom√≠nio que eu j√° tinha tido naquela casa, pois tinha mantido o respeito, era duro de roer, ent√£o decidi procurar formas mais f√°ceis para sobreviver das dif√≠ceis que j√° tinha encontrado.
√Č uma cadeia central de lisboa, albergava de todo o tipo, filhos da m√£e que existem na vida, uns enveredaram pelo crime por coincid√™ncia, outros envergaram pelo crime por consci√™ncia, existia sempre o fator bom e bem, n√£o temia mais nada sen√£o a mim mesmo, pois j√° tinha feito tudo, desde ser o bom, o amigo, o protetor, o conciliador, aquele que compreendia todas as situa√ß√Ķes, que eram amarguradas, que eram ditas por aqueles que desabafavam comigo, pois eu sentia uma grande compaix√£o, tinha tomado o sentido de uni√£o e n√£o queria entrar na desilus√£o. Prossegui o meu caminho para conseguir uma condicional, mas ainda faltava algum tempo para poder usufruir da condicional, tomei uma decis√£o n√£o vou fazer nada que me prejudique, mas sim vou trabalhar para obter a liberdade, tornou-se tudo complicado porque enfrentei um comando bem estruturado pela dire√ß√£o, mas eu podia ter ganho tudo com essa dire√ß√£o. Na altura n√£o aceitava que o motivo que foi levado por essa dire√ß√£o fosse t√£o r√≠gido, fosse um regime autorit√°rio, pois n√£o estava para aceitar esse regime, pretendia livrar-me mais r√°pido da cadeia, mas tornou-se ainda mais dif√≠cil, mas isso deixo para mais tarde aos leitores para que possam entender todo um percurso que n√£o me canso de repetir, duro de roer, pois bem foi na altura da transi√ß√£o de manuel t.; o diretor que eu tinha encontrado, foi substitu√≠do por jo√£o g. O homem que tinha vindo de macau, um ex-inspetor da judici√°ria, um homem que j√° tinha vivido um atentado por parte da m√°fia que estava instaurada em macau, apelidada de 24 kilates, houve alguns guardas mortos, no exerc√≠cio da fun√ß√£o pois aquilo pertencia √† administra√ß√£o portuguesa, a√≠ a raz√£o de enviarem refor√ßos p√ļblicos para servir a na√ß√£o.
Ele sofreu o atentado, escapou, mas o guarda-costas foi morto, subiu, chegou à administração do linhó, homem reto, ele gostou de mim quando me viu, mandou-me avisar que tinha confiança em mim, mas eu não liguei pois tinha noção da transformação do ser, considerei-me o rei escorpião, aquele que tem veneno no sangue, não lhe liguei e por não ligar, perdi.
Come√ßou num castigo m√≠nimo na cela de habita√ß√£o, era um castigo, n√£o era duro, era considerado um castigo normal√≠ssimo no ritmo soci√°vel dentro da cadeia, mas para mim tornou-se num pesadelo, n√£o aceitei tal castigo. O diretor jo√£o g. Dirigiu-se √† minha cela, para falar comigo, para me ajudar, n√£o aceitei tal ajuda, desconfiava da cren√ßa que ele tinha, pois estava certo, ele exigia em troca uma colabora√ß√£o direta daquilo que ele quisesse saber, eu n√£o estava disposto a isso, pois nunca foi de mim colaborar nesses servi√ßos, mas ficou o comprovativo dele de como era um homem bom. Desse castigo, surgiu o pior, tinha tomado dois psicotr√≥picos, √† minha janela encontravam-se: o ca√ßador, o chibanga e o piranha, foi o ca√ßador que me deu os dois psicotr√≥picos, passou um graduado de servi√ßo, era o homem que me tinha levado a estar no castigo de cela, sampaio era o nome dele. Como o efeito dos psicotr√≥picos ainda estava em mim, enfureceu-me ver o sampaio passar em frente √† minha cela, parti a cela inteira, cheguei fogo ao colch√£o, sa√≠, quando os guardas me foram auxiliar, fugi, fui para o p√°tio, peguei num pau e duas pedras e tinha escrito no bra√ßo direito, vingan√ßa, desejo cruel. Naquele dia, estava disposto a matar, os guardas ou fosse quem fosse que se metesse no meu caminho, mas eles foram espertos como sempre, vieram conversar comigo, eles n√£o tinham outra sa√≠da, pois sabiam que eu estava enfurecido e tinha uma ala inteira para me defender se eu assim proclamasse, mas n√£o fiquei pela minha conta, como n√£o sabia lutar sem ter raz√£o, ao fim de algumas horas aceitei a reden√ß√£o, ou seja, √© o per√≠odo em que acabamos as negocia√ß√Ķes e para que eu n√£o cumprisse muito, aceitei que eles me dessem 20 dias de cela disciplinar, ou seja manco, pois foi a√≠ que conheci alfredo m., o psp, o ex-goe, malandro era bairrista, aproveitou o estado para exercer fun√ß√Ķes como tal, para come√ßar a fun√ß√£o na m√°fia, era um homem duro pois j√° tinha sido campe√£o de boxe m√©dio pesado, conhecia-o bem, e foi a√≠ que, quando ca√≠ na cela disciplinar, tive um epis√≥dio, que n√£o queria ter e que lhe poderia ter tirado a vida, pois j√° havia antecedentes com os negros que tinham ido cumprir san√ß√Ķes disciplinares, foi uma altura brava, eu j√° sabia do que se estava a passar acerca do sucedido e j√° tinha dito em voz alta que eu n√£o iria papar tal n√ļmero de ser espancado por ele, pois a dire√ß√£o era duvidosa, estava feita a m√°fia de todos os negros que ca√≠ssem no castigo e tivessem cometido ou levado algum castigo em fun√ß√£o de desrespeitar os guardas ou servi√ßos, funcion√°rios ou dire√ß√£o, iriam pagar atrav√©s de alfredo m., ele tinha sido ex-psp, ex-b√≥fia, conhecia muitos deles e eu j√° o conhecia como tal, mas ao proclamar em voz alta e falar diretamente com o marine, deu-me a cana, ca√≠ no castigo, eu sabia que alfredo m. Iria ter comigo, mas foi a√≠ que eu me enganei. Tentaram-me matar quando me dirigia ao balne√°rio para tomar banho, n√£o conseguiram, com ele estavam mais dois b√≥fias na prote√ß√£o que nada conseguiram contra mim. Foi na altura que mostrei o querer da minha raz√£o de viver, tinha sido incutida por uma quest√£o de ser bairrista, pois j√° tinha, vivi no bairro.
Cedo perdi o meu pai, tornei-me adulto mais cedo, isso veio-se repercutir na vida que depois levei, lá está é vivência é transcendência do futuro, cai sobre ela o modo de vida da criação e quando ela é dura, somos obrigados a ter uma educação mais severa, precocemente trás aquilo que provadamente ninguém deseja de desejar.
Foi nessa altura que j√° havia passado a fase do marc√£o, foi nessa altura que comecei a querer mais a raz√£o, tinha que se ter uma decis√£o a n√≠vel de companheiro e da dire√ß√£o, mas eu sabia que no meio se intrometia a vigil√Ęncia que era composta por guardas e chefias, consegui, consegui adquirir e me intrometer num outro ser, mas que n√£o era mais que um ser igual a mim, por vezes √© uma quest√£o de oportunidades, eu procurei, procuro e procurarei ter a alma do lusitano, sou descendente da ra√ßa lusa da ra√ßa brava, j√° comandou o mundo, √© √≥bvio a hereditariedade existe. Por vezes fazemos a seguinte quest√£o, porque existimos, quem somos n√≥s, onde vivemos, s√£o quest√Ķes que trazem a d√ļvida de viver, mas sabemos que temos de vencer, foi tudo programado para assim ser, prossegui, o meu caminho prisional, mais tarde depois da briga do marc√£o seguiu-se o aparecimento do grupo que compunha os servi√ßos de vigil√Ęncia chamados guardas prisionais, apanhei bons indiv√≠duos, apanhei de tudo, mas sinceramente eles tamb√©m s√≥ queriam viver, nunca quiseram me prejudicar e eu quis ignorar, l√° est√°, cedo n√£o aprendi que nem sempre se pode ganhar, estava num local in√≥spito, um local em que a vida nada valia, n√£o tinha interesse em valorizar o verdadeiro sentido do homem que n√£o seja o servir.
Servi, servi tudo o que tinha de servir, fui obediente, sabia que no poder pol√≠tico, no poder social, no poder repressivo existe sempre uma coisa, temos de saber perdoar. Eu poderia ter sido um her√≥i aclamado por eles, regresso a vale de judeus at√© ser expulso do curso, regresso a de vale judeus, ao linh√≥ encontrei a mesma chefia pois eles eram aquilo que eu n√£o queria encontrar, revoltei-me contra tudo e todos por tudo o que tinha passado, foi feito assim, vivi com tudo o que eu poderia ter que fazer para ter que sobreviver a tudo o que pudesse enfrentar porque os inimigos eram poderosos eram as m√°quinas consumidoras de tudo, eram apelidados de piranhas, ou seja, tinha que sobreviver a tudo, existia a parte diplom√°tica, o estabelecimento das rela√ß√Ķes, ou seja, temos uma educadora, temos uma assistente, uma psic√≥loga, uma m√©dica e uma advogada, o que nos vale isso se realmente n√£o houver nada para dizer. Apenas o conviver o momento da circunst√Ęncia do momento, s√£o simples humanos que se satisfazem a seu belo prazer e tive amores, amores plat√īnicos que se intrometem no meio do ser, neste caso um homem, j√° tinha tido todos os prazeres da vida, amei uma mulher que ainda permanece no meu esp√≠rito na minha alma no meu viver, foi uma paix√£o intensa, das rela√ß√Ķes mais duradouras que possam existir, que s√£o prolongadas. Amorosas, divertidas, amar o ser √© a necessidade de amar o ser a seu belo prazer para sobreviver. O relato √© direto √† ultima circunst√Ęncia do ser, j√° todos me conheciam, quiseram-me meter √† prova, enfrentei tudo que tinha que poder enfrentar, desde os piores pesadelos, que aprendemos antes do deitar, s√£o hist√≥rias contadas do pai e da m√£e, para que possamos viver em harmonia e bem- estar para poderem prevalecer o bem-estar e poder-mos preservar os dons da hereditariedade dos prim√≥rdios do ser, tudo embora esteja absorvido pelo tamanho, a vastid√£o √© imensa se falarmos da uni√£o, a igualdade dos direitos de ser. Todos n√≥s fomos incumbidos numa miss√£o, ela persiste, continuar√° a crescer, continuarei a v√™-la crescer, com garra, precis√£o dos momentos da a√ß√£o, para isso terei de ter exatid√£o. √Č com perd√£o, continuei a vida conforme tinha de continuar e apanhei gente honesta, verdadeira, foi tudo grande, apanhei gente capaz de tudo, estavam determinados a tudo, pois eu tinha o sentido de viver como eles tinham, mas eles queriam ser mais espertos, ultrapassei-os em tudo, eu soube conjugar a esperteza deles comigo com a minha sabedoria, eram astutos, mas quiseram sempre ser mais do que eu, mas eu conjuguei a esperteza deles, soube jogar, joguei tamb√©m com o saber deles com o meu. Prossegui vivendo em reclus√£o, enclausurado, foi um tempo duro, por mais beleza que eu pudesse ver, por mais compaix√£o que eu tivesse que ter, sabia que o caminho era um, sair. Nunca quis prejudicar ningu√©m, apenas desejei que me deixassem viver, parti ent√£o para a batalha que era constante, pois todos eles eram fortes, todos eram seres, mas eu quis saber disso, nem tive nada a ver com o resto da hist√≥ria que se vai passar. Fui duro para os meus companheiros, para todos eles, n√£o escolhi ningu√©m apenas quis manter a hierarquia da pris√£o e mantive, todos me obedeciam se eu assim quisesse, mas eu tamb√©m os deixei viver, foi √† minha maneira, droga para eu fumar e eles podiam andar bem, houve quem me chorasse para eu parar pois o caminho era bravo, um caminho duro para se fazer dentro da pris√£o, n√£o tinha outra hip√≥tese, era sem escape, vencer ou morrer. Foi tudo feito pela condena√ß√£o que eu levei, consegui apesar de tudo isso, encontrar o caminho duro, sabia que poderia sair no meio da pena, poderia saber que tamb√©m podia sair no final da pena, inverti tudo, ou seja, n√£o me preocupei, porque estava bem, tinha a cadeia sob meu comando, foram todos os meus companheiros, foi a√≠ que eu me enfureci mais pelo sentido do ser, sabia que tinha aliados. Prossegui o caminho da maldade, fui interpretado como tal, julguei-me o le√£o, mas estava viciado na hero√≠na, uma coisa dura de se fazer, de se consumir. Parti para o combate, o combate que n√£o existe igual, enfrentei: ju√≠zes e educadoras e assistentes, chefe de guardas, beneficiei algumas vezes com eles, mas n√£o foram muitas, mas n√£o foram suficientes para dizer que estava bem, pois o seguimento da quest√£o, trouxe-me um problema, o problema maior de todo o ser, sou ou n√£o sou, quero ou n√£o quero, ou seja, tudo o que n√≥s podemos ambicionar, foi a continua√ß√£o de tudo, tinha aprendido, melhor ainda, tinha vivido uma situa√ß√£o ap√≥s a separa√ß√£o do meu pai e da minha m√£e. O meu pai era militar, a minha m√£e na altura n√£o trabalhava, depois veio a trabalhar na limpeza do curry e cabral, ainda trabalha l√°. Gostava da minha m√£e, n√£o aprendi a viver com o meu pai, ou seja, vivi, mas fiquei sempre com a d√ļvida, porque ele n√£o tinha bom car√°cter, ou seja, o car√°cter era inconstante, era militar desempenhava fun√ß√Ķes no estado portugu√™s, eu ambicionava mais, ou seja, mais do que aquilo que ele construiu. Contudo gerou-se a hereditariedade, melhor explicando a habitua√ß√£o ao sermos pequenos, temos sempre em conta que quem nos d√°, ser√° aquilo que todos os fil√≥sofos disseram, a aproxima√ß√£o ao exemplo dos pais, porque o exemplo que nos √© dado quando nascemos √© aquele exemplo de seguir de quem nos p√Ķe ao mundo, neste caso ser√° um caso global, havendo pai e m√£e, foi a obra a conclus√£o de eu crescer. Tornei-me naquilo que sou, um ser humilde, pac√≠fico que sabe viver, sou considerado um tipo, aquele que caminha e tem de se alimentar, tornei-me na verdadeira fera, nunca mais encarei a cadeia da mesma maneira, tornei-me o assassino perfeito de todas as situa√ß√Ķes pois estava para viver, e eles sabiam que eu estava disposto a matar para viver, escolheram como sempre o verdadeiro tipo, aquele que domina todas as situa√ß√Ķes, jurei a mim mesmo que n√£o lhes faria mal se eles n√£o me fizessem mal. Prossegui, enfurecido, sempre atento a todos movimentos, ou rea√ß√Ķes, fossem eles de quem fossem, a n√≠vel global de companheiros, dire√ß√£o a n√≠vel de tudo que engloba todo o ser no mundo da justi√ßa, por tudo isso paguei um pre√ßo dif√≠cil de pagar por tudo isso foi tudo posto no meu acontecimento, todos me conheciam e eu tamb√©m os conhecia a todos, era a perfei√ß√£o do jogo, era a uni√£o, a uni√£o de quem convive e est√° em contato diariamente com a popula√ß√£o, independentemente, da situa√ß√£o; como tigre que era n√£o sabia perdoar, eles temiam-me na verdade, eram respeitadores para comigo, n√£o era de nada fazer, estamos a falar de uma pris√£o, estamos a falar de muita coisa, engloba um valor que √© dif√≠cil de ganhar, liberdade, a n√£o ser que n√£o tenhamos que passar por situa√ß√Ķes mais dif√≠ceis da vida vicia√ß√Ķes, habitua√ß√Ķes que podem trazer o exagero quando falamos do consumismo, somo seres consumistas, como tal tornei-me a fera invenc√≠vel autointitulei-me de le√£o, lutei contra feras iguais a mim, com sabedorias at√© mais duras, mas eu n√£o sabia perdoar.
Sabia que havia muitos filhos da m√£e e as experi√™ncia da vida tinham sido diferentes, uns tinham sido filhos de boa gente e outros tinham sido filhos de m√° gente, como tudo isto quero confirmar a presen√ßa de tudo que a sociedade tem para dar, deixam caminhar situa√ß√Ķes id√™nticas sem nada fazer, cada um precisa de bem- estar, vivemos numa sociedade em que todos querem bem, contudo √© a beleza de ver o pr√≥ximo, a proximidade, se vieres por bem, vou-te receber bem, se vieres por mal, mal te receberei e levar√°s com tudo, de todo o meu mal de ser, mas tamb√©m sei que tenho de caminhar, n√£o posso ser t√£o duro, eles s√£o mais que s m√£es, eu tamb√©m tinha que respeitar, implantei uma regra para todos estarem bem, sabendo que o crime persiste e a necessidade √© grande, deixei-me levar pelos acontecimentos, tornei-me no chamado toxicodependente, aquele que todos desprezam, mas tinha valor e era reconhecido, ningu√©m, ningu√©m me iria faltar ao respeito, independentemente, da fraqueza que sentia no momento. Todos eles me aclamaram e respeitaram, queriam mais de mim, teria de ser o exemplo, teria de ser bondoso, mais d√≥cil e afetuoso.
Paguei o pre√ßo de n√£o lhes mostrar aquilo que eles queriam ver de mim, fui duro, fui mal educado, fui tudo em prol da minha decis√£o, poderia ter ganho mais, poderia at√© beneficiar de mais em tudo, gostavam de mim, chegavam- me a contar at√© os pr√≥prios sonhos, mas eu tornei-me a fera e queria ser. Foi por for√ßa da situa√ß√£o que vivia, do enclausuramento, do isolamento, tinha mulheres tamb√©m era tudo subjugado com o amor plat√īnico, amei-as, amo-as.
Foi tudo uma quest√£o de viver o momento, tive grandes paix√Ķes plat√īnicas e amorosas tamb√©m ao ponto de ter o contato, mas eu evitei sempre estragar a vida de algu√©m para eu obter o belo prazer, n√£o achei necessidade disso, eu j√° estava preso, n√£o iria estragar a vida de ningu√©m se n√£o estragassem a minha. Continuei apaixonado, continuei a amar como s√≥ sabia ser, foram todos, pertenceram ao meu amar, pois eles amavam-me, sinceramente, respeitavam-me, eu √© que n√£o vivia bem, estava preso, sabia que tinha de lutar para conquistar tudo o que tinha perdido, a liberdade, mas foi a√≠ que eu n√£o soube parar, dire√ß√Ķes, assistentes, educadoras, guardas quiseram-me fazer amansar, teria compreendido, mas eu tamb√©m tinha de parar, parar com tudo, o roubar, o consumir, o desgra√ßar a vida do outro, mas fui sempre bom, nunca maltratei, nunca espanquei ningu√©m se n√£o tivesse raz√£o para o fazer e mesmo que a tivesse iria ser dif√≠cil de eu o fazer, pela humanidade em si, levei sempre em conta os valores morais, os valores de cada cena, pois eu tamb√©m sou ser, mas eles sabiam que iam ter a maior fera que alguma vez encontraram, mas foi tudo programado por mim, porque eu assim o quis, deixei-os na expectativa, no receio de eles virem a perder. Tratava-se tudo de expediente, era um expediente de levantar, consumir e dominar, cedo percebi isso, mesmo antes de entrar na cadeia, foram horas dif√≠ceis, dias que nunca mais passavam, anos que eu tinha de cumprir, dominei porque tinha de controlar a situa√ß√£o que vinha a seguir, cheguei a brincar, mas a brincadeira ia-me saindo cara. Porque o macaco a brincar, a brincar foi o macaco √† cona √† m√£e, eu ia morrendo numa brincadeira, pois eu sabia dominar. Estava no exerc√≠cio do dia, queria treinar um bocado e propus-lhe que viesse treinar comigo,era uma fraca figura, era s√≥ por divers√£o, apertei-lhe o pesco√ßo, ele perdeu os sentidos, mas naquele momento senti um aperto em mim que n√£o queria fazer, como estava a ser demonstrado, brinquei, olhei para ele levantei-me e ele caminhou comigo, disse-lhe se estava tudo bem, n√£o houve resposta em contradi√ß√£o, mas quando o olhei fiquei com a sensa√ß√£o de que realmente tinha-se passado alguma coisa, por ele perder os sentidos. Foi um excesso da confian√ßa, n√£o sabia a minha for√ßa e a√≠ come√ßou um inferno que j√° havia tido, levantei-me e olhei para ele e disse-lhe:
- est√°s bem? Deixaste-me preocupado.
Sempre lhe mostrei compaixão pelo momento, não o quis magoar, olhei-o quis apaziguar todo o mal, tinha-o mal entendido do treino, foi exagerado da minha parte, ele acabou por matar-se, foi tudo na esperança de um dia em vale de judeus.
Fiquei na esperança que em vale de judeus iria viver, foi uma simples diversão para mim, ou seja, foi um treino ao qual eu não estava preparado, a minha força estava no auge, dominava, porque sabia dominar, mas como na vida tem o seu preço, paguei um preço elevado por homem demais dentro da cadeia, cumpri até 5/6 da pena, ou seja, qualquer recluso desde que uma pena superior a seis anos pode usufruir do 5/6, é uma lei.
Mas temos o meio da pena, uns 2/3 e a seguir segue o 5/6. Sa√≠ no 5/6 foi tudo um programa feito em prol da minha biografia em vida de reclus√£o, enclausurado, lidei com boa gente, gente com quem eu negociava, faziam parte da chefia, gente at√© que eu poderia amar se assim quisesse, depois desde tabaco e n√£o passou da√≠ sentia um √≥dio imenso por aquela gente. Eram pessoas que nada me diziam, s√≥ a chefia pelas pr√≥prias fun√ß√Ķes que desempenhava. Havia um subchefe que eu muito estimava, foi a primeira mulher a ter um desafio meu, fui leal, mas depois pensei que errei foi ela que me recusou a primeira sa√≠da prec√°ria em 10 anos de reclus√£o. Ela n√£o me apreciou e exigiu o meu teste de consumo a estupefacientes, mas era astuto demais para perceber que aquilo iria ficar por ali, foi-me concedida a sa√≠da prec√°ria ap√≥s um requerimento que eu fiz √† doutora ju√≠za. Ela concedeu-me quatro dias de sa√≠da prec√°ria, na condi√ß√£o de ser ouvido pela chefia, e eles acima ordenaram, doutora ju√≠za concedeu-lhe quatro dias de sa√≠da prec√°ria, prolongada na condi√ß√£o de fazer o teste de despistagem de estupefacientes, ou seja, a manobra, eles sempre souberam, e eu tamb√©m o subestimei muitas vezes, mas respeitei-o sempre, porque merecia o meu respeito. Eram seres que desempenhavam a sua melhor fun√ß√£o, mas aconteceu, o teste foi dado positivo pelo consumo de opi√°ceos, isto √© hero√≠na, cannabis, consumo de haxixe, mas eu jogava a meu favor quando meti o requerimento, aleguei tudo aquilo que tinha de alegar, pois era consumidor, tinha pedido um medicamento √† minha doutora ana f., pois foi debaixo, ou por cima de uma discuss√£o acesa que lhe procurei ajuda, por tudo em aquilo que ela me tinha ajudado, pedi-lhe o medicamento, chamado tramal, foi o momento em que senti que tinha uma aliada doutora ana f. Ou o tramal acusava opi√°ceos nas circunst√Ęncias das rotinas, esta era a situa√ß√£o em que estaria limpo. Tinha acusado opi√°ceos, no teste de despistagem de estupefacientes, foi a√≠ que conjuguei 2+2, ou seja, limpei da despistagem de drogas atrav√©s da minha m√©dica, ela ajudou-me, passou o documento de afirma√ß√£o √† quest√£o, o despiste de estupefacientes como eu interp√īs recurso da decis√£o que tinha sido feita, o meu direito era recorrer, recorri e requeri para a inst√Ęncia m√°xima doutora ju√≠za do tribunal de execu√ß√£o de penas, √© a inst√Ęncia m√°xima para que os reclusos sejam mandados em liberdade, com o benef√≠cio de usufruir do meio da pena 2/3, gerou-se a√≠ uma batalha, agredi fisicamente um guarda prisional, n√£o foi porque eu quisesse, ele procurou a minha fama era grande de uma plenitude num meio prisional, respeitado, mas tamb√©m constru√≠ este respeito, respeitar, ao respeitar sabia que n√£o podia jogar contra o sistema. O sistema prevalece por si porque tem que haver ordem social, tudo aquilo que a gente possa querer, o bem-estar, as decis√Ķes foram diversas, tive tudo, tudo ao meu alcance para conseguir usufruir do meio da pena 2/3, como a minha fama era vasta no meio dos guardas e no meio dos companheiros, havia guardas que tamb√©m me queriam desafiar e tudo a n√≠vel psicol√≥gico, f√≠sico e tudo mais que se possa pensar, pois sabia que poderia acontecer nas inst√Ęncias que tinha de seguir, s√£o chamadas as audi√ß√Ķes para no meio da pena 2/3 e 5/6 tamb√©m, o requerimento se baseou na limpeza do meu relat√≥rio face √† quest√£o do despiste de cannabis; nesse requerimento disse √† doutora ju√≠za que as an√°lises tinham acusado chamon ou haxixe, mas como eu sou um ser social, nunca vivi em prote√ß√Ķes dentro da cadeia, ou seja tinha-me que relacionar com o resto da popula√ß√£o prisional e disse √† doutora ju√≠za que eu n√£o consumia nada na altura, apenas deu como resultado o haxixe, por isso era l√≥gico se eu acompanhava com pessoas que consumiam e convivia-mos num espa√ßo fechado, era normal√≠ssimo eu acusar haxixe pois respirava o ar. Adiaram-me a decis√£o da sa√≠da prec√°ria, pois era na altura do natal, e doutora ju√≠za ia passar fora duas semanas, ou seja, f√©rias de natal, mas ela deu-me a raz√£o e deu-me a prec√°ria passados quase dois meses e meio, foi um tempo longo de ang√ļstia, pois ambicionava sair de prec√°ria, pois j√° estava dentro a muitos anos, dez anos. Mas ultrapassei e aguentei-me bem at√© o dia de sair de prec√°ria, deu-me quatro dias de sa√≠da de prec√°ria prolongada, pela qual foi cumprido com √™xito. Mas iria ser, um tema mais duro para mim, pois teria de ser mais respeitador e n√£o me meter em problemas, mas logo quando entrei, passados dois meses depois de ter gozado a prec√°ria, haveria algu√©m que me desejaria atrapalhar a vida e aconteceu. Envolvi-me numa briga no qual o rapaz ficou um bocado mal tratado, mas tive a sorte de ele ser um indiv√≠duo, ser um individuo com report√≥rio de homem, fomos fechados nas celas, √† ordem do inqu√©rito, com isto fomos ouvidos, eu enviei-lhe um papel a pedir-lhe desculpa para que ele n√£o me entalasse, n√£o havia necessidade disso. Fomos ouvidos, o chefe que nos ouviu, era o pastor alem√£o, a alcunha dele, ao princ√≠pio ele n√£o queria ouvir o rapaz, porque dizia que aquilo n√£o podia ser, n√£o podia ter sido uma brincadeira, pois ele tinha-me tentado dar com uma faca. Depois l√° conseguiu aceitar a vers√£o do rapaz e chamou-me a mim e eu contei-lhe a mesma vers√£o, que foi um treino, uma brincadeira, que podia ter acabado mal, ele tamb√©m n√£o aceitou muito bem a vers√£o que eu lhe tinha dito, ou seja, como ele era um guarda batida, j√° tinha muitos anos de servi√ßo e a lidar com ‚Äúcasdatrolas‚ÄĚ, ou seja, √© o nome dado a quem j√° tem muitos anos de cadeia, nada me aconteceu nem a mim, nem ao rapaz, tiraram-nos do castigo.
Prossegui uma vida normal, comecei a evitar ainda mais os problemas, consegui gozar mais quatro saídas precárias com êxito, e aí surgiu novamente, março de 2007, faltavam-me 11 dias para poder gozar mais uma saída precária, na entrada do mês de abril, eu tinha enganado um indivíduo com droga, ou seja, dei-lhe areia em vez do verdadeiro material, ele veio à carga, eu não o podia agredir senão seria sancionado desta vez, já tinha sido avisado, limitei-me a defender e as coisas ficaram por ali.
Mas um problema nunca vem s√≥, deixei passar aquilo, foi o que aconteceu no adv√©m desta raz√£o, desenrolou-se aquilo que n√£o podia ter desenrolado, novamente uma riga, mas desta vez n√£o me iria safar, iriam-me cortar as prec√°rias e foi isso que aconteceu. Chamei um indiv√≠duo √† minha cela para tirar informa√ß√Ķes pois tamb√©m este indiv√≠duo n√£o gostava da minha maneira de ser, e tinha jurado ao homem que me deu a informa√ß√£o, o nuno maluco, um verdadeiro guerreiro, ele tamb√©m gozava prec√°rias como eu, tinha-lhe jurado pelo meu sobrinho, que eu n√£o iria fazer nada, que apenas queria saber o nome, insisti durante um dia inteiro na promessa que nada iria fazer, est√°vamos quase na hora do encerramento das celas, chamei o indiv√≠duo √† minha cela perguntei-lhe a raz√£o de ele andar a falar de uma coisa que n√£o tinha visto, ele desmentiu eu sabia que o nuno maluco jamais me iria mentir numa situa√ß√£o destas, foi um dos homens que sempre respeitei, pois ele tamb√©m era um verdadeiro guerreiro, senti raiva dele me desmentir e desmentir o nuno. Agredi-o e foi na altura que o guarda entra na minha cela e v√™ o homem inanimado no ch√£o, pelo soco que lhe desferi, mas o guarda nada viu, apenas viu o homem ca√≠do, n√£o podia afirmar nada sem ter presenciado, mas esse indiv√≠duo era um chibo, isso √© que iria complicar a minha situa√ß√£o, mas mesmo assim eu sabia que n√£o me iria safar muito bem, pois eu nunca tinha chibado ningu√©m, e eles de mim, a dire√ß√£o, a chefia estavam desejosos de me sancionar por tudo, pois eu nunca me calei nas reivindica√ß√Ķes que os presos faziam para reclamar fosse o que fosse. Fui sempre visto como tal, um incentivador para estas causas ou formas de luta e foi a√≠ que me deram cinco dias de castigo, cumpri-os na cela, foi um castigo menos pesado, defendi-me alegando que o indiv√≠duo se tinha sentido mal e caiu e ele dizia a vers√£o dele, de que realmente tinha sido espancado e isto acontece numa altura em que estava quase para ser apreciado os meus 2/3. Teria grandes hip√≥teses de sair n√£o havendo nada que me prejudicasse, ou seja, sem san√ß√Ķes disciplinares no meio. Mas desta vez teria mesmo que alegar, inoc√™ncia quando fosse ouvido para os 2/3, disse √† senhora doutora que estava inocente que n√£o tinha feito agress√£o nenhuma, que n√£o levasse isso em conta, sentia-me prejudicado pela situa√ß√£o, mas esperei pela decis√£o e a decis√£o foi cortada a possibilidade de eu sair aos 2/3 passando diretamente s√≥ poder usufruir de nova aprecia√ß√£o, de aprecia√ß√£o dos meus 5/6 da pena, ou seja, sairia de obriga√ß√£o nos 5/6 porque a√≠ a lei favorece, favorecia neste caso, sairia de qualquer forma nos 5/6, mas iria custar quase mais 3 anos de reclus√£o, em vez de partir para a insist√™ncia de interpor um recurso que anulasse a decis√£o da doutora ju√≠za para ter nova aprecia√ß√£o antes dos 5/6, para isso teria que andar no m√≠nimo seis meses sossegado. O castigo foi-me dado em mar√ßo, fui ouvido em maio do mesmo ano, para aprecia√ß√£o da condicional, ainda n√£o tinha vindo a decis√£o do corte dos 2/3, foi a√≠ que a minha vida se poderia ter complicado ainda mais, sentia-me angustiado, triste, mas sabia tamb√©m que j√° tinha passado o grosso da minha condena√ß√£o. Foi quando aconteceu mais uma situa√ß√£o, desta vez com um guarda, poderia ser uma situa√ß√£o que poderia ter passado, n√£o fosse o fato do guarda me ter falado de uma forma √°spera e dura, n√£o acatei a ordem dele, desferi-lhe um soco no rosto, ele estava sozinho comigo, mas apareceu outro guarda, ele juntou-se muito r√°pido ao colega e juntaram-se em mim para me agredir, j√° n√£o lhe desferi mais soco nenhum, eles tamb√©m depressa pararam com a tentativa de me agredir, apenas me pediram para ir para a sala de espera da enfermaria, vieram chefes falar comigo, a perguntar o que se tinha passado, eu disse- lhes que n√£o aconteceu nada, apenas que n√£o tinha acatado a ordem, pois como o guarda ainda sangrava da boca, sabiam que tinha sido uma agress√£o fosse de que maneira fosse, de uma simples agress√£o ou para uma situa√ß√£o acidental e foi isso que eu lhes disse, n√£o tinha raz√£o para agredir o guarda, at√© falava bem com ele, disse-lhes tamb√©m que tinha sido um acidente e foi com essa mat√©ria que eu sempre aleguei.
Puseram-me fechado à espera do inquérito, chamada seção de segurança de vale de judeus, chamada de admissão. Mas estava disposto ir com a minha tese avante de que realmente tinha sido um acidente, não poderia admitir que foi um ato involuntário, teria perdido. Então tive que me basear no sentido de que se queria levar esta tese avante, tinha de haver uma contradição entre os guardas. O guarda leite foi o agredido, mas ele também nunca escreveu de que realmente eu lhe agredi, quem fez a participação foi o outro guarda, que tinha levado lá um rapaz que estava na proteção, ele tinha ido à enfermaria também, é a rotina, estando o recluso em proteção, terá de ser acompanhado por guardas, realmente eu sei que ele viu o que eu fiz, pois ele presenciou tudo, então foi ele que me fez a participação para ser punido com uma sanção disciplinar que me levou a tribunal também.
Mas no dia em que fui ouvido no minist√©rio p√ļblico, fiquei a conhecer que tinha sido instaurado um processo por uma suposta agress√£o ao guarda leite, mas quem me acompanhou nesse dia, foi o guarda oliveira, a hist√≥ria deste guarda comigo, foi uma amizade que criei dentro da cadeia, frequentava um curso de aplica√ß√Ķes de escrit√≥rio a n√≠vel inform√°tico, tinha uma monitora chamada lina, eu apaixonei-me por ela sem querer e esse guarda, o oliveira, tamb√©m gostava dela e levou o corte dela. Ele sabia que eu gostava de ela e ela gostava de mim, por isso come√ßou a√≠ o la√ßo, ganhou-me amizade, poderia ter falado mal de mim no intuito de querer ficar com ela, come√ßou a falar mais comigo, e ele a ouvir as minhas declara√ß√Ķes no minist√©rio p√ļblico, e ele anotou tudo o que eu tinha dito, mantive a tese de que tinha sido um acidente, pois nunca eu iria imaginar que esse guarda me iria ajudar, ficou a gostar de mim, depois disso foi parar a monsanto, uma cadeia que foi remodelada de uma cadeia comum para uma cadeia de alta seguran√ßa, foi a√≠ em maio de 2007 que a cadeia foi inaugurada, entretanto fui para monsanto por ter de aguardar pelo desenrolar do processo, uma cadeia complicada foi feita para albergar terroristas, crimes mais violentos, organiza√ß√Ķes criminosas, somos sempre vigiados, constantemente, pois vivemos num regime mais severo, ou seja, a princ√≠pio os presos eram todos algemados para sair da cela, s√≥ tinham uma hora de recreio por dia. Mas eu s√≥ fui para l√° em maio de 2008, levei tamb√©m com esse regime de estar muito tempo fechado na cela, mas eu j√° n√£o apanhei as algemas, apanhei j√° um regime que n√£o √© aberto, mas que t√≠nhamos outras ocupa√ß√Ķes, t√≠nhamos futebol, handebol e gin√°sio, pod√≠amos frequentar a biblioteca tamb√©m, mas era tudo intercalado, n√£o era tudo no mesmo dia.

Fui responder e voltei a defender a mesma tese, mas quando sa√≠ da carrinha para me dirigir √† sala de audi√™ncia, vejo que o guarda leite, o ofendido estava acompanhado do guarda oliveira e estava a longe de imaginar que teria uma surpresa linda quando comecei a ouvir o depoimento do guarda leite, ouvi a tese que eu tinha defendido quando fui inquirido no minist√©rio p√ļblico e foi a√≠ que senti que o guarda oliveira me tinha ajudado. O tribunal tamb√©m alegou que n√£o ficaram convictos de que realmente foi um acidente, mas fizeram o que lhe competia, n√£o havendo prova em contr√°rio, ningu√©m pode ser condenado. Fui absolvido e a minha advogada foi excelente tamb√©m, como tinha ficado √† espera do julgamento na cadeia de alta seguran√ßa de monsanto, fizeram-me uma avalia√ß√£o, faltava-me exatamente dois meses para sair em liberdade e transferiram-me para o i.p. De alcoentre, j√° tinha l√° passado nessa cadeia, tive uma transfer√™ncia que foi no seguimento de v√°rias reivindica√ß√Ķes que eu j√° tinha feito na cadeia, √© uma cadeia de regime aberto chamada a col√īnia prisional, ao faltarem-me dois meses mandaram-me novamente para ali, para sair para a rua, sa√≠.
Como a minha vontade era grande de estar numa cadeia de regime aberto, pois levei um ano e meio em monsanto e por mais ocupa√ß√Ķes que n√≥s tenhamos ali, √© um regime muito fechado.
Dif√≠cil de ultrapassar, mesmo eu que j√° tinha larga experi√™ncia dentro destas casas pris√Ķes e foi exatamente a√≠ em monsanto que larguei a hero√≠na, era imposs√≠vel entrar ali droga porque n√£o entrava g√™neros alimentares nem nada que fosse do exterior, a visita tinha um vidro que n√£o permitia o contato f√≠sico, mas sempre disse para comigo de todo o mal que me aconteceu tive um benef√≠cio larguei o consumo de hero√≠na.

*** encerramento ***

Pink floyd - us and them
“ us and them
And after all we’re only ordinary men
Me and you
God only knows
It’s not what we would choose to do forward he cried from the rear and the front rank died
And the general sat and the lines on the map moved from side to side black and blue
And who knows which is which and who is who
Up and down
And in the end it‚Äôs only round ‚Äėn round haven‚Äôt you heard it‚Äôs a battle of words the poster bearer cried
Listen son, said the man with the gun
There’s room for you inside
‚Äúi mean, they‚Äôre not gonna kill ya, so if you give ‚Äėem a quick short, sharp, shock, they won‚Äôt do it again. Dig it? I mean he get off lightly, ‚Äėcause i would‚Äôve given him a thrashing - i only hit him once! It was only a difference
Of opinion, but really...i mean good manners don‚Äôt cost nothing do they, eh?‚ÄĚ
Down and out
It can’t be helped that there’s a lot of it about
With, without
And who’ll deny it’s what the fighting’s all about?
Out of the way
It’s a busy day
I’ve got things on my mind for the want of the price of tea and a slice “
The old man died
Copyright © pink Floyd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fragmentos

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fragmentos i 

Enclausurado e exposto num norte gelado um len√ßol antigo √† espera de se enrolar uma luz queimada em tons laranja um cobertor aquecido quanto esquecido a alma que exige e tolera os frios electrizantes de uma mem√≥ria solta, n√£o ligada ficcional e existencial, o som propaga-se o quente do ritmo solta-se tempo de invadir o eu e explorar sem calor um mundo quente em arrefecimento, a atmosfera n√£o era a mesma a esfera rola para um canto um ponto inclinado sob o oceano da superf√≠cie, ao interior do magma escaldante √† selva do explorar e impressionar o impressionante do lazer e n√£o ter outra forma de o dizer s√£o palavras, palavras quentes ou muito frias, como o cad√°ver sombrio muito frio, eternamente gelado um sonhar quente de uma nascente e um vale, um rio sem riso uma esperan√ßa mutilada √† espera de se encontrar e mostrar o que ilude e alude ao criar devagar e mostrar o que s√≥ se imagina sem dist√Ęncia e com a devida equa√ß√£o se problematiza toda a quest√£o quente muito quente, mesmo escaldante o som da guitarra que vibra de sede de uma cultura em que nasce os seus frutos e mais ou menos astutos sem perdi√ß√£o resolvem a situa√ß√£o agora existencialmente parado, afectado pela morbidez das palavras que transmitem a surdez do sil√™ncio, que dizem cuidado aos mais a cuidados isto √© levantar a suspeita do n√£o dito mas eficazmente transmitido sentido e escrito. Toda a verdade √© que n√£o h√° verdade entre o pensamento a ac√ß√£o e forma de se encontrar atrav√©s dos comportamentos que geram artif√≠cios e manobras ao pr√≥prio condutor, e v√™-se rendido √† ilus√£o da palavra sem sentido mas dita com raz√£o, √© inacredit√°vel por√©m toda a forma tem um acto subjacente ao puro infort√ļnio do inoportuno ver crescer e saber o que fazer uma situa√ß√£o que carece de algum sentido da pr√≥pria descri√ß√£o, vis√£o ou sentido, muitas vezes dizemos o que n√£o pensamos e ver que √© saber fazer e aprender com os demais e com sinais de igual ou parecido ou sob a forma de adi√ß√£o eis um exemplo de miss√£o qualquer sentido abstracto de forma n√£o realista era na sua verdade um totalista unit√°rio quanto car√°cter fragmentado mas unido de um mundo que √© parecido e como sempre temos a semelhan√ßa, mas n√£o a sua igualdade a√≠ poder√° estar um fundo de raz√£o e perdido no seu alheamento, eis um car√°cter pela forma de estar e sentir os calores que prov√™m do mesmo seu interior poder√° ser parecido com um pintor de uma forma de moldura t√£o recta como arquitecta, da raz√£o absoluta n√£o definitiva com que relativa a qualquer subjuga√ß√£o ou subvers√£o do imagin√°rio de uma simples realidade em que sa√≠a com naturalidade a sagacidade e acutil√Ęncia sem import√Ęncia, transportado pelo futuro que tudo tem de puro, como a realidade de um passado duro inconscientemente e consideravelmente exercia na sua ferocidade a viv√™ncia de uma palavra que imagina sempre uma imagem desola√ß√£o eis um momento captado pela aten√ß√£o munido de fragmentos eis que se junta o consciente ao presente invade em mim ser de escrever, omnipotente de n√£o ser claro t√£o recto como as linhas de um horizonte onde o sol se p√Ķe e esconde mergulhado e adormecido via-se vencido, mas nunca arrependido pois havia de voltar a nascer e ser o mais brilhante pois era o √ļnico, o sol manter√° a nossa viv√™ncia luminosa e de modo energ√©tico se p√Ķe em marcha em que todos os pormenores s√£o descritos √† m√≠nima sensibilidade s√≥ de acontecer e memorizar cada palavra com seu sentido e mantido no sil√™ncio da sua paci√™ncia, uma escura clarivid√™ncia, n√£o projectada, mas minorada de qualquer instinto n√£o racional, o ser que me invade n√£o sou o eu ele pr√≥prio se constr√≥i e mant√™m os pilares como um aquiles, sempre actual no mundo ficcional que nos se apresenta, sem que algu√©m esteja atenta esses espi√Ķes do eu s√£o os meus louvores da notoriedade, a √°spera realidade, de s√≥ aquecer os motores da locomotiva em que fazemos esta viagem muito louca e profunda em que o t√ļnel, poder√° n√£o voltar a ver o t√£o interior do seu escuro com a sa√≠da dessa imagem e um fim luminoso, a espera s√≥ de um fim o que nos motiva e nos impulsiona e uma for√ßa inquebr√°vel algo t√£o fascin√°veis como nada fi√°vel, dif√≠cil de saber e nunca aprender era uma teia que se rompe por√©m, voltando a formar-se a teia, era resistente e como que um acidente na narra√ß√£o, havia um tiro de profundidade que o matara em tenra idade, o √≥dio subjacente mas nunca indiferente a algu√©m ou da sua mente ou qualquer gente, assim de uma forma inteligente dizia a toda a gente que somos todos a nossa soma, e que venha mais gente diferente e semelhante igual, ao seu car√°cter original, de facto h√° um fantoche a qualquer acto e da pe√ßa que represente, uma viagem perdida no espa√ßo das letras a arte de criar o espa√ßo √° pr√≥pria morte de qualquer ponto final, o culminar nunca foi o fim, o morrer para n√≥s nunca acontece s√≥ acontece aos que nos conhece e quando morremos nunca sabemos era uma palavra que n√£o tinha fim mas simples e engenhosa um pouco manhosa como a raposa que se quer alimentar de uma fome incomensur√°vel do que √© aprender, e quer sempre mais saber, a√≠ esta a fonte da longevidade, nunca saber o que n√£o acontece, e por√©m no passado guardado foi alpinista e moveu a f√© da sua montanha, e os limites s√£o s√≥ o in√≠cio de um precip√≠cio uma juventude de atitude, supera qualquer altitude e quando descemos e vemos o quanto j√° alcan√ßamos na conquista s√≥ de conhecer, um pouco mais de ser e nunca querer perder e todos conseguimos voar a qualquer ponto em que nunca ca√≠mos por- que aprendemos a voar e imaginar tudo, mas tudo s√£o palavras fragmentos, ideias, e pensamentos. √Āguas fundas de t√£o profundas as artes de iludir aludindo a um tema sem certeza a maresia surge e como que por magia da leveza da energia e sentimental embebecido e ternurento de um pouco de mais um acrescento vindo de um s√≥ momento inconfund√≠vel e jamais invenc√≠vel pois a sua vit√≥ria era sempre a sua derrota e como que mais aprendia s√≥ de ser um vencido de mais um batalha em que nada diz e sente o sabor deslizante daquele a quem deu vit√≥ria, pois basta-nos aprender e saber viver com tudo o que nos rejeitam.

Fragmentos ii

Mergulhado, afundado, ao longe um v√£o de escada rangem os degraus met√°licos um trapo de limpeza, um balde no ch√£o, quadrados em m√°rmore, nas paredes unidas em quatro, um gota-a-gota cai e na profundeza, levemente, algu√©m agita o andar luz fosca, desamparada, um s√≥ entupir da superf√≠cie um raio de luz com efeito de sombra, reflecti- do no vidro um rosto, um olhar ao estilha√ßar, um s√≥ mergulho, naufragado, emergente a b√≥ia que me salva do sufoco, louco, evadido e perdido entre estrelas e o vazio de abismo virtude em termos de atitude, em plenitude do sofrer e ser, antes de temer, ent√£o largo o piano na estrada descida sobrevoa o alcatr√£o o piano estava no ch√£o e ent√£o que toca o primeiro som, a primeira imagem o som do eco profundo do vazio de uma barbatana que nada em √°gua, finalmente salto, encorpado de mo movimento e tudo o que sopra e √© arrastado, para uma ilus√£o desvaneceste, era diferente, por um momento num oceano de profundez, l√≠quida e salgada a escrita do l√°pis sem cor, era um actor o espect√°culo culmina em festa de um presente que me deixa contente, um pijama na cama, um leito derramado efervescente e diferente, era uma imagem sem paisagem, tudo de uma inala√ß√£o, altera√ß√£o da percep√ß√£o, e a transmuta√ß√£o era evidente, sem rasgos, sem linhas, sem normas, sem algo faltando tudo no nada, um conto, que n√£o cresce n√£o aparece, dificilmente se narra e estamos atados, verdade, correntes e cadeados por todos os lados uma fisga, um alvo e fica-se estupefacto como uma seta sem alcance, um la√ßo num n√≥ uma escrita derramada, incontinente, uma escrita borrada, nunca apagada, tudo o que via queria e quem tem queria sempre ter, e no fundo n√£o passaria de um ser, cortante e laminada a √°spera barba, um s√≥ bigode, um cabelo, um e mais um de cada rosto, um toque, de cada insolv√™ncia seu pecado, de sua intemporalidade at√© ao presente e eis que totaliza s√≥ e s√≥ um pano no seu balde, uma gota no oceano, um fio amarrado e uma escrita violada e dilacerada, trechos somente textos em papel uma noite brilhante feito de um instante um sol irradioso e caloroso, uma telha luminosa e um espelho para ver diferente, ent√£o da leve ilus√£o, a gota que ca√≠a no ch√£o e tudo sem um n√£o, ent√£o sa√≠a √† superf√≠cie a leitura de uma ternura em que o pano abafando de um mergulho se estende √† raz√£o e vem tudo √† quest√£o, o brilho a intensidade da sensa√ß√£o da situa√ß√£o fica evidente que ap√≥s profanada e acorrentado se torna livre de qualquer arb√≠trio ou sinaliza√ß√£o‚Ķuma janela aberta em cortina fechada um ver o teatro do pr√≥prio palco uma prancha, um nadador-salvador, eis a fortuna, salvo, ent√£o na areia estendido, vi terra e vivi, desde a√≠ o momento do mergulho, todo o orgulho incandesce e desc√≠amos ao fundo de um mundo, de ver uma simples can√ß√£o, torn√°-la em satisfa√ß√£o, de repente um golpe, uma vis√£o, todos vivemos a realidade de uma entre outra premoni√ß√£o algo que iria acontecer e iria suceder o espasmo do liberto e desperto para o ser que sente e de uma letra de um soneto nunca perfeito de uma rima desanexada, corria uma s√≥ frase daquela fase, portanto onde ir√≠amos sem sairmos e onde est√°vamos sem entrar, na linha do desaparecimento misterioso um p√≥ na sujidade um ponto de verdade na ilus√£o de toda imagina√ß√£o ent√£o explode o cometa, e neste planeta viver nem sempre √© treta, com uma base suspeita a intriga estava montada, o plano n√£o aborta ent√£o oi√ßo uma voz absorta, e o uivo da letra √© lobo da hist√≥ria, da perfei√ß√£o √† destrui√ß√£o era contido um foguete num estrelar √† beira-mar t√£o esquisito aquilo que j√° fora dito e come√ßo a descer a escada no v√£o do vazio um s√≥ largar de um degrau, ent√£o o corrim√£o de metal era autom√°tico e s√≥ um p√© no rio, descal√ßo e frio, tudo o que n√£o parece √© por ser tudo desaparece e esvanece. Todo o universal √© tal e qual, ent√£o s√≥ uma l√≠ngua, numa boca aberta pelo prazer sedento de te beijar eis que beijo e desejo, um trincar do teu olhar quando na viagem do teu barco encostar e um ver com verdade uma coisa, que n√£o √© irreal mas sim um imaginar, do teu nariz petiz um quente de sensa√ß√£o, e voa e conquista plut√£o, com o cora√ß√£o uma pedra no charco uma vida separada um retrato nem sempre fotografado eis que a loucura ia ter uma sanidade mental ia ao ponto onde tudo criara e de um beijo solto √† espera de se prender, com uma for√ßa s√≥ do existir, com uma convic√ß√£o, sempre amarrada ao seu cora√ß√£o, uma vontade de bombear e de um fluxo se imagina a corrente em que o caixote eram quatro paredes e um olhar de um filamento sem raz√£o √† espera de se iluminar a for√ßa, que n√£o teme, n√£o vence, nem perde, √© a vontade de criar e do vago mar com um pincel pintar todo o alfabeto com cada cor, a sua s√≠laba e a for√ßa, culmina na vontade de ir e ir e deixar-se ir, sobretudo construir um castelo na pedra sob a cascata e o rio na corrente levar tudo em frente, sobretudo tinha algo na mente, muito diferente do igual e um simples conto da viagem, da s√£ virtuosidade do que n√£o se v√™ mas se propaga ent√£o subi mais um degrau ainda a escada andava para tr√°s no avan√ßo de um passo e um levitar e s√≥ um tentar subir cada degrau a seu firme e convicto ar de imaginar o piano que se partiu no ch√£o do alcatr√£o s√≥ tinha uma tecla, e n√£o era d√≥ nem r√© era ter f√© no acreditar sempre um divulgar de estar e conseguir s√≥ mais um instante perfumado da paisagem quente no brilho do mar vejo-te a amar, no meu mergulho, foste a minha b√≥ia no naufr√°gio o meu barco no pano lavado que limpa o piano montado numa sala de estar onde ningu√©m queria estar e eu s√≥ queria era l√° entrar ent√£o na porta estava a sa√≠da de tudo o que imaginar√° e nunca aprofundar√°, era o desejo de te ter num la√ßo o cora√ß√£o e a teu par, ele tudo bombear e ent√£o o turbulento, √© menos sensato e no acto do bombardeamento j√° era acontecimento da guerra pela paz tudo unido com v√°rio sentido um partir no ir e expandir o que voltava e depois o p√°ssaro que canta e encanta s√≥ hoje aprendeu a sua m√ļsica nas letras, todas ordenadas sem coordenada a tarefa era trazer e no fim temer n√£o crer e enfim n√£o voltar essa viagem de todo o percurso j√° era profundidade da gota no telhado, da janela entreaberta e do frio, no escuro de um acto de um facto, nunca acontecido mas relatado e sup√Ķe-se inventado para ser pensado aquele emergir era s√≥ desabafar aquela √°gua era s√≥ sede do teu beijo num desejo s√≥ a ti tocar e o piano era parte de um plano para te tocar a nota que te conquistar√° um sentir agu√ßado uma l√Ęmina sem corte era uma escrita forte que n√£o golpear√° o j√° sentido uma amarra na noite solta de estrelas uma viagem sobre o futuro que n√£o chegar√°, o presente diferente do passado e era o golpe, era s√≥ uma hist√≥ria que tudo profanava e no fim deixava o que vinha de plut√£o para, escrever s√≥ o amor de um s√≥ cora√ß√£o entre dois muros imposs√≠veis de saltar, onde a cerca nada afastava, num c√≠rculo aberto, de um quadrado rectangular aquele n√≥ aquele aperto, do sacudir o p√≥ e ver o piano s√≥ tocar no teu d√≥ e no quarto escuro de uma imagem fotografada, pela pel√≠cula do rolo, pequenas imagens, em tons de fragmentos vejo que √©s tu reflectida num peda√ßo em que tudo se une porque te quero, reflectida √† minha imagem, s√≥ tu √©s a moldura do espelho.

O vulgar

Como sair desta dor que se imerge e agudiza o sofrer de um doer s√≥ e √ļnico. Bastava um olhar para sem matar, problematizar e toda a gota de l√°grima √© descoberta de um cora√ß√£o mergulhado e profanado ent√£o surge a corrente que me enlouquece e me acorrenta os pulsos e todo o impulso de estar condenado √† alma doente e tenebrosa esse p√≥ que nos sacode irrompe-se pelos sentidos e mais que fisicamente omnipresente do vapor da alma essa turbulenta raiz de alheamento est√° encontrada num s√≥ labirinto, o eu tu arrastado pela corrente submersa a apatia de mais um dia, despeda√ßado a corrente que me aperta, solta-se no momento quase urgente, todos esperam a alegoria de viver, transportada de buc√≥licos momentos.

A tocha a arder, fulminará, eis um fulgor e se acende a chama que por ti queima o meu pobre coração, um cavalo solto à espera de se amansar desfruto de tudo o que sinto, pois sentir-te como te sinto, nesse tempo infinito que se cruza com o passado envolvente e que marca qualquer vida de ser vivida.

O nosso reencontro debulha-se em magia que √© s√≥ o de te olhar e ver o teu rosto materno, a sensa√ß√£o de carinho e ternura s√≥ me levantam toda a amargura s√≥ preciso de viver e sempre te ver at√© morrer um escaldante movimento de l√°bios a uma sensualidade, uma felicidade transparente como um abra√ßo sentido √† espera de ser vivi- do, uma uni√£o forte sobretudo al√©m de te desejar, ambiciono que sejas t√£o feliz como um petiz uma raiz semeada, alimentada e fortificada a amizade √© o mais nobre do amor deixa o meu cora√ß√£o bater o teu ritmo. 

Pai num ai fui pai o momento mágico da aprendizagem maior sempre de esperança ao maior amor de ter um filho amor maior só de mãe amor de criança é gigante sempre atento e inteligente pai e filho o meu filho explode-me de alegria a sensação, a emoção, a afectividade, amor e carinho, é uma força que nos alude para a alegria eterna, a vontade de afecto, partilha, lição e devido ensinamento de ambos transborda de felicidade ao que qual de nós aspira em ser eternamente jovem aprendiz em pai novato. Queria dizer como te amo, como te sinto, como cada qual momento de ansiedade de uma pergunta e só mais um pouco porque me fascinas. O teu brilho será para mim sempre uma imagem de êxtase numa moldura onde cabemos os dois, mas tu és sempre o mais bonito. Longe vieste do simples nascer ao pensar só a ti preencher, como me enriqueces, és uma loucura a verdadeira ternura

L√°grima

Um dia se tivesse uma l√°grima depositaria em teu rosto para n√£o mais chorares

Sonho quis mergulhar intensamente acordei no meio do mar de um sono que perdurar√° anos a fios, o son√Ęmbulo sonhador, de uma alma de noite que ao entardecer o vulto da sombra se invade e desperta o escurecer da ilus√£o pura e crua, do mais eterno acordar e ver o que o sono profundo dele um dia se h√° - de despertar e acreditar no mito do sonhar sempre para chegar e alcan√ßar s√≥ mais um peda√ßo, ser uma linha infinita com o teu tra√ßo‚Ķ

Par

Quis um beijo um sono tranquilo que nos entorpece e desejamos por mais talvez não queiras saber o doce que há em ti e em que dizes palavras suaves e nos refrescam o palpitar de um agitar de um coração que te imagina apertado, entrelaçado e nunca mais desatado sou uma corrente nas veias que o teu coração bombeia sou um sopro do ar com leveza e clareza ritmadamente nunca sofrendo ou mal batendo sou como chuva na água e pedra na areia sou o teu, aquele que não se desprende e que prontamente te saboreia sem te provar eis que sou uma meia em busca de seu par uma bota mergulhada desatada à espera de se amarrar e um laço que nunca desfaço porque és o sapato do meu par que tenho gosto de amar.

Vida

No eterno guardar ela a√≠ se p√Ķe e depois n√£o h√° como enfrent√°-la, contorn√°-la ou manipul√°-la √© o terror do dissidente que efervesce e culmina num s√≥ ponto paralisa√ß√£o da mente da cria√ß√£o, imagina√ß√£o ou s√≥ pintar um tra√ßo florescente de verde de tonalidade e agarrar a vida nesse tom de viver e florescer, c√° se encontra o marcador que sempre quiseste assinalar, vive intensamente

Amar

Eis que rapidamente se reencontra do desejo ao conquistado vai indo e embatendo nas pedras do mar salgado e banhado aprofundado e mergulhado eis que sobressai

O frio que entra pelo nado sossegado e abstra√≠do vi-me envolvido com a √°gua da nascente ficando a poente a passagem para o outro lado  nada √© dif√≠cil basta pisar nunca o mesmo passo e avan√ßar deixa o teu cora√ß√£o tocar a m√ļsica que chama por ti vento, mar e um terreno conquistar basta amar. 

Muro 

Se fosse acontecer n√£o iria saber sopra o frio, irrequieta a mente gelada profanada, vendida e a alma, essa arma pura de sentimentalismo sem caminho, atada a um corpo que alucina e vai estando nunca chegando, porque a alma n√£o engana, o interesse superioriza mas ela √© pura da√≠ que proeminentemente se exp√Ķe num c√≠rculo fechado, meio entreaberto para com que com a subjuga√ß√£o a ilus√£o e vindo da imensid√£o surge um trov√£o e tudo p√°ra no momento da luminosidade do efeito por√©m a doen√ßa do esp√≠rito essas necessidades do corpo e que conscientemente nos mergulha no abismo do pr√≥prio ser e levita, remanesce e como um ap√™ndice que perturba os estados de alma e a doen√ßa do esp√≠rito est√° num tumor suportou dor e como que negligente o efeito e impacto sobre quem est√° a metros e a caminhada √© o encontro da alma, do esp√≠rito, do corpo agrupados num viver em que tudo destabiliza os factores ou porque o corpo n√£o aguenta mais a ferida da idade ou doen√ßas das maleitas e ent√£o esse esp√≠rito do eu e do nosso ego√≠smo venham √† nossa vontade por√©m perturba a alma e esta em expoente m√°ximo do pensar actua sobre o esp√≠rito corrompido e invadido puro, duro forte como um muro incapaz de sobressaltar.

Pensar

Um líquido de imaginação vertido, um derrame de fascínio uma loucura imersa e profunda ela suporta amistosamente através de feixes de harmonia e um corpo de magia invade e penetra o consciente inconsciente do mundo das aparências eis que viver se torna a beleza de um puro respirar e o infinito se torna limite visível e expande entre palavras sentimentos e um actuar sem emendar o seu pensar provoque o pensar e imagine sempre imaginando superiorize o estando, pensando e actuar para mudar.

Amizade

Crepuscular ao anoitecer ver tudo a acontecer no abrigo longe do imaginário inimigo, a batalha iria atravessar umas tréguas, com paz de espírito, volvendo à tranquilidade, a noite estava a cair, e eu começava a sentir esse toque esse sentir na pele macia a vontade e energia amizade sem idade o puro gesto de carinho mais forte que qualquer paixão ou amor e qualquer que seja o ninho só o toque de um polegar e basta imaginar o que se sentia e passava a corrente de toda a energia.

Aprender

Deslumbrado fascinado e com o caldo entornado, ali√°s deveras macamb√ļzio ou afrontado por√©m sentado, em alerta de estado, sem o m√≠nimo do sentido do minimalismo eis que roda pela cidade inteira, ent√£o confundido ou mal compreendido n√£o sei se estava decidido por√©m tudo nos faz sentido aquando do simples prazer de te escrever a pedido n√£o exigido, quando acontece permanece e esvanece tudo o que sentiu e viu, contudo s√≥ olhar, ler e escrever interpretar, assimilar transportar e ensinando aprendendo, eis que cresce o alento com a for√ßa do vento, e ent√£o desaparecendo, voando 7 mares poisando o dito por dito eis que mergulhava, ia aprofundava, todo o amigo do amigo esse amigo indivis√≠vel e por√©m n√£o vis√≠vel era um alerta, um pensamento do talento que voa corre, percorre e imagina l√° e n√£o estando mas sempre presenciando volta a nascer o que um dia um cada um s√≥ pensa porque j√°, hoje, agora √© futuro e o escrito duro do usufruto de um simples bafejar e sobretudo criar e imaginar e voltar a recriar e volta ao seu lugar pelo qual nunca tinha sa√≠do de l√°, mas assim acol√°, j√° est√° olho para o rel√≥gio de prefer√™ncia, pontual actual e factos presenciados, s√£o assistidos e num original sentimento, de prazer que vem com o enternecer e o escurecimento t√£o normal t√£o banal, s√≥ e simplesmente o madrugar e o despertar assim como o escurecer e o acender da noite m√°gica e pragmaticamente era levitando e remando num bote com um norte, um rumo estridente e cintilante era ela, aquela um s√≥ ponto, com retorno e um mar t√£o dif√≠cil de imaginar era imenso e tremendo f√ļria dos oceanos esse para que se dirige √† viagem clandestina sem acolhimento era a esfera quadrada um tri√Ęngulo revertido como uma pir√Ęmide de um sarc√≥fago de esp√≠rito de alma impenetr√°vel‚Ķ como um esquecido vivendo, acontecendo do s√≠tio uma imagem de uma folha que n√£o seca, a sua irriga√ß√£o para a caneta e a escrita do nosso planeta cada antena, sat√©lite ou simples fio que mant√™m contacto com o outro planeta e viajamos como arvores em que nascem ramos e as flores do jardineiro que brilham o dia inteiro s√£o como um brilhar no luar ia acontecer e depois mais um salto, mais um pulo de ver um puto nascer e sobretudo v√™-lo crescer e aprender e apreender tudo o que observa e transformado acto, que na l√≠ngua da crian√ßa √© pele macia em supremacia dos filhos em rela√ß√£o aos pais e devido ensinamento da dupla coniv√™ncia de aprendizagem observadora e de um aprender e saber como um g√©meo que t√™m um par em que aprendizagem √© m√ļtua muito minha e tua desafio-te vamos crescer e sempre aprender saber e muito viver.

Sinto um sofrer que me impede de ver gostava de ser real com conduta sempre leal mas como um triste palha√ßo sou falso o sorriso, a alegria do interior n√£o obedece ao exterior sinto um flutuar que me faz sair do lugar normal seria viajar e ficar num ponto onde se dista da pr√≥pria vista sinto um passo largo abismal, fen√≥meno antinatural por√©m como selv√°tico animal sente a ferocidade e com velocidade, arranca estrangula e mata como se uma for√ßa inata o predestinasse ao falhan√ßo no momento e em avan√ßo e numa viagem sem tra√ßo fica a imagem do revoltoso, odioso e deveras pecaminoso eis uma jura no c√©u √† temperatura da altura, vem o fresco alegre e sereno malmequer que diz p√°ra, floresce e cresce, esse √≠mpeto violento n√£o passa de um mau momento toda a ferocidade de ser culminada e aprimorada de repente deixe que nada ou quase nada o incomode e ao mais puro √≠mpeto diz-lhe faz o barulho do ar e p√Ķem-te a pensar, irei tudo vencer sem temer, sem nunca aprender a n√£o viver com a armadilha esse √≥dio que possuis n√£o √© teu, no teu eu humano v√™s que boas ac√ß√Ķes te tornar√£o a estrela na terra ao cair o pano pe√ßo que toquem o piano pois tenho um plano vamos iremos partindo ao chegar nunca te impe√ßa de te realizar e voa plana e sobrevoa a nuvem tempestuosa √© uma condi√ß√£o multi-factorial que nos torna em chuva dilacerante da terna e h√ļmida face terrena serena a leitura parece ter uma conjectura uma arquitectura sem engenharia na sua pot√™ncia, alude ao fant√°stico, ao inating√≠vel realista, porque temos todos os poderes que acreditamos, sobretudo havia um vidro envolvente escuro mas em tons defumados absolutamente transparentes os valores s√£o como as flores t√™m de reg√°-los constantemente e aquilo que √© semente cresce na mente ser diferente do igual ao que todos temos instintos e ferocidade a pr√≥pria alma de homem al√©m da devida po√ß√£o m√°gica √© o t√ļnel vertiginoso no qual se v√™ a entrada uma luz e cujo final √© o descarrilar de um po√ßo sem fundo tudo o que temos de puro apreendido e executado. 

Eis que ningu√©m vencer√° no seu mundo o t√ļnel √© a passagem vive a luz da entrada e ilumina o teu caminho pois o que temos √© a linha da vida e essa √© para ser conduzida.

Amor profundo amor sofrido foi sentido também esquecido no fundo meio perdido arrependido e vivido.

M√°scara vivendo em t√©rmino como acabar e tudo finalizar, eis que por certo, nada t√£o certo como o que n√£o ter nada de incerto inserto mais uma linha √≠nfima e cont√≠nua de um limite que n√£o deixa antever o infinito, portanto como as linhas temos dois pontos o nascer e o s√≥ infinitamente s√≥ a face da morte vai chegando lentamente como de um sopro tudo o que se sentiu, acabou porque jamais viu outro rosto sen√£o o fim a m√°scara do tenebroso. 

Lembran√ßa 

Por ti sofri por ti senti contigo amei contigo vivi nunca amei outra que beijei em ti vi em ti entrei o amor que sempre lembrarei senti nunca tanto sofrendo nada mais querendo morrendo por ti atrav√©s de mim por ti escrevi por tanto que sofri e nunca morri e por ti jamais perdi s√≥ senti. 

Amante num certo instante parecia distante um dia s√≥ longe do amor de algu√©m j√° amante. 

Reflex√Ķes

√Ä espera de algo nascer ao espelho sou eu e o meu reflexo como √© bom reflectir s√≥ e n√£o s√≥ a sua imagem tamb√©m esta simples reflex√£o sem espelho foi transmitida. 

Noite clara numa noite escura t√£o clara como a madrugada em que cantos pelo teu encanto se tornam como o verdadeiro assobio do p√°ssaro que voa e todos aspiram a liberdade .

Escrita 

Eu‚Ķ e o maior bem que posso possuir um papel e uma irresist√≠vel caneta sobretudo aspiro s√≥ ao pensamento 

Falecimento 

Morri! Sim, foi o princ√≠pio do fim o in√≠cio do volte-face sem amargura, mas tamb√©m sem ternura era a viagem feita sem imagem, e sem coragem contrapondo o menor e o maior era hora de partir ou ficar neste lugar, imaginando tudo e nada de vez em quando ele partia, e ia ao fundo ao extremo que diz n√£o temo, nem tremo a viagem tem regresso nesse mundo imerso na profundeza da beleza que tudo o que tenho, √© tudo e de tudo, nada quero, pois quando partirei nada levarei, foi isto que pensei. 

Abismo estou num precip√≠cio onde o abismo √© o fim. 

Espera e ele andava assim, desejando e querendo pulando, saltitando e fumando era andando sem percorrer destino a ansiedade varia com a idade embora se viva sempre de modo ansios√≠ssimo esperando por algo, queremos sempre qualquer coisa, tudo em n√≥s se interp√Ķe como vontade pr√≥pria involuntariamente.

Escada 

Sentei-me, equacionei, porém o resultado, não estava perto do esperado, desci a escada pelo elevador e entre luz e escuro e aperto eis que ele se manobra segundo própria vontade daí que subiu e lentamente desceu nunca caindo.

Sede 

De um rasgo, uma intuição ou destruição, esse pensamento é belo um trago do cantil do frigorífico e trago para o local da sede e tudo fica saciado e magnifico existência.
 
Sem vontade de acabar, acabando √© assim em que ela vem  escuto as palavras al√©m vi esse aterrador como vencedor mais uma vez n√£o quero ir e por isso existo e fico aqu√©m

Sol

O que foi acontecer senti pelo amanhecer um terno entristecer que vinha com o anoitecer vivi, revivi e renasço sou ele o poderoso o sol.

Renascer na cortina da fuma√ßa eis que ele a√≠ nas√ßa sem pergaminho do acontecimento eis que era moment√Ęneo e que a laje se afasta e s√≥ basta para viver mais uma vida por uma imagem √© simples veja cada instante √† sua imagem e renas√ßa

Olhar o perfume, o cheiro da insanidade, loucura tortura do pensamento tudo desvinculado sem parente, um órfão do coração, a dor de um só amor por tantos outros que fere o olhar e mata o desejo e a saudade culminar só mais um instante, um momento vindo desse teu pensamento, provavelmente todos existimos não apenas como imagem virtuosa mas em função de uma aparência ou estado a mente não morre no momento de toda a existência física e de repente tudo se apaga, ou poderá culminar.

Viver morrendo

Entre viver ou morrer? Ai! Perd√£o, isso coloca-se? √ďbvio, quem nunca se matou? Todos j√° deixamos de viver um momento. Todos sem excep√ß√£o como prazer funesto pensamos vamos morrer e depois logo vamos viver √© assim ,o contradit√≥rio do rid√≠culo

Leaver

Dear friend ... I write too far...you were gone...my little friend...tonight my soul...cries for you! Take my heart a chance...please forgive me my friend...my freedom...lost away in heaven... You were taken...return¬īs a pleasure...so quiet... Silence, the half-way to who were died...forgiven...last word...

Interrompido

Se em mim evaporasse a minha alma, nada restaria al√©m de escombros  secretos, alheio √† fantasia. De uma subvers√£o emergida, flutua a ociosidade de mais um momento, particular.

Ser

Um som, um √Ęmago de boca, um toque suave, uma cor um s√≥ sonhar para encantar num s√≥ momento, √ļnico desesperado e inspirado de uma acutil√Ęncia, sem dist√Ęncia, sem limite o corte do sufoco, ultrapassa o imagin√°rio nesse quadro pinto sangue, de dor avermelhado e inflamado pelo sentido, de n√£o possuir um enigma, mas sim uma realidade, uma vis√£o. Quando ao outro nos juntamos e vemos como acreditar de um olhar aprovador e encorajador de uma exist√™ncia, adulterada, invertida e espelhada.

De toda a mágoa que sinto que a alguém devo pertencer, sem temer a compaixão, louca, sem paixão e de pura alma de um nó sem corrente, mas entrelaçado, e unido, de um só sentido, de um querer e enfim ter, e no fim nada ser...

Ausência

Se tocasse e visse o teu mundo, ficaria imundo, sem um toque mudo de sensibilidade, de pelo menos crer que alguém supera a minha realidade. A minha simples tristeza é como toda a felicidade atingível quanto inalcançável. Por magia, sem ironia de em um dia te disser, toca-me sente, como me olhas e verás quem eu não sou e o que serei junto a ti. Num ardente fósforo queima a dor que em mim encerra quando tudo queimar. Nunca te tirei, aliás em ti direi que sofres porque nunca te deixei e saber que vos amei e sempre vos amarei...

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 O vulto

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amo-te mais vezes que aquelas que o meu coração possa bater...
Eu expiro | tu inspiras | o mesmo ar | de amar
Sou todas as cores para pintar o teu mundo...
  Por mim, por ti e por quem gosta de mim
Um dia 
Plantaste uma raiz no meu cora√ß√£o  hoje, essa √°rvore 
Chama-se amor para uma vida jamais, pode ser arrancada pois vive  dentro de mim 

Transformador
Equilíbrio de forças reluzentes que transformam a realidade.
Quadro el√©ctrico comanda as posi√ß√Ķes e destinos da corrente universal.
Luz solar
Ilumina as entranhas
Obscuras da natureza terrestre.
Fonte luminosa cai como gotas no ch√£o nessa fonte de vida e de luminosidade.
Farol
Busca incessantemente de modo giratório o movimento da anormalidade.
Electrocuss√Ķes
Nervos ruidosos pestanejam com electrocuss√Ķes card√≠acas.
Ondas electromagnéticas
Vão e voltam os pensamentos ondulares à volta do círculo das ondas.
Corrente eléctrica
Percorre-me o corpo esta corrente que me leva ao circuito das ondas
Impulso eléctrico
Sou abanado por impulsos que circulam de modo eléctrico.
A luz da verdade
Brilha intensamente a verdade quando descoberta por impulso.
Apag√£o
Calam-se as vozes atormentadas pelo sentimento luminoso do ser.
Vela luminosa
Acende-se a dor
Acumulada da cera derretida.
Portas eléctricas
Abrem suavemente tocando, mas fechando-se sem tempo para se abrir.
Motos serra eléctrica
Corta com as raízes de ódio vibrantes de energia obscura.
Electrocutado
Electrocutado em fumo luminoso que apaga a memória.
Turbulências electromagnéticas
Fervilham nas mentes turbulentos electromagnetismos infinitos.
Raio electrizante
Como um raio electrizante que paralisa a mente energética.
Luzes diabólicas
Cada ser possui uma luz diabólica electrizante de intermitências.
Luz intermitente
Luzes intermitentes assolam-me
A passagem da corrente ininterrupta.
Luz opaca
Luzes opacas iluminam seres mirabolantes na luz escura.
Fios eléctricos
Fios eléctricos percorrem-me o corpo vibrante de energia.
10¬ļ circuito el√©ctrico
Subo e avan√ßo em direc√ß√£o ao 10¬ļ circuito el√©ctrico e h√° uma falha de energia incorrupt√≠vel.
Queda eléctrica
Caiu el√©ctrico sobre as palavras de extasia e de sensa√ß√Ķes.
Corte luminoso
Cortantes e luminosos ecos,
Resplandecentes de luz agarram a voz que quebra.
Obscuridade relampejante
Relampeja obscuros os seres andantes com orientação ocular.
Fluorescência
Florescem e caem que nem trov√Ķes em todas as direc√ß√Ķes e sentidos.
‚Äúofuscul√™ncia‚ÄĚ
Rel√Ęmpagos lancinantes ofuscam o prazer alheio de sensa√ß√Ķes e de olhares.
Incandescências
Cruzam-se arcos profundos em tua alma que se seguram a el√©ctrodo - choques din√Ęmicos e incandescentes.
Electrocut√°veis
Como um laivo que me martela as incongruências dos sentimentos que apelam a uma luz forte e determinada.
Ausência crepuscular
Enrolo-me suavemente nas luzes agudas do meu ser, suavemente me deleito com um raio.
Reminiscências
Acordo absorto num dia luminoso, preparo-me para sair das trevas e com o poder da luz, distribuirei força e energia para toda a comunidade constelar.
Luz ameaçadora
Ameaçam essas luzes convalescentes que nos atormentam e deixam antever o perigo.
Luz de presença
Essa luz que te acompanha em momentos bucólicos e incapaz de a confrontar te intimida em secretismo.
Luz vermelha
A luz vermelha intensa e bloqueadora de nervos aceleradores.
Choque
Choques zarpares e contaminadores de mentes sem impulsos alastram-se.
Luz de companhia
Iluminado o que n√£o se d√° e nem sente luz de companhia.
Trov√Ķes
Trov√Ķes rangem e estilha√ßam ru√≠dos sedentos de prazer.
Luz poderosa
Luzes poderosas condenam vidas alheias à instrução por vozes
Raios
Como raios poderosos e lacerantes que cortam laços impossíveis de atar.
Luz fosca
Ofuscaram a consciência em que penetram volumosos feixes de luz.
Luz intensa
Intensamente se iluminam as brumas da luz negra
Cósmica luminosa
Como um cosmos penetrante e profundo que alivia os esquecimentos da alma.

Poder da luz

O poder curativo da luz iluminou-me os filamentos da raz√£o no prep√ļcio do desespero, estou-lhe grato. Essa luz encaminhou-me na direc√ß√£o da corrente de extasia da vida quotidiana, iluminou-me o futuro doentio e despropositado para ent√£o sim trov√Ķes abatem-se em mim e relampeja como dinamite despojado de prazer funesto.
Ent√£o sim curado pela luz e movimento dela curei-me e sa√≠ das entranhas cal√≥ricas de rigor e de exactid√£o. Mas n√£o sei se essa luz me iluminar√° o passado pois temo que ela n√£o tenha qualquer luz que corra energia. Da√≠ que h√° dois p√≥los, dois extremos de energia. E eu fui atingido pela positiva e curativa e n√£o pela negra e assombrosa. Essa luz prov√©m da clareza de emo√ß√Ķes e racionalidade do crep√ļsculo do imediato e impulsivo, sem transi√ß√£o e opaco de sentidos, n√£o sentimentos embutidos nem pregados. A luz √© forte, √© intensa e queimar√° todos, com os seus raios em quem nela se opuser, junta-te √† luz, aos sentidos.
Deixar√° de haver energia e for√ßa impulsiva, agarra o talento que tens e for√ßa como um raio azul cortante e ventilaste de sufocos n√£o vividos e de pensamentos maliciosos e penetrantes que nos vitimam como sombras sem luz que as alimente. Quero assim dizer que h√° luz em ti e h√° trov√Ķes, tempestades, energias e luz, essencialmente luz l√≠mpida, e pura na sua forma mais primitiva o fogo esse fogo que nos cruza e nos alimenta e por vezes nos queima, assim √© a vida feita de luzes transit√≥rias e oponentes contra a pr√≥pria raz√£o ou sentido de energia que nos d√™ for√ßa e vitalidade para aguentar os seus choques esbatidos e sem for√ßa que se recriminam e encontram em causas desculpas do seu envolvimento, n√£o h√° luz sem energia e tudo tem energia, tudo tem a sua luz e movimento e corrente, isto √© o pr√≥prio ser, que nos intimida e tantas vezes nos confronta com acusa√ß√Ķes estranhas que n√£o entendemos pois n√£o s√£o dirimentes nem ousam chocar com outra energia mas sim tentar apagar a sua luz, mas ela est√° presente e como que se revela, infiltra-se nos sentidos da vis√£o e mostra-nos a clareza do pensamento atrav√©s do sil√™ncio dos tempos, e como se cala endurecesse a opini√£o e desfruta das incapacidades ingl√≥rias que outros transmitem atrav√©s de energias negativas ou positivas. Mas √© um facto a luz do raio azul intimida, mas acolhe naquela energia quem nele se quiser transportar e isto √† velocidade da luz, do imediato, do segundo, da frac√ß√£o, do momento, e o momento √© instant√Ęneo da√≠ que n√£o haver√° cortes no quadro nem na conduta mais rid√≠cula pois todos t√™m direito √† energia, sejam elas de efeito positivo ou negativo. J√° o efeito dilacerante da faiska negra acontece no p√≥lo neutro de sensatez e se transporta na loucura da energia vibrante e sedenta de prazer e de luminar, por isso aconselho usa a tua pr√≥pria energia para ser atingindo pela luz e esbater√° um sorriso ardente como cinzas, despojadas de calor, mas fren√©tica quando agitada. Doutro quadrante temos o raio azul com pensamento imperturb√°vel de luzes de √°rvore de natal e stressadas que nos conduzem √† distrac√ß√£o. O raio azul conhece o seu caminho, direc√ß√£o, orienta√ß√£o e tem discernimento para enquadrar energias e fot√Ķes, poss√≠veis curtos circuitos, mas vibrante e impulsivo viaja sempre √† velocidade n√£o da luz mas do raio azul. √Č nessa transi√ß√£o de energia que se confrontam as energia pragm√°ticas n√£o efusivas mas obstrutivas que nos impedem de viver o instant√Ęneo, o trov√£o agita-se e proeminentemente afecta a onda sonora que produzem velocidades supers√≥nicas mas n√£o t√£o poderosas. Como confronta√ß√£o directa e oprimida pelas gentes luminosas engrossam as luzes opacas que desvirtuam o que √© real e parece irreal, mas h√° luzes fict√≠cias tamb√©m isso √© o poder da luz da imagina√ß√£o.

 Raio azul

Enfurecido o raio azul invade-me o ser resplandecente de energia que a brota nos poros sujos de preconceitos e intoler√Ęncias a que este raio azul vai atingir.

Luz laser

Esta luz laser √© penetrante e de modo invis√≠vel penetra at√© o n√£o vis√≠vel e impercept√≠vel. √Č uma luz vidente e mestra nas suposi√ß√Ķes e encruzilhadas alheias ao pr√≥prio vidente. Impercept√≠vel e in√≥cua provoca atrav√©s de seu feixe uma suc√ß√£o de pensamentos e ideias preconcebidas com veneno ao pr√≥prio veneno e seu ant√≠doto.

Luz de sótão

Esse fumo trespassa a luz da mente encoberta de trapos de mem√≥rias desfeitas em cabe√ßas soltas de direc√ß√£o e ac√ß√£o, ac√ß√£o essa motora que arrefece o escal√£o do pensamento fren√©tico de lentid√£o e massificador amente descoordenada. Penetrante no √≥cio do momento entusiasma-se e distribui-se pelas luzes cerebrais e excitantes em est√≠mulos de corrente el√©ctrica deambulante. Intensifica-se na massa corporal e distribui luz hipn√≥tica e paralisante, como um desencadeio de rimas das palavras sem nexo. Essas luzes de s√≥t√£o entram em qualquer cabe√ßa com ecl√©ctica raiz de engenharia de ponta. H√° quem tenha macaquinhos, outros s√≥ s√≥t√£os, outras luzes do s√≥t√£o que ofuscam a entrada principal, quem me dera penetrar nos s√≥t√£os com recorda√ß√Ķes, pensamentos, enfim vida vivida sem grandes causas mas com recorda√ß√Ķes. Recorda√ß√Ķes essas que ficam a iluminar o s√≥t√£o para sempre e uns est√£o sempre aberto ou fechados em ba√ļs. 

Rel√Ęmpago

Aquece e escurece e torna-se im√≥vel e silencioso, mas range e o ru√≠do quando acontece √© ofegante e avassalador que contagia a raiva de viver e estar presente entre outras luzes e ilumina√ß√Ķes ou at√© mesmo simples escurid√£o passageira mas marcante de suspiros e que rompe os sil√™ncios mais electrizantes. Esse rel√Ęmpago que te apaga a consci√™ncia marcada pela emiss√£o de gemidos eloquentes e que precipitam a ac√ß√£o negligenciador de sentido de oportunidade de estar im√≥vel no momento em que ca√≠ outro rel√Ęmpago nesse mundo. Cinzas de luz essas cinzas que te marcam de calor a ferros bravios e fortes s√≥ de uma golpeada est√£o contaminados pelas cinzas de luz do passado e do futuro omnipresente que n√£o esqueces e que te rebeldia. Corta-te o impulso do momento e propaga-se lentamente dilacerante e efusivamente dizendo-te controla-te, e te arremessa para dentro de um po√ßo de luz que se afoga na mem√≥ria das palavras incontinentes e que derrama a sua sede de luz. Em polvorosa est√£o as cinzas ardentes de um corpo magn√©tico que assobia e pestaneja no teu cora√ß√£o ardente de desejo de algo, viril e m√°sculo ou ent√£o feminino e sensual, essa dupla personagem afronta-te como uma dupla personalidade que n√£o cede nem para um lado nem para outro. Essas cinzas de luz aquecem o sombrio e o fr√≠volo e t√™m em seu calor a protec√ß√£o das chuvas devoradas e que se alastram pelos continentes e espa√ßo intemporal.

À luz do prazer

Essa luz que nos invade e nos presenteia de luxuosos discernimentos e nos leva aos in√ļmeros prazeres deprimentes e da ansiedade da qu√≠mica do prazer sedent√°rio, mas n√£o encrostado, mas sim impresso nas faces ing√©nuas de prazer alheio que iluminam o ser ou do sentir ou da emo√ß√£o. Emo√ß√£o essa que sente prazer mirabolante e resplandecente e alivia as contrac√ß√Ķes sentidas pelo excesso de prazer, excesso esse que nos redirecciona para outros sentidos e prazeres. Quanto √† luz do prazer desenvolve-se e alimenta-se de v√≠cio que n√£o recua e n√£o oscila e embate em cabelos loucos de prazer da nega√ß√£o.

Luz hipnótica

Apalpadelas sentidas na face hipn√≥tica da luz presenciam sentimentos que deixam antever o desejo do v√≠cio dessa luz que nos leva a dinamizar e a acreditar que existe luz. Por ela somos levados sem cr√©dito e sem d√©bitos, estagnado como a vida hipn√≥tica de seres transcendente que se viciam em fontes de prazer hipn√≥ticos. V√≠cios esses que deliram pelos cabelos e sobrancelhas carregadas de pudor e √≥cio. Transcendente essa luz que nos leva a novos desafios iguais em pensamento diferentes em reac√ß√£o, reac√ß√Ķes essas desmedidas e puras que enfrentam o puro desejo de ter a luz, em seu poder para ser alimentado por ela e conduzido pelas pedras soltas que se juntam como barro em aquecimento.

Luz intensa

Intensamente essa luz divide-se entre corpos alienados de movimento e oscila entre dois caminhos fáceis de iluminar, mas sem qualquer corrente eléctrica, ela é auto-suficiente e subsiste na amargura e no desalento da hipnose sistémica que nos alimenta e desenvolve. Mas conscientemente é uma luz tão intensa que se apaga e auto transmite poderes mesmo apagada.

Trov√Ķes psicad√©licos 

Psicad√©licos entrecruzam-se no ru√≠do dos bravos trov√Ķes que suportam e potenciam a anormalidade que prov√©m do facto de sermos abrangidos por esta trovoa- da psicad√©lica. Pois bem aqui se erradia luz coerente, sem pot√™ncias ou escalas, isso seria apenas um pretexto para a anormalidade do trov√£o negro, que se enjaula e grunhe nos sentidos mais estranhos e profundos de absorv√™ncia da raz√£o porque ele se apaga, range e desloca-se sem o m√≠nimo de secretismos, aparentemente mundo de luzes psicad√©licas afligem quem nele se quiser despistar, ou desfrutar de prazeres escalonados preconceituosos tingidos pelas cores obl√≠quas estagnadas, sem vontade de cria√ß√£o ou de mera indulg√™ncia. Imbu√≠do no esp√≠rito dos fragmentos do pensamento, de facto fragmentados est√£o todos aqueles que imaginam outro mundo, distante de perturba√ß√Ķes, que nos irritam como quando co√ßamos o olho, ou simplesmente pestanejamos. Esse movimento alienado de outro movimento, incandesce e pulveriza as mentes distantes e alheado ao simples facto do que √© ser movimentado ou agitado. O trov√£o √© psicad√©lico e afugenta esp√≠ritos, sem que eles se manifestem, como n√£o existem, √© uma realidade paralela de rumores e intransig√™ncias como o bicho pap√£o, e aqui ningu√©m se alimenta de personalidades bizarras e cognomes da preexist√™ncia ainda que n√£o exista de facto. Da√≠ que tudo o que √© irreal tem hist√≥ria intemporal, mas tem, qualquer coisa, tem medo, medo esse nos deporta num horizonte de 5 dimens√Ķes, pol√≠gonas e lineares, mas n√£o suscept√≠veis ou sequer pass√≠veis de qualquer tra√ßo, tra√ßo esse que representa os hemisf√©rios do pensamento transcendente e apote√≥tico. N√£o floresce nem cresce nos filamentos da raz√£o abstracta ideias, nascem sim impulsos de personagens j√° vistas, e decoradas, movimentos de imita√ß√£o e adequa√ß√£o ao instante, mas tudo consciencializado e minimamente calculado. Sem c√°lculos o trov√£o √© real e imprevis√≠vel da√≠ que seja de uma genu√≠na espontaneidade que √© absurdo pensar em qualquer outra fonte de energia psicad√©lica. Rangem e moem as cabe√ßas de outrora e j√° desvanecestes em folhas amarelas e comidas pelos bibli√≥fagos, e sem qualquer perseveran√ßa intimidam os obsoletos da mem√≥ria e do feito e contrafeito √° sua medida. Rodeados de aparelhos de medida, congratulam-se os rotulantes abexins e riem-se os trov√Ķes da abiss√≠nia. √Ä luz do passado exortam-se aqueles que vivem √† luz do passado, esses moribundos do al√©m invadem corpos celestes no proeminente facto de acontecer, do imediato. Mas tudo s√£o quest√Ķes luminosas, de luzes mais intensas ou menos, mas s√£o radia√ß√Ķes energ√©ticas que n√£o s√£o compat√≠veis com o passado, nem mesmo do mo- mento anterior. Luzes passadas emitem portanto radia√ß√Ķes nefastas que por√©m n√£o ofuscam qualquer luz luminosa e radiante que se queira acender a qualquer instante, impulso ou momento. Pois o passado cruza-se com o presente, o instante, o impulso, segundo ou frac√ß√£o, mas n√£o influencia a sua cor